Gay marraige

[usmc1]

People never cease to amaze me. Yeah, I know it is banal statement and a trusty sort of cliché with which one can launch an essay. Try not to judge me too harshly. It’s a rainy day, and I’m tired. It’s the best opener I had at the moment. Okay?
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Gay marriage is not going to end civilization as we know it! At least that’s my take on things.

I say this because in recent weeks, I have had several acquaintances, progressives who reallywant to undo the devastation of eight years of Bush and his deep-forest hobgoblins, river trolls, mendicants, and felons, tell me as an aside, “I’m as liberal as they come, but I’m not for this gay marriage stuff”. Thankfully, I didn’t get a wink and a nudge as this was said.

But, what I did get, was that “look” and a moment of awkward silence, as though I was supposed to signal a, “Yeah, me too”. I didn’t, because I don’t agree.

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In the first place, and putting aside all the legal issues about long-term, same-sex couples who are deprived of hospital visits with one another by angry, vindictive relatives, or adoption issues, or the passing along of property—all really incredibly important issues, yes—but let’s just focus on the basics, shall we?

Why should too people who want to marry not be allowed to do so simply because they both get to use the same public restroom? Huh, tell me. You can’t, without appealing to some interpretation of the bible—and, that is a very sticky wicket. Since no one knows for certain what has been stuck in and what has been left out of that particular best-seller as it’s been passed through about four or five different languages, and translated and rewritten by various groups and individuals intent on putting their own spin on things.

Nope, it is going to take a lot more than that to pry the notion that gay-marriage is just fine, from my cold dead fingers.

I wish I’d been asked by that <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comhttp://www.clothesfreeforum.com/ /><ST1:place w:st=</ST1:place>Warren fellow at the Saddleback Q & A what my definition of marriage is. I’d have told him it is two people hooking up for some stupid and poorly thought out reason involving love, convenience, or preservation of the family name, or to make sure you’ve always got someone to eat popcorn with on Saturday night while watching a flick on TV.

Hell, I don’t know why people get married. It never turns out quite the way you thought about it at the time. For me it’s been danged good, interesting, but a good thing. For others, it doesn’t always go well. That’s life. But, if homosexuals (I would sort of like to reclaim the word gay), lesbians, transgendered, or some subtle variation of all that want to get married, more power to them. I mean after all, it’s not as though denying them marriage will make them stop doing the things that some people object to. Now, will it? Plus get it off the table (ahem) and maybe we could focus on something with real meaning.

Seriously, it doesn’t threaten my marriage anymore than old Maybelle Quicktoliedown’s five sequential, and seemingly heterosexual, marriages to, and divorces from, several variations of the same Johnny Worthlessasspit threatens my marriage. My marriage will survive, and so will yours.

And seriously, no government, federal, state, or local has any business dictating to any church who they must provide the rites of marraige. Your church doesn’t wish to wed same-sex folks, then don’t. There are plenty that will.

The flip side of that coin is that no church should be dictating to any government to whom it may or may not issue a marriage license.

You don’t approve? Fine! Don’t go to the reception and drink the free booze, don't check the registry at Nieman's, and for sure don’t send a toaster.

[Redtan]

I considered myself fairly balanced when this issue came up for debate in Canada. I thought a separate civil union for gays should be recognised. Disregarding my sage advice, the government went ahead and legalized gay marriage. And you know what? You're right USMC, the world didn't end. It is no big deal (except for some tourist dollars as gays from other countries come here to get married).

Since then I've spoken to a few gay couples and I realize I was wrong (there's always a first time, right?). Regardless of how it was presented a separate union for gays would always be seen as a sort of 'second class' marriage. Gays who want to be married should be. Heaven knows, us straights haven't got a sterling record at it!

I recall one joke that was going around at the time:
"I don't oppose gay marriage. Let them get married and then lets see how gay the poor sods are!"

[Naturist Mark]

I dunno ...

Gay marriage ... Global warming ... kids wearing droopy pants

Coincidence?

[hm0504]

All posts above are great and right on -- being Canadian, I particularly emphasize, and empathize with, Redtan's. In Canada, there was lots of debate, but now that same-sex marriage (SSM) is legal, the Christianists still object but one doesn't hear much about it. The Conservative party was against it, but when they lost their vote to repeal SSM, the Prime Minister said that was the end of the matter -- and nearly all anti-SSM parliamentarians quietly whitewashed their web pages of their positions.

[nudenwv]

wow! this is a tough one to post to but above all a good one! in my opinion, and only my opinon, this is not a group of people that want to stand out but a group of people who love,hate,hurt and bleed the same as male/female relationships. they just want the same responsibility and lifestyle that our culture has given the male/female relationship.

[Boreas]

What a wonderful thread! usmc1, when will you be publishing that wonderful piece in a noted publication? You are bang on.

I remember when the same sex marriage issue came up here. I was living in Ontario at the time. I worked with a woman who was lesbian and was having a committment ceremony with her beloved around the same time as I was getting married. Her ceremony was far more elaborate and grand than mine. She and her beloved bought a house together. They adopted a dog from the Toronto SPCA together, a feat rather like adopting a child, and settled into domestic bliss around the time I did. Lo and behold, her beloved decided she really did not want such domestic bliss after all. My friend and colleague was devastated. She picked up the pieces, they divided what needed to be divided and moved on. She was a smart woman with a graduate degree. Had she been someone with fewer brains and supports, she might have been hooped. It really made me realize that same sex couples deserve the same legal protections as we heteros enjoy.....at the very least.

I have since been honoured to celebrate the marriage of another lesbian couple. One of the women described to me exactly why it was important for her to be able to marry legally.

I am convinced that legalizing same sex marriage was the right thing to do. I am glad Canada has done this.

[florida-david]

I knew there was a reason i liked Canada, they don't let their stupid religious beliefs run the country. Isn't America supposed to have a seperation between church and state? Let gays, lesbians, etc. get married, they deserve the right to be miserable like the rest of us!!!
(JK, LOL)