grandkids friends

[labrat93562]

I didn't quite know which catagorey to put this one so misc. works.
Last night I was skinnydipping with two of my grandkids, ( I'm Raising 3), and my grandson told me that at one of his friends he stays over at often, his family often skinnydips in thier pool and they frequently are nude around the house when it's just the family. I asked if they're ever nude around him and he said no. Then my Grand daughter said that one of her friends asked if she could come over to swim and wanted to know if she could go without a bathing suit if she did come over.
This got me to thinking. There where a few times I didn't want my grandkids friends over because I didn't want to have to be dressed. Maybe the parents of these freinds feel the same way about my grandkids coming over at times. We don't publicize our lifestyle but a few of my friends know and the kids have told a few of thier friends. Maybe I should talk to these parents and let them know we enjoy nude time at home and if it wasn't a problem for them it wouldn't be aproblem for us if I could stay nude while thier kids were over or the kids could be free to skinny dip at our house and the same would be fine at thier friends houses. This would give everyone more freedom to relax and our kids more time with thier friends.
At various times I've worked with the fathers of both of the aforementioned friends and my grandsons friends mom is our mail lady. But how to approach it? what if the info I'm getting second hand from these kids is misleading. This is a very small town and I don't want to be "that wierd guy that goes naked in front of kids" Any way does anyone have a similar experience and how did it work out?
Labrat

[Home Nudist]

This is a very small town and I don't want to be "that wierd guy that goes naked in front of kids"

Sorry, no experience. But, you must have been reading my mind with your last statement. :p

Do you know any of these people well enough to say you are nude around the house, and the kids are welcome to swim nude in your pool? This would be easier said to close friends. Not sure how it would fly with mere acquaintances.

Naked around your own grandchildren, fine, nobody's business. But, naked around other people's kids, and you leave yourself open to all kinds of things -- in this paranoid society.


my grandson told me that at one of his friends he stays over at often, his family often skinnydips in their pool and they frequently are nude around the house when it's just the family. I asked if they're ever nude around him and he said no.

That would give me a clue that the parents of the friend are also being cautious in the presence of your grandson.

Maybe you should take your lead from that.

[another cpl in mo]

Maybe you could invite them over for a swim and then bring up the subject and see where it goes.

[Bob S.]

Well, if your grandson's friend's family are home nudists, you could easily talk with them and let them know that you also apply to the family nudity way of life. That way, they won't have to worry about covering up when your son is around and vice versa.

As for your granddaughter, until you learn more about her family life, it is a bit trickier. Have your gdaughter find out if her friend's family also are home nudists. If yes, then the convincing will be easier.

Who knows, maybe you could have a nude-a-cue at your home in the summer, inviting at least gson's friend's family.

Bob S.

[NudeAl]

You mentioned that you have worked with a couple of the fathers at various times so they do know you. If you were to talk to them you could mention something like my grand kids were wanting to have your kids over but sometimes it's inconvenient due to your prefered mode of dress something along those lines. Of course I would say it depends on how well you know the fathers.

[Agde]

... Anyway does anyone have a similar experience and how did it work out?
We've had a backyard pool a various times, including when I was growing up. The rule-of-thumb was simple when friends came over -- they were either treated as "visitors" or "family" (ie. basically either we adjusted to their home rules or they went with our home rules). The default was "visitor" until the parents had a chance to coordinate.

The parental contact usually went something like: "Hi, my daughter would like to invite your daughter over for swimming. In our household culture, swimming is like bathing so the kids don't usually wear swimsuits. I didn't know about your family pattern, so just wanted to check whether it was ok to follow our pattern, or have each kid just follow their own home pattern, or maybe I should have everybody adjust to your pattern if its different? What do you think? Anyway, I just wanted to coordinate family-to-family, since, as long as the parents are on the same page, the kids naturally adjust to particular house rules. If you want to come over before or during the visit to get a feel for the atmosphere and work out specifics, that would also be great!"

Even with bunches of friends, it was always easy to explain that since so-n-so is coming, its a "visitor day" (ie. swimsuit day) or alternatively that its a "family day" so everybody can wear what they want. Actually, once the parents got to know each other, it really was no big deal, there weren't any reputational consequences, and "family days" became the norm.

[labrat93562]

thanks for all the advice. I actually know my grandsons friends parents better so I'll try talking to them first. I'm off this Fri. so I might talk to the mom when she brings our mail.

[nudeM]

Even though I usually don't wear anything, I will slip on a pair of shorts when our Grandsons' friends come over. Even when swimming, I'll put on a pair of trunks as to not to embarass our Grandson. Trust me, kids are mean, and if they find out the family runs around the house nude, word will get out in the schoolyard. There could be reprocutions on the nudist kid. It's better to be safe. But who knows, maybe the parents will be okay with your home nudity, but then again, you know the parents better than us. That's a fine thread. Let us know what happens.:smoking:

[Agde]

Even though I usually don't wear anything, I will slip on a pair of shorts when our Grandsons' friends come over. Even when swimming, I'll put on a pair of trunks as to not to embarass our Grandson. Trust me, kids are mean, and if they find out the family runs around the house nude, word will get out in the schoolyard. There could be reprocutions on the nudist kid....

We were briefed as kids, and similarly briefed ours, that if anybody teased, just to say something like, "Well, it is just our family culture. No big deal. Every family is different. Some families are jewish, others speak spanish at home. (shrug)" By being cheerful and not defensive, we never had problems. Frankly, there are lots of things kids can be mean to each other about that pack more wallop than parsing out some home-based parent-driven family custom that your target shrugs off as being no big deal.

[FireProf]

Kids are quite amazing and always surpise us. Our grandkids were over after a soccer game last summer. They brought two of their friends with them, two sisters. The ages of our grandkids and friends were 5-7.

They all swam and were having a good time. They all had bathing suits on. We had just met these other children's parents at the beginning of the season so we were cautious of our lifestyle around these visitors

After they swam, our grandkids asked to take a shower using the outdoor shower. Their friends asked if they could too. The Prof got them the body soap and shampoo and they all stripped and showered outside and didn't pay attention to us or themselves. They laughed and thought showering outside was the best thing ever.

After they showered and dried off, the youngest, our grandkids friend, remained naked and played with some of the toys in the play room. Her sister told her she had to put clothes on and she answered..."why?" Her sister answered..."because this isn't your home." I suspect that being nude in their home is a common occurrance but we've not ventured into that conversation. It's best left for our daughter and son in law who are good friends with these young girls parents.

But...it made the Prof and I feel very good that these young girls felt comfortable and unthreatened by us that they could be nude and take their shower and not really pay us much attention. BTW...the Prof was helping them with towels and such....I was out there picking up all the pool toys they left behind. LOL

[labrat93562]

Well unfortunately I missed Stepenie when she brought the mail. I still plan on having a talk with them though. On a better note, my future daughter in law was over yesterday. My son, her and her kids come over often and I always have covered when they came over because they (DIL and kids) aren't used to nudity. My son hasn't taken to naturism but he's used to my being nude. Well as I said they are over frequently and with summer being here they naturally want to come swimming in the pool. A couple of days this week I wanted to go swimming after work but couldn't because they were in the pool. so yesterday I finally just asked her if it would bother her if I just stayed nude when they are over. She said it was fine. So maybe some day they'll join us for a skinnydip or a trip to the resort. If not at least I gained more freedom at home.

[countryguync]

Just goes to show you that "IT NEVER HURTS TO ASK". What's the worse that can happen? The parents say NO. Okay, so you know where they stand and can plan to take care that you are covered when the kids' friends are coming over.

Most times what we imagine in our minds is far worse than reality.

[Naturist Mark]

Just goes to show you that "IT NEVER HURTS TO ASK". What's the worse that can happen? The parents say NO.

In a rational world, yes. But naturist parents/grandparents have to be leery of "do-gooders" who would complain to CPS - or even media or police - in order to make life miserable for the "perverts".

Most places these agencies are run by rational beings and it shouldn't become a problem. But there are exceptions.

[nosockstoday]

We've had a backyard pool a various times, including when I was growing up. The rule-of-thumb was simple when friends came over -- they were either treated as "visitors" or "family" (ie. basically either we adjusted to their home rules or they went with our home rules). The default was "visitor" until the parents had a chance to coordinate.

The parental contact usually went something like: "Hi, my daughter would like to invite your daughter over for swimming. In our household culture, swimming is like bathing so the kids don't usually wear swimsuits. I didn't know about your family pattern, so just wanted to check whether it was ok to follow our pattern, or have each kid just follow their own home pattern, or maybe I should have everybody adjust to your pattern if its different? What do you think? Anyway, I just wanted to coordinate family-to-family, since, as long as the parents are on the same page, the kids naturally adjust to particular house rules. If you want to come over before or during the visit to get a feel for the atmosphere and work out specifics, that would also be great!"

Even with bunches of friends, it was always easy to explain that since so-n-so is coming, its a "visitor day" (ie. swimsuit day) or alternatively that its a "family day" so everybody can wear what they want. Actually, once the parents got to know each other, it really was no big deal, there weren't any reputational consequences, and "family days" became the norm.

Wow - I really like this approach. I consider this a very wise way to handle it.

-nosockstoday

[labrat93562]

Well I talked to future daughter in law yesterday. I told her that her daughter had expressed interest in going with us when we go fishing at our resort. She said it would be ok. Then later when talking to My son (who usually dosen't want to see his mom or nieces nude) about the resort was suprised to find out about the catfish there especially when I told him that some of the fish are big enough to eat baby ducks when ducks come around. He made the comment he would like to check out the fishing. So I might have a hope of getting my son and his family involved. I think if I take the girl first and send her home with fish and fun stories that might lure the rest.
labrat

[Bobby Hill]

Well I talked to future daughter in law yesterday. I told her that her daughter had expressed interest in going with us when we go fishing at our resort. She said it would be ok. Then later when talking to My son (who usually dosen't want to see his mom or nieces nude) about the resort was suprised to find out about the catfish there especially when I told him that some of the fish are big enough to eat baby ducks when ducks come around. He made the comment he would like to check out the fishing. So I might have a hope of getting my son and his family involved. I think if I take the girl first and send her home with fish and fun stories that might lure the rest.
labrat

Ok its been 2 weeks.Please give us an update.

[Rabid_Clam]

Actually the only way to solve a problem is communication. In this case it may not be good to blatently open up with these questions but you need to get togther in a mutually comfortable place and gently work into conversation where you could bring that up and explort the options the other may be willing to subscribe to.

Good luck !

[labrat93562]

Ok. here's the update. I've had a lot of vehicle trouble lately so we haven't got to go to our resort and take my sons step-daughter (9). My son and future D.I.L. did just come over unannounced and found me in my favorite outfit at the laptop. My son did a double take but didn't say anything. He's used to it by now. D.I.L. didn't behave as if anything was any different even though this is the first time she's came over and I wasn't covered up. Great to be free.
I went out to talk to my mail lady when she was here. I told here that her son had said something about them skinnydipping and going nude when it was just family at there home and that they didn't have to change their comfort for the sake of my grandson being over as we were nudists and that we knew them fairly well. She was very friendly and non judgemental but said only her husband and sons go nude around the house on occasion but she avoided joining in because she felt wierd being nude in front of her boys. Given her response I didn't bother to ask if it would be ok for me to remain comfortable while her son is over. She did say her son had mentioned our family going to the nude resort. She said her response was like suprise but great for us. Like she has no problem with nudists but dosen't want to be one. Any way we had a good talk and I don't think any problems will arise from it.
My grandaughters friend who wanted to come skinnydipping never asked her parents.
So that's where it all stands. At least I've made some progress with the D.I.L. and hopefully will be going to resort this weekend with our new little tag-a-long.
labrat