New GF: how to bring up nudism.

[NudonyII]

Usually, I'm the responder and have often contributed my personal input here on CFF. Today, the shoe is on the other foot!

Long story short: I've been dating a lovely young lady for the past couple of months now. I've always figured finding a mate to share my nudist ways would be a tedious task. But as it turns out, that may not be the case!
Two events have occurred over the last few weeks. The first was when she came across a nudist periodical on my bookshelf. And she turned out to be intrigued and interested in the concept of the clothesfree way of life. The second event occurred as she saw me walking in and out of the bedroom nude. She actually stated her admiration with my comfort with nudity; before emulating me and walking around nude herself! Two strikes!:laugh:

So far, I've gauged that the potential for engaging her into the clothesfree mindset is fairly good. But now I'm a bit stumped. Where do I go from here? When do I tell her that once upon a time, my ex, daughter and I spent our weekends completely nude at the resort, and in our earlier years, rarely wore clothes at home? And that now I'd like to start over with her?

Part of me thinks I should wait until our relationship is more "cemented." But it's got to "come out" at some point. Advice would be much appreciated.

[davep]

Why not instead tell her what you've enjoyed in the past and you'd like to do it with her sometime in the future if she ever feels she'd like to too? At least that way you've planted the idea, and left it up to her. I'm sure we mean the same thing, but the way you phrased it might make her fear that you may want her to do it even if she's not quite ready. Lightly does it, and then she can think about it and decide when she's happy with it. But you need to make it clear that she's not under any pressure. Sounds like she won't be horrified, and before too long she may be quite happy with it.

[Smiley]

I think I'd wait until she asks questions about your past and family, then just say it the way you did in your question. Don't hide the truth and don't embellish on it but be honest in your answers. .

[scrptman]

If participating in social nudism is important to you (i.e. something you don't want to give up), then I suggest you approach the subject as soon as you can. Keep in mind though, she might not like the idea, and may never like the idea...would you rather find out now or 5 years into the relationship? You would have to be prepared to either give up the nudism or give up the girl if this is the case.

[EZ Nude]

You said she is interested in the clothes free lifestyle and has been nude with you a couple times. Now is the time to tell her. Ask her about her likes and dislikes. She will ask you yours. When you mention your a nudist she will stop you in your tracks and have questions for you. Go slow and teach her. Trust me. She is interested.

[walter05]

NodonyII

You said, "my ex, daughter and I spent our weekends completely nude at the resort, and in our earlier years, rarely wore clothes at home? And that now I'd like to start over with her? "

I don't care what the issue is. If you are in any way attempting to recreate what you had with a different person with her, you have a problem. If you tell her that, the relationship will sour.

The issue of nudism should be able to stand on its own.

[davep]

You would have to be prepared to either give up the nudism or give up the girl if this is the case.
That's not necessarily so - she may not want it for herself but have no objection to her partner doing it: it depends whether that's a solution acceptable to both parties. I think there has to be some Live & let live, nudism's about acceptance too.

[liberalal]

Based upon my knowledge of you via the posting that you do, I would conclude that nudism is of great importance in your life.
My suggestion is to visit a nudist resort with your new friend which would
allow you to see if a future in nudism would be a place of comfort for her.
The timing about telling her about your past may also depend on your relationship with your daughter.
Lastly, look over your own postings, and you will find the answer.
Good luck whatever you decide.

[scrptman]

That's not necessarily so - she may not want it for herself but have no objection to her partner doing it: it depends whether that's a solution acceptable to both parties. I think there has to be some Live & let live, nudism's about acceptance too.

It may not be "necessarily so" - agreed, but it is a distinct possibility and you must be prepared for it.

She might, over time, become bothered by the fact that he is frolicking around naked with other women around him - and not at home with her. You never know. It totally depends on the person in question, which is why I think you need to get it out in the open as early as possible.

[nimrod]

I think nudism has already been brought up when she found the publication, seen you walk around nude, proclaimed her admiration, and been nude with you, but if you need more of an opening then that I do not know what to tell you.

I would stay away from telling her of how you would like to have what you had in the past with your ex, but you can mention that she was nude with you also if the conversation ever turns that way. Stick to what you want on the subject of nudity, no need to bring up what you had unless asked. If it does come up say that you liked it and the openess of it or whatever, do not say that you want to recreate it with her just stay with your feelings on nudity.

[benakkied]

It sounds like you are already where you want to be with her and she is with you. I would let her decide what she wanted to do about being in a social setting with others besides you . Explain what you like the next time you are nude together. . If she asks about your ex tell her, yes we enjoyed resorts, etc. and the daughter did as well. (If you you like to go with me to my favorite place I'd enjoy taking you.) After the conversation with mine she asked her girl friend about it.She out found others she knew enjoyed the time. Now we go with them a lot. She was not sure about being around others until she found out about her friends.

[Kouak]

You could go to a clothing optional beach. This way she could ease into social nudism. It is a smaller time commitment for a day at the beach vs. a weekend.

[MoonShadow]

You've only been dating a couple of months so go with the flow for the time being and see what will evolve. Don't hide the fact you enjoy nudism including social nudism but treat it as a much of a part of you and any other items you enjoy.

More importantly, don't worry about your love of the nudist lifestyle. Enjoy each other!

[NudonyII]

NodonyII

You said, "my ex, daughter and I spent our weekends completely nude at the resort, and in our earlier years, rarely wore clothes at home? And that now I'd like to start over with her? "

I don't care what the issue is. If you are in any way attempting to recreate what you had with a different person with her, you have a problem. If you tell her that, the relationship will sour.

The issue of nudism should be able to stand on its own.

Nope; I did not mean duplicate what I had with the ex. As a matter of fact, that would be nearly impossible. My wording there probably was misleading. I meant start over with the idea of nudism as part of our experience as a couple.

I think nudism has already been brought up when she found the publication, seen you walk around nude, proclaimed her admiration, and been nude with you, but if you need more of an opening then that I do not know what to tell you.

Reading some of the answers has got me to thinking. As a seasoned social nudist, obviously I want to get her involved, revisit the resort scene as a couple. But "hitting her" all at once with all the facts about my past could prove to be a bit much for her to digest all at once. You're right nim, the opening is already there; my issue is with how much info to "pour" into this opening. And I think the rational answer to that is: "easy does it." I'm not exactly sure how I'll end up going about it; but I think for now, encouraging her to be nude with me in the privacy of our homes will do. It's going to be hard for me to exercise patience, but that's the right thing to do for now. As far as bringing the whole story on Nudony- that's probably best left for when we reach the point where the possibility of a nudist opportunity arises.

[Agde]

...So far, I've gauged that the potential for engaging her into the clothesfree mindset is fairly good. But now I'm a bit stumped. Where do I go from here?...
...Don't hide the fact you enjoy nudism including social nudism but treat it as a much of a part of you and any other items you enjoy...

Good advice from MoonShadow! Where to go from here? Clothes-free time as part of the natural daily rhythm and as part of who you are is exactly what naturism is all about. It makes an outing to someplace where you can enjoy a warm clothes-free summer day together all the more natural. It is definitely a here-and-now part building a unique relationship. The historical stuff may come up naturally, but it sounds like you guys already have a wonderful "flow" to go with as you get to know each other this summer.

[NudeAl]

Well since you asked, LOL! Seems like you have some pretty solid advice already but here's my 2 cents.

I would not hide your nudism however I would not make it appear as though it is the center of my world either. If you currently are a member of a nudist club I would let her know in a caual way same deal if you regularly go to a nude beach. However if most of your nude social life is in the past you may let that sleeping dog lie until it is time to discuss all your history. Something you shouldn't to do is to make references to your ex and how you were always going to this nudist resort. Not a good idea to hide anything however not good comparing ones current romantic interest with another one from the past. Goodluck

[atalanta]

NodonyII

You said, "my ex, daughter and I spent our weekends completely nude at the resort, and in our earlier years, rarely wore clothes at home? And that now I'd like to start over with her? "

I don't care what the issue is. If you are in any way attempting to recreate what you had with a different person with her, you have a problem. If you tell her that, the relationship will sour.

Good point!

[nudeM]

Glad you were able to find someone who is interested in nudity and curious. Lots of luck, but I would seriously think about bringing up your ex and her Daughter. Be glad you are able to share your interest with your new found love, but to bring up the past, could prove to be a little tricky. It's like saying, :..at least my ex and her Daughter were abel to walk freely about the house nude". That could prove to be very serious condontations. If your present girlfriend is interested, let her work at her own pace. Don't push the subject, but rather support her decisions. Sounds like you have someone to share home nudity with in the near future.:smoking:

[MeBNude]

You've only been dating a couple of months so go with the flow for the time being and see what will evolve. Don't hide the fact you enjoy nudism including social nudism but treat it as a much of a part of you and any other items you enjoy.

I'm just starting to catch up on all of the good stuff going on here before I joined (oh, and really not wanting to work today and it's too cold to go to the beach, so here I am :surprised:)

I agree with Moonshadow completely, and have a positive personal anecdote to share. As a newbie nudie, or at least not knowing it until I was 43 late last year, my BF, set me straight and free when he told me he's been a nudist for over 20 years. I remember the exact time and place of that conversation because it was pivotal in my life. I love him for many things, but his being willing to talk about his nudist life and lifestyle was such a gift.to me. The conversation happened in the first couple of months of our relationship. We didn't manage to get to CO beaches or resorts together until this year, but I also find time to go on my own.

Honesty is always the best basis of a friendship/relationship and it can also be a treasured gift.

[Naturist4Ever]

Long story short: I've been dating a lovely young lady for the past couple of months now. The second event occurred as she saw me walking in and out of the bedroom nude.

Maybe I am missing something obvious but as your gf "for some months now" she should be seeing you a lot more nude (and vv) than walking in and out of the bedroom??? Or is this "Stu's syndrome"? J/k hehe.

Although "a couple of months" seems a lifetime to me (hey, people get divorced again within a day or week after getting married these days) I cannot else than second Moonshadow's reply (as always) and wish you the best :-)

[Stu2630]

Naturist4Ever

Or is this "Stu's syndrome"?

Would you care to explain that?

You moan when I post on here and say I should be banned. When I don't post and go quiet for a while, as I have lately, you always seem to want to make some inflammatory remark to provoke me, don't you?

The "syndrome" you describe is far from being peculiar to me. Don't you recall the article in the Daily Mail, about 18-months ago, in which they reported that researchers have discovered that about 25% of couples never see each other naked? My wife and I may not represent the majority in not seeing each other naked, but we belong to a very sizable, and growing, minority.

Stu

[Fitz1980]

The "syndrome" you describe is far from being peculiar to me. Don't you recall the article in the Daily Mail, about 18-months ago, in which they reported that researchers have discovered that about 25% of couples never see each other naked? My wife and I may not represent the majority in not seeing each other naked, but we belong to a very sizable, and growing, minority.

Stu

And that is a shame. But you are the only person that I know of on these boards who feels that way so we might reference you when talking about it.

[Stu2630]

Fitz

And that is a shame.

Why is it a shame? If we are happy being as we are, why is it a problem? :)

A problem can arise when one partner in a couple has markedly different attitudes to nudity than the other partner, and neither is willing to change.

Stu