Classes For Men

[Sanslines]

Subject: Spring Classes for Men at the ADULT LEARNING CENTER



<TABLE class=EC_MsoNormalTable cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; PADDING-TOP: 0in" vAlign=top>REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED By Thursday April 28th, 2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays---Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll---Does It Change Itself? --- -Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.


Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?---Group Practice
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor---Pictures and Explanatory Graphics....
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


Class 5

Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity---Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM


Class 7

Learning How To Find Things---Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House
Upside Down While Screaming.---Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch---Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.----Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost---Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live---Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion---Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at=7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy---Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours

Class 14
The Stove / Oven-----What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined...

Upon completion of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.



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[MoonShadow]

LOL --- sounds like a grand line-up! :D

[Navigator]

We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is..

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that..

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
or having sex.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[Pumpkinpie]

Sounds good to me Especially Class 13 :)

[NakedGuy_117]

good one navigator ha ha :laugh: yeah we are all ways hearing their rules its time they heard ours take one for the team and yeah a couch is like camping lol

[Pumpkinpie]

Ok here's my feed back wont be sleeping on the cough would be sharing the dog house if have a dog they end up coming back with sweet talk and begging between (football and sex) which one you choose? You be camping for a long time:laugh:

Forgot to mention did you see the thread on the nude magician ahhhhh.

[FreeinNJ]

Class 1 , this is why we have refrigs that do this for us now
Calss 12 - the answer is stay home , or go wander until she calls you on your cell
the simple way to aviod class 13 is a good smartphone - just have the wife program it for you! LOL