How to tell Girlfriend about nudism????????

[Nekkidhead001]

Hey Everyone!!!!

I am a long time member, but more of a reader of the forums than a poster. As you can see I only have 2 posts but I just created a new account because I was experiencing some problems with my old account.

Anyways, I am 23 years old and in college. I am now in a wonderful relationship with a great girl. I honestly think this is the one that I will marry.

I know there has been a million and one posts about this same topic, but i would like to hear from some people who has been through it. I want to tell my girlfriend that I enjoy being nude and hope that she will want to join me in nudist activities. We have a wonderful relationship and i know that she would not ever be mad or offended by this if i tell her so im not too worried about her reaction.

I just want some people to tell me from their own experiences how they went about telling a loved one. What was your approach? What were their reactions and etc? She seems to be comfortable with her body, and doesn't mind undressing in front of me. Plus I know she has been skinny dipping and we have joked about going sometme. Anyways let me know any tips or ideas from your own experience.

Thanks!!!!!:D

[blackrebel]

Wear no clothes as much as possible. Then if she can, let her see sites like this about nudism if she is warm to it.

Skinny dipping when you can especially if you can jump in with others.

My friend is not comfortable but I ease her into it step by step. She knows that I am, but not been asked to events except to let her know that it's coming up. Our events are C/O so she can participate if she wants.

I have had none of past GF react negatively. None wanted to participate, just let me go about my biz.

[Sacramento Jesse]

Hey Everyone!!!!

I am a long time member, but more of a reader of the forums than a poster. As you can see I only have 2 posts but I just created a new account because I was experiencing some problems with my old account.

Anyways, I am 23 years old and in college. I am now in a wonderful relationship with a great girl. I honestly think this is the one that I will marry.

I know there has been a million and one posts about this same topic, but i would like to hear from some people who has been through it. I want to tell my girlfriend that I enjoy being nude and hope that she will want to join me in nudist activities. We have a wonderful relationship and i know that she would not ever be mad or offended by this if i tell her so im not too worried about her reaction.

I just want some people to tell me from their own experiences how they went about telling a loved one. What was your approach? What were their reactions and etc? She seems to be comfortable with her body, and doesn't mind undressing in front of me. Plus I know she has been skinny dipping and we have joked about going sometme. Anyways let me know any tips or ideas from your own experience.

Thanks!!!!!:D

Some say it shouldn't matter, but how long have you two been together? I'm asking because whenever I told a female that I was involved with about how I like to be nude, I don't tell her right away because I rather have us get to know each other well enough first.

Anyways, the way I went about telling my ex-lady (or the way she found out) was every summer since '04 a few of my friends and I would go to a near by nude beach at a lake. My friends and I made plans to go one morning and my lady at the time called me to ask me what I was doing. I told her I was going to the lake with my friends and she got mad I didn't invite her. Right then is when I was honest with her; I told her we were going to a nude beach at the lake, it's something that my friends and I have done for the past few summers and if she like to go, she can come along with but she didn't have to get naked if she didn't want to. She told me to come by and pick her up, we went to the beach, she ended up going topless and said she had a lot of fun. I guess she seen it was something apart of my life and she wanted to be involved. At the time we were together for 6 months, so thats how long I waited before I told her about nudism.

Her reaction; she didn't think I was going to get naked at all and it surprised her that I did. She was shocked that there was an older nude gentlemen already there at the beach and I was sitting right next time to him talking comfortably about school and family. It took her a while to remove her top but you can't rush these sort of things. It was a small atmosphere of around 8 people (3 of them being clothed).

The lady I'm currently involved with, we've been seeing each other for 5 months now and I recently told her of my interest in nudism. I really don't remember how it was brought up but she is totally supportive. If it ever gets brought up talk about it in a serious manner and don't ever try to force her to do join. Show her it's fun to be nude.

[shaneone]

I used to be nude a lot at home around my wife when we started dating. I let her know from the start that I preferred to be nude whenever I could.
She never paid too much attention and found it normal behaviour for me. We went on vacation and on the second day at the beach I told her it might be nice to wander a 100 yards or so and we could get an all-over tan on the naturist side. This was when she realized I did prefer to be nude a lot. But, she agreed and enjoyed it. She has been only a few times since over recent years, but is ok with me going, or will come with me and just be topless.

So, just go for it, tell her, ask her to join in, she may surprize you

[benakkied]

I told my friend I enjoyed being nude and about skinnydipping, she told me that she enjoyed the pool at her parents home with her family nude. I asked her about visiting a beach in Toronto she said maybe . She was talking to her friend about the conversation . During that conversation her friend told her about sailing nudewith her male friend, the friend invited us to go sailing one thing led to another . We are looking for warmer weather to go to the resort . She liked the resortidea as it look like it was a nice place away from unwanted lookers.Both girls said they would just want to feel safe and out of sight of anyone that would see them and say anything .Her friend really surprised me . You do not ever know. Let your girl friend know by talking and make her comfortable if she agrees.

[Agde]

Just to preface that I grew up in a naturist family, am not a diehard nude-all-the-time naturist, and have lived in several countries that don't match your circumstances, but during college and grad school in the States, I had three experiences which might be topical.

One was during college with a girlfriend who enjoyed sports activities and one sunny day when she was beating me badly at tennis and I had worked up a monumental sweat, I remarked that I wished we were playing out at the sunclub so I could quickly jump in a shower to cool off! That started a conversation about "do people really play tennis naked?" ..."sure, and volleyball, and ping-pong, and swim...the body gets a chance to breathe..." Left it at that, and sure enough a couple days later she asked me if I felt like getting trounced at tennis again, this time near a shower. It was sort of the "integrate naturism naturally into activities" approach.

Another experience was in a new living-together situation. Coming out of the shower one morning, I asked if she minded if I "aired a bit" before getting dressed. We went through the usual breakfast routine and then I went and got ready for work. She started doing her morning makeup etc routine with less and less clothing and finally without. Eventually we'd throw off work clothes and enjoy some "air time" before changing for the evening. By summertime, going nude at the beach was just another incremental step. Of course I had the advantage of being able to explain this was just the way I was brought up, but I think what she picked up on was the casualness that allowed her to be like she would be if not living with someone. Sort of the "build naturism gently into the routine" approach.

The third case was with a college girlfriend who grew up in a family where she literally was clothed every second that she wasn't bathing. I figured an incremental approach would take a century and summer was just around the corner. So I made reservations at an elegant outdoor cafe and practiced a speech in my head that started out with "I need to talk to you about something because otherwise we need to go shopping for a comfortable swimsuit for me..." I didn't get too far into the speech when she started asking questions and I relaxed. Long story short, we decided to find ways we both could be ourselves and sometimes dip into each other's worlds. For example, we found a clothing-optional beach that we both liked, and we had fun negotiating trades -- she watched TV soccer with me and I watched cooking with her, her first visit to the sunclub was in exchange for me doing a ballroom dancing class with her. Turned out we both had fun! Sort of the "be, let be, and explore" approach.

[Nekkidhead001]

thanks everyone for your help!!!

[Qikdraw]

Have you told her yet? How did it go?

Qikdraw

[Peter B]

I lived in China for 8 years and during that time, in the first year, I got to know and love a chinese woman. I was then 58 , she was35, divorced with a son.
My lifestyle, being naked in that hot summer climate, was utterly foreign to her,but since I showed no embarrasment about being naked in summer inside the flat, it was accepted, partially since "laowai" were crazy anyway.

It created a few akward moments, me being naked and the rest of the family and a few friends, sweating in the summer heat, sitting around the table and me waltzing in, in uniform.

Now here, after a few years in NZ, she no longer has any trouble in going to the nude swimmming nights in the heated pool of the hospital, or going to sleep naked.

From your side, you must show that nudity has a non sexual side at most times and is dictated by need and comfort.
Being naked is simply a matter of circumstance; the beach, the pool. the hot tub, the warm room.

[Pizzaguy]

For me, it was easy to tell 'her'. My story is weird and unusual - just like everything else about me.

I am 48, she is 56. WE'v been friends since 1992, her husband left her for a younger woman in 2000. I'v had a thing for her forever, but only told her 8 days ago, when she came to visit (she's 700 miles from me) last week.

Actually, I told her a LOT of stuff that day. I first told her that I like nudity around the house, and that I had tried nude hiking. She told me I was FULL of surprises. I told her I had another for her.

I told her that I knew her so well, and thought so much of her, that I"d marry her tomorrow if she'd stay here in Georgia. She did go home in 2 days, but we talk every night and are 'working' on the implications of what I said.

Turns out, she's kinda got a thing for me!

Now remember, she's a life long church going Presbyterian, she won't have sex outside of marriage (she stayed in my guest room, even after some romantic days together), and has NEVER had sex outside of marriage!!!!

I told her that nudity is not nessesarily sexual, and that I really liked being outdoors and nude in nature. She has actually said that my 'thing' for nudity will not influence her about a relationship with me! She even said that, "If it's really like you say, and these people aren't all swingers, I might someday join you at a resort"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

Yea, I can hardly believe it, either.

Ya never know. But then, we'v known each other for 14 years and have developed a respect and friendship that goes very deep. We trust each other greatly.

Just my wierd two cents. I have always known there is no one like Helen on this earth. I'v known for a few years that I loved her, I guess it was time to tell her.

I can't believe she responded warmly, after all I'v told her!

[DoctorSurferDude]

You could start with a casual ice breaker like.... "So I'm thinking of becoming a nudist, because the more I ponder it the more I think clothes generally just suck"

Then if you smile she'll be curious and won't know if you're kidding or not....and you'll have time to state your case while she figures it out. Make it a light-hearted debate. Unless she agrees with you, in which case you got the answer you wanted ;)

[Agde]

I can't believe she responded warmly, after all I'v told her!
Pizzaguy, I was just thinking, now that you've blurted it all out, you've really got a unique opportunity to enjoy translating word into action. For one thing, you've put naturism in the context of all the other "surprises" so it can be just one part of a balance of things. For another thing, she has made it clear that sex is a separate activity, so any time you are nude, it is clearly just a non-sexual clothing choice. She can join in if she feels like it, without worrying that it signals anything more than showing she can relax around you. Pretty cool. No posturing or confusion. You're both free to be just open and normal. Sounds like a special time.

[Pizzaguy]

For one thing, you've put naturism in the context of all the other "surprises" so it can be just one part of a balance of things. For another thing, she has made it clear that sex is a separate activity, so any time you are nude, it is clearly just a non-sexual clothing choice. She can join in if she feels like it, without worrying that it signals anything more than showing she can relax around you. Pretty cool. No posturing or confusion. You're both free to be just open and normal. Sounds like a special time.

WOW! I didn't think of that. Should have, but glossed right over it....

But you know, before we left the "knob" where I told her this, I remember she DID make a comment about nude hiking; "... well, not sure I'm ready to join you on one of THOSE hikes yet... "

I had made it clear that the nude hiking was not about sex at all, and explained that we don't really think about nudity in the USA outside of a massage, bath or sex. She DID say that my remark about "the three things we do nude" did get her to thinking.

[Qikdraw]

Wow! That is a lot to take in during a visit, but its great that she was open to hearing what you had to say. I hope things go well for you.

Qikdraw

[eagle59]

The honest way is always the best way. If you are serious about this girl then you don't want to be "hiding" things from her, that is not the best way to start a relationship. If you enjoy being a nudist and you participate in nudist activities then you owe it to her to let her know about that part of your life. By not telling her you are not giving her the chance to accept you for who you are. By letting her "find out" you are risking the chance that she will feel cheated or that you wouldn't tell her about this because it something that you are ashamed of. Many people feel that nudism=sex and are uninformed about what "goes on" at nudist activities. By coming clean and telling her you are afforded the oppertunity to discuss the matter and explain your veiwpoint in a calm and rational way. I believe that you should let her know, she will appreciate it and she may just surpise you and join in.

[Fitz1980]

I don't know where you live but if there is a nudist resort or a nude beach around you could just find out when they are having an event and ask her if she would be interesting in going. If you're somewhere near a nude beach it could be easier to ask her if she wants to go to the clothing optional beach. Perhaps you don't even need to mention the word nudist, just say that you'd like to check out the nude beach, and that it's clothing optional so she doesn't have to remove anything that she doesn't want to.

[nacktman]

It is simple - just tell them.
Present them with the concept(s) of nudism and most will be open to finding out about nudism.
Now, as to them adopting the concept(s) in just the acceptance of the concept(s) realm or adopting them as a method of living is a horse of a different color.
They might reject the concept(s) of nudism after learning of them - contrary to widespread thought it is actually a very small minority who reject the concept(s) out of hand before learning about them.

If you are a adherent of the concepts of nudism as a method of living it would behoove you to tell them rather quickly. While most (practically all), have little to no 'problem' seeing or being around their current partner nude when alone, seeing or being around others with their current partner nude may be problematic.

Then again maybe not, but you will never know without telling them first, now will you?!

[naturalandfree]

i am going thru a divorce as i write this and over the past weekend i met a nice woman 45 i'm 51 and by the time the sunday night rolled around we could tell that we are very interested in each other and not wanting to hide anything from her last night while talking to her on the phone i just said you might as well know up front that i'm a nudist, after the first shock of it she started asking me questions about it. i answered her with comlpete honesty
even found out that she has been sleeping nude for many years but that was as far as her experence had gone ...as a result of me being honest and up front early on we are now planning our first nude outing in the near future
her reaction was 1st shock then couriousity , now excitement

my point is be honest : you might be the one suprised

[roid3551]

I just went through this one week ago with my girlfriend. She knew i was comfortable with my body and being naked. I had told her once about a local beach i knew about and went too and she just kind of said ok. well about a week ago, we were talking about secrets and i told her im a nudist and i have a local club i go too. she completely understood and will be going with me next summer.

[Naturist Zoar]

After years of presenting myself in a less than honest way to my many love interests, a more mature me decided upfront honesty was the the real way to forge ahead so , I shared my love for natural freedom/naturism on the first date and sure enough 12 months later we were married.
and that was 19 years ago. still married and still nude as often as I can be.

[NJNude1965]

Each person is different male or female. I have always tried to make the person comfortable around me first then introduce others.

Most find that people are just as nice in the nude as with clothes on. Meaning if you are a nice person you are going to be nice with or without clothes.

I hope this turned out for the best.

[Centauri4]

Hey, I want to add I think a couple of these posts are VERY helpful in providing insight into the variety of situations people are likely to encounter in their "nudist lives".

Oddly enough I cannot add a story about telling a girlfriend about nudism because I do not think I really told my wife about it very much during the three years ('97-'00) we dated. I know that I mentioned it but I did not invite her to join me, pressure her to understand me, or otherwise make a big deal out of it. So, one thing I think I did learn from this is you MUST be patient and not make nudism so outstandingly special in your existence that personal relationships suffer or are sacrificed because of it. Someone wrote about an "integrative" approach to nudism in life or in their relationship, and I think those are some very wise words.

Almost 10 years to the day after we met my wife went with me to her first nudist event and she really, really had a good time. I think it was mostly the complete opposite of what she expected and this was surprising to her. As an person with significant self-esteem issues and body phobia (essentially), I think it was an amazing honor to witness her test the limits of her own personal envelope on my behalf (our behalf) and come to the realization it was fun, enjoyable and something she could do.

I love it when life allows me to experience something for the first time and my second greatest pleasure in life is seeing someone else "discover" something or accomplish a goal in their life. We have to rejoice in these little moments and (sometimes learn to) appreciate them!

Enjoy living, life is short...

~

[bernardc]

When i met my wife,we had been visiting all over.Then when things got serious,we went camping out for a weekend.I prepared for bed,and I sleep in the nude,and just undressed.The next morning,woke up,she was sleeping in another room,I went and made cofee,and served her in bed,while I was naked.I proceeded to make breakfast,still in the nude.I served her in bed.The whole day,it was rainy,I stayed nude,and at midday started a fire for a barbecue,still naked.I luckily/unluckily developed an erection due to the heat of the fire,and she came out and saw it.I just joked a bit about it,and returned to the fire and meat.At the fire,I told her that I was a nudist/naturist and hated clothes.She was and is from a very discreet family.At first she was uneasy with it,but I persevered,and found her throwing occasional glances at my genitals.It was all new to her,and shed never seen someone so "blatently" naked before.All you do,is carry on normal,and just be yourself.The moral of my story?I am who I am,and love who I am,and have nothing to be shy about.Some are much more endowed than me,but I dont mind.I am who I am.I respect who I am,and because I respect others,I am free to be what and who I am.Naked,and barefoot.I am a male,and have a penis,so,whats so different about it?Other males are the same,and whether naked or clothed,I am still the same person.Its best to be open and honest about it.

[Nekkidhead001]

When i met my wife,we had been visiting all over.Then when things got serious,we went camping out for a weekend.I prepared for bed,and I sleep in the nude,and just undressed.The next morning,woke up,she was sleeping in another room,I went and made cofee,and served her in bed,while I was naked.I proceeded to make breakfast,still in the nude.I served her in bed.The whole day,it was rainy,I stayed nude,and at midday started a fire for a barbecue,still naked.I luckily/unluckily developed an erection due to the heat of the fire,and she came out and saw it.I just joked a bit about it,and returned to the fire and meat.At the fire,I told her that I was a nudist/naturist and hated clothes.She was and is from a very discreet family.At first she was uneasy with it,but I persevered,and found her throwing occasional glances at my genitals.It was all new to her,and shed never seen someone so "blatently" naked before.All you do,is carry on normal,and just be yourself.The moral of my story?I am who I am,and love who I am,and have nothing to be shy about.Some are much more endowed than me,but I dont mind.I am who I am.I respect who I am,and because I respect others,I am free to be what and who I am.Naked,and barefoot.I am a male,and have a penis,so,whats so different about it?Other males are the same,and whether naked or clothed,I am still the same person.Its best to be open and honest about it.


Great story! I honestly have not told her yet. i just keep chickening out i guess you could say. i don't get on here very much so i have just now read some of these posts. but everything i read is incouraging to me and gives me more motivation to tell her.

[bernardc]

I think the main problem with nudists innitially becomming nudists,is a body issue.I think they are to shy to tell others that they are nudists.From childhood days,many people are programmed that the genitals are disgusting and shamefull,and one is immoral when one is naked.Many new nudists struggle with the concept of morality,whether being a nudist is immoral.I have a saying...I am a nudist,not an immoralist.Nude is no shame!Nude is beautifull.Many issues we struggle with can be overcome,when we realise,my body is a body,just like any other.The best outfit to wear,is your naked skin.
Recently i was busy making a logo for my religious group called "Nudist Christian Felowship".I am at theological seminary currently,studying to be a 'reverend' in a culture that is still very immoral-concious when it comes to nudity.Just mention the word "nude/nudist" and you hear the dissaproval.I just told them,that is who i am,and I found out later,that another bloke in our class is also a nudist,but wouldnt dare tell anybody,he is from a line of revereds,father,grand father,great-great g/father and brothers,yet he spends free time naked in the hills at his home.
Like any other person,we have a right to be who we are and how we choose to be us.If you are a nudist,dont be shy,be proud.Tell others,you m,ight create a fellowship of nudists.If they see we are not shy,then it will give us respect.In South Africa,we have a barefoot culture,and its normal...so whats so different about a penis or vagina...its as much part of our body as is bare feet,and we arnt ashamed of going around barefoot,so why be ashamed to go around naked...or tell people you are a nudist?I am not shy for being a barefooter,neither am I shy for being a barepenisser.

[Agde]

...I am at theological seminary currently,studying to be a 'reverend' in a culture that is still very immoral-concious when it comes to nudity.Just mention the word "nude/nudist" and you hear the dissaproval.I just told them,that is who i am,and I found out later,that another bloke in our class is also a nudist,but wouldnt dare tell anybody,he is from a line of revereds,father,grand father,great-great g/father and brothers,yet he spends free time naked in the hills at his home... why be ashamed to go around naked...or tell people you are a nudist?
My father and grandfather were also both "reverends" and, as discussed elsewhere in this forum, there are many ways naturism fits well with Christianity, whether it is "getting back to the Garden" (discarding shame and spurning temptation), living gracefully and naturally as God intended, treating others as ourselves, etc. Back on topic, if you are religiously oriented, it makes it even easier to explain naturism to "reluctant" spouses, partners and others. Naturism becomes, not a backdoor to debauchery as others might worry, but rather an expression of a quest for purity and natural goodness. Not hiding being naturist reinforces this message and allows non-naturists to reassess their suspicions and sense the joyfully angelic motivation of your clothes-free time. :angel:

[Ita3rd]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and she is aware of the fact that I prefer to be nude when possible. However, I don't use the word nudist to describe myself because that's a term that can scare people if you're not careful. She accepts that fact fairly readily now and I think it's because I spent a long period of time interjecting nudist commentary on related subject matter. She has no problem with the fact that I'm usually nude when I'm by myself and I think she's gradually becoming more comfortable with her own naked body. If you want to tell your girlfriend just build it up over time and she'll hopefully come to accept it as a part of you.