How I convinced my wife to give naturism a try

[S&S]

Hello everyone,

I am a 21 year-old newly-married male. Two years ago when my wife and I were dating, I revealed to her my regular practice of home nudity and my desire to visit a nudist club. She didn't understand why anyone would want to do this at first and was very reluctant to even talk about it, but after months of discussion and thought, she agreed to give it an honest try. It turned out she really enjoyed our first visit - we went back several times that summer.

Some things I learned during this process were:

Be patient. I understood quickly that this was a sudden and overwhelming piece of information for her, so I knew I had to be patient with how much I revealed at once, and how much I asked of her at once.
Give her control. I promised her that if she was really uncomfortable while at the club, we would get alone and talk, and leave if necessary. I think knowing she had a "way out" helped her feel more at ease.
Listen. Spend as much time listening to her as you do talking to her. Repeat her concerns and fears back to her in a way that lets her know you understand. Do not make fun of or downplay her feelings.
Clearly explain your intentions. Let her know explicitly what is is about naturism that you love, and why you would love for her to join you in it.
Be prepared to give it up. I told my wife two years ago, "If, after an honesty try at naturism, it's truly not something you want to do, I will give it up and never mention it again." That was huge for her I think: it let her know she was more important to me than naturism, that her feelings were more important than my desires.


Finally, here are some "Baby Steps" to ease your partner into viewing simple nudity as fun and relaxing:

Spend time nude at home together. If you shower together, suggest not getting dressed right away if you have nowhere to go. Suggest a nude picnic dinner on the living room floor. If you are sexually active, look for ways to spend time nude together that don't (always) lead to sex.
Suggest going skinny dipping. If you have a pool or hot tub, try going nude. You can even get in clothed and undress under water. Try to keep it fun and non-sexual. You could even try doing this in a group setting with close friends. You'd be surprised how willing close friends are to trying something like this!
Suggest visiting a nudist club only after she is totally comfortable with simple nudity. When you get there, don't go right in the middle of the crowd. Tour the grounds, hike the nature trail if they have one. If you are a man trying to convince your female partner to join you in social nudity, take the lead by introducing yourself and her to someone you meet at a club. Act natural and wear a smile. Keep the mood light.


If anyone would like any more advice feel free to PM me. I figure I must have done something right! :laugh:

~S&S

[luvnaturism]

Congratulations. You are wise beyond your years. Lots of folks old enough to be your parents or grandparents still haven't figured this stuff out.

I especially applaud your point "Be prepared to give it up." The necessary step to giving people freedom to say yes is to first allow them to say no and make it stick.

Good for you.

[nuovonudo]

congratulations, S! and thanks for sharing this encouraging word.

while i am not married yet, i am looking, praying, and waiting (and waiting, and waiting...). one of my concerns has been that, if my future bride were not already a naturist, that she would not only tolerate but eventually embrace naturism. you've given some great suggestions on how to help that happen.

have you ever thought about teaching? you seem to have a gift in that area.

[wmichnudists]

Good post S&S and fellow West Michigander. My wifes biggest fear is running into somebody she knows. Last year was our first experience and it was at a nude beach in Toronto in which she loved it. Your post is dead on. Thanks!!

[luvnaturism]

Be prepared to give it up. I told my wife two years ago, "If, after an honesty try at naturism, it's truly not something you want to do, I will give it up and never mention it again."


~S&S

I just reread this excellent post, and found one point of disagreement that I missed the first time through.

It's not wise to promise that a topic will never be brought up again. Whether the subject is naturism or anything else, you may find that the topic becomes more and more important to you as time goes on. Some subjects (hopefully not naturism) can become marriage breakers. What if you've promised at the beginning never to bring it up again?

Much better to say, "After you've given naturism an honest try, if it's not for you I promise to drop it. After a while we can discuss it again, when perhaps both of us will see it differently."

In a marriage there really shouldn't be any topic that is forever closed or off limits. Whatever either party needs to talk about should be accessible.

[Sigmund]

"My wifes biggest fear is running into somebody she knows."

That seems to be acommen concern but, when you think about it, is rather a silly one.

[Boreas]

Great post S&S. I agree it is very wise. I am also glad you stressed the idea that naturism is fun and non-sexual. We women often believe that men ALWAYS have sex as an ulterior motive. You'll get further if you show that you can do things that don't always involve sex. ;)

[S&S]

Much better to say, "After you've given naturism an honest try, if it's not for you I promise to drop it. After a while we can discuss it again, when perhaps both of us will see it differently."This is actually what I meant to say. I agree: the lines of communication should never be closed.

[Joontiki]

Congratulations. You are wise beyond your years. Lots of folks old enough to be your parents or grandparents still haven't figured this stuff out.

I especially applaud your point "Be prepared to give it up." The necessary step to giving people freedom to say yes is to first allow them to say no and make it stick. Good for you.
I agree! You've made some excellent points of good communication! Awesome job!

BUT, that said, i totally disagree with luvnaturism & that one point. "Be prepared to give it up", in my opinion, should NOT be on the table. At all! It's wrong to force someone to do something, but it's also wrong to be forced to stop doing something that you love & is a part of you!

If she doesn't want to do it, that's perfectly within her rights to be who she is. I wouldn't want the lines of communication to be cut off at that point, but you seem to have changed that aspect of it, so that's good. But giving naturism up? Absolutely not. It would be forcing you to change who YOU are! You are each your own person. And if you plan to stay together, you have to respect each other's choices! It's not just a one way street!

And down the road, after being forced to give up this part of you, i guarantee that resentment will eventually begin to creep in, however small (or large) it may be. Maybe not, if you're lucky - everyone's different - but it's a pretty high chance! Of course when you're young & in love, you probably couldn't even fathom resenting your wonderful spouse...

Of course, if naturism is not that important to you, and you honestly don't care if you gave it up, then by all means, use that statement. But if it truly is an important part of YOU, then I just wanted you to beware, that's all.

Just my opinion! Again, with the rest of the points... awesome job! :-)

[S&S]

Of course, if naturism is not that important to you, and you honestly don't care if you gave it up, then by all means, use that statement. But if it truly is an important part of YOU, then I just wanted you to beware, that's all.
At that point in my life (two years ago), it was something I could just give up. But now, it's more important to me. I could still do it, and it would be hard to do, but she is more important to me.

I totally agree about the resentment thing. Unfortunately I've seen that quite often. I guess the best one could do in a situation where one's spouse would have nothing to do with naturism, if you can't work out a compromise, is to direct your energies into loving him or her even more and fighting HARD not to resent them over it.

[DenitaLC]

Good post S&S and fellow West Michigander. My wifes biggest fear is running into somebody she knows. Last year was our first experience and it was at a nude beach in Toronto in which she loved it. Your post is dead on. Thanks!!


Think about it: If you run into someone you know at a nudist venue, they "should" be nude too, right? Instead of being embarrassed by this, it should be more of a bonding experience! I found a coworker that like to go nude at the beach, etc....now he and I can relate on a subject that the rest of our coworks "don't get"....it's great! :D

[Amber1986]

Great post S&S. We women often believe that men ALWAYS have sex as an ulterior motive.



That is very true and it is very hard for us to get past that mindset.

[Sanslines]

Great post S&S. I agree it is very wise. I am also glad you stressed the idea that naturism is fun and non-sexual. We women often believe that men ALWAYS have sex as an ulterior motive. You'll get further if you show that you can do things that don't always involve sex. ;)

Boreas,

I must know a group of very different women. Yes women are raised to believe that men ALWAYS have sex as an ulterior motive. However, when a man has NO interest in sex as an ulterior motive, then the women become even more worried as they start to wonder 1) what is wrong with this man who has no interest in sex 2) what is wrong with me in that this man is not attractive enough to me to be interested in sex.

It is like the woman who claims that she can't meet a nice and decent man. Her history is of meeting one looser after another and yet when a nice and decent man crosses paths with her, she has no interest. Go figure!

You should read about wingwomen in San Diego. Men are so stressed out about meeting women to the point where they use a special 'wingwoman' service to hire women to accompany them to bars (and other places) and introduce them to women that they might be interested in meeting. Women are always suspicious of men but they do let their guard down when other women approach them. Hence why this service is such a smash hit!

[Pete Knight]

It is like the woman who claims that she can't meet a nice and decent man. Her history is of meeting one looser after another and yet when a nice and decent man crosses paths with her, she has no interest. Go figure!
Tell me about it, I'm one of those hard working honest guys that gets walked all over, I worked with a drop dead gorgeous girl who can't get a man, she dates the good looking charming rat who dumps her when she doesn't give him what he wants, but she won't look at the dependable guy who works hard, I did explain this to her, she was terribly embarrassed to admit that she is of good virtue and doesn't screw on a first date (Second, third, forth or fifth for that matter.) and couldn't understand why these guys wouldn't call her after a couple of dates. She even dated a guy that was 'separated' but didn't take her back to his place or give her his home number, now I know why but she was at a loss to understand.



You should read about wingwomen in San Diego. Men are so stressed out about meeting women to the point where they use a special 'wingwoman' service to hire women to accompany them to bars (and other places) and introduce them to women that they might be interested in meeting. Women are always suspicious of men but they do let their guard down when other women approach them. Hence why this service is such a smash hit!
Now thats a service I could do with, what a brilliant concept.

Pete Knight

[Sanslines]

Tell me about it, I'm one of those hard working honest guys that gets walked all over, I worked with a drop dead gorgeous girl who can't get a man, she dates the good looking charming rat who dumps her when she doesn't give him what he wants, but she won't look at the dependable guy who works hard, I did explain this to her, she was terribly embarrassed to admit that she is of good virtue and doesn't screw on a first date (Second, third, forth or fifth for that matter.) and couldn't understand why these guys wouldn't call her after a couple of dates. She even dated a guy that was 'separated' but didn't take her back to his place or give her his home number, now I know why but she was at a loss to understand.

She probably doesn't go out with the decent guy because he is too honest. Dating is a very complicated situation in that when guys are totally honest, some women dump them fast because they are too 'boring'. These types of women would rather go with the 'fast' guys who offer excitement (and a whole bunch of lies to go with it). When I was at the gym earlier today, I was watching one of these silly dating shows on tv while running on the treadmill. It was a ridiculous show in that there was this 'hunk' who had to decide from two women which one to date. The women didn't know this but the guy had a secret ear piece and microphone. He had a software guru friend inside a nearby van with the logo "Kiss My Grass - Lawn and Garden Service" painted on the side of it. Inside the van were a bunch of computers that were loaded with voice analysis software that could analyze the women's replies and determine the degree of truthfulness to certain questions that were asked of them. Both women lied about having past affairs, about cheating on old b/f's and one even avoided mentioning that she was married! In the end the 'hunk' chose the one who lied the least and the other one stormed off saying how this 'hunk' actually did her a favour for she would have only cheated on him in the end.

Now thats a service I could do with, what a brilliant concept.

This service was started by a frustrated guy who advertised in the local paper to find 'wingwomen' for male customers. The response was amazing. He targets guys in the age range from 20 to late 40's and seems to have no problem finding customers. There are a whole bunch of rules and regulations such as the wingwoman can NOT get involved with the customer and must travel on her own to the public meeting places. It is definitely NOT an escort service! The amazing thing about this kind of service is that some of the wingwomen were really nice women who were honestly trying to help the guy and looked out for him. In many cases, they thought that the guy was too nice for most of the women. It is amazing that in many cases, the guy had no clue about the real intentions of the women that he was interested in but the wingwoman clearly saw through the other women and warned him about their 'real' intentions.

Pete Knight[/quote]

[Agde]

"Be prepared to give it up", in my opinion, should NOT be on the table.
Great post S&S! I'm with the "not on the table" partisans, though for slightly different reasons. I enjoy kite-surfing; my wife thinks it's crazy. If naturism is just a recreational passtime, it should be similar. When I go to a concert, I dress up, but when its a warm day, I don't wear anything for gardening. If naturism is just a clothing choice, it should be similar. When we have friends over for a barbeque, sometimes we speak french and sometimes english, sometimes we're all dressed, sometimes not. It depends. My point is that naturism is multifaceted, so "giving it up" is too. Woven naturally into life, clothes-free time doesn't need to be a monumental relationship issue. But of course this is nitpicking on a wonderful post.

[S&S]

Great post S&S! I'm with the "not on the table" partisans, though for slightly different reasons. I enjoy kite-surfing; my wife thinks it's crazy. If naturism is just a recreational passtime, it should be similar. When I go to a concert, I dress up, but when its a warm day, I don't wear anything for gardening. If naturism is just a clothing choice, it should be similar. When we have friends over for a barbeque, sometimes we speak french and sometimes english, sometimes we're all dressed, sometimes not. It depends. My point is that naturism is multifaceted, so "giving it up" is too. Woven naturally into life, clothes-free time doesn't need to be a monumental relationship issue. But of course this is nitpicking on a wonderful post.
For us nude recreation is just that - recreation; not a lifestyle. I can see where it would be contentious for some if they viewed it as a lifestyle that their partner was opposed to.

I think in that case, the same kind of communication and thought-process should take place as when you have two partners from different religious or ethnic backgrounds - things they can't really change. Although, it could be argued either way if naturism is a choice or something you are naturally "born into".

[Naturist4Ever]

>> If you run into someone you know at a nudist venue, they "should" be nude too, right? Instead of being embarrassed by this, it should be more of a bonding experience!

The problem is that many people are in fact embarressed by admitting to their enjoyment of nude recreation/lifestyle; it is much easier to emphatise with co-nudists who are totally strangers than anyone you never suspected would be interested too (family/co-worker/friend). Also, it can be a rather strange and not necessarily comfortable experience to meet your boss/co-worker/etc completely nude especially since few (there are always exceptions) broadcast their interests loudly anyway.

>> Some things I learned during this process were:

Great post, S&S, completely agree - other than "give it up". C.O. may be an alternative, or she may be accepting of you enjoying nude recreation and join a club or go to a beach without her. It doesn't /have/ to be both - or none...

>> here are some baby steps

Maybe these work for some, but just as likely maybe not for others. I know nudism in the US isn't (always) the same as naturism in Europe. So context may play a role. Doing things differently - especially "suddenly" always seems a hard sell. Like "lets watch TV nude" I could never sell at home, despite we're both avid naturists (outdoor).
My experience is that what works best is what others are already doing. If you consider skinnydipping, go to a place where very likely others also may be skinnydipping, then it all is so more natural and logical. Otherwise it is just forced. Also for first timers I am not sure if someone would be so comfortable with hiking a nature trail in the nude?...

[carbuff]

Nice post . Im still working onit . So I always read with much anticipation and hope of that magic something that will help me and my wife . Looks like good advice . I have to agree with another post , that icouldnt give it up its part of who I am !

[nuada]

Thanks S for the info, hopefully I can get the wife to try a few of your suggestions.

[Jason Lee]

We women often believe that men ALWAYS have sex as an ulterior motive.

I disagree every man is looking for sexual activity

To try naturism at a nudist beach, camp, resort

[Boreas]

Boreas,

I must know a group of very different women. Yes women are raised to believe that men ALWAYS have sex as an ulterior motive. However, when a man has NO interest in sex as an ulterior motive, then the women become even more worried as they start to wonder 1) what is wrong with this man who has no interest in sex 2) what is wrong with me in that this man is not attractive enough to me to be interested in sex.

It is like the woman who claims that she can't meet a nice and decent man. Her history is of meeting one looser after another and yet when a nice and decent man crosses paths with her, she has no interest. Go figure!

You should read about wingwomen in San Diego. Men are so stressed out about meeting women to the point where they use a special 'wingwoman' service to hire women to accompany them to bars (and other places) and introduce them to women that they might be interested in meeting. Women are always suspicious of men but they do let their guard down when other women approach them. Hence why this service is such a smash hit!

Hi Sanslines, I didn't even notice this before. You are quite right.

I had a friend who worked for one of the Federal Penitentiaries in Kingston area. He was amazed by all the women who date convicts. He asked me what women see in these guys. I have no clue since that is not something that attracts me. My best guess is that "good guys" are boring, and "bad guys" are exciting. The same can happen to men too. I know a few men who would do best with smart, articulate women and who go for the bimbos. Then they wonder why they can't meet a decent woman.

Isn't human behaviour interesting. :rolleyes:

[Boreas]

I disagree every man is looking for sexual activity

To try naturism at a nudist beach, camp, resort

Could you elaborate. Is there a mistake in this? Are you saying that you disagree that every man is looking for sexual activity?

I did not say that I believed that every man is looking for sexual activity. What I said was that we women often see ulterior motives in men's behaviour. Many men will openly admit it, and frankly would be further ahead to admit it. It is not a totally bad thing. It is only bad or questionable if the woman believes that is ALL that is motivating the man. I was also complementing the original poster on his approach to introducing his partner to naturism. He helped her to see that it is more than just sexual, and in fact, sexual motivation is not the primary reason for naturism.

You may want to pay more attention to your grammar and writing style if this is a misinterpretation.

[nakedjohn]

S&S, good for you, enjoy it together as much and as long as you can.

[toofeelgood]

S and S, you are very wise for your years. And it sounds as though you have a very open and honest relationship. More than just open and honesty to make a relationship work you must be on the same page, and I can tell you are.

As S and S has stated, give her time and let her come to her own conclusions without pressure. I have done this with my wife and she has made her own decsions and feels comfortable clothes free when she wants too. This fall might be our first visit to a resort. Terra Cotta Inn I believe.

Aloha!

[NorthEastUSA]

great advice

[Luv2camp08]

Thanks so much for your advice. My girlfriend is shy about the idea of a nudist resort or beach but at least she's now willing to sun naked in my back yard with me. I just need to be patient and possibly the rest will come.

[crazyhick50]

I have a similar issue and was ondering if you could give some advice,
My wife and I feel comfertable being nude alone or around friends, In our own home weve always walked around nude, and I've convinced her to try skinnydipping at a nude beach once. But now her kids, my step kids, are moveing in with us, and she feels that I must cover up now because even though it is ok for us and any other adult, she feels it wil somehow be bad for her kids

[OakBayMarauder]

my girlfriend is terrified of the thought of going with me to any c/o place or event! but after six months of dating and being patient and kind and not being pushy about her, just telling her what its like and why i go, she now is at least willing to meet people in the club that i hang out with (at a clothed bbq)! and she says if we ever travel to europe she'll go to a beach with me then

[MZK]

I read your post a few month's ago and tried the "baby steps" approach. We set aside one evening a week to be totally nude at home in a non-sexual manner. It eventually turned into almost every day and all day. She just tried backyard nudism on a beautiful afternoon and she enjoyed the sensation of the sun on her body. She then told me she wanted to try backyard nudism a few more times before she wants to go to a club with me. Thanks for the advice!

[Agde]

I have a similar issue and was wondering if you could give some advice,
My wife and I feel comfortable being nude alone or around friends, In our own home weve always walked around nude, and I've convinced her to try skinnydipping at a nude beach once. But now her kids, my step kids, are moveing in with us, and she feels that I must cover up now because even though it is ok for us and any other adult, she feels it wil somehow be bad for her kids

crazyhick, I meant to respond to your post sooner because I suspect your wife actually senses that naturism is in fact really good for kids. Without knowing something about the kids' ages and their previous upbringing etc, its kind of hard to offer specific advice, but, consolidating my own experience as a naturist parent and several experiences I've heard about with merged families, here's my try at some basic tips.

First, it is really important that the "parents" discuss "the plan" and are on the same page. They need to be consistent and clear role models. Second, as soon as possible when everyone is together, open the discussion with something like, "Listen, guys, now that we've got to know each other as a family, we'd just like to discuss a few things about how we see a normal and relaxed household dress code."

The basic message usually has five elements.

Among family members, it doesn't matter if we are naked or bundled up in snow clothes so that only our eyes show -- we act and treat each other just as we would if we were seeing ourselves in the mirror -- kindly and without feeling shy.
Clothes should be appropriate to what we are doing -- that means, school clothes, work clothes and other outside clothes get put away when you get home, and then you choose what's comfortable. If somebody chooses to wear just a t-shirt or nothing but slippers, that's fine.
As part of being healthy and giving your body a chance to breath normally, we all should spend some clothes-free time every day -- at least a half-hour -- think of it as a daily "air bath." You may feel shy at first -- that's normal -- but we will quickly get used to each other's air-bathing time.
What you wear at home doesn't matter to other rules -- no fighting or mean teasing, homework before TV, etc.
We are a family, talk about anything and everything, know each other's good points and bad points, and love each other no matter what!

The rest is about parents really listening to the kids, responding to questions and little glitches in practice, and following the household rules themselves in a natural and nonchalant way.

The best gift parents can give kids to to raise them with naturist values -- body acceptance and personal care, respect for others without regard to gender or age, etc. At the same time, kids understand context and consequently will understand different dress codes in situations outside the home or when there are visitors.

What is bad for kids is to teach them to feel ashamed of their natural state, to hide from brothers or sisters or parents, rather than to see clothing as just a practical. and sometimes fun accessory. There is afterall nothing about being comfortable nude with family members that conflicts with being dressed appropriately, or even fashionably, at other times.

[Nude Hiker]

Hi, I am new in this forum and have unfurtunally not read the articel, but I have the same problem. My wife also don't like naturism. in her mind it is unnatural and i can not convince her. i which I could. I am a naturist since I was 16 even my parents did not approved. I feel people missunderstand naturism and compare this with sex. I go on nudist hikes and on naturist tours with people. We had never problems in the group or outside. Unfortunally South Africa, specialy the Eastern Cape is still very close minded when it comes to naturism. If someone knows how to convince my wife that naturism is good for soul and body, feel free to reply.
Grettings

[bareman58]

Hello...I have a very similar situation to yours,except no kids to involve.My wife
is not into the Nudist or Naturist lifestyle.She has various health problems that
are enhanced by certain medicines she takes that won't allow much sunlight on her skin.As for myself,I love being nude at all times,anywhere,whenever possible.She cannot comprehend this.She doesn't even sleep nude anymore.
I wish that it were otherwise,because I adore her.I just wanted to say that you are not alone in this,my friend.Have a great day.:D

[garbo]

Excellent summary, S.
People are not all the same and ways to deal effectively with a reluctant spouse may be different as well. We may all have to figure out for ourselves that is the best course of action.

My significant other knew from the beginning that I enjoyed nudism. To make the transition easier, we set some ground rules so there were no surprises. Although clearly not a prude, I knew that private or public nudity was not something she ever even thought of, much less participate in. As to not overwhelm her I chose not to be nude around the house and limit it to laying around our pool. I assumed that being nude around the house and our private yard would be counter-productive to helping her understand what I was doing. One day, while we were relaxing in our pool, she told me she felt ridiculous with a suit on while I was nude. She quickly took it the suit off.

When I mentioned that I would like to visit our local resort for the day, I asked her to take a personal challenge and try to overcome her natural objections for just a few hours, with the understanding that we would leave immediately if she became too uncomfortable, no questions asked. I told her that we were there for OUR pleasure and relaxation and not judged by others. When we arrived at the resort, instead of stripping down right away and heading to the pool, I decided to drive around a bit, stopping at the tennis courts, the lake, the pool area and surrounding homes on the property. I gave her a chance to warm up to what a nudist environment was all about. Seeing all those nude bodies was quite a shock at first, but after a short while, she came to the conclusion that it wasn't as horrible as she expected. She finally braved undressing in the ladies room and came out fully covered in towels. Within a few minutes, she said the same thing to me there that she said at our pool.. that she felt ridiculous all covered up when everyone was nude! She removed the towels and finally relaxed. Another thing that made her feel a little more at ease was that the women were all shapes and sizes. She had envisioned all Barbie figures and was pleasantly surprised that was not the case. She also realized how friendly people are. The couple sitting next to us at the pool struck up a conversation almost immediately and it happened again while in the pool. The personal challenge worked.

I am certain that it is unlikely that she will ever call herself a nudist, but at least we do not have to put into the reluctant category.

[Ken Palmer]

Well, a hearty congratulations to you! It does appear that you definitely took the right approach and got both positive and productive results. I will say that it took an awful lot of courage to merely mention to your girlfriend in the beginning. Had that had been me, I would have been nervous as the dickens!



Ken Palmer




Hello everyone,

I am a 21 year-old newly-married male. Two years ago when my wife and I were dating, I revealed to her my regular practice of home nudity and my desire to visit a nudist club. She didn't understand why anyone would want to do this at first and was very reluctant to even talk about it, but after months of discussion and thought, she agreed to give it an honest try. It turned out she really enjoyed our first visit - we went back several times that summer.

Some things I learned during this process were:

Be patient. I understood quickly that this was a sudden and overwhelming piece of information for her, so I knew I had to be patient with how much I revealed at once, and how much I asked of her at once.
Give her control. I promised her that if she was really uncomfortable while at the club, we would get alone and talk, and leave if necessary. I think knowing she had a "way out" helped her feel more at ease.
Listen. Spend as much time listening to her as you do talking to her. Repeat her concerns and fears back to her in a way that lets her know you understand. Do not make fun of or downplay her feelings.
Clearly explain your intentions. Let her know explicitly what is is about naturism that you love, and why you would love for her to join you in it.
Be prepared to give it up. I told my wife two years ago, "If, after an honesty try at naturism, it's truly not something you want to do, I will give it up and never mention it again." That was huge for her I think: it let her know she was more important to me than naturism, that her feelings were more important than my desires.


Finally, here are some "Baby Steps" to ease your partner into viewing simple nudity as fun and relaxing:

Spend time nude at home together. If you shower together, suggest not getting dressed right away if you have nowhere to go. Suggest a nude picnic dinner on the living room floor. If you are sexually active, look for ways to spend time nude together that don't (always) lead to sex.
Suggest going skinny dipping. If you have a pool or hot tub, try going nude. You can even get in clothed and undress under water. Try to keep it fun and non-sexual. You could even try doing this in a group setting with close friends. You'd be surprised how willing close friends are to trying something like this!
Suggest visiting a nudist club only after she is totally comfortable with simple nudity. When you get there, don't go right in the middle of the crowd. Tour the grounds, hike the nature trail if they have one. If you are a man trying to convince your female partner to join you in social nudity, take the lead by introducing yourself and her to someone you meet at a club. Act natural and wear a smile. Keep the mood light.


If anyone would like any more advice feel free to PM me. I figure I must have done something right! :laugh:

~S&S

[ghan130]

Great post with super advice. This is one of the main reasons I joined this site is to find ways to help my wife see the joy of being free of clothes. Thanks for the advice, will give it a try!

[klprcl80]

Great post S&S, being open and honest is always the key.