How to get nude in front of my kids?

[Weims4Life]

Hi, My husband and I adopted our four children three years ago and they are now 10, 8 and twin 7 year olds. Since we did not have them from birth they never grew up seeing us naked. I am a closet nudist and we have a really great nude resort here in Oklahoma that I want to join with my family. My problem is how the heck do I get nude in front of my children for the first time wihtout feeling uncomfortable? They have walked in on me getting dressed before and have seen my breasts but they make such a big deal out of it that it gets weird. Anyone have any suggestions. Thanks.

[Weims4Life]

Hi, My husband and I adopted our four children three years ago and they are now 10, 8 and twin 7 year olds. Since we did not have them from birth they never grew up seeing us naked. I am a closet nudist and we have a really great nude resort here in Oklahoma that I want to join with my family. My problem is how the heck do I get nude in front of my children for the first time wihtout feeling uncomfortable? They have walked in on me getting dressed before and have seen my breasts but they make such a big deal out of it that it gets weird. Anyone have any suggestions. Thanks.

[EricNY]

Go slow...a little at a time. In a short time they will become accustomed to it, and will not even give it a thought,

My children 12, 10 and 3 are quite comfortable and well adjusted to non sexual nudity. Now they consider it quite normal (because it is and should be)

[need2Bnude]

Wow, wish i could help with this one, I do say be careful not to rush them, since they giggle too much at just a minor sight of nudity. Also, I would (and this is just me) use a little less clothing every now and then to help them adjust to the extra skin exposure.
Good Luck.

[DoctorSurferDude]

I'd first talk with them, about it....in a simplistic way. I think in that way you could guage their feelings about it.

It would be fair to have "my naked space". You could literally draw a boundry with tape on the floor or just a door space, depending on your house's layout. Or even "naked time"...a time in the day when you get to be naked around the house and if they don't want to see that they should close their eyes. I agree with the rest though, with some time, and pacient understanding, they'll probably end up adjusting and joining in.

[jon71]

DoctorSurferDude is right. Talk. Let them giggle but when they see you serious that will run it's course quickly. Tell them clothes aren't necessary in their own home (maybe unless there is company). Give them the option to join in, no pressure. I bet they'll come around fairly soon.

[Weims4Life]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I have talked to them about being nude and maybe going to this nude resort and they think it would be cool. As soon as I mentioned it they all stripped off their clothes and ran around inside and outside the house. They think we should have naked day but I am just not sure about being naked in front of them, it feels strange to me. Maybe I am more closeted than I want to admit, LOL. I am nude most of the time at home when they aren't there but just haven't plucked up the courage to do it in front of them.

[twldr2002]

Children are the most natural nudists of all as they often do not have any emotional fears or concerns re being undressed in a safe and supportive environment (at home, at an established nudist club or park etc).

Children pay little attention to their nude parents other than knowing if its OK for their mother or father to be in the nude then its OK for them also.

Parents set the tone for their children to follow. If you enjoy being clothing free when alone, then why not with your children, and they are your children!

You and your spouse are very special to love and care for not one but four children!

Living clothing free is a wonderful gift to not only your children but also to yourself. Enjoy!

[jon71]

If they're cool with it you'll never get a better chance.

[Ben_m]

My kids (both girls/duaghters) were about 10 and 7 when I started. I started SLOWLY and carefully by simply not closing the bathroom door. There was no shock from them initially, fortunately, I surmised that they behaved similarly in the bathroom (and had NEVER been taught to close the door, also fortunately). I progressed SLOWLY, and did at one point get some objection, so I held back and went even more slowly. Now, about 4 years later, I joke that I can pass them in the hall naked and you could ask them right after what I was wearing and they couldn't tell you. I don't think it's a joke. My sense was, while I felt the need to go slowly and did get some objection, that it was initially more difficult for me to do than it was for them to deal with (at first I did get studied EXTENSIVELY, and you can guess where/what and that was a little nerve-racking for me). I did it, because I believed that I should and that it was beneficial for all of us. Just yesterday I talked surprisingly openly (scared me just slightly) with my oldest (now 14) daughter and her friend about showering at school. Sadly, given tremendous social pressure, we agreed to disagree (I didn't shower in Junior High and High school either, however, to be honest), for the most part, but I know my daughter knows that I believe what I was saying (about there being no shame in having a body and showering in a locker room).

[nudeM]

Just out of curiosity Weims4Life, what is your husbands' stand on this? You mentioned you may feel funny being naked in front of them, but does your husband also feel funny, or have they ever seen him?

What I do is usually in the morning when I wake up, I don't wear anything, so seeing me is no big deal. After awhile, I'll cover up until the evening hours, i.e., after a nice shower and getting ready for bed. I'll go to the kitchen to take my pills, then off to bed. Also, since I don't wear anything in bed and sleep on top of the covers, I'm sure they have seen me at one time or another.

I would go nude more often, but we, hw and myself, both agree that I shouldn't be nude 'all the time' in front of the grandson (7 years old). Due to situations I have noted before (CPS), it is best that way. It is okay with our son (17 years old), that is until he has his friends over.

Lots of luck, and please let us know how things turn out. http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

[Trailscout]

Ben, it's hard to imagine that a girl would not want to be fresh after gym class and unless she just came out of the pool, she'd be sweaty from any other sort of activity. Girls at my school almost universally showered. If there was any social pressure, it was to not have body odor.

I guess we can't expect a rational response at that age, but you know if a popular influential girl started showering after gym class and she smelled decidedly clean and fresh, wouldn't the other sheep, excuse me, girls follow suit? http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[Trailscout]

Weims, your girls are still young enough that you may have a chance to show some leadership with your nudity, especially since the girls are still open to being nude with each other.

I don't know exactly how you will make the transition, but I am confident that you can do it if you start soon.

[Art900]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Weims4Life:
My problem is how the heck do I get nude in front of my children for the first time wihtout feeling uncomfortable? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

The issue here is how to get you comfortable. Since the children like the idea of visiting the resort, I think you could use the visit their to get yourself comfortable with the situation. You may even want to visit by your self first and then take the children. AFter the visit with the children, I bet you will become very comfortable.

[nakednudists]

Heck, if they took off their clothes and ran abound the house naked when you talked to them and they think you should have naked day, then go for it. Once you are naked infront of them for a few minutes, you'll never wear clothes in the house again.

[Nudony]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">My problem is how the heck do I get nude in front of my children for the first time wihtout feeling uncomfortable? They have walked in on me getting dressed before and have seen my breasts but they make such a big deal out of it that it gets weird. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

There's not really any way around it. It is initially going to feel weird, and your kids will probably react to it by giggling or blushing. However, before heading out to the resort, I think you should get them used to your nudity first. Confronting them directly works for kids 7 and under, but older kids need more preparation. My mother went topless at a beach without notice when I was 15, and I didn't react well to it at all.

Talk to them first. Tell them that they may be seeing "more" of you in the near future, and see how they react to it. The method I recommend then is "open doors." Simply leave your bedroom door open and do what you would normally do after showering and dressing. You may not see them, but they will definitely see you. They will grow used to it, and before you know it, seeing you nude will pose no problem for them. The transition to home nudism should then be seamless.

As long as the husband has no problem with it...

[shãybare]

http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
You have been given some great advice. I, too, say go for it. If the kids are running around naked, then seeing you and your husband will really be no big deal for them. Go to the resort and have fun. Give me a call or send me an e-mail.
_______________________________________________

Jason Lee, Thanks for the plug.

[Weims4Life]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by nudeM:
Just out of curiosity Weims4Life, what is your husbands' stand on this? You mentioned you may feel funny being naked in front of them, but does your husband also feel funny, or have they ever seen him?

Hi nudeM,

Our boys have seen my husband nude, when we went on vacation they all showered together at a campgroud, but our daughter hasn't. He is skeptical about being nude in public because of the same old problem every guy worries about: I'll have an erection as soon as I see naked women. I have read him all the stuff I have found about it and tried to tell him that it would not be a problem and what to do about it if it does happen so we'll see what happens. I was talking to two of my kids this morning about it and only had on a long sleep tee shirt and they both said "come on, lift up your shirt so we can see" LOL. I think it's curiosity more than anything. I didn't have the nerve to do it so I guess I still need more time.

[Weims4Life]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Art900:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Weims4Life:
My problem is how the heck do I get nude in front of my children for the first time wihtout feeling uncomfortable? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

The issue here is how to get you comfortable. Since the children like the idea of visiting the resort, I think you could use the visit their to get yourself comfortable with the situation. You may even want to visit by your self first and then take the children. AFter the visit with the children, I bet you will become very comfortable. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think I will probably visit the resort by myself first and then ease everyone else into it.

[Weims4Life]

[
You and your spouse are very special to love and care for not one but four children!

Thanks, sometimes I think we are crazy but they are great kids and we love them as if I gave birth to them http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif I highly recommend adoption to anyone wanting to add to their family or who can't have kids of their own. There are so many kids out there who need homes.

[usuallylurk]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Weims4Life:
Hi, My husband and I adopted our four children three years ago and they are now 10, 8 and twin 7 year olds. Since we did not have them from birth they never grew up seeing us naked. I am a closet nudist and we have a really great nude resort here in Oklahoma that I want to join with my family. My problem is how the heck do I get nude in front of my children for the first time wihtout feeling uncomfortable? They have walked in on me getting dressed before and have seen my breasts but they make such a big deal out of it that it gets weird. Anyone have any suggestions. Thanks. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

First of all, Weims - if you have legally adopted the four children - they ARE yours! And congratulations!

Second - visiting one of the nudist parks in your area as a family might not be a bad idea.

The "weirdness" is just curiosity.

Kids of that age will get used to the nudity in a matter of minutes. If they don't -- then don't do it again, but most kids do.

We raised our daughter in nudism - she thought nothing of it until the pre-teen years. Then it was an issue and we didn't go anymore for awhile.

[Buzzer]

http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gifIs there a place you could take the family and skinny dip by yourselves on a VERY hot day?
Otherwise, I'd just be naked when they wake up on a hot day and let them know they are also welcome to be undressed, at home, for that day if they'd like to.

[nudenwv]

hmm. tough one. i would start after bathing try walking to your room nude. even just a towel wrapped around your waist. then eventually leave the towel off all together. takeing them to a clothing optional resort would be keen. that way they would not feel pressured into dis-robeing right away. kids adjust quicker than adults.

[nudeM]

Posted by Weims4Life: <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I was talking to two of my kids this morning about it and only had on a long sleep tee shirt and they both said "come on, lift up your shirt so we can see" LOL. I think it's curiosity more than anything. I didn't have the nerve to do it so I guess I still need more time. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sounds like they are curious to see if you are serious about nudism or not. I can appreciate your not feeling comfortable, but at one time or another, it may be wise to just go ahead and 'show your true colors'.

One way that has worked for me is, when I wake up in the mornings, I go to the kitchen with nothing on. I do this to take my meds and to get the coffee ready. Then I'll slip to the bedroom and get on the computer. When the coffee is ready, I fill my cup up, again wearing nothing, and return to the computer room.

Same at nights, especially during the summer months. I don't wear anything to bed, and when I sleep on top of the covers, I'm sure they have seen me as well. Same thing with swimming.

So basically what I am saying is, go for it, little steps at a time though. It will give them the idea you have nothing to be embarrased about. At the same time, it will give you more of that liberation feeling, knowing you are able to be nude in their presence, with no guilt whatsoever.

Lots of luck and please, let us know how things turn out. http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

[Naturist Mark]

Sounds to me like the kids have no problem with the concept, it's Mom who has to work through her barriers.

For a long time people have been advising others to ease into social nudity - go to a resort on a quiet weekday - or visit a secluded beach. I've come to think the opposite aproach is better - go somewhere crowded and busy, don't let yourself think about being nude in front of others, get involved in an activity so that the nudity gets pushed back in your perception - play tennis, learn petanque, naked scrabble even. In a crowd you will be just another body - not the center of unwanted attention.

I would only recommend going to the resort alone first if you have some worry about it being a proper environment (AANR and TNS affiliated clubs are pretty safe bets). Otherwise I strongly recommend taking the kids along. It is a family activity - you and they will feel better and find your place sooner if you go as a family from the start.

It WILL be an awkward adjustment at first, but after that plunge you will acclimate quickly - better to jump in with both feet and get it over with. Within an hour you will find your biggest concern is being a parent, the naked thing will be almost forgotten.

-Mark

[Ben_m]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Trailscout:
Ben, it's hard to imagine that a girl would not want to be fresh after gym class and unless she just came out of the pool, she'd be sweaty from any other sort of activity. Girls at my school almost universally showered. If there was any social pressure, it was to not have body odor.

I guess we can't expect a rational response at that age, but you know if a popular influential girl started showering after gym class and she smelled decidedly clean and fresh, wouldn't the other sheep, excuse me, girls follow suit? http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>Well, it apparently isn't like that around here. The discussion started because they were basically mocking one girl who does actually shower. So, it will apparently take more than one for the rest to follow (and my daugher will apparently not be number two http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif ).

[Trailscout]

Ben, the locker room should by law be an environment that is non-threatening. In this case, it looks like the coach/teacher needs to be there to see that the locker room is a safe respectful place.

If the coach is male, the school can simply provide a female adult to monitor the locker room.

[Ben_m]

I think laws have gone the other direction here as well, basically making it inadviseable (for coaches and teachers) to encourage teens to shower to say nothing of being anywhere close to it when it's going on (the last thing a teacher/coach wants are accusations of pedophilia, and it's exactly what would result). It's a sad state of affairs, no question about it.

[Boreas]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Ben_m:
I think laws have gone the other direction here as well, basically making it inadviseable (for coaches and teachers) to encourage teens to shower to say nothing of being anywhere close to it when it's going on (the last thing a teacher/coach wants are accusations of pedophilia, and it's exactly what would result). It's a sad state of affairs, no question about it. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

That is true. A teacher/coach would have to be quite careful.

I was once a shy teenage girl. My highschool was brand new with shiny new gyms and changerooms. It had the big communal shower which none of the girls in regular gym class used. I have been thinking about what would have encouraged us to use them.....shaming would NOT work. Having a teacher or adult in the room would bring an element of shaming.

Having said that, I am not sure what would have worked. It would certainly have to be in a safe environment and who knows what that is when you are a teenaged girl in the dog eat dog environment of teen social structures!

[windowphobe]

There's a tipping point, when something inside them tells them that it's no big deal if Mom or Dad doesn't have any clothes on. The problem is trying to figure out where that point is.

I'm thinking it might be worthwhile to try to establish minor but easily repeatable nude family events. "Okay, once they deliver the pizza, off with your clothes!"

[GAR]

You and your husband need to go to a resort first so he can get usad to being nude around other nude female so he will see what does not happen. Then around your kids. All will work out for you.

[Bob S.]

Weims, you have received some good advice. Since the kids are the ones who are the most comfortable, half of your battle is over.

How do you feel comfortable being naked around them? As Nike's tagline suggests, just do it. Take a shower and don't get dressed afterward. If you sleep naked, get up and don't get dressed until you have to (this will mainly work on the weekends). Declare one day a family naked day where you don't have to get dressed at all. Make every evening after dinner naked time.

The kids will quickly get used to seeing your breasts and won't make comments. The other times you mentioned when you were changing, they were probably just naturally curious and aren't used to seeing your breasts. When they become an everyday thing, they will stop making a big deal of it.

Good luck.

Bob S.

[Sauna]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Bob S.:
Weims, you have received some good advice. Since the kids are the ones who are the most comfortable, half of your battle is over.

How do you feel comfortable being naked around them? As Nike's tagline suggests, just do it. Take a shower and don't get dressed afterward. If you sleep naked, get up and don't get dressed until you have to (this will mainly work on the weekends). Declare one day a family naked day where you don't have to get dressed at all. Make every evening after dinner naked time.

The kids will quickly get used to seeing your breasts and won't make comments. The other times you mentioned when you were changing, they were probably just naturally curious and aren't used to seeing your breasts. When they become an everyday thing, they will stop making a big deal of it.

Good luck.

Bob S. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think this is the best way if you get also your husband to join it. Always when there is good and natural possibility like going to shower and returning, nights and mornigs, hot days avoid clothing and just do it. As father of four, the children in that age see it as normal but very soon they come in prepuberty and then it is late to start, so do it now.

[Gary Naturist]

Weims, your kids have happily accepted going nude in the house and they're curious to see your boobies, so you have a perfect opportunity to become a nude family.

I don't think that it would have been a good idea to lift up your T-shirt when they asked -- a bit too much like Girls Gone Wild. A better idea would be for you to be nude when they come home from school, or come into the kitchen nude one morning, or walk between the bathroom and bedroom nude. And certainly sleep naked!

They'll giggle the first time, or the first several times, but it will cease to be titillating pretty quickly. You may be embarrassed the first time, but that's likely all.

Keep in mind that it won't be any easier to introduce nudity in your home than it is now -- the younger the kids, the better.

Nudists who failed to take opportunities to get involved in nudism earlier in their lives always regret it later.

Re your husband, I can appreciate his concern, because I had a problem with erections early on even within the family. I call them embarrassment erections.

I would think it preferable if he could manage not to have an erection the first few times that the kids see him naked. If he routinetly sleeps naked, walks to/from the bathroom naked, leaves the door open when getting dressed/undressed it's likely that the kids will catch him nude and probably in the down position.

Some nudist families don't have any problem with seeing male members' member erect from time to time. It's natural, and not always under complete control of the owner.

As I said earlier, you've got a great opportunity to become a nude family now. Make sure not to let the opportunity go by.

Gary

[Nudony]

I was reading over some of the responses...I think it's easy for us to say: "No problem...just drop all your clothes and walk by your kids completely nude like it's the most natural thing in the world!"
LOL!!!
It's not that easy for some people. A friend of mine, who had decided it was time to make nudity natural at home, described the thought of being nude in front of her son as "grueling"; and when she actually tried, she found herself paralyzed with fear. We talked about it, and the method we came up with, which is the only I recommended in my post, is "open door." That made it easier for her, since by leaving the bedroom and bathroom doors open, and not facing the door as her son walked by, she knew she could get her son used to seeing her nude without directly facing him. Her son quickly and eventually one day just walked directly to her while she was in the bathroom; that made the direct confrontation quick and painless.

Anyway, that just one method out of many.

[Weims4Life]

First I want to thank everyone for their kind responses. Next I want to say that we had the "big unveil" LOL. I am sitting here typing this nude right now and three of my kids are right here in the living room. This is how I did it. Since they came to live with us I haven't slept nude but decided to start again. This morning I just called them into the bedroom while I was reading my book and made sure that my breasts were exposed. There were a lot of giggles and nonsense then I told them that I was all the way naked and got out of bed. There were bug eyes and some smiles but there were way more interested in the breasts than the lower half of me http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif For three of them it is fine and they are nude right now but one of my boys just is not comfortable. So my next question is: should I continue with what I am doing and hope he'll get used to it or should I quit and go back into "hiding?" He says he doesn't want to be naked and doesn't want to see me that way, he is only 7. He has never had a problem in the past with taking his clothes off and running around with his brothers and sister. So NOW WHAT, HELP!!!!!

[nakednudists]

Well, first and foremost, congrats on finally taking the nude plunge with the kids. I am sure that nudity can be the norm now that all of the gawking is probably out of their system. The more they see you, the less big of a deal it is to see you naked. Second, and not least, your seven year old. How old are the other kids that like to be naked all of the time? Is the seven year old the oldest? I don't think that you should push him into being naked, but let him know that clothing is not required in the house and he can be how he wants to be. One of two things can result from this---he will eventually join in the home nudity or he will stand his ground and choose not to be nude. The lifestyle is not for everyone, so let him have his own opinion, and more than likely, with the normal nudism in the house, he will probably come around. I think that it is great how you have come into the forums and tried to get some help with this. It is also great because we usually see most men accomplishing what you are doing, it is nice to see the mom taking the initiative for home nudism. Good luck and let us know how the kids continue to take it and any twist and turns that come along with it!

[Kari P]

Nakednudists, Weims4Life has answered your question about the ages of the children in her initial post. The 7-year-old boy seems to be one of the twins who are the youngest children. Others are 8 and 10 years. Sexes unknown.

I'm sure the young boy will very soon adopt the lifestyle of his sisters, brothers and mom (and father?). Nudity will be natural in your family, Weims4Life.

[jon71]

My advice is don't force him to be nude but don't back track either. Let him know he has the choice to dress or not and so does everyone else. He can only decide for himself, not the rest of the family.

[nakednudists]

Sorry, I read the posts the other day, but not today. I do remember the ages of the kids now. Sorry for the mistake KariP, I won't let it happen again.

[Nudony]

By deciding to go with the "direct confrontation" method, you took a chance in terms of the children's reaction to your nudity. It appears all but one reacted to it positively, so that's not bad at all.

I recommend exercising caution with your 7-year old. You don't want to aleniate him; but you don't want to backtrack either. For now, you may want to confine the time you spend nude to the bedroom, and maybe wear a sarong around the house; that way he has the option of seeing you nude or not. However, since he has been apparently comfortable nude around his siblings in the past, it would be a good idea to encourage the other kids to be nude at home and leave the option open for him. Whether he ever joins in is anyone's guess at this point. But keep his feelings in mind as you extend nudity to the whole house and make it a part of your daily life.

[Weims4Life]

Here are the sexes of the kids: our daughter is the oldest at 10 the rest are boys. She seems to be the most comfortable being nude and didn't really want to get dressed today but we had to. My son that has the problem is the baby of the family by five minutes http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif The longer I stayed nude this morning the better he became but I could tell his was still a little freaked out by seeing me this way. He kept running away and hiding so I tried not to push the issue. I just stayed nude and did what I normally would in the morning. He did come around a bit at the end. I think he will be okay if he sees it more but time will tell. I'll keep everyone updated on how we do and when we take the big plunge and go to the nudist resort in our area.

[Weims4Life]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Nudony:
By deciding to go with the "direct confrontation" method, you took a chance in terms of the children's reaction to your nudity. It appears all but one reacted to it positively, so that's not bad at all.

I know on the surface it seemed as if it was a bit direct but we had been talking about it for weeks so it's not like I just sprang it on them. I really value everyones opinion and advice and I don't think I would have reached this point without you all http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[Nu]

Hello, Weims4Life:
Perhaps, a little one-on-one conversation about "feelings" may be in order between you and your son.
This would not be a lecture, but just a talk to understand where you both stand and how you are both feeling.
Overall, it will be a developing thing.

[nakednudists]

Don't worry Weims4life, I think you handled it perfectly. Keep up the great work and keep us updated.

[Boreas]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Weims4Life:
Here are the sexes of the kids: our daughter is the oldest at 10 the rest are boys. She seems to be the most comfortable being nude and didn't really want to get dressed today but we had to. My son that has the problem is the baby of the family by five minutes http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif The longer I stayed nude this morning the better he became but I could tell his was still a little freaked out by seeing me this way. He kept running away and hiding so I tried not to push the issue. I just stayed nude and did what I normally would in the morning. He did come around a bit at the end. I think he will be okay if he sees it more but time will tell. I'll keep everyone updated on how we do and when we take the big plunge and go to the nudist resort in our area. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hi Weims, it sounds like you handled the situation really well. You have had the kids for four years. That presumably means he had three years of history before he met your family. What was the meaning of nudity in his past? Is there any way that it was not a safe thing, perhaps involving abuse? If so, there is all the more reason to make sure he sees nudity as a safe thing, which it looks like you did. Also, if he has experienced other traumas, he may react differently to any change. When he learns that change is okay and not the threat it used to be, he will be fine.

Good luck and have fun!

[jon71]

Congratulations on your success so far and good luck on what's to come. Keep us updated. p.s. Nothing in the world like being a parent.

[Nudony]

Congratulation! Indeed, you've pulled it off, and pretty sucessfully too. The 2 ladies I've helped get through this stage in the past had a bit more difficulties getting through this; but your situation has been pretty much seamless!

The key now is consistency. I don't know if you're trying to achieve a C/O or a nude home. If C/O, they key is emphasizing nudity when practical and comfortable, and without pressure. If nude, the key is setting the example by being nude as much as your way of life allows; if you're able to be nude at home all the time, then go for it. It will certainly add a whole new dimension to your home-life.

P.S. Fall is coming; if you want to try the resort this year, now is probably the time to plan a trip.

[Weims4Life]

Hi Weims, it sounds like you handled the situation really well. You have had the kids for four years. That presumably means he had three years of history before he met your family. What was the meaning of nudity in his past? Is there any way that it was not a safe thing, perhaps involving abuse? If so, there is all the more reason to make sure he sees nudity as a safe thing, which it looks like you did. Also, if he has experienced other traumas, he may react differently to any change. When he learns that change is okay and not the threat it used to be, he will be fine.

Good luck and have fun![/QUOTE]

Thanks. The kids came from an abuse situation but it was physical and not sexual. They were beaten up daily by their birth mother's boyfriend http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif and she did nothing to stop it and took his side rather than theirs. They are both in prison and will be there for quite a few more years, thank god.

[Weims4Life]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Nudony:
Congratulation! Indeed, you've pulled it off, and pretty sucessfully too. The 2 ladies I've helped get through this stage in the past had a bit more difficulties getting through this; but your situation has been pretty much seamless!

The key now is consistency. I don't know if you're trying to achieve a C/O or a nude home. If C/O, they key is emphasizing nudity when practical and comfortable, and without pressure. If nude, the key is setting the example by being nude as much as your way of life allows; if you're able to be nude at home all the time, then go for it. It will certainly add a whole new dimension to your home-life.

P.S. Fall is coming; if you want to try the resort this year, now is probably the time to plan a trip. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


It will probably be a c/o atmosphere rather than completely nude all the time. There are times when it does feel better to wear clothes than not but I am sure on here would disagree, LOL. As for going to the resort it is a year round place and it stays warm here in Oklahoma quite late in the year so I think we will be okay. I just e-mailed them again and asked some more questions so our first visit will be quite soon.

[Naturist Mark]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Weims4Life:
So my next question is: should I continue with what I am doing and hope he'll get used to it or should I quit and go back into "hiding?" He says he doesn't want to be naked and doesn't want to see me that way, he is only 7. He has never had a problem in the past with taking his clothes off and running around with his brothers and sister. So NOW WHAT, HELP!!!!! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Tell him he doesn't have to be naked unless he wants to, but he doesn't get to decide when the other family members are. He should understand if you ask him if he thinks it would be fair if his brothers or sister were to decide for him.

You can also remind him that he doesn't have to look at parts of your body (or anyone else's) that embarrass him, he can just look at your eyes. I expect any real embarrassment won't last long, but a 7 year old's stubborness can take a while.

-Mark

[Boreas]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Weims4Life:. The kids came from an abuse situation but it was physical and not sexual. They were beaten up daily by their birth mother's boyfriend http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif and she did nothing to stop it and took his side rather than theirs. They are both in prison and will be there for quite a few more years, thank god. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

After four years I am sure they trust you now! This still might be a little scary for him, but can be hugely helpful for helping him learn to trust. I mean if he can be naked with his family, he can trust more fully now can't he! http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

I used to work with kids that had been abused. It is always nice to hear when they get good homes and some security at a fairly early age. It sure helps them grow up to feel safe and be healthy!

[Ben_m]

Congratulations, Weims4Life! That was mucher braver than I was. I mentioned before I got some resistance from my oldest daughter, but she got over it. I predict with some caution/understanding and consistency (don't go back now http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif ) a 7-year old male will get through it quite quickly.

[Bob S.]

Weims, I am happy that you had the confidence share your own nudism with your children. You have done an extensive job explaining your experiecne, but what about your husband? Does he also partake of the home nudity? If so, how have the kids handled it? If not, could this explain part of your son's sudden reluctance?

"It will probably be a c/o atmosphere rather than completely nude all the time."

That is how all homes should be, CO. And that is how the situation should be handled. Let your children know that, unless you tell them otherwise, they may wear whatever they want, and that includes nothing, letting them know that you are going to follow the same dress code.

Of course, other issues such as visitors need to be resolved quickly as well. You don't want your children just coming in the house with their friends when you or your husband are naked.

In regards to your youngest, just let him be. When you explain the CO rules of the house, he will understand and will adapt to the situation. He may take slower than the others, but that is fine.

Bob S.

[oldbob]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">As for going to the resort it is a year round place and it stays warm here in Oklahoma quite late in the year so I think we will be okay. I just e-mailed them again and asked some more questions so our first visit will be quite soon. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

If the club you are planning to visit is Oak Lake Trails, I think you will have a good experience. I haven't been there for several years now. When I did belong, it was a great family atmosphere. If there are other kids there the day you visit, your kids will probably spend most of the time there playing with them and ignoring you. It's clothing optional except for the pool so your son can go at his own pace. An advantage of going to a club is that you won't be the only naked adult there, so seeing you naked will not be so special. And tell your husband what he's worried about won't happen. It just won't.

Have fun. I miss Oak Lake Trails and its 400 acres of woods to roam about.

Bob

[twldr2002]

It won't be long for your 7 year old son to feel comfortable in the nude and soon he won't even notice when you are nude or not.

When you go to the club (hopefully it has a clothing free policy in place) your 7 year old will want to play and have fun and enjoy being in his birhday suit with his siblings, his parents and hopefully new friends.

[Nudist Bear]

Weims,

Congrats on giving your children the option of going nude. You have no idea how much this will help their self-esteem. I was nude with my mother for a few years, but she decided to stop when I was 6 or 7. But those great feelings of being nude and unashamed helped me be self confident when most teens are feeling the opposite.

I'm assuming the club you are talking about is Oak Lake Trails . They have a clothing optional policy. It's the only way my wife will go to a club. It really is a nice family place or it was a few years back when we were members.

Good luck with raising 4 kids with that troubled background.

Scott

[nakednudists]

Awesome avatar Nudist Bear!!!

[cigarhog]

I had the same experience as Nudony's friend. My daughter is 18. When she was 17 I just started to leave the door to the bedroom & the bathroom open. If she saw me, she saw me. One day I got out of the shower and she was in my bedroom talking to my wife. I just walked into the bedroom & she kept right on talking. I was somewhat relieved that my daughter had no reaction.
My wife is not a nudist and didnt mind her seeing me, however she did ask that I not just hang around the house nude when my daughter is home. Hopefully that will change too.
I wish I had been a nudist when my daughter was born so I could have raised her that way. You have a great opportunity
Good luck!!
Bruce

[Nudist Bear]

Thank you nakednudists, I love you avatar as well.

I once met a man from these forums who brought his 10-year-old son with him to Turtle Lake Resort for the first time. The boy was a little shy at first and wasn't sure if he would get nude, but once his Dad did the boy was nude and in the water. Afterward he asked his Dad when they could return.

I have a 10-year-old granddaughter, and she has three younger brothers. How I wish I could introduce them all to social nudism, but my daughter and son-in-law are embarrassed by nudity and have always kept the children from seeing each other nude as much as possible.

[Fresh Air]

I'll echo the TALK thing. I think it is vital to talk to them about it first and even give them a chance to say how they might not like it. I don't think they should be forced to be a part of it themselves if they feel uncomfortable. I also don't think it is a good idea to have them exposed to other nudists (resort), unless they are ready and willing.

Your kids are young, but not young enough to lack some independence in their own life decisions. The good news is, kids are probobly more open to it than adults, they haven't had all the years of brainwashing that we have.

Dan

[merum]

Weims has the right idea, just take it slow with your 7 year old.
My daughter is now 13, and I have been nude around her since she was born. She was also comfortable being nude, which was comical when she visited my wife's parents and would come out of the bath or shower and walk around nude as if it were home.
This summer she went away to camp for a month, unfortunately when she returned she became uncomfortable with my nudity. When she was around I would cover up, a towel or a long shirt, gradually she came around, and my being nude is ok, when she needs something she will walk in on me. With winter coming I expect she will be loosing the swimsuit in the hot tub. Just too cold when you get out.

[Sauna]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by merum:
With winter coming I expect she will be loosing the swimsuit in the hot tub. Just too cold when you get out. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I hope it happens. We have been in sauna with entire family from the beginnig and we have four children. In sauna everybody is naked and usully also after that when drying.

[Weims4Life]

Hi all,

We have had a minor setback in being nude at home. My step dad has moved in with us for ????? and thinks nudity is not appropriate, especially adults with children, so we find ourselves throwing off our clothes when he goes out and scurrying around to put them back on when he comes home. It is quite funny to see, LOL. He is going off camping next month so we will get to be nude the whole time he is gone, four days I think? It kind of sucks but I can't turn him away, he has been displaced by Katrina http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

Since I've lived in a place that is nudist for nearly two years, I don't have that problem any more. However, if I still lived in a textile area and had to have a non-nudist living with me, they would be told that (1) I am ALWAYS nude in my home if it's warm enough, and I WILL have the temperature warm enough to be nude. (2) If you don't like my nudity that's tough; then don't look. (3) It's my home and I set the rules. (4) You will abide by my rules in my home. (5) You don't set ANY rules in MY home. (6) If you don't want to abide by my rules, I can point you to a nice motel or hotel.

If that sounds harsh then so be it. I am personally sick and tired of prudes telling me that nudity is always sexual and is wrong at any time other than bathing or having sex, and that the human body is offensive. OK, I'm finished ranting now. http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[nekkidmn19]

Hey Weims,

I wanted to congratualate ya on introducing nudism to such wonderful children. I am a young nudist at the age of 19. I was at first very nervous when i got started, but now i love the lifestyle. The main thing im interested in is making more friends that are nudist and are around my age. But once again congrats!!!, and hope things look up for your step dad as far as hurricane wise.

[naturalmanwa]

Seems like your stepdad should get over his objections since he is there out of your generosity. If he doesn't like it, no one is forcing him to join in. He doesn't have the right to disrupt your family life even if he don't have anyplace to go!

[Weims4Life]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by naturalmanwa:
Seems like your stepdad should get over his objections since he is there out of your generosity. If he doesn't like it, no one is forcing him to join in. He doesn't have the right to disrupt your family life even if he don't have anyplace to go! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

While I do agree with this statement I have to tell you that there is no way I could walk around nude in front of him, LOL. I don't know what my hang up is but I just couldn't do it. The kids do still run around nude occassionally but for me personally I can't http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

[PascoDoug]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Weims4Life:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by naturalmanwa:
Seems like your stepdad should get over his objections since he is there out of your generosity. If he doesn't like it, no one is forcing him to join in. He doesn't have the right to disrupt your family life even if he don't have anyplace to go! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

While I do agree with this statement I have to tell you that there is no way I could walk around nude in front of him, LOL. I don't know what my hang up is but I just couldn't do it. The kids do still run around nude occassionally but for me personally I can't http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I can't imagine going nude in front of my family members either. Many nudists who were not raised in a family that held a casual attitude about nudity at home have this issue.

[Nu]

Sorry to read of the setback.
But, good of you to help your stepfather.

Look for opportunities for your stepfather-jobs, relocation, return to former home, etc.
His stay with you should be temporary.

Once he leaves,nenew the nudity.

Weims4Life,

I understand your reluctance to be nude in front of your stepkids. However, after any initial curiosity on their part is satisfied, they would quickly adjust to seeing you nude as though it's perfectly normal, which it is.

Your unwillingness to be nude in front of them will eventually rub off on them, and they won't want to be nude in front of you or each other. It would be a real shame for them to lose that love of being natural. However, only you can decide for yourself what to do. I hope you can get over your embarrassment of them seeing you nude and give it a try. The more time you spend nude around them, the less self-conscious you will become. Being nude is SO much more comfortable as long as it's warm enough. I find clothes VERY uncomfortable, and I feel more restricted in my movements.

[Weims4Life]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Jon-Marc:
Weims4Life,

I understand your reluctance to be nude in front of your stepkids. However, after any initial curiosity on their part is satisfied, they would quickly adjust to seeing you nude as though it's perfectly normal, which it is.

Your unwillingness to be nude in front of them will eventually rub off on them, and they won't want to be nude in front of you or each other. It would be a real shame for them to lose that love of being natural. However, only you can decide for yourself what to do. I hope you can get over your embarrassment of them seeing you nude and give it a try. The more time you spend nude around them, the less self-conscious you will become. Being nude is SO much more comfortable as long as it's warm enough. I find clothes VERY uncomfortable, and I feel more restricted in my movements. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

You got it backwards, me and the kids are fine albeit new to nudism, it's my STEPDAD that I can't get nude in front of. Has moved in after being displaced by Katrina.

[PascoDoug]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Weims4Life:
You got it backwards, me and the kids are fine albeit new to nudism, it's my STEPDAD that I can't get nude in front of. Has moved in after being displaced by Katrina. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

What about your husband? He seems to have disappeared in all this.

[Bob S.]

Just curious Weims, What part of Katrina Country was he from?

Bob S.

[Weims4Life]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by PascoDoug:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Weims4Life:
You got it backwards, me and the kids are fine albeit new to nudism, it's my STEPDAD that I can't get nude in front of. Has moved in after being displaced by Katrina. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

What about your husband? He seems to have disappeared in all this. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

He doesn't really care what we do but he prefers to wear clothes in the house. He likes to skinny dip in our pool and he sleeps nude but I am still working on him about going to the nude resort in our area. He doesn't believe all the advice I have been given about the age old erection question, LOL.

[Bob S.]

"He doesn't believe all the advice I have been given about the age old erection question, LOL."

Weims, tell him the age-old reection question is better than the old-age erection question http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Bob S.

[Naturist Mark]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Weims4Life:
He doesn't believe all the advice I have been given about the age old erection question, LOL. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Put it to him this way. If he is right and all of us seasoned nudists are wrong, then all they guys at the resort will be sporting wood and he will fit right in.

If we are right and he is wrong. He won't be sporting wood and neither will we.

Either way he'll fit right in.

-Mark

[Weims4Life]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Naturist Mark:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Weims4Life:
He doesn't believe all the advice I have been given about the age old erection question, LOL. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Put it to him this way. If he is right and all of us seasoned nudists are wrong, then all they guys at the resort will be sporting wood and he will fit right in.

If we are right and he is wrong. He won't be sporting wood and neither will we.

Either way he'll fit right in.

Bahahahahahahaha good way to put it.

[Petrus]

Whilst it wont help in the present situation, I believe that it is best to be open at the invitation, especially for a long stay, rather than wait until the person has arrived. I would has said something on the lines” We would love to have you stay awhile, but you must accept we normally go around nude” with no more emphasis than if you said you only serve vegetarian food or did not allow smoking etc.

[concerned]

dear weims4life

you had trouble getting nude in front of your kids who are family, i have been a nudist for a while and finally went to a nude beach with my wife for the first time which was great but my question is when it comes to family members reguardless of who they are (re mother and father in law) who i have told i am a nudist and they except me for that but still not willing to see me nude however if they did i think evryone would become comfortable(they come to our home often and i am comfortable being nude but how do i become nude in front of them annd not upset any family members(my wife excepts me being nude but not in front of them but wish i could.)
i am glad things worked out for your family.

[stomper69]

Stop being so self concious,(is that right?)your kids like being nude and so should you.A family resort is perfect,it's for families.By going on your own first,you might end up thinking they won't enjoy it.If you bring the whole family,then you'll know who's comfortable with it and who isn't.Spend the day and don't be judgemental towards anyone,including yourself.Some people take to it and some people don't,It's O.K..Good Luck!!

[walter05]

Concerned;

It is important to be respectful of other people. This is hardest when we disagree with them or want to do other things.

If your wife would be upset if you are nude in front of other people such as relatives and in-laws, you should respect that. She has agreed to go with you to a nude beach. She is showing an open minded, respectful attitude. I suggest the same.

As long as your nudity continues to be something she can respect and embrace, that is good. If she feels more and more comfortable joining you that is better. Don't make an issue.

P.S. If you don't and she continues to be more comfortable with both of you being nude, she may become the one who insists on being nude in front of them.

[Rebecca]

Hi weims4life
I know it has been a little while since this topic was a main conversation piece but I was really into your story and would love to hear your latest situation about your family and step dad. if your still here please let us know.

[Agde]

Hi weims4life! I also enjoyed reading through all the posts since it reminded me of my family when I was growing up.

A few thoughts. Its of course a perfect age to let the kids run around with no clothes. And you just naturally doing your thing is also perfect. My parents taught us just by pointing out that we all started out nude in the morning and then dressed for the occasion -- school, church, sports, weather, whatever. We were all free to wear or not wear clothes around the house. I found out later that my parents had explained this also to immediate neighbors so that our backyard was part of "the house". The front yard was equivalent to "going out" like shopping or something. My parents must have also talked to the parents of our kid "best friends" across the street since they were cool with their kids treating our house as a clothing-optional zone. Must have been a mom-to-mom thing since the moms would show up normally to retrieve their kids. The sunclub was just an extension of the same idea -- it was just one of the external places where we knew "house rules" applied. On the stepdad situation, when we had guests, we were taught that it was just polite to adjust -- we dressed like we would if we were visiting at their house.

So how are things going for you now?

[shaved couple jp]

For us it was easy, we usually stayed naked at home, so our daughters got used to it naturally. They are allready upgrown now, but when they are in our house they hurry to get their clothes off.

Try it, and you will see, no problem

[dinner123]

Did you ever get to that resort? How does your youngest feel about living clothes free now?