Need help with my girlfriend

[Layton]

I have been a private nudist for a looong time now, and I told my girlfriend about it, because I want to be totally honest with her. We joke about it in private, and while she seems to be supportive of my decision, I still get the feeling that it makes her uncomfortable. I asked her if she would like to visit a nudist resort this summer, and she said absolutely not. I like her enough that if she said "quit being a nudist or I'll break up with you", then I would choose her over nudism. HOWEVER, I would like to retain BOTH her and my freedom as a nudist. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could do or say to get her to be more willing to at least try being nude, privately or otherwise?

[Layton]

I have been a private nudist for a looong time now, and I told my girlfriend about it, because I want to be totally honest with her. We joke about it in private, and while she seems to be supportive of my decision, I still get the feeling that it makes her uncomfortable. I asked her if she would like to visit a nudist resort this summer, and she said absolutely not. I like her enough that if she said "quit being a nudist or I'll break up with you", then I would choose her over nudism. HOWEVER, I would like to retain BOTH her and my freedom as a nudist. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could do or say to get her to be more willing to at least try being nude, privately or otherwise?

[Bob S.]

Be patient and don't push anything.

You could start by talking about it as much as she lets you.

Your first step is to just get her comfortable with your nudist tendencies. If you live together, try to compromise with her to get some nudist time for yourself in exchange for something else from her.

Bob S.

[BEE-1]

Hey Layton, try spending more time being naked around her. I did this with my wife and then she started spending more time naked, not as much as me but still a little bit. I then went to a nudist resort by myself and she knew how much I enjoyed it. I go a few times a summer and I always ask her to go. She says someday she will go. She knows she only has to be naked in the pool so I think someday she will go. I dont pressure her at all about it. Iam very lucky to have a very cool wife who trusts me too and that helps. IF she ever goes it may take a long time before that happens, just dont push her to much, that will only turn her away. Good luck. PEACE....... http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/happy.gif

[Jason Lee]

Layton

Ask your girlfriend about you going nude at home

[Agde]

It just takes time and acclimation, Layton. I had a similar experience and just through little daily activities, things became routine -- like, I did exercises nude and did morning shower/shaving routines nude. Also between clothing changes, like after returning from class, I would take an "air-bathing" break while reading the newspaper or mail. Tried to keep it all completely easy-going and normal. My girlfriend relaxed, got used to my routines and eventually also didn't rush to cover up at certain times. As for outings, clothing-optional beaches let me be nude while she went through process of being comfortable with less and less on. Eventually it was no big deal to go to a fully nude beach as one kind of outing, or to spend extended periods at home au natural. It frankly was not much different than harmonizing and getting to know each other and our other personal quirks and liviing habits.

[tinner666]

Patience and acclimation are the key. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/happy.gif

[nudeM]

I echo the comments already made. Don't push her. Take baby steps and slowly work her into it, if at all possible. Compromise is the key. If she is unwilling to totally accept your nudity, then maybe she would be open to you having some 'nude time' for yourself, i.e., evenings, morning hours, etc.

I take from your post you are living together, so compromise is the key. Your love for nudity is one thing, but your the love of your life is another. Good luck and let us know how things turn out. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/smoking.gif

[Nude in the North]

Also, avoid attatching sexual overtones to your nudity.
Let her see you doing everyday "normal" activities in the nude. Cleaning house,doing dishes, cooking, or just watching a good movie on tv.
The more times you show her that nudity can be detatched from sexual activity, the more comfortable she will be.

Steve

[John P]

Yes on avoiding sexual overtones. Would that ever occur, in your naturist ambitions? It's a chance to sit back and think about what you really want.

You say you've been a "private nudist" and from what you say, it doesn't seem likely that your girlfriend would take away your "freedom as a nudist" if that's what you want to continue doing. You haven't really explained the problem.

[barebum]

May be try a clothes optional beach first so you can be naked and she can stay clothed until she gets comfortable with the idea!

[BrianRI]

My wife was not comfortable with it when we first started dating, but the more she was with me the more understanding she became. No, she does not join in to my lifestyle, but she doesn't mind if I am nude ar hang out with other nude friends.

I found that my wife doens't like being nude and did not want to be pressures into getting nude. By me being nude at home and with my friends, she does not feel pressured and it is great. She has loostened up to the idea, but it will be quite some time before she joins me outside the house.

[DenitaLC]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Layton:
I have been a private nudist for a looong time now, and I told my girlfriend about it, because I want to be totally honest with her. We joke about it in private, and while she seems to be supportive of my decision, I still get the feeling that it makes her uncomfortable. I asked her if she would like to visit a nudist resort this summer, and she said absolutely not. I like her enough that if she said "quit being a nudist or I'll break up with you", then I would choose her over nudism. HOWEVER, I would like to retain BOTH her and my freedom as a nudist. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could do or say to get her to be more willing to at least try being nude, privately or otherwise? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

You need to talk to her and find out what it is about nudism that she doesn't like or isn't comfortable with.
Does she fear being seen naked?
Does she fear seeing others naked?
Does she have good body image or does it need work.
Was she raised with nudity being a no-no?

Ask as much as you can, be open and honest. The more you learn, the more you can look for options that you both find acceptable.

If she doesn't mind seeing others nude but doesn't want to participate herself, then a C/O resort would be perfect. You could go nude and she could stay as clothed as she needs. Explain to her how "free" one feels nude and it's not about sex but sensuality.

Good luck.......give her time, patience, and information and you might just be surprised!
http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/happy.gif

[sadlerfan]

Hey Layton,

I have a simular situation as you. My wife is not a nudist,but she excepts my lifestyle. I got her to go with me to a nude beach a couple of summers ago where I was nude and she was not. She seemed to warm up to the beach after a while and she is acually going back again this summer. I hope she will be comfortable enough to try a little nudity but I don't know. Maybe you can try to get your girlfriend to go in for something like that. just go slow and maybe she will come around. I'm still trying with my wife it hasent worked yet but maybe I'm getting closer!

[Drrummer]

Hi folks

Firstly, i have a similar situation with my gf.

There are two main thoughts i have on this. Firstly, i would not ask my gf or want my gf to do anything she really isnt into. I wouldnt expect anyone to do things so culturally challenging as this just to please me. Secondly, i would normally do a lot of things or change a lot of things about myself to please someone i love or respect. So although I wouldnt expect someone to change for me, i am usually more than willing to change for someone else.

However, I am lucky enough to be with a girl who has no problem being nude with me at home or going to nude beaches with me, although she remains clothed at beaches and other public places. She even has her 7 year old son into it. Our attitude to it all is, wear clothes if you wish, dont wear them if you dont want to. We dont care if people are naked or not.

Basically what i am saying is, if you love her enough you wont ask or even expect her to change anything about herself. In the same respect, she should have the same feelings for you, although, if you want to change for her, that is your perrogative.

G

[carbuff]

Well said bravo! DRRummer.
What I was thinking though is if he is willing to drop naturism , just how much of a naturist is he really ? Now I hope this isnt taken the wrong way but it crossed my mind.

[Layton]

haha... no, i never would "drop" naturism, but i guess if she really wanted me to, i would completely stop pushing the issue with her... There is a misconception though... We don't live together, so it's not as if we have to get used to each other's routines, but we do see each other alot and i had intended on visiting a nudist resort this summer... however, it is for couples only, so, if she is not willing to go, then i guess i'm out of luck (unless i found someone else to go, and i don't think that would fly too well...), not to mention even if i could go by myself, i don't think she quiet understands what it means to be a nudist, so trying to explain why i want to go to a nudist colony by myself would be a little awkward. I do know that she has been raised in a "being naked is not a good thing" environment, but I've talked with her about it, and she is mostly concerned about 2 things:

1)She is not a supermodel, but she is better looking than she gives herself credit for... so she says she would feel awkward being around other people who could see her naked...

2)She feels awkward when being around other nude people, clothed or otherwise... I asked her if she felt awkward around me when i was nude (when we were doing something [...] or other wise) and she said no, so i asked her how many other people she had been around that were nude, and she said none... So, I had her at a dead end on that point, but she still refused to budge...

Also, she seems to find it VERY strange that families could go nude together... I tried explaining that there was nothing wrong with that, but again, a dead end...

I think that as we go further in the relationship, and maybe move in together (or get married), I could start to slowly push the topic, but I guess I was expecting too much too early, maybe i'll have to delay my trip a couple of years...

However, I would like to thank everyone that replied to this post! And rest assured, as long as I feel she has the slightest possibility of being comfortable while nude, I will be pushing the issue!

Edit: The only times that we have been nude together (or she has been nude in front of me) is when we are having some sort of sexual encounter. However, after we get done, and we are just kind of laying there talking (doing something completely non-sexual, she doesn't seem overly distressed about doing something other than having sex while nude, yet she still maintains a considerable amount of modesty...

If the nudist life style is important to you at all, might I suggest that you get this matter of mutually being socially nude settled BEFORE you plan any nuptuals? To think that you will be able to settle this matter AFTER the wedding is taking a very big chance on a major disappointment. She will or she wont...
but know which way things are going before the wedding. You just might end up like many on this site with a perminently unwilling wife. Sawdust

[lovebeingnude]

Ever since I met my wife, we have gotten into the habit of watching TV in the nude under a blanket.

You also can giving oil massages. She is hooked...

The breakthrough for public nudity came when we took a trip to Jamaica. We stayed at Couples in Ocho Rios. They have an "au natural" island. I put on zero pressure to check it out. Eventually curiosity got her and we went over.

She still is a little shy about walking around a resort nude, but has no problem swimming nude.

Originally she would "never" go nude in front of other people - So, she has come a long way.

Best advice: Take it slow. Get her nude for massages or watching TV. Don't always lead nudity into sex. Take her somewhere exotic with a "nude" area where you can get your feet wet.

[Drrummer]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Don't always lead nudity into sex. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

LoL

I wish i could do the same with my gf. Thing is, she thinks, once I am home, that it should lead to sex. Or just cos i have an erection that it should lead to sex. Anyway, thats another matter.

[NewShyNJGuy]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Layton:
1)She is not a supermodel, but she is better looking than she gives herself credit for... so she says she would feel awkward being around other people who could see her naked...

2)She feels awkward when being around other nude people, clothed or otherwise... I asked her if she felt awkward around me when i was nude (when we were doing something [...] or other wise) and she said no, so i asked her how many other people she had been around that were nude, and she said none... So, I had her at a dead end on that point, but she still refused to budge...

Also, she seems to find it VERY strange that families could go nude together... I tried explaining that there was nothing wrong with that, but again, a dead end... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey Layton,
I find/found myself in a similar dilemma here (http://clothesfreeforums.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/1400016152/m/3020083534) and it is still an on going issue especially about family nudity (http://clothesfreeforums.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/3400016152/m/6740035534?r=7920042934#7920042934). Progress takes time and sometimes it may range from a few days to a few months and perhaps even a few years. The fact that she feels comfortable when nude around you will be a start and it is a good stepping stone. She may just want to be a at home nudist if you get her into it and perhaps down the road something may pique her interest to want to go to a resort. Just try doing ordinary everyday stuff in the buff (just an echo of what others have already said here). I mean there is a glimmer of hope because at one point my girlfriend mentioned that she would love to go skinny dipping that that provides some hope. You just have to go with it and take it slow with her. Keep it warm in the house so that it will be comfortable to be nude for a while if such a time does come. Don't pressure her and make it seem like it's no big deal. The biggest step would be for her to like being nude at home and then it should get easier, but just don't push it... plant the seed of resorts and leave it at that, let it be her idea.

Good luck to ya. Keep us all posted.

-Kevin