OMIG-True Story-Talked my way out of ticket!

[usmc1]

This is true!

I was booking it on a Texas two-lane blacktop to deliver a speech at yet another campaign Bar-b-que this morning when the local fuzz clocked me for 63 in a 45. And, he had me dead to rights, I was booking it through that little one-light town.

He took my license and my Insurance card and just as he reached for his ticket book I, I said, "Hold on, if I tell you a police joke that you've never heard, will you let me off with a warning."

Bubba looked at me kind of hard, and I thought man he's gonna strap my butt for being a smartass. Then he said, "I don't think so, but let's hear it."

And here's the joke I told:

There was this guy speeding in a "write-me-a-ticket" red sports car and when the radar car lit him up, he floored it.

He screamed down the highway going faster and faster, with the police car in hot pursuit with lights flashing and siren screeching.

Finally he gave up and pulled over and the officer raced up to the car, "Yelling what in the hell is your problem, why didn't you stop five miles back, when I first turned on my lights".

"Well, officer, two weeks ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper, and I thought you were him, trying to catch me to give her back."

It worked, he laughed and said OK, but don't speed in my town again.

Yessir sez I, and drove off, holding my smirk until I was in the next county.

Now here is what makes it especially sweet. My wife was there! Talked my butt out of a ticket and my wife was forced to witness it....dang, life can be so good sometimes.

I will be especially unbearable the rest of the weekend. And she'll have to hear it over-and-over-and-over...

Add your got a, or got out off, ticket stories.;)

[Nugent]

Heee Heee haaa Oboy did you ask for it

[Baretodabone]

Many years back when I was younger and stupider, I owned a 1965 Corvette. At the time I lived in the grand state of California, but had made a flying trip home to visit family. By flying, I managed to stay under 95 most of the way, because at about 96 my mirrors would go blank from a slight shimmy I had in the rear end... I wore two new tires slick on that run. Any way, on the return trip, I was again hanging just under 95 on I40 just east of Santa Rosa on a long downhill grade. I saw someone step out into the road and started to wave me down... when I got closer, I realized it was a NM highway patrol, parked at the bottom of the hill. Evidently I got picked up by one of their spotter planes and they radioed to the foot patrolman... After a few minutes conversation, I got my ticket, but only at 10 miles over the speed limit..and very strict instructions to stop in Santa Rosa and pay the judge... he said if you go through Santa Rosa, there's another patrol car waiting on the other side. I stopped and paid the fine. That corvette kept me in trouble but wish I still had it.

On another occasion in Belmont, CA. I was on my way home from work. At the time I worked a swing shift and got off between 11:30 and midnight... My supervisor and the rest of my crew usually stopped afterwork at a local bar and had a few until the bar closed at 2 am... this particular night I had about 1/2 glass of beer and was having trouble getting it swallowed... not in the mood I guess... I left the bar and headed home on El Camino and just as it entered Belmont, a traffic light changed green to yellow... I punch the corvette through the light. A Belmont patrol car sat in a dark service station just inside the city limits... I saw his engine start and the lights light up as I passed, and knew I was nailed so I just pulled over. I was already parked and pulling my license before the patrol car got straight in the street.
That took some talking, because the patrolman wanted to charge me with exhibition of speed.. a $650 fine and suspension of license. He wanted know why I didn't run.. my response was "I know I could out run your car... couldn't outrun the radio though". After about 10 minutes of question and answer, with me saying yessir and nosir very very politely, I walked away with only a warning, but for a few weeks I avoided going home through Belmont, especially late at night.

[baregreg]

This is true!

I was booking it on a Texas two-lane blacktop to deliver a speech at yet another campaign Bar-b-que this morning when the local fuzz clocked me for 63 in a 45. And, he had me dead to rights, I was booking it through that little one-light town.

He took my license and my Insurance card and just as he reached for his ticket book I, I said, "Hold on, if I tell you a police joke that you've never heard, will you let me off with a warning."

Bubba looked at me kind of hard, and I thought man he's gonna strap my butt for being a smartass. Then he said, "I don't think so, but let's hear it."

And here's the joke I told:

There was this guy speeding in a "write-me-a-ticket" red sports car and when the radar car lit him up, he floored it.

He screamed down the highway going faster and faster, with the police car in hot pursuit with lights flashing and siren screeching.

Finally he gave up and pulled over and the officer raced up to the car, "Yelling what in the hell is your problem, why didn't you stop five miles back, when I first turned on my lights".

"Well, officer, two weeks ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper, and I thought you were him, trying to catch me to give her back."

It worked, he laughed and said OK, but don't speed in my town again.

Yessir sez I, and drove off, holding my smirk until I was in the next county.

Now here is what makes it especially sweet. My wife was there! Talked my butt out of a ticket and my wife was forced to witness it....dang, life can be so good sometimes.

I will be especially unbearable the rest of the weekend. And she'll have to hear it over-and-over-and-over...

Add your got a, or got out off, ticket stories.;)

Sounds much like what I posted here:
http://www.clothesfreeforum.com/showthread.php?t=13065

[Qikdraw]

Sounds much like what I posted here:
http://www.clothesfreeforum.com/showthread.php?t=13065


Thats probably where he remembered the joke from. :D

I've gotten a couple of warnings and let gos in my time. Only one was really memorable though.

I made a left turn to go to the 7-11 parking lot, when halfway through the turn I noticed there was a no left turn sign. (note: the sign was not always there, it had been placed there only a few months previously, I had just forgotten it was there). I parked the car and a police car slid up beside me, the officer on the passenger side got out and tapped on my window. I said hello, and how could I help him. He asked if I saw the no left turn sign and I told him only as I was halfway through, and wasn't going to back up and go straight. I gave him my licence and registration and he took them back to his car. He came back, and at that pooit my friend piped up and said to get him a coke from teh 7-11 when I was through, as he was thirsty. I told him I was a little busy. The policeman must have thought this was funny because he then asked for my friends licence. The policeman came back again and asked 'heads or tails?'. Huh? 'Heads or tails' he repeated. So I said 'tails', he flips a coin and looks at me and said 'its not your lucky day'. He then looks at his partner, still sitting behind the wheel, sighs and then hands our licences and says 'have a good evening' while laughing. Then they drove off.
The cashier inside asked how much the ticket was and I said I didn't get one, and told him what happened. He couldn't believe it, he had seen a lot of tickets given away, but never saw anyone not get one. :D

[usmc1]

Sounds much like what I posted here:
http://www.clothesfreeforum.com/showthread.php?t=13065

I replied, but it went up yonder. Dang, guess I've used all my cleverness for one day. LOL

Point is, true story, swear it on Chesty's gravestone. And that is as solemn as a double-dog dare you oath!

[DenitaLC]

Our first trip from WA to Palm Springs, CA was a road trip. Upon leaving PS, we decided to go home via Reno for a little casino fun. In conversation with friends that we'd had lunch with in Palm Springs, while on the topic of CA traffic, one of the gals said, "Just don't go over 90 and you'll be okay." Well, on our way up to Reno we were going through the all the mountainous passes, talking, and listening to the radio....have a good time on the long drive. It just happened that we crested one of the last passes and started down the other side WHEN, my husband looks down and says, "Wow, 90...I better slow down!" Upon those words leaving his lips, he looks down the highway and sees..................a state patrol car. He then looks at me and says, "here comes a ticket". Sure enough, the Stater does the dreaded U-turn, hits his lights, and pulls us over.

I open the glove box and proceed to grab the necessary documents: registration and insurance. BUT WAIT, where the HELL are they. We practically tear the inside of the cab apart looking for them to no avail. Now, we are very good about putting those things in our vehicles and the only thing we could come up with is that when we had the truck detailed, someone took those papers. I actually called the Palm Springs PD and filed a theft report. I wanted to have our bases covered if ID theft surfaced down the road.

The Officer was able to radio in and verify the registration on our truck so we didn't get in more trouble than the speeding ticket. Hubby had to do online traffic school and keep his nose clean for 18 months. :)

The irony was having the friend say, you're okay under 90, and hubby saying Whoa, gotta slow down but that tad too late with the SP in the perfect spot. :eek:

[Nugent]

In Tucson Arizona, around 1960 or so, I was driving a brand new 10 wheel dump truck from the Dealers to the job site. About half way there a police car with lites flashing came up behind me so I pulled over. I was definitly not speeding and was in the city limits. The cop parked in front of me and took quiet a bit of time getting his hat on straight and gathering up his ticket book and pens.

He came up to the door of the truck and demanded my licence. I handed it to him and asked him what was wrong. He said I had no licence plates on the truck. I acted dumbfounded and got out of the truck and walked to the rear of the truck with him alongside me. Looked at the place where the licence should be and there was none I said geee they should be there lets go look in front. We walked around and sure enough no licence plates there. I sttod there stupified while the cop wrote out the ticket. He handed the ticket book to me for me to sighn, and I said hey wait a minute, whats that thing pasted on the passenger side windsheild.

You should have seen the look on his face. He said uugggh is it a new truck. I said what the hell you think it is and got in the truck and drove off leaving him standing there holding the ticket book. (side note) He was in trouble because in those days if a cop did something like writting a ticket for no offence he was in serious disciplinary trouble.

[Qikdraw]

This happened to a budd of mine...

It was a dark and stormy night, (it really was) and my buddy was driving home from work in his old car that he was fixing up. (1970s something or other, can't remember) A cop pulls him over and walks to the window and my buddy, who was driving the speed limit, wondered what that was all about. The cop told him one os his headlights was out and gives him a lecture about it. My buddy asked if he could exit the car for a second. He gets out, walks to the front of his car, raises his fist, and wacks it down on the hood above the offending light, which promplty turns on. He just looked at the cop and said it does that when its raining. The cop looked at him, looked at the light, turned away and drove off.

[Buff Man in MI]

I once got out of a speeding in a school zone ticket. 20 mph and I was doing 33 mph. There was road construction and they moved the road too far from the sign. It was only a 20 mph zone in the mornings and late afternoons when the flashing lights were on, otherwise it was 30 mph. With the right side of the road routed to the left hand side, it was too far from the travelled way to the sign. I brought a drawing and a copy of the signage rules to court and the judge threw out my ticket. The police officer tried to get me for going 3 over the limit, but I pointed out that he couldn't change the charges after hearing my case. The judge agreed with me, but he did lecture me. I was actually applauded by the other citizens in the court room as I walked out.

[BinCo]

When I was 18 I worked at a car dealer in Florida that sold Porsche, Mercedes and Audi. I was cruising back from dropping off a sales guy's delivery and was heading back to the dealer. There was an empty stretch of 17-92 just before it went under a train bridge. I hit it in the Audi 5000 and was doing 85 when I looked at the speedo. Mighty quick I thought. Just on the other side of the bridge was a road that had a light that crossed mine. I had a "Use the Force" moment and realized that there might be a problem here. I slammed on the brackes just as the cop got me doing 83 in a 45. He was at the front of the light and whipped around after me. Being 18, in a company car with the registration on the back of the license that was screwed to the car, I was shaking. I thought I was going to piss my uniform pants. The cop runs my license and sees that it's clean as the 1st day I got it. See's that I am in a company uniform 1-1/2 miles from the dealer and sees that I'm about to piss in my uniform pants. He lets me off with a warning and says he is going to call my boss. I told him that I was not used to driving the car and had no real idea that I was going that fast. As far as I know he never called the boss.

[usmc1]

When I was 18 I worked at a car dealer in Florida that sold Porsche, Mercedes and Audi. I was cruising back from dropping off a sales guy's delivery and was heading back to the dealer. There was an empty stretch of 17-92 just before it went under a train bridge. I hit it in the Audi 5000 and was doing 85 when I looked at the speedo. Mighty quick I thought. Just on the other side of the bridge was a road that had a light that crossed mine. I had a "Use the Force" moment and realized that there might be a problem here. I slammed on the brackes just as the cop got me doing 83 in a 45. He was at the front of the light and whipped around after me. Being 18, in a company car with the registration on the back of the license that was screwed to the car, I was shaking. I thought I was going to piss my uniform pants. The cop runs my license and sees that it's clean as the 1st day I got it. See's that I am in a company uniform 1-1/2 miles from the dealer and sees that I'm about to piss in my uniform pants. He lets me off with a warning and says he is going to call my boss. I told him that I was not used to driving the car and had no real idea that I was going that fast. As far as I know he never called the boss.

Glad to see you poking your head up again. You've given me an idea though. Say you get stopped driving a Carrera, Testa Rosa or some other bad mofo, and you ask the cop if he'll let you off if you'll let him drive your car a bit? What would happen?

Most cops are semi-human, having had at least one human parent, it seems most would go for it!

[BinCo]

Good to be back. I've had a very busy summer, lots of work, lots of gardening. Not a lot of relaxing time, except DFest. Building a new wall on the side of the house that finally got HOA approval, so later this year we'll have a 35x20 area of C/O fun and lawn tool storage. Not the best compromise, but I got some of the nude space I've been yearning for.

To answer your question. Yes. I believe it was the 2006 Gumball 3000 that traveled from LA to Miami and a guy driving a Konnigsegg CCR got a ticket in Texas, on camera, as the highest ticket in world history. 242mph in a 70mph zone. I have not seen the movie, but it was supposed to be in it. The cop knocked it down to a lesser speed after getting to drive the 806hp monster. While working at that dealer we certainly heard of stories like this.

The best was a guy who wanted his 1986 911Turbo boosted beyond factory specs and to have the chassis changed because "at 155 if you hit the brakes it shimmies like it's gonna fall apart". The service manager told him that we have no techs that are allowed to drive that fast, so we are not sure how to help him. He offered to drive, so the best Porsche tech went with him on Maitland Blvd and did exactly that. 155 in a 50. They told the guy to wait a few weeks and when the Porsche team was in Sebring for the 24 hour race they would have them look at it. They fixed it and boosted his Turbo by 60%. He was a happy guy after that.


Hope all is well, I'll chime in every now and then.