I have a question for everyone that still works

[christy799]

I have a question for everyone that still works. I work in a place of employment. And, there are many co workers of mine that are very over weight. They eat like hogs. I say nothing, and I will continue to say nothing derogatory about their food choices and the quantity of the food they eat. I choose to eat small portions, alot of salads and lean meats. When i do, they tell me I have a poor body image of myself, and why am I on a lettuce and water diet? My question is this, why can't I get the same respect I give them? Just curious as to what you think, or are you one of those people obove mentioned?

[Fuzzy Nuts]

Probably many over-weight people are not really happy with their body image and when they see a lean person it sort of rubs salt in the wound so to speak. If all people were over-weight like them then they would probably be happier with their own image.

Lets face it if you look at the ads in newspaper and tv there all kinds of weight -loss plans but very few trying to get people to put on more poundage.

[baregreg]

I have a question for everyone that still works. I work in a place of employment. And, there are many co workers of mine that are very over weight. They eat like hogs. I say nothing, and I will continue to say nothing derogatory about their food choices and the quantity of the food they eat. I choose to eat small portions, alot of salads and lean meats. When i do, they tell me I have a poor body image of myself, and why am I on a lettuce and water diet? My question is this, why can't I get the same respect I give them? Just curious as to what you think, or are you one of those people obove mentioned?
Well I'm not working but I can still relate.

My entire life I've been thin. I'm currently 6ft 2in - 185 lbs.
Too me that isn't "Skinny" maybe it is?

The reason I use the word skinny is, I still hear that from people all the time. And guess who these people are - yep overweight people. I would "never" go up to an overweight person and say "Wow, you're fat"

Like you, I see the type of crap they are cramming down their mouths. Do I say anything to them - nope. We both know in the long run we are healthier.

My grandma had a saying (she also was thin person)

"Some people live to eat. Some people eat to live" :)

[Home Nudist]

Edit: baregreg beat me to the punch!

As one who constantly fights the "battle of the bulge," I think it has something to do with our social conditioning.

I would never walk up to someone and say, "Gee, you're fat!" That would be impolite and insulting.

However, most people think nothing of making comments to a thin person pertaining to their diet or weight, although it can be just as insulting. But, because in our society fat is "bad," and thin is "good," people probably feel that they are paying a compliment to the thin person, without meaning to be abrasive.

They are way out of line to tell you that you have a "poor body image" and wonder why a thin person eats the way you choose to eat. (When did they get their degrees in human behavior?)

As Fuzzy implied, they are probably projecting their OWN body image issues onto you -- And, they probably don't even realize that they're doing it.

[christy799]

Thanks baregreg, you made my day, christy is smiling

[jon71]

That's low class of them. You make intelligent choices and should be commended for taking care of yourself. I know I don't always make the best choices but part of that is that I try to only use 30. minutes so what's quick is a big part of my decision.

[garbo]

Hi Christy
Good post! There are certain subjects that seem to breed rudeness. The overweight issue is certainly one of them. We have such an obsession with food in this country and the penalty is that people often admonish those that over-dulge. Sometimes it is reverse discrimination where the heavy people admonish those who are thin or working on a healthier lifestyle. There is great prejudice in our society for the overweight and seemingly little tolerance both in the workplace and elsewhere. The workplace is also often discriminatory when it comes to those with excess weight. This is very unfortunate.

Our media has over emphasized the diet and nutrician market and our magazine covers and tv and movie actors for the most part are selling a slender image. We are bombarded with images and information from a multi-billion health and exercise industry.

So why are your fellow employees so rude? Ask them if you can! You may find out that deep down they are unhappy with their appearance and need to chastise others. It is surely a sorry state of affairs. According to your post, you are looking for respect.. or at the least I assume some common courtesy. It is possible these people are so out of control that it is unlikely that you will ever see the respect due you. On the other hand, respect is never requested, it is earned. It is possible that if they see that you are not reacting to their offensive words, they will repect your right to enjoy your food just as they enjoy theirs. In this case, you might just have to be "bigger" then them.. not in size but in temperment and confidence. Live and let live.

I am aware of a similar situation that occured in a govenment office that I was working in many years ago. A young female general manager was trying to reduce her caloric intake and add walking to her lunchtime routine was ridiculed by a select few of her collegues. It was so silly and totally unnecessary. She found a way to stop the harrassment by instituting an overall health program where a reward would be offered to those who participated in an office weight reduction program. It was partially sponsored by the insurance company that covers the group with health insurance. Shortly after the program was instituted, the harrassment stopped altogether.

Enter nudism.. the great equalizer! We have all seen people of all sizes at the resorts. No comments needed by either the heavier ones or lighter ones needed!

[Qikdraw]

I have a question for everyone that still works. I work in a place of employment. And, there are many co workers of mine that are very over weight. They eat like hogs. I say nothing, and I will continue to say nothing derogatory about their food choices and the quantity of the food they eat. I choose to eat small portions, alot of salads and lean meats. When i do, they tell me I have a poor body image of myself, and why am I on a lettuce and water diet? My question is this, why can't I get the same respect I give them? Just curious as to what you think, or are you one of those people obove mentioned?

You say you eat small portions, but do you eat enough small portions over the day to cover you? (I ask because getting my wife to eat proper amounts of food is hard) I believe you are supposed to eat 6 small portions during the day instead of 3 larger ones correct? I hope that is what you do. If you do, why not just tell them that? That you eat 6 times a day in small portions and that is more healthy than eating 3 larger meals.

I'm not siding with them because their behaviour is rude, but as I mentioned I have to fight with my wife for her to eat properly. She works out for 2 hours every morning, then will have just a pb&j sandwich, then wait 5 or more hours for dinner. And you can't lose weight that way either, your body goes into 'starvation mode' and you end up keeping on weight. When I am able to get my wife to eat proper amounts of food she starts losing weight. Anyway I am sure you know all that, I'm just rambling. :D

[christy799]

Hi guys, thanks for your input. Your all so cool. But, thats because your nudists, like myself. I wish I could tell my close friends at work that I am a nudist and explain how relaxing and great it is. Sadly, i would be treated like a weirdo. They are great people, just very narror minded and not understanding at all when it comes to naked people. I tested the subject a couple of times and I got alot of negativity and crap. So that part of my life is secret at work. Have a great rest of the week guys:)

[garbo]

The workplace is usually not the place to share your love for nudism. You open yourself up to ridicule and criticism. One thing I have noticed about many nudists is their desire to recruit other nudists. That in itself is not a bad thing, but the workplace is not the place to do that.

On a personal note, as I am a little older.. I am not shy about admitting my interest and participation in nudism with anyone who asks. I don't volunteer but if the subject comes up, I energetically say that I am an advocate. Perhaps I am at the stage of my life where other peoples hangups are not my concern.

[NatureFred]

Christy, I've dealt with the same thing for most of my adult life. (At 5'9", I weighed 98 lbs when I left home for college. I'm up to 130 lbs now, at age 50.) I've always chalked it up to the idea that folks who aren't thin, and really want to be, just don't have any insight into what it's like to be on the other end of the spectrum. I know I haven't the faintest idea what it's like to be unable to lose weight. The difference is, I would never go up to someone and say, "wow, I wish I could put on 5 pounds over the weekend, like you just complained you did!" although MANY times folks have said to me "wow, you're skinny as a rail! I wish I could eat anything I wanted, like you do, and never put on an ounce!" (Granted, this is not the same rude thing they're saying to you, but it's still rude.)

But think about how many overweight people have NEVER said something like that to you. They're being nice, just as you and I are being nice. And there are probably people who have said rude things to them about their eating habits, and they said to themselves, "what's up with that? I don't say stuff like that."

A handful (OK, maybe a large handful) of rude people can make it seem like people in general are rude.

(And for what it's worth, just once I snapped back at a co-worker and said, "You CAN eat everything I want and not put on an ounce. The problem is, you eat everything YOU want." And it hurt them very badly, and I felt terrible afterwards.)

[Croydon]

Christy, I have been in your situation before.

After graduating from college and moving to NYC, I realized I had put on some weight my last two yrs of college and needed to get back in shape. I hired and trainer and became religious about my eating habits. I would eat small meals throughout the day.

At work, I normally had a sandwich and salad for lunch. Two co-workers, who were overweight, ate poorly. Every day they had pizza, burgers, and frappaccino for lunch. Even though I knew what they were eating was bad, I respected their choice and said nothing. I would often get sarcastic remarks from them about my healthy eating but always ignored them. I did reach my last straw and said something mean that I shouldn't have. Needless to say, they stopped their comments after that.

Seeing you eat well and keep in shape is a reflecting of their poor eating habits and weight and that makes them feel guilty and horrible. In their eyes, they feel that your healthy behavior is a form of mockery of them so to make themselves feel better, they will "retaliate" by putting you down.

I say continue to be cordial and ignore them.

[JeepNude]

Some of my co-workers bag on me and my eating habits. I am vegan, which means NO animal products. No meat, no cheese, no milk, etc. I eat mostly fresh, uncooked foods. My office has food brought in for the staff all the time. Mostly Mexican food. Whenever they have food brought to the office and I am there, I look for stuff I can eat. The rude comments come after the "aren't you going to try this?" and I politely respond "no, thank you". Then, they push and push, so I have to snap back with something just to shut them up. It happens at least twice a month or more, and you would think they would have it figured out by now, but they don't. I have explained what a vegan is to all that have asked, to no avail. It was even an officewide discussion once for weeks before a Christmas party. Sometimes, people purposely shove huge amounts of meat into their mouth, step directly in front of me and chew it slowly with their mouth open. So... Does it mean they do it just to be rude? Probably. Do I really need to snap back? I used to think no, but now I think yes.

Don't feel bad if you have to snap back to protect yourself. it's OK. However, if you snap back with a personal crack, that may be crossing the line. The correct way to snap back is something I have been working on lately. Let me offer some of the things I have discovered.

For instance, cracking back with "no, I don't eat that, and that is why I am thin and you are obese" is bad. Stopping with "I don't eat that" is good enough. Now, if someone asks why, replying with "I am trying to eat healthy" is good. Replying "I am trying to eat healthy so I don't end up like you" is bad. Even if it makes you feel good at the moment, you will feel badly afterward.

[JeepNude]

As for telling co-workers you are a nudist... Play that one by ear.

In 1998, I was surfing the club's website at work one day. No big deal since I am in charge of all the office computers, and I have an enclosed office, and I set the policies. Anyway, a co-worker popped his head in, and immediately zeroed in on the computer screen. Then, he barged between me and the computer and began checking out the webpage. I shoved him back out of the way and asked what he wanted, in a rude manner. He ran out, down the hall, to the GM and complained that I was surfing 'porn'. The GM stomped down the hall to confront me about it. I showed him the webpage (still on my screen) and what it was. He laughed his head off and left. That was the end of it. But, I explained to the staff what it was to ward off any residual giggles from the staff. Everyone understood, some mentioned 'that explains the tan', and all went about their day.

In the years since, I get the occasional comment and remark. But, it has all worked out well. Our female manager who came aboard 7 years ago was informed and appreciates my 'safeness'. One of the (horndog) guys in the office mentioned some concern about me working alone with her. She told him "he is the safest guy in the office". That speaks volumes. The corporate bigwigs all know about it and embrace it. For instance, one year for Christmas, I was sent a set of large beach towels with me and my wife's names embroidered on them! How cool is that?!!

So, advice- if your office can handle it, let it be known. The positives offset the negatives.

[jon71]

That beach towel thing is seriously cool Jeepnude. Good for you and good for your bosses that they get it.