To raise a nudist (companion thread to "were u born...")

[Centauri4]

I was reading some of the really interesting and diverse answers to the other, long-standing thread "were u born into a nudist family" and later in the morning this made me think... "Hmmm, what would be the best way to introduce nudism TO a new family?"

So, here is the idea and I hope it will inspire some deep thinking, thoughtful and creative answers:


Setting and Family Environment:

If you were going to introduce Nudism to a new family situation, what would be your opening line?

How does the answer change if there is only one male child?

How does the answer change if there is only one female child?

Does the answer change for a mixed setting including at least one brother and one sister?

Would you begin by first explaining the philosophy of living (or recreational activity) to a significant other? If not, why not? Does explaining it to the entire family seem easier?


Important points:

What would be the top five things (or six, or seven) you want your family members to know about Nudism?

Would there be ground rules in the household governing when and where family members may be nude? (e.g. bedroom only, family room only, backyard only or on weekends only?)

Would a video presentation such as, 'Welcome to our World' be used during the first discussion?

Would a particular book or magazine be presented to the family as an example of Nudist Living and if so, which one?

Are video tapes of European origin suitable for use or could they sets children's expectations to high? (e.g. is the attitude and diversity of activities overly encouraging and might that lead to initial disappointment in children?)

What instructions on explaining Nudism to the friends of your children would you give? Are there any specific "points" or phrases you would like them to learn to repeat and rely on as "very important"?

Should a visit to a clothing-optional beach be a high priority for acclimating children?

Should a visit to a nudist campground or resort be a high priority for acclimating children?


Social Issue Outside the Family:

Is there a way to Draft or create a letter to a school Principal or Guidance Counselor to prepare them for any questions that may arise in reference to your children? If so, what should it defintiely include?

Would you make informing a children's school a priority or wait for several months, perhaps for an entire school year or summer break to pass, before sending in such a letter? (this would be to use a 'wait and see' type approach)

Would a physical education teacher be a better or worse person to open this type of issue? (e.g. someone likely to also be involved in your child's physical development education)


It is my hope that some of the answers will be useful to young couples approaching the age where a family is about to happen, a child is on the way, or children have recently arrived. Whether the family has a long standing tradition of casual nudity or the practice of Social Nudism *may* be a factor, so I feel there is a lot of room for variety and creativity in peoples' answers.

Single parents are encouraged to reply as well, but perhaps the answer could include a searchable keyword such as ABASP (Answer By A Single Parent).

Best wishes to all and thanks in advance for your answers!

~

[NudonyII]

Wow! What a plethora of questions!shocked
I'll give it a shot with my opinion; and then my own personal experiences - and some that were related to me (in brackets).

Setting and Family Environment:

If you were going to introduce Nudism to a new family situation, what would be your opening line?
Home or recreational nudism? Let's say home. There are also other variables such as the ages of the children, which makes a notable difference. So we'll say toddlers - because it's easiest. And we'll also say that the family is receptive; again, because a reluctant or adverse family makes the situation that much more complicated.

I recommend leading by example. Sleeping nude, walking from the bedroom to the bathroom nude or leaving the bathroom door open will send a clear indication of one's preference for nudity to the family members. Toddlers will often see this as a "green light" to go nude themselves. Then it is just a matter of openly voicing something that everyone has already figured out at that point. The spouse should always be the first person approached. And I recommend having a nudist book, movie or mag in hand while doing so. "Honey, I have something I'd like to show you; and I need your honest opinion" is good enough. If the spouse is receptive, then it is just a matter of talking to the kids, in a fun and open manner. "Kids...I thought we'd play the Wii together tonight...and how about trying with no clothes on!" With toddlers, it would definitely be that simple.
(I slept nude, lounged around the house nude, and my then-girlfiend gradually and occasionally did the same. When I sat a copy of "N" on her lap one evening, not only was in not a surprise, but she was receptive. We subsequently decided that wearing clothes in the evenings was unnecessary)

How does the answer change if there is only one male child?
Not necessarily.
(Although a friend of mine told me that her son was much more inclined to being nude if she was rather than her husband)

How does the answer change if there is only one female child?
Perhaps let the mother bring it up to the daughter. They have a tighter bond when they're the only women in the house.
(My daughter was born into a clothesfree household; as a toddler she went nude regardless of which parent she was with. But as she grew older, she began patterning her nude habits after her mother.)

Does the answer change for a mixed setting including at least one brother and one sister?
I would say no. Depending also on the ages involved.
(Another nudist friend brought up nudism to her teenage son and daughter. The daughter embraced home nudity, the son shyed away from it - and took issue with seeing is sister's nudity. In that case, they probably required different approaches/conversations. But a nudist father with young boy and girl once told me that there was virtually no difference in his approach to his kids. There were no questions about each other, and they were both unhesitant to disrobe.)

Would you begin by first explaining the philosophy of living (or recreational activity) to a significant other? If not, why not? Does explaining it to the entire family seem easier?
Yes, I believe you should start with the spouse. See above.


Important points:

What would be the top five things (or six, or seven) you want your family members to know about Nudism?
It's about having fun and should never be a stressful experience.
It's ok to see Mom and Dad nude.
Nudity is strictly when Mom and Dad are there.
Our kid(s) will be just fine seeing other people nude
The nudist resort is a controlled environment. Nothing to be afraid of that can't be handled by management..

Would there be ground rules in the household governing when and where family members may be nude? (e.g. bedroom only, family room only, backyard only or on weekends only?)
No boundaries; only "if Mom and Dad are there too."
(There were no rules at my home)

Would a video presentation such as, 'Welcome to our World' be used during the first discussion?
Tried, tested and recommended.

Would a particular book or magazine be presented to the family as an example of Nudist Living and if so, which one?
Magazines are illustrated, and having a mental picture of nudists in their element gives a better idea of what it's all about. "N" would do just fine.
("N" is what I used with my wife)

Are video tapes of European origin suitable for use or could they sets children's expectations to high? (e.g. is the attitude and diversity of activities overly encouraging and might that lead to initial disappointment in children?)
The problem with these videos is that their focus on children and their activities is not representative of how nudism is practiced in the western world. There are other videos that incorporate children playing where it's not the center.

What instructions on explaining Nudism to the friends of your children would you give? Are there any specific "points" or phrases you would like them to learn to repeat and rely on as "very important"?
I recommend caution in this matter. It is safer to simply not discuss it at all.

Should a visit to a clothing-optional beach be a high priority for acclimating children?
No. Too many uncontrollable variables at the nude beach. And not a strong sense of community.

Should a visit to a nudist campground or resort be a high priority for acclimating children?
Absolutely. If the child(ren) knows only home nudity, there will be a sense of disconnect with the rest of the world. Seeing nude children their age, older and younger will give them a sense of community.

Social Issue Outside the Family:

That one is simple. The less the outside world knows, the better. It's unfortunate, but it's reality. Better to explain to the kids that nudism is to be discussed only with Mom and Dad and close relatives.

[Boreas]

My first thought is that children are often natural nudists. They like to run around in the buff and have no qualms about who sees them. My cousin has a boy and a girl, and apparently they ditch their clothes all the time when they are outside playing. It is fine in the backyard, since it is fenced and private. They do have the inclination to go out into the front, which isn't necessarily bad, just not as safe. My cousin lets them hang like that, and even my uncle finds a way to encourage them to stay in the backyard when nude, and dress if they go out of the yard. He does not shame them, which is cool. Maybe someday I will ask if my cousin and her husband spend time nude out there too.

I think if you just let kids be who they are, when it is a safe and "appropriate" (can't think of a less judgemental word right now) they will continue to enjoy being nude rather than learn to feel shame about their bodies.

I will think about the other questions. It is too late for my brain just now. :o

[Centauri4]

Thanks for the contributions NudonyII and Boreas!

Just in case the idea was not clear, these questions are not for my benefit alone. The intention of this posting is to "take another run" at the idea of Nudism for the Family except not from a "I was raised in a nudist family and we..." but rather "If I were going to create a nudist family environment, based on my feelings and experiences, I (or we) would..." do the following things.

So answers and replies should not be limited to ONLY these questions but ANY tips or inspiration you care to share as a guide to others; the questions I posed are just seed questions to inspire thought.

We all spend so much time and effort telling of the best experiences we have HAD in the past, I just thought it would be interesting to see what sort of environments or settings we could set up if given the chance to do so. Perhaps settings and events either for ourselves (e.g. in a 'perfect world' accepting of greater diversity in lifestyles) or for young people that may be viewing this forum and our threads for the very first time.

I totally encourage people to deviate from the "Outline" questions and take the thread in any direction they wish; perhaps to include descriptions of "Idealized living arrangements" (a nudist household including extended family homes) or "Best nudist experience possible" (a nudist Birthday party or wedding in a rented Social Hall with all friends in attendance and participating).

~

[bernardc]

I have to agree....i believe in following by example.We always seem to want to rationalise us being nudists.In a way,wanting to justify us being nudists.I am using a home front example/metaphor here.
In the primary schools around my neighbourhood,90% of kids attend school barefoot.Yet,its not justified to the shoesies...the traditional barefoot children carry on going to school barefoot,not justifying it.
The grade ones always seem to come to their first day in school,with shoes...but,by the friday...all of them are bare foot at school,and come to school barefoot,and remain barefoot....the rest of the year.Why?
Because the other barefooters lead by example.I think the same goes for nudists.....the best way to introduce others to nudism,is plainly....just being naked as you would be in your normal way.Sleeping in the nude,not closing doors....walkking about in the nude as you would usually do....doing your chores in the nude...and if your kids are addimant nudists like my son,they can become the bridge builders.My child remains nude,irrespectable of who is visiting,and even in the mornings when he wakes up with a morning woood,never conceals it,neither do i , however,one thing i would not do,is when i usually leave the door closed when in the toilet,why open it now when there are visitors,thats unethical and rude,but if its open always,i wont close it.The point is that they could see our comfortableness with nudity...and when chatting...maintain eye contact.We need never justify our nudity.My friends knew that I was a nudist ..not by introducing them to it,but just being my normal nude me...i never got dressed when they came over,even if it was planned,they knew...I was a nudist,and never wore clothes at home...new friends could never hide their curiosity and often stared at my penis,and i was not bothred...
The minute we try and "justify or soften us being nude towards others,it becomes in a way...suspicious.
About the school...why tell them in the first place if they do not ask .Why...? it will soon be evident at school if kids are nudists...they exhibit no shame with,or embaressement towards nudity,and when they should be asked why they do not seem shy,then tell whoever asks....be franc and open and honest.
This holiday,my son being 13,is at that stage where his penis erects almost at the slightest thing or stimulation,and at very regular intervals,I might ad...during our prayers...bible studies, games , discussions,and i asked him if hed rather prefer wearing clothes or a boxer short in stead,and he was very disgusted with me daring to suggest him wearing clothes...he wanted to renmain naked,and even when having erections,didnt even conceal them...he acted as normal as ever....
Leading by example is the best introduction,and obviousely,when people see you or me acting as normal in our nudity,they will ask questions,and then that will be the perfect introductory effort.

[Centauri4]

Bernard, thanks for contributing and sharing your observations!

It is an important point you make in stating that your child behaves as if nudity is normal for him so consistently. This is one thing I think can encourage others parents to use as a guide or "benchmark" when introducing nudism to their own children. After all, we all have these "body parts" and should be teaching children to be fully aware of the functions they perform at the earliest age where it seems likely they will understand. We should not "rush them" forward into the world of adult complexities, no I do not mean that. But we do set a good example by training and educating them to be self-sufficient and also, at the earliest opportunity, to explain what being nude means to them! VERY IMPORTANT, I think!

The sooner children develop and understanding of this as a "Lifestyle" and what lifestyles are in general terms, the sooner they will develop an ability to be accepting of other lifestyles such as homosexuality, religious fanatics, racists and other subcultures. This is important because all people begin being integrated into one subculture or another at early ages I think, and it is useful to be able to recognize a type of behaviour as distinctive (or unique, or special, OR "normal"). How else can we learn to promote something that may be a little different or "less common" as "normal"? The youth of America and other countries where readers see this ARE the future of Nudism.

Perhaps one day nudism will rise above the level of being a subculture but, in order for that to happen we almost need a "Nudist Primer" schoolbook with a curriculum and all the philosophies clearly explained in simple terms.

One of my hopes for this discussion thread is that others will "pitch in" and make statements about the essential facts of "Being a Nudist" they would like to see added to such a Primer (handbook).

If our children are ever separated from us and asked to explain, "Why mommy and daddy let them go naked?" it will be very, very helpful for them to have some kind of answer prepared. Of course this cannot happen at very early ages but, should be introduced to them as sooner the better, and I think we can also add in the concept of "When" to explain things and when to say, "I would really like you to ask my parents about that."

The Naturist Education Foundation (NEF) should produce posters and knowledge "Flash Cards" with the quintessential definitions of Nudism on them for growing adults to use. Maybe this is already being done and I am just not informed on the diversity of practices and approaches existing in Nudism and Naturism, or perhaps we have not yet taken this subject seriously enough.

Even for us "older" kids, there is never any harm in practising what to say when asked about our collective interests in Nudism, the goals of the "Nudism Movement" in America (if you subscribe to its existence) and just generally what it means to be a nudist.

Well done so far! Many heartfelt thanks!!

~

[Riot.EXE]

Greatest thread ever...no joke.

[NudeAl]

First off I would say it takes a united front meaning both parents need to be supportive and embrace nudity and then it takes doing it showing by your actions that nudity is normal and nothing to be ashamed of. That can be leaving the doors open when you dress or shower or going naked all of the time or living the nude life in a nude community. The main thing to emphasize is it is nothing to be ashamed of and it is a normal behavior. We have enough negative stereotyping going on that this is going to be a challenge to any parent.

[Boreas]

I agree Al. Children are usually natural nudists. They get shamed into hiding their bodies. While it is often very practical to cover one's body, as when the temperature is cold, it is not necessary to feel shame about our body. I believe that body shame is taught, whether consciously and openly, or subtly, or both. If a person manages to make it to adulthood without that shame, they will be better off on so many levels. If they chose to be a nudist, fine. If they chose to be clothed, fine. At least it is done as a choice, not in response to shame and the need to cover up.

[bernardc]

boreas touhed a very important point here.The blame for body shame lies with the parents.I remember once visitingpeople,and they were changing the babies nappy,a little boy,and he developed an erection when the swabbed his buttocks and genitals.The comment the mother maderealy made me mad..."Whats going on with this ugly little thing....thats not nice...wait..mommy quicly cover you so one sees that ugly little thing..."Thats where it starts.The child may be small,but seses that it seems wrong to his parents perceoption,and will always make that connection regarding his penis with disgust and shame.
Parents should to start of with,never make degrading comments on any childs genitals,it stciks with them for life!
Afterwards I spoke to the parents about it,and i told them very tactfully that it was a degrading remark.It will scar a child for life.The sad thing is,once a child is raised in that kind of jenre of shame,there is no way that we as nudists could ever swing his/her mind set.
The only way to do it,is to express that its okay to be naked,okay to have erections,okay to enjoy your body.A lot of positive reinforcement is needed in those cases,andits not easy.
The only way to repair that view,is leading by example.Sleep naked,and let the person see it.walk about the house in the nude.Play games together,do chores together in the nude.
If you want to restore that damage you as a parent inflictid,there is hope,it has to come from the parents side.A few tips.

1)If the child is a todler....and you have realised your mistake,allow the child to sit in the bathroom when you bath or shower in full view.at first the child will stare at your body and genitals...because he/she is curious.Do not let on that you feel uncomfortable.Remain naked for the remainder of the time.If its week end,stay naked.

2(Answer their questions honestly and sincerely.Sometimes,a child may just want to touch your genitals out of curiosity,it usually happens once,its just plain curiosity.Act calm,and sesitively ask them to do something else.Do not cover up.Keep the child with you.Soon they will loose interest.

3)Sit in on your children when they bath,and discuss the days events.After the bath,pick up your child and hug him/her,and put them to bed while they are naked.In the morning,when they wake up,and in the case of boys,dont make any remarks on their morning erections.Direct them to the toilet to have a wee-wee..take them to the kitchen,while they are naked,and prepare breakfast.you must also be naked.Soon they will forget that they are naked,and will want to play outside.let them play naked.Kids are natural nudists.

4)If your child plays outside and gets undressed,leave them be!Just pick up the clothes,and dump it in the washing bin.Do not dress them.

5)Let your young todler play on the beach and in the surf naked with others around them.That will help them shun their embarresment.
recently,in one of our shopping malls,on the month end,festive season,and being a holiday town at the coast,about four miles from the beach,a couple came into the huge appartment store,and the kid,about 3 years old,was stark naked.They did their months shopping,and an hour later they happened to also be at the same checkout point where we were...and you geused it,the kid was still in the nude,and they strolled the whole mall , bought ice cream and and cooldrink,doing window shopping.That was to me the right approach.

6)If friends come over,or visitors,and you and your children are naked,do not get dressed.You child will associate that with being hypocrytes and double standards.If your child wants to stay naked,and they get older and develope like my son in his teens spontanious erections,make no big deal of it,and make no comments on it.If you get uncomfortable with it...LUMP IT and bear it!your child will out of their own get dressed.But if they saee you not being embaressed with your erections as a male,neither will they be,and accept it as normal.

7)When you and your children are naked together,act normal...play games,bake pancaces,mow the lawn,wrestle,blay basket ball in the yard,pray together,do bible study together in the nude,and never shy away from body contact...even if you are naked.Hug as much as possible.It gives the child security,and make them feel less vulnarable and secluded.Do what you would have done an dhow you do it when you are/were clothed.The child must see that,and experience that there is no difference whether you are naked or clothed.Do not be afraid of contact ,skin and genitals will touch,why shun away when youre naked,and not hug as you would when youre clothed.Clothing is a subconcious barrier,nakedness is unbarred and genuine.Even now,my son at 13,still hugs and kisses me naked,and there is no difference whether we are clothed or naked.He still snuggles up against us in bed,even when we have skin contact.

Beware parents!We can change bodyshame attitudes with naked wisdom and nude dicernment.Hope these pointers assists you who feel that you caused body shame.Parents can reverse it tactfully.