Teen Talk: Naked sister makes brother uncomfortable

[NudonyII]

http://www.contracostatimes.com/ci_10845083?source=rss

Again, ill-dispensed advice from a therapist/columnist. She immediately "jumped up" and condemned the sister; without any consideration for the fact that the rest of the family seems perfectly okay with the sister's nudist proclivities. Her personal aversion to open nudity shows through her reply; which makes her response biased, and perhaps even unprofessional:
If your sister wants to be nude and natural then she can do it when she is alone, behind closed doors, and in her bedroom. End of story. At 17 years old, your sister needs to learn that parading herself around in front of both you and your younger sister in inappropriate.
and
Your reaction of being uncomfortable is normal, and your thoughts that this is not right sound healthy.

Yet, this story also underlines the need for proper communication.
It seems the mother and sister pretty much "blew off" the brother's discomfort. By simply listening and communicating openly, hopefully some sort of compromise might have been reached. But telling the sister to "keep it behind closed doors when she is alone" is about repression; and will do little to nothing to help the situation.

[nosockstoday]

Agreed, ill dispensed and extremely biased. I also agree with your statement that the mother and sister laghed it off instead of communicating. Perhaps mom thought it could take the place of a sex talk, who knows?

Never underestimate the power of positive communication.

[Centauri4]

I find nothing therapeutic about the advice Ms. Richardson dispensed in this instance, unless the newspaper took extensive editorial license with the story and omitted many of the details. Instead of educating the young man on the many possible reasons for such behavior, it appears as though this particular licensed therapist is not imaginative, helpful or very experienced. The story serves as an excellent example how a university degree and state license may not translate into useful guidance and perhaps this also serves to educate the public at large to remain skeptical when beginning psychotherapeutic counseling. I have seen far better responses from the likes of Ann Landers and Dear Abby, so at least this Correspondent has something to aspire to.

~

[Ken Palmer]

Hello Hudony II. I guess I have a question on this matter. Regarding the therapist, does is sound like she is a nudist herself? It doesn't sound like it to me. I would imagine that is why she gave the reply she did to the brother. Considering the mother "laughed or blew off" the incident(s) with the 17-year old girl's nudity, I am wondering if she herself is a nudist. But even if that is the case, it sounds like there is still a problem there. The brother is obvioulsy uncomfortable with his older sister's nudity. I am avoiding taking sides and am choosing to be impartial instead if you don't mind. But I would think there is definitely a communication problem between the son and mother/older sister. Even though I myself am a nudist, I don't know if I would want to push my practices upon someone else who is not comfortable. I am not saying she should remain behind closed doors as the therapist did. But maybe there should quite possibly be some sort of a compromise somehow. You'll have to excuse me, but I do not have a family of my own. Therefore, it is difficult for me to jump in and give a quick and decisive answer to resolve this situation. All I can do is give my unbiased inexperienced opinion. I hope this post was worth contributing on this subject.

Ken Palmer



http://www.contracostatimes.com/ci_10845083?source=rss

Again, ill-dispensed advice from a therapist/columnist. She immediately "jumped up" and condemned the sister; without any consideration for the fact that the rest of the family seems perfectly okay with the sister's nudist proclivities. Her personal aversion to open nudity shows through her reply; which makes her response biased, and perhaps even unprofessional:
If your sister wants to be nude and natural then she can do it when she is alone, behind closed doors, and in her bedroom. End of story. At 17 years old, your sister needs to learn that parading herself around in front of both you and your younger sister in inappropriate.
and
Your reaction of being uncomfortable is normal, and your thoughts that this is not right sound healthy.

Yet, this story also underlines the need for proper communication.
It seems the mother and sister pretty much "blew off" the brother's discomfort. By simply listening and communicating openly, hopefully some sort of compromise might have been reached. But telling the sister to "keep it behind closed doors when she is alone" is about repression; and will do little to nothing to help the situation.

[Centauri4]

The older sister could have been more understanding of the brother's discomfort and at least acknowledged his feelings in the matter and discussed the issue a bit. So there is an opportunity lost here on her part as well; one of bonding and understanding as well as preparing the younger brother for the future.

After all, what exactly about the sister's nudity makes him uncomfortable? It seems as though she did not care to find out or even make an attempt to understand him, and there MAY be reasons why he feels as though this is a problem or behavior needing to be out of sight. If the brother is uncomfortable with nudity in general or more specifically female nudity, then it is possible he has little experience with members of the opposite sex and is immature for his age (15).

The brother may even have unresolved hostility towards all the female members of his family depending on what events precipitated the divorce of his parents.

~

[Bobby Hill]

Let us all send letters to author !

[David77]

there MAY be reasons why he feels as though this is a problem or behavior needing to be out of sight. If the brother is uncomfortable with nudity in general or more specifically female nudity, then it is possible he has little experience with members of the opposite sex and is immature for his age (15).
~

Maybe the brother is worried about getting an erection when he views his sister. He may not be accustomed to female nudity as nudist are, and may get unwanted feelings, - what some psychologists call "psychological incest". If he were more used to female nudity in the home, he may probably pass it off as uneventful and emotionally unthreating.

[jon71]

A little more communication would be great but otherwise this "therapist" blew the call.

[bernardc]

Its all an issue of body shame again.The parents most propably put that boy in that stae,or there is an underlying cause thats not revealed.

[Home Nudist]

There are 2 issues here, the closed-mindedness of the therapist/columnist and the fact that this family is sorely in need of communication.

However, why am I hearing most people here advocate the right of the sister to be nude, without regard to the brother's feelings? As Ken Palmer alluded, isn't it one of the things we advocate here that we NOT force our preference to be nude on others? Now, it's her RIGHT to be nude and his feelings don't matter?

And as David alluded, what 15 year old male, whose body is raging with hormones, would not be "uncomfortable" around his 17 year-old sister, when HE hasn't been raised to see nudity as casual?

I don't see any underlying mystery or psychological problem here. I think most of you are missing the boat and just being militant about the right to be naked.

The family should work out a compromise.

[nimrod]

Home, the problem is that in the "compramise", we the nudist usually recieve nothing. We have to make sure that they do not see us, we have to stay hidden, we can only be nude when and where they see fit, that is the way it is now and after the compramise. I try not to delibrately offend anyone, but I do believe that offence is in the eye of the beholder and if it were not for legal reasons I would be nude where others would see me if they were offended or not.

Should there be more communication? Yes, of course, but that does not mean that she should give up doing what she is doing. I have to question if the boy is exaggetating about the mother laughing it off. She may not have been aware of how much this affected the boy and answered his concern lightly, but that does not mean she did not try to listen.

[Home Nudist]

Home, the problem is that in the "compramise", we the nudist usually recieve nothing. We have to make sure that they do not see us, we have to stay hidden, we can only be nude when and where they see fit, that is the way it is now and after the compramise. I try not to delibrately offend anyone, but I do believe that offence is in the eye of the beholder and if it were not for legal reasons I would be nude where others would see me if they were offended or not.

Should there be more communication? Yes, of course, but that does not mean that she should give up doing what she is doing. I have to question if the boy is exaggetating about the mother laughing it off. She may not have been aware of how much this affected the boy and answered his concern lightly, but that does not mean she did not try to listen.

I agree that we don't have all the facts about this family. I also agree that most of the "compromise" results in the nudist having to cover up. Unfortunately, being a textile is considered the "norm" and the majority. Being the nudist is not.

However, in numerous threads, most people agree that (other than the threat of arrest) the reason they choose NOT to answer the door naked is to be respectful and not offend the person on the other side of the door.

Likewise, most people agree that if nudity offends parents or parents-in-law, out of respect and to keep relationships harmonious, they would retain some modesty, or at least, reach some kind of compromise. (There's that word again.) (By the way, there are grown adults here who say they can't even admit to their parents that they are nudists.)

So, I fail to see what the difference is between the 15 year old male and his 17 year old female sibling. If nudists believe in not foisting their nude selves on others, shouldn't the same efforts and respect apply to people under the same roof?

I think people are offended by the therapist's stance (and rightly so) that nudity, itself, is inappropriate (Period!) and, people are reacting to that, rather than to the boy's feelings.

Similar to the old erection debates, should the boy be made to feel uncomfortable because his older sister is allowed to go around the house nude? Nudity is natural. Yet, it's redundant to say that a lot of things are normal and natural, but we do them in private so as not to offend others or make them uncomfortable.

I'm just saying that there are two sides. Can't anyone else see the boy's position?

Sure, the girl has the right to be naked -- if the mother allows it under her roof. But, the boy has rights, also. They really need to work it out so that they can find a way to live in harmony. Telling the girl to stay in her room isn't the answer. Nor is having the boy exposed to something he admits he finds embarrassing.

[Fitz1980]

I have to side with the sister and mother in this one. Namely because I feel that the sister's right to feel comfortable in her own home outweighs her brothers "right" to not see something that makes him uncomfortable. Also the columnist uses the term "parading" to describe the naked sister. On what planet is a walk to the kitchen by an individual to get a glass of water before going to bed a parade?

[jon71]

As the guy becomes more accustomed to this he'll be more comfortable. In time he won't even notice if his sister is dressed or not.

[Qikdraw]

I'm just saying that there are two sides. Can't anyone else see the boy's position?

Sure, the girl has the right to be naked -- if the mother allows it under her roof. But, the boy has rights, also. They really need to work it out so that they can find a way to live in harmony. Telling the girl to stay in her room isn't the answer. Nor is having the boy exposed to something he admits he finds embarrassing.

I'm on your side. It seems to me that because nudists have been 'persecuted' that they are unwilling to bed in some cases, as you see here. They are for the sister and her rights trump her brother's rights. I don't agree with that. Both have the same rights, they both live under the same roof, and need to find some way to be comfortable. Which may mean the brother trys nusidm a few times himself to understand what his sister likes about it. If he is still uncomfortable then his sister needs to comprimise too.

[Fitz1980]

Quik that's where you and I differ. You see their rights as equal, I do not. Namely because the sister's right is for something that she's doing herself while the brother's right is how he feels about something that the sister is doing herself, not about something that he's doing himself.

It kind of makes me feel that it's that same false dichotomy that opponents of gay marriage use. Namely they feel that their "right" to not see men kissing or to know that gays can leave assets to partners after they die is someone equal to the desire of gay people to live their lives as they choose with a partner of their choosing.

[Home Nudist]

I have to side with the sister and mother in this one. Namely because I feel that the sister's right to feel comfortable in her own home outweighs her brothers "right" to not see something that makes him uncomfortable.

OK. Fair enough. But, using this logic, a man with a non-sexual erection shouldn't have to hide it, because the simple sight of it makes some women uncomfortable. What's good for the goose.......

But, I don't want to open that bag of worms! :p

Also the columnist uses the term "parading" to describe the naked sister. On what planet is a walk to the kitchen by an individual to get a glass of water before going to bed a parade?

As I said, the attitude of the columnist --it's inflammatory -- is coloring the entire issue.

[Fitz1980]

OK. Fair enough. But, using this logic, a man with a non-sexual erection shouldn't have to hide it, because the simple sight of it makes some women uncomfortable. What's good for the goose.......


Well I actually agree on that too. I do think that he shouldn't flaunt it but sometimes things pop up and I don't think it's a problem any more than if a woman's nips get hard because of a cool breeze or for no reason at all. I used to have a girl roommate who's nips were almost always hard, nothing to do with the temperature or her state of arousal. All of her bras were padded, not to make her boobs look bigger (she was very well endowed) but so that her nips didn't show through. NOTE she did that because she chose to so as not to hear things about it from guys. I feel that if she wanted to go around braless that should be acceptable too and any people who had a problem with her prominent nips should just have to suck it up and move on.

[NudonyII]

The brother may even have unresolved hostility towards all the female members of his family depending on what events precipitated the divorce of his parents.

~

Aha...a very good point; I think you're definitely touching on something there. Let's think about this for a moment; the brother is now, at 15, apparently the only male figure in a household comprised of three females. Perhaps a bit overwhelming for him. He may very well be wrestling with feelings of abandonment, resentment and separation from the family unit.

His sister's nudity is the physical manifestation of his difference from the rest of the family. He finds it oppressive because it is a reminder that he is now the only family member with a penis; and that as such he is alone; maybe even powerless - as his sister and mother broadly dismissed his discomfort.

Of course, this is just a theory; but I think it is a sensible given the circumstances. I think what the mother needs to do, as the head of household, is "empower" her son by giving him an adequate amount of say-so in household management. By "adequate", he cannot tell his sister she can or can't go nude; he's not the head of household, so that is not his place. But the mother could, for example, allow him to to establish personal guidelines about home nudity, which then could be discussed with the sister, in order to reach some form of compromise. "Friday night family discussion time", when every family member sits at the dinner table and discuss events and issues is a great way of doing this.

[Ren]

I emailed the writer of the column that she gave knee jerk advice and should have told them to have a real conversation about it. Otherwise she is transferring the discomfort of the boy onto the girl, which makes no sense. Maybe he'll grow comfortable with it if he feels he's at least being heard. And maybe she'll be sensitive to him, as well. This advice was ridiculous, and I would never send a child to see her. Sounds really diplomatic!

[Home Nudist]

Originally Posted by Centauri4
The brother may even have unresolved hostility towards all the female members of his family depending on what events precipitated the divorce of his parents.


Aha...a very good point; I think you're definitely touching on something there. Let's think about this for a moment; the brother is now, at 15, apparently the only male figure in a household comprised of three females. Perhaps a bit overwhelming for him. He may very well be wrestling with feelings of abandonment, resentment and separation from the family unit.

His sister's nudity is the physical manifestation of his difference from the rest of the family. He finds it oppressive because it is a reminder that he is now the only family member with a penis; and that as such he is alone; maybe even powerless - as his sister and mother broadly dismissed his discomfort.

With all due respect and for the sake of discussion, I think it's quite a leap to psychoanalyze the boy with such little information.

Why can't it be as simple as that the boy, who is not accustomed to social nudity, is simply embarrassed to see his sister nude, or to the extreme (and not so extreme), afraid of getting an erection? This seems very simple and reasonable to me. Are nudists so accustomed to, and blase about, the naked body that they can't empathize with such textile feelings?

People are all different and have different sensitivities. You can't expect the boy to be as blase about nudity as we are. It's just not realistic, especially at his age.

What's more, you read a lot today about male modesty in an all male locker room. Some young men even admit to the fear of erections in such situations. Some here even admit to becoming erect when ALONE at the beginning of their nudist journey. It's not all that uncommon. So, assuming this might be part of the boy's concern (normal for a 15 year-old) what's so difficult (I was going to write "hard"!) about understanding this boy's problem, without labeling him dysfunctional?

And, if mother really blew him off (no pun intended) over his concerns, then she's in line for some parenting classes. Keeping in mind that we all develop at different levels, the kid is still a minor, and it may be many more years before he can handle situations like this on his own. Till then, he needs a parent's support. Unfortunately, he writes that there is no dad in the house. Wonder if dad is even in the picture.

PS - Where is Stu when you need him ? !!! :p

[Liam C]

I pretty much agree with nimrod. My thoughts on the subject:

1. The newspaper advice person was very wrong.

2. No one has a RIGHT to not be offended.

3. If, as some suggest, he might be embarassed about an erection....remember that HE is dressed so who would know besides him.

4. I don't believe for a second that any young teen male would seriously object to seeing a young female nude even if she is his sister.

[JeepNude]

Home, the problem is that in the "compramise", we the nudist usually recieve nothing. We have to make sure that they do not see us, we have to stay hidden, we can only be nude when and where they see fit, that is the way it is now and after the compramise.


You are SO right on this one, I added to your forum reputation!

I had a similar situation with my in-laws showing up at my home demanding I dress with 'at least shorts' as a 'compromise'. I finally had to make my wife angry and use an iron fist approach. I said if they want to come over, they do NOT tell me how to look in my home. When I visit them, I will dress in their home. Now, they don't come over if I am home and nude. THAT's a compromise!

In this case, I would have to side with the Mom, regardless of the sisters or the son. The Mom says it is OK, then it is. Mom now needs to sit the kids down and tell them that is the verdict, deal with it. End of story. If Mom ever changes her mind, then so be it. It is her house, her rules, her responsibility, and for the son to tell the Mom she wrong is fine, but he needs to respect her decision and her rules.

See? Compromise!

[NudeAl]

I agree why is it that the nudist has to compromise? Is that the polite way to say give in as in compromise their ideals and their wishes? I think there has been ENOUGH of that! It is HIGH TIME we stood up for our rights. After all it is they who have the problem with our state of dress, not us with them.

[Bob S.]

Just because someone is a licensed therapist does not mean that they do not have biases. This lady, Kelly Richardson, merely used her research to find reasons not to agree with family nudity.

I agree with others here that there is a basic lack of communication and respect here. A compromise may be certain times she is allowed to be naked around the house and always from bedroom to bathroom.

I think people who write in to advice columnists do so with the expectations that the columnist will agree with them. In this case, he chose right even though the advice is terribly one-sided and does not consider anyone else in the household.

Bob S.

[NudonyII]

With all due respect and for the sake of discussion, I think it's quite a leap to psychoanalyze the boy with such little information.

PS - Where is Stu when you need him ? !!! :p

No hurt feelings here. I was merely offering one possible angle to the situation. You may very well be right in your assessment; perhaps the boy's problem is with seeing a nude body - plain and simple. When I was 15, my Mom decided to embrace top-freedom; which she just sort of "sprung on me" out of the blue. I was nowhere near ready to face it - mentally or emotionally - so the situation angered me a bit. Of course in hindsight I know it was a non-issue; but back then I found it "discomforting". So it a "quandery" I am not unfamiliar with.

Stu? Don't we already know what he would say? He would definitely side 100% with the therapist.:D

[Naturist Mark]

Since when did parents become irrelevant?

Kids don't get to be home nudists if their parents don't allow it. Kids don't get to prohibit home nudism if their parents do allow it.

[JeepNude]

That's what I said. Mom's rules allow sis to be nude, then those are the rules, period. As long as laws are not being broken, mom's rules are the rules, and the kids need to obey.

[nakedstudent]

It might be speculative but I think I'm probably pretty accurate when I say the following:

1. The original writer is a male.

2. The kid was 15 so he was probably too embarrassed to tell the whole truth.

I'm thinking this might be one of those erection issues. The kid used words like "embarrassed" and "uncomfortable". As a 15 year old kid who has worn clothes all of his life, I could sympathise with the embarrassment that would come from feeling excited to see an older sister naked.

This could be avoided if the brother was more open about what (specifically) about his sister's nudity was offensive and if there was a structured, concerted, family effort to address the concerns and correct any misconceptions.

I think it's wrong for the girl to brush her brother off as a prude without addressing her mentality or re-affirming the family's value system by setting ground rules for the situation.

This is an instance where the daughter's desire to be nude was accepted but the acceptance was not taught to the rest of the family. Parents these days do a horrible job of passing on values to their children.

[Borntobenude]

Hmmm. I thought I recalled seeing a letter pertaining to nudity in this therapist's column before, and was trying to remember what her response was. Looking through my files there was an article on January 4, 2002 regarding sleeping nude:

Dear Kelly,
I’m 16 and my mother just found out I have been sleeping nude. She says it’s “immoral” and she’s going to check and make sure I’m wearing something to bed.

I think this is ridiculous. I find it the most comfortable way to sleep. What difference does it make what I have on (or don’t have on) under the covers? Nobody sees me this way except my sister, who is 13 and shares a room with me, and she doesn’t care since we’re sisters. Do you think there is something wrong with this?
-- Not Immoral

Dear NI,
Immoral? That’s a strong word. Personally, I think there are many worse things you could be doing that would constitute immoral behavior. Sleeping in the buff is an issue of comfort, not morals.

While snoozing nude makes you comfortable, it freaks out your mom. And since it’s her home and she probably has concerns about your little sister, I think you might need to compromise on this one.

Go on a mission to find something you are comfortable to sleep in. A soft T-shirt, satin jammies, camisole--whatever floats your boat.

When you move out, you can sleep “au naturel” without offending your mom.

[brainyguy9999]

That's what I said. Mom's rules allow sis to be nude, then those are the rules, period. As long as laws are not being broken, mom's rules are the rules, and the kids need to obey.


I was going to post earlier, but just now getting around to it...

How many times have we on this board advised those closet nudist kids that they need to abide by their parents rules while living at home? When they move out and have their own place, they can make their own rules. But while under your parent(s) roof, you abide by their rules. Period.

I think the same applies here. The mother has made the rules. If the boy doesn't like seeing his sister "parading" around nude, then he can go into his room and close the door. Problem solved.

I think the columnist is WAY out of line to say that the mother should change her household rules to be in line with what the columnist thinks they should be. The columnist should have advised the boy to speak with his mother and sister about finding a solution so they are all happy. If that can't be done, then the boy can remain behind closed doors so he isn't offended by the nudity.

Why is it that the "compromise" is always that nudists have to be locked away? When nudism is acceptable in a household, why not lock away the textiles who are offended?

Stay nude!!

bg

[Ren]

I'm thinking this might be one of those erection issues. The kid used words like "embarrassed" and "uncomfortable". As a 15 year old kid who has worn clothes all of his life, I could sympathise with the embarrassment that would come from feeling excited to see an older sister naked.

I think there is danger in speculating about one person's own experience and that it's a path best left untrodden. Otherwise we can make up all sorts of stories rather than accept the story that's before our eyes as the truth --- and it is the one truth we have.

[Borntobenude]

I think there is danger in speculating about one person's own experience and that it's a path best left untrodden. Otherwise we can make up all sorts of stories rather than accept the story that's before our eyes as the truth --- and it is the one truth we have.

Definitely true.

[nakedstudent]

I think there is danger in speculating about one person's own experience and that it's a path best left untrodden. Otherwise we can make up all sorts of stories rather than accept the story that's before our eyes as the truth --- and it is the one truth we have.

To be honest, I don't care what the true cause of the discomfort that the boy is feeling. What I do care about is the fact that he (and many other children these days) don't feel comfortable talking about things with their parents and that their parents don't recognize the discomfort and do their job.

[Daveinct]

What if the sister carries a cowbell with her whenever she was on parade? When the brother hears the bell approaching, he can close his eyes.

Dave

[naked in NH]

I agree with the posts that stress family respect and communication. This is the key, and should be at the heart of anyone's brand of so-called 'family values' we hear about ad nauseum here in the USA. Whether 'mom's rules reign" is beside the point (and I agree that most parents are terrible at communicating and setting boundaries); when a naked or a clothed sibling needs to stay behind closed doors, as some here suggest, there is something wrong. If family members choose sides to band together to rule the roost, there is something wrong. And if one member is cast aside without anyone talking with him, there is a problem. I do agree that the therapist missed all this. Many therapists, I find, are clueless about issues relating to sexuality, and especially nudism (many likely grew up in households similar to the majority of us).

This issue shouldn't be a matter of textile vs. nudist, and who comes out victorious. This is a simple example of a disfunctional family unit. As a nudist myself, I empathize with the brother, simply because nobody seems to be valuing his thoughts and input. I also question whether there is an incestuous motivation on the part of the mother and/or sister.

Of course none of us know the whole story, so any opinion, including mine, is based solely on conjecture. One thing I do notice, however, throughout all the posts is the assumption that the boy is heterosexual. This is a common societal assumption, something everyone jumps to, and this assumption informs reasons why the boy may be 'uncomfortable' around a naked female, sister or otherwise. Shocking, I know, but not every boy is turned on by the naked female form. I for one would have been curious, but not turned on necessarily, and likewise would likely have been branded as a 'late-bloomer'. I imagine there is no worse insult in a teenage mind than being called a late-bloomer.

[Home Nudist]

To be honest, I don't care what the true cause of the discomfort that the boy is feeling. What I do care about is the fact that he (and many other children these days) don't feel comfortable talking about things with their parents and that their parents don't recognize the discomfort and do their job.

I agree.

The issue here, in my opinion, ISN'T the rights of the nudist over the rights of the textile. The mother has TWO children. BOTH have needs which have to be accommodated.

I think we all agree that this family needs to COMMUNIATE. To simply say, "Nude rules because Mom said so" oversimplifies the situation, in my opinion. It's also simply militant and one-sided because we are nudists.

[Nude in the North]

I'm not going to speculate on the family dynamics in this boys home. I do agree there needs to be more communication. But that's true in most every family these days.

My issue is with all these "Advice" columns that fill people with such strange opinions.
There ought to be some sort of monitoring of these people. So often they give narrowminded, onesided advice to real people that need better guidence.

It seems that everything boils down to the "toilet seat" analogy.
If someone doesn't like what your doing, YOU have to change.
Why don't women have to leave the toilet seat up to make sure the guys don't pee on it?
Why do nude people have to cover up so as not to make others uncomfortable?

Rather than creating a world where nobody can do what they enjoy because it might offend somebody, We should be creating a world where diversity and acceptance go hand in hand.

I would tell the boy, "We're not making you be naked, Don't make her be dressed."

[naturalmanwa]

Wow! I have been reading the comments, and they are VERY GOOD! I agree there is a breakdown in family communication here or perhaps the mother has already told the son to "live with it" and he is going for outside help from a non-qualified source.

[Fitz1980]

What if the sister carries a cowbell with her whenever she was on parade? When the brother hears the bell approaching, he can close his eyes.

Dave

"Guess what???? I've got a fever and the only prescription is MOREA COWBELL!!!!!!!!"

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[nakedstudent]

I agree.

The issue here, in my opinion, ISN'T the rights of the nudist over the rights of the textile. The mother has TWO children. BOTH have needs which have to be accommodated.

I think we all agree that this family needs to COMMUNIATE. To simply say, "Nude rules because Mom said so" oversimplifies the situation, in my opinion. It's also simply militant and one-sided because we are nudists.

The disturbing part of the story is that the son doesn't feel comfortable talking to his own parent and sister about the acceptance of nudity in the home. I can relate, but I'd never go to the point of writing to an advice columnist. Maybe it's just because my position is opposite of his.

[Home Nudist]

I had a similar situation with my in-laws showing up at my home demanding I dress with 'at least shorts' as a 'compromise'. I finally had to make my wife angry and use an iron fist approach. I said if they want to come over, they do NOT tell me how to look in my home. When I visit them, I will dress in their home. Now, they don't come over if I am home and nude. THAT's a compromise!

At the risk of beating a dead horse, Jeep, I remember your story and I supported you, saying your in-laws were out of order. Yes, your house, your rules. Your in-laws don't live there and have no rights. But, you can't compare your in-laws to this kid. HE lives there. It's his domain, too. As a minor (and I would assume, a dependent) he can't very well move out. Maybe he doesn't pay the bills, but he has to have some rights to space and personal comfort.

Yes, parents make rules concerning health, safety, and curfews. Their house, their rules. Kids have to abide by that. But, if mom decides that they're all going to sit around naked, does the kid have to accept it? That just seems a little over the top to me.

And, what about CPS? I don't need to tell you how paranoid everyone is about nudity. You can't even take a naked picture of your toddler and have it developed at Wal-Mart. Supposing this kid mentions his concerns to a teacher. Couldn't that trigger a visit from Child Protection?

That said, we really don't know the entire story. If Sis is just going from her room to the bathroom, no big deal. The kid should simply get over it or look the other way. If, on the other hand, she's lounging around the living room spread-eagle, I think some boundaries need to be set -- by the mother.

It all goes back to parental responsibility and the respect nudists profess to have, not to offend.