Governmentium

[ki4kxq]

The Heaviest Element Known to Science

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

[Navigator]

...whew...sounds an awful lot like the Bush Adminsitration to me...I'm surprised you'd post it.

But...I can tell ya...it's pretty clear to me that since the Bush Governmentium has way more than enough morons to become Bush Administratium, the money Governmentium was catalysed with to form Administratium will be poured into the black hole of the current Bush deflationary debt spiral by the isodopes, quickly decaying once again, into Bush Depressionarium and, in pretty short order, transmuting things like food into Unobtainium....identified on the periodic table as Ulose.

[ki4kxq]

I was thinking more along the lines of the legislative branch, however, I think it applies to the federal government in general.

This is what happens when the federal government gets involved in anything like trying to put folks in houses they cannot afford and providing health care for all. No thanks.

[Navigator]

This is what happens when the federal government gets involved in anything like trying to put folks in houses they cannot afford and providing health care for all. No thanks.


...wow...something else we agree on.

That whole "Ownership Society" thing that Bush made the hallmark of his 8 years in office....along with, of course, wars of aggression, torture, unpreparedness for Black Swans like 911 or even predictable events like Katrina....was bound to end up in a collapsing economy after all those years of Greenscams easy money to facilitate the "Ownership Society" and give the appearance of a vibrant economy.

And, it looks like we also agree that McCain's plan to tax the health-care benefits paid for by business (including small business like trucking companies) as taxable income in order to pay for a tax credit for everyone just won't work.

If we keep agreein' like this, you'll be drivin' around Texas with an Obama sticker on your bumper in no time.:D

[Qikdraw]

Yes governments that try and tell people who they can date, or what they can, or cannot do to their own body is bad. No thanks.

[Boreas]

Is this what you really meant?


This bit of humor was written in April 1988 and appeared in the January 1989 issue of The Physics Teacher. William DeBuvitz is a physics professor at Middlesex County College in Edison, New Jersey (USA). He retired in June of 2000.
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by investigators at a major U.S. research university. The element, tentatively named administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization.
Research at other laboratories indicates that administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities. It can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings. Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising



Yes governments that try and tell people who they can date, or what they can, or cannot do to their own body is bad. No thanks.

And where they can and cannot travel, even if they are on a Canadian airplane flying OVER the US. No thanks.

Let's hope the next US administration remembers what freedom is, and what democracy really is.

[ki4kxq]

Yeah, the one I got is probably a version of the one you posted Boreas. Got mine off the Dave Ramsey website. He said he said he thought it was funny so put it up on his site for people to copy and send to their friends.

Both versions do tend to point out the cluelessness of any governmental agency really.

[Boreas]

I don't disagree with you ki4kxq. My problem is the total dismantling of services that are somehow provided by the government.

This province's child welfare is provided by the government. There are good and bad aspects of it. It is indeed slowed and bogged down because it is a government agency, and because its employees are government wogs. Another province has individual agencies that are funded by the government, and which have community boards to advise/direct them. These agencies tend to be more responsive to the community they serve. Their employees are one step down from the government.

Governments can help promote health of citizens by funding community groups to provide the services, with guidelines in place. If they can fund Wall street, they can help fund life skills training programs. The government does not have to actually run the programs in order to help provide them.

[ki4kxq]

I don't disagree with you ki4kxq. My problem is the total dismantling of services that are somehow provided by the government.

This province's child welfare is provided by the government. There are good and bad aspects of it. It is indeed slowed and bogged down because it is a government agency, and because its employees are government wogs. Another province has individual agencies that are funded by the government, and which have community boards to advise/direct them. These agencies tend to be more responsive to the community they serve. Their employees are one step down from the government.

Governments can help promote health of citizens by funding community groups to provide the services, with guidelines in place. If they can fund Wall street, they can help fund life skills training programs. The government does not have to actually run the programs in order to help provide them.


I think this has caused some of our disagreements before. I have little problem with states choosing to do social programs as they are directly responsible to the people who can easily vote them into or out of office. The federal government though, through our constitution, should not take on such items. I think we agree on the state's providing services as they are better at it and the decisions are made by the people footing the bill. That also means, the people can then pull the plug on such programs if they so desire. Can't really do that on the federal level. That's why our system is set up for the fed to be very small, however, our leaders of both parties have forgotten that.

However, California's entitlement program has bankrupted that state. Not only runaway entitlement spending, but spending to educate students who should not be there. Hospitals are going broke, treating those who should not be there.

Same thing with bailing out Wall Street and homeowners who bought homes they could not afford. None of the above should have been bailed out. This bailout was a sell out bill done in a state of panic. Good decisions never come out of a state of panic.

[Boreas]

This bailout was a sell out bill done in a state of panic. Good decisions never come out of a state of panic.

I agree. I was concerned when GWB brought out this bailout so soon after the crash or whatever. It could never have been thought out well, and would most certainly have consequences that were unforeseen.

Frankly, I believe that social problems need to be as grassroots as possible. Canada has traditionally had a system of transfer payments form the federal goverment to the provinces to do as they felt worked best for the province. Also, some groups have been able to get federal grants in order to provide local programs.

Canada and the US have some very different approaches to social programs. We have the Canada Health Act which sets out standards and guidelines about how healthcare is to be delivered. The Federal government provides some funding to the provinces and the provinces also provide funding to local levels. It can be a good system. Unfortunately, we have been switching to a corporate model of healthcare that only seems to measure success in terms of dollars and cents. I don't know about you, but I want my health to be measured by other factors if I am in contact with the hospital or healthcare system. We have gone to a regional model here and the local level had little input into delivery of services. It caused some big problems because this is a huge geographical area with a diverse set of needs. I understand they are putting things in place so the local people can decide what is needed and go from there.

The trouble with dualistic thinking is that the baby gets tossed out with the bathwater. It is not an all or nothing approach. I think that both the economist brains and the social service brains, or lefts and rights can provide valuable input into delivery of services and make something better than we have without ditching things. I have seen too many dumb choices made purely based on economics. I can probably think of dumbs thins done purely on emotion too.

[Qikdraw]

This bailout was a sell out bill done in a state of panic. Good decisions never come out of a state of panic.

Have you heard some banks are now considering NOT to ask for bailout money? The reason? Because of the CEO limits. So they'll continue to handicap the economy all because a few CEOs will not get their millions and millions of dollars for making bad decisions.

Obama made a good point last night, one I am sure if asked directly McCain would also be for. AIG execs went on a $400,000 vacation (http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20081007/pl_afp/financebankinginsuranceuscompanyaig_081007214334), after they got their 85 billion bailout. Obama called for that 400k to be given back into the fund to bail them out. Cause that is absolutely idiotic that they went splurging like that.

I don't think the taxpayers need to be paying for vacations for people that put us in this mess.

[nimrod]

The trouble with dualistic thinking is that the baby gets tossed out with the bathwater. It is not an all or nothing approach. I think that both the economist brains and the social service brains, or lefts and rights can provide valuable input into delivery of services and make something better than we have without ditching things. I have seen too many dumb choices made purely based on economics. I can probably think of dumbs thins done purely on emotion too.

How true. I have a cousin that is chalanged mentally and physically, my aunt has had many problems with the bleeding hearts that let emotions make decisions instead of finding out what is best for the people they are trying to help. There were times that my cousin would have lost her SSD because of these programs, and would have been worse off for it.

Then there are those who want to stop most of the programs that will help her because it is not in the budget.