My son has rejected nudism

[HaroldTheNudist]

well you try to raise kids right but I guess sometimes you fail.

my son is going to a camp this week, and there are open showers.

instead of getting naked with others, he is bringing along a pair of swim trunks to take showers in so he isnt seen.

he wants absolutely nothing to do with nudism or being naked.

Harry

[luvnaturism]

How old is your son? There was a time when I might have done the same.

But you never know. If others are showering nude, he may decide to just fit in.

[HaroldTheNudist]

hes a teenager.

no, I dont believe he is gonna get nude with the other kids.

frankly I doubt any of the other kids will get naked as well.

I suppose I cant blame him. when I was young, in school if they had showers I would prefer to miss the class and fail then get naked in front of my school mates.

I go to the gym and see NO ONE naked (not that I really look). guys dont turn me on. but no one is naked there.

Harry

[walter05]

I think you have contributed to your children’s views.

There is a topic known as “Does Being A Nudist Split Families.
Post #31 is from you and you wrote, “well, my wife left me and my teenage children don't come around. My wife did not appreciate me talking to her boss about nudism and advocating the work place become clothing optional. Also, my insistance that our home be nude only was too much for her. Alas the problems related to body acceptance.”

There was then the usual give and take, and on Post #46, you wrote, “you seem to think my wife and children are the most important things to me. Nudism is.”

I am not saying that what you are saying about teens is entirely wrong. However, to your son and children, you chose nudism over them. That would tend to build a lot of resentment at nudism.

I can imagine that your son is afraid that if he were to shower nude, he may like it and enjoy the body acceptance. He does not want that to happen because your being into nudism destroyed his home and family.

I therefore think that the biggest problem is not your children’s views on nudism and body acceptance. It is your lack of a true love for your children that out weighs your being into nudism.

I am not saying these things to be cruel. I believe that you really want your children to have healthy body images. I am saying these things with the hope you will take some quiet time and attempt to come up with a strategy to reverse their views.

[walter05]

I think you have contributed to your children’s views.

There is a topic known as Does Being A Nudist Split Families. Post #31 is from you and you wrote, “well, my wife left me and my teenage children don't come around. My wife did not appreciate me talking to her boss about nudism and advocating the work place become clothing optional. Also, my insistance that our home be nude only was too much for her. Alas the problems related to body acceptance.”

There was then the usual give and take, and on Post #46, you wrote, "you seem to think my wife and children are the most important things to me. Nudism is.”

I am not saying that what you are saying about teens is entirely wrong. However, to your son and children, you chose nudism over them. That would tend to build a lot of resentment at nudism.

I can imagine that your son is afraid that if he were to shower nude, he may like it and enjoy the body acceptance. He does not want that to happen because your being into nudism destroyed his home and family.

I therefore think that the biggest problem is not your children’s views on nudism and body acceptance. It is your lack of a true love for your children that out weighs your being into nudism.

I am not saying these things to be cruel. I believe that you really want your children to have healthy body images. I am saying these things with the hope you will take some quiet time and attempt to come up with a strategy to reverse their views.

[HaroldTheNudist]

Walt

you might be right.

my son does not live with me anymore.

as I think about this topic (kids showering naked) I am not sure I agree with it.

Its been a lot of years since I was a teenager, but I know that kids can be cruel, and that cruelty could extend to describing to others like girls descriptions of genitals.

it seems to me gang showers are a thing of the past now. when I get a moment I will talk to my son to see how many kids actually got naked with their peers, but I think given the social climate we live in it will be about none.

Harry

[walter05]

I go to a place with my sons for swimming. There are open showers. (I don't like the term "gang showers").

There is usually a crowd. There are boys from six up to men in their eighties. All shower together, change together, and no one says anything.

My wife and I talked about this over the weekend. She thinks in the internet age when people develop relationships without meeting real flesh and blood people, this is even more beneficial. I think she may be right.

Perhaps you can arrange for your son to be in such a setting with non-nudists. He will realize this is normal.

[scubare]

Sounds like some pretty good advice Walter. Good luck to you and your son, Harold.

[RichNH]

Walt
when I get a moment I will talk to my son to see how many kids actually got naked with their peers, but I think given the social climate we live in it will be about none.

Harry


Harry, Just a thought on my part, but don't you think that perhaps, given the relationship you have with the rest of the family, the last thing you should be discussing with your son is whether or not the other kids were nude?

I mean it really sounds like the prime thrust of any discussion between you and the rest of the family right now should be to rebuild bridges, not bring up the same old topic which destroyed the original bridges.

If I was you I'd steer clear of any mention of nudism at all. Live your life, and let them live theirs. The subject should be taboo in your mind when talking to your family.

Rich

[walter05]

RuchNH gave the best advice. I wish I had thought of his advise. I would follow his advice.

[Stu2630]

Harry

He's tried it - decided it's not for him - let him be.

Nudism is a specialist interest and isn't everybody's cup of tea.

Stu

[EricNY]

Stu,

Although I can not argue with you, what you are saying is not 100 % accurate. Many kids go through this as a phase, especially during puberty.

Additionally I personally know of many kids whose preference is nude, but are influenced by other kids that choose to be clothed. It is a basic I want to be nude, but not the only one. I have experienced this peer pressure many times.

[walter05]

Even you can read the earlier posts and realize that there are other variables in this case.

[HaroldTheNudist]

Rich

thank you. I will follow your advice.

Walter

thank you for your input.

Stu2630

you may be right as well. you know this is wierd, but at the swimming pool I go to, I do not rinse off naked in front of others. I am not sure why. I guess it might be some wanton fear of being seen naked by other guys perhaps related in my subconcious to my school days.

Harry

[Stu2630]

Harry

ercNY says that he has "personally know of many kids whose preference is nude, but are influenced by other kids that choose to be clothed". It is true that peer pressure can have a profound impact on young people. All you can do is make him aware that the nudist lifestyle is one that he is free to adopt or reject, and that he can change his mind in either direction whenever he wants.

Walter

Even you can read the earlier posts and realize that there are other variables in this case.

Yes, I was aware of this - but his son is where he is. I'm simply telling Harry to allow his son to take which ever route he is most comfortable with. If his son wishes to return to naturism at some time in future, he is free to do so. If he doesn't - so what? Trust me - it's not so bad being a textile.

Stu

[SpiderThug]

I don't know if you tried to force your children into nudism or not, Harald so I cannot comment on that.

With my four youngster, it is really up to them if they are naked or not. Most of the time they are except for the youngest. He is only 3 and has this thing about having to have his penis covered. Because we let him decide, he has started to join in with his sisters in being naked. Especially when they go outside to play in the rain naked.

[MoonShadow]

Yes, I understand why Harold's son may not be interested in nudism when Harold has even stated that nudism was first and foremost rather than his children and wife. Then proceeded to state he forced a rule that only nudism is allowed in his household (plus, other statements he has made). Now his children are estranged. Not difficult to understand.

Harold should leave his son along regarding nudism as there are issues occurring here that have been determined previously in his son's mind. Instead, Harold and his son should work on their father/son relationship WITHOUT any references to nudism. A solid, open, and genuine caring and loving relationship with one's offspring takes precedent over anyone's desire for nudism. Nudism is minor in situations where relationships are strained.

Harold and son need to regroup and begin to work with each other in establishing their father/son rapport. To force anything else will continue to alienate his son.

My heart goes out to Harold's son as "losing" a father due to attitudes or lifestyles is very sad.

[enertronik]

RuchNH gave the best advice. I wish I had thought of his advise. I would follow his advice.


I second that. That is likely the best thing you could do and it should start now

[blackbare6]

Harold;
Dont worry so much about your kids. Teenaged boys in particular have a HARD time of it, if you catch my drift. So did my son. I never forced my kids to be nude, but was ALWAYS nude myself at home. I'm divorced now and live in a nudist camp full time, and all my kids have visited me here. Two of the three have no problem getting nude, and there's still hope for the third. They're older now and have passed that awkward stage of their lives. So give it time. Your son will probably come around if you accept him as he is.
Henry

[Matt King]

I went thru puberty way early and was so embrassed by being different from my friends. In 5th grade at camp I avoided the showers like the plague. I had hair where the didnt and I sure wasnt going to let them see it and point and laugh. The thought of anyone seeing me naked was embrassment beyond belief for me at that time.

[sos_4_love]

no child by itself produces fear of nudism. there got to be reasons being family or friends that provoked this shyness.

but now that the situation is there i think putting on pressure is the worst you can do - especially regarding the fact that he is undergoing puberty.

[Pumpkinpie]

There's and old saying you make the kids but you didn't make their minds the more you push him he will decline give him time let him choose his own path you will be surprise of the out come later on.

[Noodlebug]

Kids are individuals and will do their own thing, there is no point in fathers trying to shape them in their own image.

I was very prudish as a child, I wore swimming trunks in the bath even when the door was locked! Then in the first PE lesson at high school, they made us all shower together, it clearly wasn't optional so I didn't try to fight it, regardless of my apprehension. And I think that's probably when I first realised that being naked really ain't so bad!

I don't ever recall anyone being bullied, teased, or singled out in the showers - plenty of other times but not in the showers (this was UK in the 80's), as I recall everyone was equally vulnerable and just as keen to get in and out as quickly as possible. The enforcement got lax after a few months and practically everyone stopped taking showers, there were several weeks where I was the only one - not because of any new-found love of nudity, I was just one of those kids who did what the teachers told him.

So does that mean that kids are crueller nowadays than they used to be? Or just that public showering has become such a rare feature of most people's lives that their fear of it far outweighs the rather mundane reality?

[nudenwv]

i think after he matures some and realizes we do not judge by how a body looks but what is on the inside that counts he may take a try at it. our daughter didn't want to see dad nude at age 27. she still feels that way and has never mentioned wanting to try the lifestyle. my wife is the same feeling that her weight problem is an issue. wait and see how he does later on. taking him on some nude outings may help.

[NudeAl]

Kids go through phases. Most of them get a bit shy going through puberty. However they often come back to it on thir own after they experience more of life.

Give the kid his space he needs to figure this out for himself. I think if there were other kids his own age that were nudists or were from nudist homes then he would be more inclined to want to paricipate. Being exposed to more and more nudists will generate the idea that this is normal. That is why I believe it is so important to keep bringing your kids as long as they are willing to come. Other kids reassure them that this is a good thing to be involved in.

[bgnaked]

I don't ever recall anyone being bullied, teased, or singled out in the showers - ....The enforcement got lax after a few months and practically everyone stopped taking showers, there were several weeks where I was the only one - not because of any new-found love of nudity, I was just one of those kids who did what the teachers told him.

Somewhat different story here in the USA... first off when I went to school in 5th grade everyone took showers since we were with the 3rd and 4th graders as well. When we got into 6th grade, we ended up with some of the 5th grade and also the 6th grade... everyone stopped taking showers. shyness mostly.

So basically it wasn't until we showered as 7th and 8th grade that a select few of us started to take showers again. I was definitely one of those few (even though I never really "smelled" and still don't) just because of it feeling "right" to be able to get naked and take a shower after exercising... I mean, why not right? It was weird though since the showers were practically deserted... versus almost everyone in 5th grade taking a shower, it was packed. nobody was really shy either, people would fling soap at each-other and get in fights. (without touching of course.. we never went there)

this was only about 10 years ago as well. (I'm 20)

[GWR 14XX Oliver]

Well with me i have always being nude and im 17 right now but i was born nude and stay that way i have never been shy or scared of it

[David77]

I suppose that everyone in military service participate in gang showers, as I have never heard of, or did any, private showering.

[NudeAl]

I suppose that everyone in military service participate in gang showers, as I have never heard of, or did any, private showering.

That used to be the case but the military is a reflection of the society it comes from. Now in most modern military facilities that are used there are private shower stalls and older facilities are being retro fitted for private showers. The only places I know of that still employ the goup shower are in basic training facilities and then only some like the Marines. I will defer to the others here but I think they no longer employ large group showers in most of the other services.

We are becoming a society that is afraid of it's own skin.