Living with children

[simonsebs]

Living with children (http://www.sanluisobispo.com/living/family_relationships/story/593991.html)

Read and respond.

[Lord Drakkus]

The fact that the mother was so worried about this that she had to consult a "therapist," says a lot about who she is...

But the fact that the "therapist" just assumed that the problem was the child says quite a bit about how the dictators of "societal norms" are affecting the world. A therapist is supposed to be able to see through the facade that people and society create and get to the bottom of the real issue. Instead of stating that being Nude is, in fact, healthy both physically and mentally, she made up "The Doctor" and had this mother use that to trick her daughter into wearing clothing.

It's actually a very offensive story! I wonder... If there were more studies regarding the subject of clothes-compulsiveness and it's effects on mental health, would this story have turned out differently? I think it would. But scientists in general also just take clothing so much for granted that they don't even think of doing the study in the first place.

[Fitz1980]

The whole thing struck me as rather disturbing to be honest. If the positions were reversed but using the same advice what would be the reaction. If it were a nudist mother trying to find a way to entice her kid into going to a nudist resort or skinny dip in the backyard pool what would people say?

If she gives you any resistance while you're helping her get dressed, you simply say, "I guess we'll have to try this another day." Do not make any attempt to persuade, entice, bribe, or cajole her into wearing clothes. At the first sign of resistance, simply disengage and walk away.

That part I must say is interesting from a position of psychological manipulation and balance of power angle to be sure. At the end of the day given that they are the kids and you are the parent, parenting should be psychological manipulation to try to get your kids to actually want to do "the right thing" rather than just do it because of fear of punishment or in anticipation of a bribe. Fear of punishment only works up to them just sneaking around behind your back and bribery only reinforces how important something is to you enough for them to learn blackmail where they start holding that behavior over your head to get what they want. Interesting stuff and makes me glad that I don't have kids yet (I do want them some day) since I really would have no idea what to do in those kind of situations.

[NudeAl]

I wonder how many budding nudists are permannently discouraged in this way. If we could only get these parents to see simple household nudity is no big deal we would imporve our chances of having future generations of nudists. I've raised four kids of my own and when they wanted to run around nude it was never an issue. I think it ingrains in their minds the fact that simple nudity is a non issue. That would go a long way to promoting the nudist vision of the future. The sad fact is that in this country today nudity is viewed as nearly the same thing as being a sexual deviant. Sad very sad.

[Aardvark]

I realize that, as a single male without kids, there's an awful lot about parenting I don't know. And yet, I have to wonder why one would have to "invent" an authority figure to be "the heavy." And it seems to be a need which is prevalent enough that the use is common and suggested by the therapist for more families. Are we so desperate for our kids to *like* us 24/7 that we can't be seen as contradicting them? Or is this an issue of child-development psychology about which I'm just clueless?

[barebuns]

excellent reply to the article by traisjames

[Boreas]

I agree that traisjames had an excellent response, in fact, I am also going to check Wickipedia for the entry on bras that he mentioned.

I also found the need to invent an authority figure to use with a 3 year old to be disturbing. Can't the mother teach the child about wearing clothes in certain spots without the use of an imaginary doctor?

[alfredr]

Actually, this ties into something I was just thinking about.

As nudists we always complain about the 'nudity = sex' attitude being the problem with nudity/nudism being accepted, but I think there is also, and prior to, 'nudity = sex' a perception that 'nudity/lack of clothing = primitive, uncivilized, poverty' and 'clothing = advanced, civilized, prosperous.'

So this child had to be persuaded that to participate in civilized society (the rest of the household, outside world) she needed to use appropriate clothing. She still gets to be uncivilized in her own room and apparently still is. (The update only talks about going someplace special, maybe the parents didn't even restrict her to her room?) So she isn't totally stifled.

'The Doctor' is used as an authority figure representing 'Civilized Society' at large, and apparently children have learned to respect doctors' 'knowledge' as surpassing a parent's "because I said so."

For the rest of us, 'lack of clothing = uncivilized' may be our first obstacle too. After that comes the, 'In a civilized (which means we wear clothes) society, nudity must be about sex' attitude.

[Pete Knight]

I find it very disturbing that someone is encouraging a parent to lie to their child with a the use of an imaginary therapist, but has no one stopped to consider that the child may have a medical problem with tight fitting clothing. From the article it appears that the child's main concern is clothing around the crotch area, this rings alarm bells for me, so instead of forcing her to wear clothes the mother should be trying to understand why she doesn't like underwear or anything other than loose fitting trousers, and is quite happy with a dress or skirt without underwear, or even loose fitting trousers.

The signs are there, read 'em.

Pete Knight

[Sigmund]

The whole issue is standard John Rosemond, including "The Doctor", who is trotted out to solve all sorts of problems, not just nudity issues.

[walter05]

Aardvark;

FIrst, you are exactly correct. As a parent of six kids, I am the authority figure. I don't need to invent one.

Pete;

You are absolutely correct also. As a parent, I instruct my kids, set rules, and provide for consequences.

When they don't agree, I tell them they must do that any way because I am the father.

Having to rely on someone else and lie to one's kids to con them does not teach them anything but how to con.

[Being-veggie-being]

I can only agree with the previouse poster.

Such profound wisdom.

What you have stated is very clear and precise.

Now if only two parents can agree and not counteract each other!

[liberalal]

When i clicked on the article notation in your query it advised that it was not
available. I tried to locate it through the archives, but was unsuccessful.
Is it possible to source this article some other way? Thanks.