What would you have said ???

[MaxUK]

An interesting bar conversation I had a few months ago with a good friend went something like this:

Me: Well it wasn't the first time I have been to one (I had told her I had been to a CO beach during the summer and it was something I enjoyed)

Her: But what's so good about it?

Me: Well, most folk are naked and the sun and sea just feel great when you have nothing on, plus no one appears to feel embarrassed or self concious. It's a special feeling that can really only be experienced by actually doing it, not hearing about it.

Her: Yes but doesn't everybody look at everybody else because they are all naked?

Me: No more than on a 'normal' beach, where people spotting is a favourite pastime on beaches the world over. Of course people look, but as everyone is starkers, it doesn't matter.

Her: Well it would to me. On a 'normal' beach people look at a person, their clothes, swimwear, style, manner etc., same as when you people watch from a cafe or something. It seems to me on a nude beach people look at other people to check out what they are like when they are nude, thus focussing attention on to the parts normally covered up. Would I want a load of strange men ogling my bits in this way - no I would not.

I mostly enjoy it when people, men or women, look at me for what I am wearing or something I am doing. But if the focus of this looking is my naked body, specifically my genitals, then I would be very uncomfortable.

So - I tried to tell her that it wasn't like that but a small voice in my head kept saying, "well, yes it is actually, some of the time"

What would you have said??

[MaxUK]

An interesting bar conversation I had a few months ago with a good friend went something like this:

Me: Well it wasn't the first time I have been to one (I had told her I had been to a CO beach during the summer and it was something I enjoyed)

Her: But what's so good about it?

Me: Well, most folk are naked and the sun and sea just feel great when you have nothing on, plus no one appears to feel embarrassed or self concious. It's a special feeling that can really only be experienced by actually doing it, not hearing about it.

Her: Yes but doesn't everybody look at everybody else because they are all naked?

Me: No more than on a 'normal' beach, where people spotting is a favourite pastime on beaches the world over. Of course people look, but as everyone is starkers, it doesn't matter.

Her: Well it would to me. On a 'normal' beach people look at a person, their clothes, swimwear, style, manner etc., same as when you people watch from a cafe or something. It seems to me on a nude beach people look at other people to check out what they are like when they are nude, thus focussing attention on to the parts normally covered up. Would I want a load of strange men ogling my bits in this way - no I would not.

I mostly enjoy it when people, men or women, look at me for what I am wearing or something I am doing. But if the focus of this looking is my naked body, specifically my genitals, then I would be very uncomfortable.

So - I tried to tell her that it wasn't like that but a small voice in my head kept saying, "well, yes it is actually, some of the time"

What would you have said??

[Bartamus]

MAXUK: I've actually had similar conversations
like that with non-naturist friends. I just tell
them I never think about it. Unless it's someone
that's bothering me. That's never happened..
usually I'm near other naturists at nude beaches
who tend to be the majority.

[Rik]

Hey Max, I think you must have overheard a similar conversation I had recently. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

In your position I'd have said "Well yes they do see your naked body and yes they do see your genitals but for me being a naturist means that I have have no more anxiety about anyone seeing my "bits" than I do about them seeing my knees, or my elbows, or my face or my toes. Naturism encourages one to feel self confident about one's body whereas clothes are designed to project an image you have of yourself which may, or may not, be the true you. If you feel enjoyment when people look at you clothed then I guess you are successfully projecting the image of you that you want others to see."

Rik

[Naked Bob 2]

Very well put Rik. I myself have had similar conversations in the past. Most of these folks simply find it hard to believe I guess. I stated to my friend that of course you notice those things. But no more than you notice that they have brown hair or a big nose or blue eyes. It is just another body part and shouldn't receive anymore attention.

[Trailscout]

I concur with you fellows. Genitals are just not that much of an attention getter, noticed no more than navels or rumps. We men vary in size a bit, and whether we are circumcised, but basically God gave us all the same reproductive parts. With the exception of one or two who shave, I have never seen a nude woman's genitals in a social setting. Even with the smoothie gals, there's just not that much to see. After a few minutes of getting used to social nudity, we focus on faces, as we listen to stories, smile, tell jokes, etc.. just like in textile world.

[Bob S.]

First thing I would have said differently, I wouldn't use the word starkers, of course, I am not from the UK.

Seriously, you could have explained to her that men on a textile beach are not admiring her fashion sense in wearing that wonderful purple bathing suit with matching sarong. They are looking beyond the fabric and admiring that wich they cannot see, the breasts pressed agaisnt the fabric and the taut bottoms that really cover only the esseential, legally mandated areas.

On a nudist beach, everything is out in the open and there is no reason to mentally take the clothes off of anyone. It's already done. And after the first look is over, there is usually the boredom factor that others here have referred to.

Bob S.

I agree wholeheartedly. I've stated before that if I see a woman in a skimpy, revealing swimsuit, I will look more closely and a lot longer than I would if she's totally nude. Why? It's because of what you can't see--not what you can. I saw a woman at Turtle Lake Resort in a bikini which she never took off. Why she was at a nudist resort I can't imagine since she never got nude. I looked at her a lot though she was quite a ways away because even at that great distance I could see that she looked good. Whereas had she been nude I would noticed her nice body and then looked away and went on my way.

Yes, there are gawkers and others who are there only for the sights , but you will find them everywhere. I certainly NEVER look between a woamn's legs at any distance. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

[greensunshine]

Putting it in simple terms:

SEX SELLS especially when the person is clothed in some form of textiles...ie bathing suit, shirt, pants, whatever...and Resorts are of NO EXCEPTION.

From a female point of view, I am more likely to be raped with something/anything on, than nothing on...Oh, and guys this goes for you too /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif

And adding one additional tidbit, people can be raped at Nudist Resorts even by other people who proclaim to be Nudist.

Greensunshine

[MaxUK]

A thoughtful and realistic crop of replies there I would say. The person in question is extremely unlikely to ever want to try 'au naturel' (I know her very well!!) and just can't even seem to understand what others find enjoyable about getting nude on a beach etc. She is a very smart, confident lady with no hang ups about anything much, from what I can tell - she's just not interested, which is her choice and so be it.

She respects my views though and I'll keep talking to her when/if the chance presents itself again, as I'd like to get her to change her views a bit at least.

Max

[FireProf]

MaxUK,

Has your friend ever tried nudism by herself? Maybe she needs little baby steps before taking a big giant step into social nudity such as the beach or a resort.

We told our grown children several months back about being nudists. They had all the questions many of us have fielded from relatives and friends. Now some time after coming forth with our secret, seems our son-in-law is periodically sleeping nude. Our daughter, I'm sure has from time to time, but our son in law has told her that he never has until we told him about our lifestyle.

They asked if we would want them to partake in nudism while on vacations with us. We told them that, that was a decision they had to make on their own. We also suggested they try nudism alone and together to see if this was something they enjoyed doing.

They have tried nudism alone and together, but are not where we are. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won't but they have to be confortable with it themselfs first. What makes us think they may be considering trying it is that they more frequently ask us about a nude beach we visit. Your friend may be more willing to see yours and our lifestyle with a more opened mind if and when she feels comfortable with nudity by herself and the feelings, so difficult for many of us to put into words, feel when we are nude.

What would have said? I would have asked her that when she was done taking her bath or shower that she dry off and sit and read, or iron, or do whatever she would without putting anything on. Or try it first with just a shirt on a couple of times, then without the shirt. After she has experienced this tip of the iceberg, then I would talk to her more about what feelings she had when she was nude. What she liked and what she didn't You'll probably find out she has less of an argument and just needs more" alone time" with nudity first.

/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

[Bob S.]

Jon-Marc,

Just as a naked person will stand out in a crowd of clothed people, so will a clothed person amongst naked people. You noticed this bikini woman because you were at a nudist park and she was clothed. Whether she was good-looking was secondary. You simply noticed colors that did not match her normal skin tones.

greensunshine,

Nobody is 100% safe anywhere. I agree that one can be accosted or worse at a nudist park just as one can become victimized sitting on a park bench. However, I think you are safer in nudist parks than in most public places.

Max,

We are not going to convince everyone that nudism is the preferred lifestyle or that skinny-dipping is the best way to swim. If she is adamant about not wanting to go, don't push. Just make the note that she will not be your next partner at the nude beach.

But I would say that if your relationship is good enough or you are in the right situation with someone, trying to allay some misperceptions that they have is fine.

Bob S.

[Lorie]

I remember seeing a cartoon a few years ago of two guys sitting on a beach watching people go by. A beautiful girl walked by that was obviously new to nudism because of her tan lines. One of the guys made the comment, "I bet she looks great in that bikini". It struck me as funny because if she was wearing the bikini the guys probably still would have been staring and probably wondering what see looked like without it. And here she was nude and they were not commenting about her nakedness but what she would look like dressed!

Nudists probably find this much funnier than non-nudists because a nudist understands that you don't focus on people's nakedness after the first 10 minutes of being at a beach or resort. And I don't think that feeling is something you can explain. It's really something that people have to experience for themselves.

I think we can talk to people about nudism until we are blue in the face but the best way to get them to understand is to have them give it a try. I always suggest that people try it at home and see if it's something they'd enjoy...

Just my two-cents worth.

[Brian]

Welcome to you, Lorie.

I remember another cartoon where two ladies are looking at two men a distance away and one says, 'You know, he keeps dressing me with his eyes', which I thought was rather funny too.

Regards.

[Xen]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MaxUK:
A thoughtful and realistic crop of replies there I would say. The person in question is extremely unlikely to ever want to try 'au naturel' (I know her very well!!) and just can't even seem to understand what others find enjoyable about getting nude on a beach etc. She is a very smart, confident lady with no hang ups about anything much, from what I can tell - she's just not interested, which is her choice and so be it....

Max <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I've only ever managed to introduce a couple of people to nudism and one of them had exacty this view point. It was a guy and I realise that the issue may well be different for men and women but he was totally terified about being nude because while he is tall, good looking and turns heads clothed he does have a very small penis. This appeared to be complicated by the fact that he is gay - and hence a large penis is seen as a positive asset - and was not comfortable about being naked around women.

It took a lot of talking and I had to be honest and admit that people would look at his genitals but, by going to a busy nude beach there would be so many other gentials of all shapes and sizes on display that no one was likely to pay very much attention to any one individual's. While it is probably not very correct so say so he would also get to look at everyone elses.

He eventually did come along and I am happy to say did come back and while not as keen on naturism as me would now go to a nude beach in preference to a clothed one.

I suppose the moral of the story is be honest - Yes peole will look, But not that much as everyone is nude and you can always look back.

[untanned]

Genitals! There, we said it. Being nude means having the genitals revealed. Before we nudists can get the textiles to accept our choice, we have to acknowledge that these parts are not only as natural, wholesome and innocuous as any other part of the body, but also very important parts, more important than most others. They do, after all, define our identity as male or female.

I don't have a good physique, nor am I "well-endowed," but I don't mind if people in a clothing optional environment really take a look at my penis and buttocks. In fact, I feel less vulnerable standing at the edge of the pool nude than I would feel if I stood there in a pair of trunks. Why? I'm much less embarrassed by having people be aware of my sex than I would be by drawing attention to my big stomach and thick waistline bulging out over a swimsuit. (Some day I'll learn to accept all that about my body, but in the meantime, nudism lets me feel free, comfortable and innocent.)

There's nothing dirty about having genitals, just as there is nothing wrong with uncovering them while among other nudists, and there is certainly nothing wrong with seeing them, even on purpose! Guys, there is nothing to be ashamed or squeamish over.

[HRA2001]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MaxUK:
An interesting bar conversation I had a few months ago with a good friend went something like this:

Me: Well it wasn't the first time I have been to one (I had told her I had been to a CO beach during the summer and it was something I enjoyed)

Her: But what's so good about it?

Me: Well, most folk are naked and the sun and sea just feel great when you have nothing on, plus no one appears to feel embarrassed or self concious. It's a special feeling that can really only be experienced by actually doing it, not hearing about it.

Her: Yes but doesn't everybody look at everybody else because they are all naked?

Me: No more than on a 'normal' beach, where people spotting is a favourite pastime on beaches the world over. Of course people look, but as everyone is starkers, it doesn't matter.

Her: Well it would to me. On a 'normal' beach people look at a person, their clothes, swimwear, style, manner etc., same as when you people watch from a cafe or something. It seems to me on a nude beach people look at other people to check out what they are like when they are nude, thus focussing attention on to the parts normally covered up. Would I want a load of strange men ogling my bits in this way - no I would not.

I mostly enjoy it when people, men or women, look at me for what I am wearing or something I am doing. But if the focus of this looking is my naked body, specifically my genitals, then I would be very uncomfortable.

So - I tried to tell her that it wasn't like that but a small voice in my head kept saying, "well, yes it is actually, some of the time"

What would you have said?? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>"The first thing every woman does is check out my **** , while I am simultaneously looking her over. That last about 3 nanoseconds, after which we start talking about something else. We're both there because we are NUDISTS, not exhibitionists."