Feeling Uncomfortable

[gopher]

When I began to get into the nudism scene, I was in good to average shape. Now, I have gained a fair amount of weight and don't feel as comfortable as I once did. I know that nudists are supposed to be accepting of all body types, but what happens when you arent comfortable with your own anymore? I plan to lose the weight this summer when i have more time to exercise, but until then i dont know. Has this happened to anyone else?

[gopher]

When I began to get into the nudism scene, I was in good to average shape. Now, I have gained a fair amount of weight and don't feel as comfortable as I once did. I know that nudists are supposed to be accepting of all body types, but what happens when you arent comfortable with your own anymore? I plan to lose the weight this summer when i have more time to exercise, but until then i dont know. Has this happened to anyone else?

[nakedjohn]

Do not feel uncomfortable, as long as you are healthy, this is important.

[dan t]

I have put on some from when I put my avatair on here but you have to be happy with what you look like.
I have been no more than 115 all my life I now am 157 this is to much for me I will get back down, I dont think I will ever get down to what I was.
But I am not unhappy with the way I look. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/wink3.gif

[luvnaturism]

There's an important difference between accepting yourself without shame for what you are and recognizing that you yourself would be better off if you lost some weight. If you can't accept yourself unconditionally as you are, you trigger all those feelings of shame that tend to make you eat more than you should.

Personally I'm a compulsive overeater, so I have much the same relationship to food that an alcoholic has to the bottle--an important difference being that no one HAS to drink, whereas it's not practical to simply swear off of food. So my addiction is a lifetime thing that is sometimes better controlled and sometimes not so well controlled. At the moment I'm in the "not so well" stage, but I have abandoned feeling guilty about it. It's just who I am, and I have to live with it.

Soon we'll be hanging out at Little Beach, and I'm not going to give a moment of concern about what others may think of my excess weight. I trust other naturists to accept me as I am, and besides I really don't care much about what people whom I've never met before and will never meet again think.

So I won't be ashamed of my overweight body, but I also understand that for my own health I have to get back into the mode of controlling my eating rather than letting it control me.

[gopher]

I would like to thank all of those who responded. The advice and support is excellent

[Fuzzy Nuts]

The problem with unwanted weight gains is that we are uncomfortable with our bodies whether naked or clothed.

[nudeM]

I don't think you are more uncomfortable, but more self-conscience. You may feel uncomfortable, but deep inside, you are more self conscience on what other may 'think' of you, which shouldn't stop you from enjoying the nudist lifestyle. Don't worry what others may think, especially in a nudist setting, for we are all in this together.

I know I have put on some pounds, slowly coming back off, and I feel uncomfortable. I am beginning to feel better now that the weight is coming down. As far as being nude and feeling uncomfortable around others, that wouldn't be an issue. I have seen others who are in worse shape that I. Besides, their weight is their issue, not mine.

Relax and enjoy life. Besides, you only live once, so enjoy. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/smoking.gif

[nacktman]

I wont say if you are feeling more uncomfortable or not, that is for you to decide.
What I will say is that, what you feel is what you are to some degree and that you must do what it takes to continue or cease the feeling you have about being more uncomfortable.

"Extra" weight is as big a deal as you make it out to be unless it is detremental to your health.
There have been numerous threads dealing with the subject of weight and some are quite intolerant, some are not.
But, what it is that works for you is important, not what others think or feel about you regarding weight.
While the need for acceptance is strong among humans it is not vital to life.

Lose weight if that is what works for you.
Don't lose weight just to appease others.

Do what you need to be comfortable.

[missouriboy]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">nudists are supposed to be accepting of all body types, but what happens when you arent comfortable with your own anymore? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>What happens is that ...nothing... happens! Unless you tell them you're uncomfortable. So just don't tell anybody. Oh, wait... it's too late now, isn't it? Dang! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/sad3.gif

[David77]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I'm not going to give a moment of concern about what others may think of my excess weight. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
You certainly surprise me, as I had a clear imaginary picture of you as being the thin, hyperactive type.

[luvnaturism]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by David77:
You certainly surprise me, as I had a clear imaginary picture of you as being the thin, hyperactive type. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sigh. If only. During my teens I was painfully thin (think "98 pound weakling"), but I got over that a long time ago. I'm not obese, but my BMI is getting uncomfortably close. I'm considerably more active than most my age, but by no means hyperactive. I do relaxation really, really well.

[Big-Thinker]

Do not worry about the weight. Real nudists should not judge you for less-mainstream-ideal body type. Sure, nudists are humans, and some could judge, but if they do, then they are the inappropriate ones - not you! I think you'll find that most nudists would be positive, and admire your courage for coming out!

I actually went to a nude swim once where I felt a little shunned because I was skinny (I'm not so skinny now).

As some have pointed out, regarding weight, only be concerned for your health, but don't be concerned with appearance in a nudist environment. Nudist locations are not pagents, they're places of acceptance!

[Buzzer]

http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/cool4.gif You're not alone!
My wife and her doctor have developed a diet that is tasy and satisfying to us both.
I have lost ten pounds in the last two months....and I cheat. My wife has lost more, as she doesn't cheet!

[Maxcellent]

gopher,

Thanks for posting this topic. I can relate to what you must be feeling. I first seriously embraced nudism last year (spring '06) when I was in average/okay shape. Over the holidays I gained a lot of weight (more than the usual few pounds) & I struggle to shed it. Since the weight gain, I have felt uncomfortable with myself & no longer go around the house nude as much as I did.
I thought it was me. Shouldn't a nudist accept all body types? I do. I can accept others as they are, but I'm having trouble accepting myself.
I gather from your post it's not so much what other nudists will think of you, it's what you think of yourself. At least, that's what I'm dealing with. I know others don't care. I know as long as I'm healthy it doesn't matter if I'm not as trim as I would like.
I have no advice how to deal with it. But, for what it's worth, you aren't alone.

[luvnaturism]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Richard Smith:
Any advice on how to overcome this uncomfortable feeling? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Most people have to get through a brief period of uncomfortable selfconsciousness the first time they are nude in a social setting. The way to overcome it is to just go do it. Accept that it may feel awkward for a bit, understand that others have had the same experience, and keep moving forward. It will pass.

Good luck.

[Richard Smith]

Thanks for the advice

(sorry but i accidentally deleted my earlier post, it was my first post on a forum so i wanted to know if i could change it if i wanted to, but i accidentally deleted it)

[Kev0]

I would rather be slimmer and more toned, and I will try to achieve it.

But it won't stop me going naked.

[johny]

However, if my shape would be like this, there would be a plenty reasons to be really ashamed.

[TV-Pilot]

Buzzer,

Can you share that diet with us. I, for one, would like to drop a few pounds. I am not obese, but I could stand to lose about 20 - 30 pounds. I am comfolrtable with myself, it is just that I know I would feel better, and have more energy if I lost the pounds. That would be more healthy and help me to enjoy life a bit longer.

Thanks.

[Ren]

I think it helps to have someone else in your life who likes the way you look as you are. Then you might not notice as much. But we are our harshest critics, generally. And if you're looking to lose weight, do so to improve your health, not just because of how you think you look. A healthy weight is important for living life well; more important than the perception of what is "beautiful".

As for that picture --- did you ever think that it could be shame that led them to get this far? Sometimes people get caught in habits that lead to unhealthful living and it's shame that actually keeps them in the cycle, even though they likely know they're on an unhealthful path. It's definitely not my cup of tea, but maybe they need compassion rather than shame. (?)

[Journeyman]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by gopher:
... I have gained a fair amount of weight and don't feel as comfortable as I once did. I know that nudists are supposed to be accepting of all body types, but what happens when you arent comfortable with your own anymore? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I felt that way about three years ago, and decided to spend some money on getting advice from a well regarded personal trainer. It was money well spent. Besides teaching me how to work out sensibly and properly (with weights and cardio machines), he also taught me not to compare myself with anyone else.

You should only compete with yourself, so that when you make beneficial changes to your body week after week , you can pat yourself on the back. You're doing it for you and no one else.

Ultimately, we can only depend on ourselves for our good health and self-esteem, right? No one can give you those two very important things to one's well-being and longevity.

Good luck on your own self-transition.

[BEE-1]

I always put my 2 cents in on the over weight issue because Iam also over weight. And Ren hit right on the head with the comment that compassion and not shame can be the biggest help to an over weight person. My Doctor has showed me the greatest compassion and Iam not skinny but I quit smoking 3 years ago and now Iam working on the over weight issue. I LOVE being naked and being with other like minded people. Even if I was skinny I still wouldnt care what other people looked like because I know how great it is to be with other naked people and share that common joy. I too still feel a little shy sometimes around others until I get to know them. I really believe like many here have said that if your happy and healthy,most real nudist are going to enjoy you and not have a issue with your weight. Some will judge us with our clothes on and with them off but after they judge us, then what? Hopefully we are naked out in the sunshine and the great outdoors and not really caring what they think anyways. PEACE.......... http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/beam.gif

[sunfisher]

Hey Gopher,
Unless you are grossly obese size is nothing to be uncomfortable about. Personly I am 6 feet tall and weigh around 200 lbs. I wear a size 36 pants tucked under my 42 inch beer gut (which my wife loves). I am quite comfortable being nude in a social enviorment and have a lot of fun with most of the people that I meet which makes it all worth while.

Gene

[Ren]

I agree that this should be joyous rather than critical. I think we're caught in a "beauty" culture that really isn't meant for human consumption --- consider how many of us fit into the stereotype. Or better still, take a look at Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston in the first two seasons of "Friends" and what they looked at by the end. Though they were conforming to the standards of the time - they were more whole in the earlier seasons and beautiful as they were. It's insidious.

As for overweight issues, which aside from a few years gorging on bad food during college, I'm lucky not to have dealt with. We have to realize that there is always a root that isn't easy to see whenever people are doing unhealthy things. It should always be about being healthy if you're losing weight. Losing weight for looks, I think, is why there are so many yo-yo diets. If you see commercials for diets and exercise, it's never about maintaining a healthy lifestyle - it's about eating junk but losing weight (somehow) or exercising 3 times a week for 20 minutes. Neither of those things contribute to the creation of a healthy lifestyle - exercise must be consistent and diet should be in agreement with the regimen.

We must foster a welcoming culture that sees more positives and that will help everyone who needs a healthy change to get moving in the right direction. Beauty is what the person is, not what the person looks like.

[sunfisher]

Beware of those that make false (indivigual results may vary) claims to make you lose weight. They only lighten wallet/ bank account.

Gene

[barebum]

I always seem to put weight on over the winter months, and then work hard during spring to get rid of it, suppose its just comfort eating during winter nights lol

[Rabid_Clam]

As we age our bodies start processes our younger set did not. One process is the storage and creation of fats we burned off in our youthful energies. Is normal to gain 'a few' and for sure I have done so. Is part of the process of living and nothing to be ashamed of.

[barebum]

Sure gets more difficult to shift the older I get lol

[Cheffred]

I am 250 lbs 6 ft so Im a bit heavy, I have seen heavier its body acceptance and health that is the most important

[sunfisher]

So true, so true

[RCH44]

I would not worry too much about your weight. Just relax get nude and have a great time.

Ralph

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by gopher:
When I began to get into the nudism scene, I was in good to average shape. Now, I have gained a fair amount of weight and don't feel as comfortable as I once did. I know that nudists are supposed to be accepting of all body types, but what happens when you arent comfortable with your own anymore? I plan to lose the weight this summer when i have more time to exercise, but until then i dont know. Has this happened to anyone else? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

[shãybare]

http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/cool4.gif
Just remember it is about stress relief. Relax and do not worry what others may think. To the majority it will not make a difference.