HELP!

[Kristin]

I never thought I'd be posting in New Naturists. I bet most of the rest of you never thought that either. Well, after being at least semi-naturist for all of my 14 years, here's why I'm new: I'm new to all the problems. I've been lucky I'm told, that I've been raised clothing-optional since birth and that I have friends that couldn't care less what or how much I'm wearing.

It's only now that it's starting to sink in that I'm different. Up until now, the fact that I could have some of my friends over and keep my clothes off was enough. I still can. It's not that I have any new problems, I just have a slew of old problems that I didn't realize until now.

Teenagers are always looking for a sense of identity. I have that. I'm a naturist soccer player who loves hanging out with her friends and watching football (the American kind) with her father. I'm outgoing and love making friends. Recently I've started getting into the almost exhibitionist side of things, although just streaking for now.

So there's my identity. The problem is, there's a reason I put naturist first. That's the most important to me. Which means that whenever I'm wearing clothes in school, I'm not being myself. I have to hide the biggest part of myself, both literally and figuratively, in order to get through school, which is the majority of my waking hours counting soccer practice.

Then there's boyfriends. Me and my friends are freshmen in high school. Some of them have started the dating game, others are still in the crush stage. I can't join in. I have two choices if I want a boyfriend. 1) I don't tell him and play the hiding my identity game like I talked about before, or 2) I tell a hormone-charged teenage boy that I enjoy running around buck naked, which will enter his ears as "Naked...must have sex now." In other words, either I delve deeper into the hell that wearing clothes has become (for reasons other than a slight discomfort) or I stand a pretty good chance of losing my virginity well before I want to. Thus the choice is simple, I'm single till the hormones wear off.

I need help. I'm new to all the problems that naturism can cause.

[Kristin]

I never thought I'd be posting in New Naturists. I bet most of the rest of you never thought that either. Well, after being at least semi-naturist for all of my 14 years, here's why I'm new: I'm new to all the problems. I've been lucky I'm told, that I've been raised clothing-optional since birth and that I have friends that couldn't care less what or how much I'm wearing.

It's only now that it's starting to sink in that I'm different. Up until now, the fact that I could have some of my friends over and keep my clothes off was enough. I still can. It's not that I have any new problems, I just have a slew of old problems that I didn't realize until now.

Teenagers are always looking for a sense of identity. I have that. I'm a naturist soccer player who loves hanging out with her friends and watching football (the American kind) with her father. I'm outgoing and love making friends. Recently I've started getting into the almost exhibitionist side of things, although just streaking for now.

So there's my identity. The problem is, there's a reason I put naturist first. That's the most important to me. Which means that whenever I'm wearing clothes in school, I'm not being myself. I have to hide the biggest part of myself, both literally and figuratively, in order to get through school, which is the majority of my waking hours counting soccer practice.

Then there's boyfriends. Me and my friends are freshmen in high school. Some of them have started the dating game, others are still in the crush stage. I can't join in. I have two choices if I want a boyfriend. 1) I don't tell him and play the hiding my identity game like I talked about before, or 2) I tell a hormone-charged teenage boy that I enjoy running around buck naked, which will enter his ears as "Naked...must have sex now." In other words, either I delve deeper into the hell that wearing clothes has become (for reasons other than a slight discomfort) or I stand a pretty good chance of losing my virginity well before I want to. Thus the choice is simple, I'm single till the hormones wear off.

I need help. I'm new to all the problems that naturism can cause.

[Trailscout]

Kristin,
This is primarily a dating issue, which is somewhat affected by your nudism.

Teen boys and girls both need help in dealing with these new very strong feelings of attraction for the opposite sex.

I can still remember my high school days quite well and I know that girls under 16 or so who went out on unchaperoned dates, particularly with older boys, often lost their virginity. Wearing clothes will not provide you much additional protection when you are alone with the wrong kind of boy and there is no adult on the scene to help you escape.

I started dating at 17. Girls at that age were getting pretty good at saying no to unwanted sex. Some of them even knew a little martial arts!

Does your family take you to any nudist resorts? Are there any cute guys your age there?
Nudist teens don't lose their interest in sex, but they are used to seeing others nude and the nudist resorts tend to chaperone their young people so you are not alone somewhere having sex.

I did go on a lot of group activities when I was your age instead of solo dating and I don't feel like I missed out on a thing!

I was a pretty good teen guy, but I am glad that I was not ever in a situation where I was tempted beyond my power to resist.

[Dude in Nor Cal]

Kristen-

I know identity is important, but who you are- the essence of your being- is not dependent on whether or not you are wearing clothes. Yes, you do have to be clothed at school, but if your nudism is the only thing you have to hide at school you should consider yourself fortunate. I don't think there is a high school anywhere that allows nudity, so the only alternative is home schooling.

It is not essential that everyone know who you are, or who you want to be. You have friends who know you, your family accepts you. You're not being false to yourself by wearing clothes at school- you're following a law.

As far as boys go, we do tend to be hornballs. It is likely they wouldn't understand that just because you're naked doesn't mean you want to jump thier bones. Most guys will probably come around to the idea of seeing their girlfriend naked in a nonsexual sense if you start somewhere like a beach or at home (although it would be pretty awkward for a guy to see you naked while your parents are hanging around... /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif but much safer that way). We're not completely bad, after all.

Best of luck! I hope and expect everything will work out for you.

[Frank R]

Kristin,
You are correct in that I was quite surprised to see your post here. However, I think with your level of maturity and intelligence, you will be quite able to resolve any problems that do arise. I just read an article that said about 1/3 of teenagers having sex are doing it in a bedroom of their parents house during evening hours so even having a boyfriend over to your house is not necessarily a safeguard it appears. Your parents are probably your best source of advice if problems do arise. At this point, I would say simply follow your own best judgement guided by your experience. Best of luck and please let us know how you come out. I loved following your experience in "How not to tell a friend".

[Bob S.]

Kristin, you said that:
"Teenagers are always looking for a sense of identity. I have that. I'm a naturist soccer player who loves hanging out with her friends and watching football (the American kind) with her father.
I'm outgoing and love making friends. Recently I've started getting into the almost exhibitionist side of things, although just streaking for now."

Really Kristin, I believe that you are more than just those descriptors. You are also a very smart teenager with some street smarts. What you are describing are your pasttimes, not your essence. Not truly who you are.

Boys and girls are basically the same when they are born through about the age of 3. After that, social roles come into play. Then puberty hits and suddenly, it is assumed that everybody is different. Suddenly, boys and girls become mysterious to each other. I never really went through that phase as I have always had best friends that were girls. They were no more strange than the boys my age.

Of course, I never had the nudist issue come up, nor did I date in high school. My best friends were all I needed.

Now as I said, you have street smarts. You know which boys are mature enough to hear about your lifestyle and not immediately think about the pre-date drug store purchase. Try and only go out with those guys. And also, it is not necessary to spill your whole life story on the first date. Not telling someone about a part of your life, no matter how major, especially if it as "controversial" as this one, is not lying about yourself, it is getting to know him better.

And you also know how to talk about going naked in a subtle way. Important, trust yourself and your judgement. That is one thing that a lot of teens, and even some adults, are still lacking. You know yourself inside and out. No one else does.

Bob S.

[Bob S.]

One more thing.

I love soccer, either watching it or playing it. I played for a neighborhood team when I was much younger for about 5-6 years (3 seasons per year). My sister played from about the age of 6 through college.

Just wondering, what position do you play? Just for school or another league? I was defender, my sister was goalie. And FYI, Steve Jolly from the MLS NY/NJ Metrostars went to my high school and graduated either in my class or the year ahead of me. I can't remember.

Bob S.

[Yooper]

Kristin,

If you wait for the hormones to go down you will wait for a long time. I am 52 and enjoy seeing my wife nude. I can be arroused just by the sight of her even when I am fully clothed. I can offer you this. When I was college age, I participated in nude activities with my then girlfriend. When nude for purposes other than sex, we could enjoy ourselves and not have a problem stepping over the line. So, it is attitude that is most important. If you meet a guy that you can trust to treat you with respect and know that sexual relations are not what you are looking for, you should still be able to enjoy nude activities without too much worry.

[CT]

Hi there Kristin

I'm 22 and a twin, I'm RT's (Robin)twin bro Casey. Rob and I grew up in the naturist lifestyle and enjoy it, I would not change lifestyles for any reason. I have met so many awesome people my age in the lifestyle, both male and female.

I do have non naturist friends and they respect my lifestyle and have even come to a few naturist events, outings with us and some have enjoyed the experience. One mate (Matt) has been to the local nude beach with my bro Robin while I was in the UK and we thing he is a convert, we don't push our lifestyle onto anyone but we invite them to either the local nude beach or a youth naturist event and if they say no, we respect that.

I guess what I'm trying to say is if your mates don't respect you and your lifestyle, are they true mates (buddys, friends).

I know it's hard at your age as I was that age not so long ago and had to decide do I want to tell my high school mates what we do on the weekends in summer. Rob & I decided to be honest up front and where glad we made that decission.

CT (Casey Turnbull), from down under in Aussieville, Go the Wallabies !

[Bartamus]

Welcome to the forum Casey. It's about time we
heard from Robin's RT's other half!

I was wondering if Casey was real or a figment of Robin's imagination. Welcome, Casey, to the forum. I'm one of the older members here at 56. However, I've only been into social nudity about a year and a half and wish I had gotten into it decades ago.

It seems to me that nudism is more an old folks game than for the young since I see so few young people at the resort where I go. The few teens I see are always dressed unless they're swimming. I never put my clothes on when I'm at the resort until I have to leave. Then I put it off as long as possible and very reluctantly do so.

I can't understand what people see in clothes. They're very uncomfortable and are only good for protection from adverse weather. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

[Gary Naturist]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kristin:

The problem is, there's a reason I put naturist first. That's the most important to me. Which means that whenever I'm wearing clothes in school, I'm not being myself.

Then there's boyfriends. ... either I delve deeper into the hell that wearing clothes has become (for reasons other than a slight discomfort) or I stand a pretty good chance of losing my virginity well before I want to. Thus the choice is simple, I'm single till the hormones wear off.

I need help. I'm new to all the problems that naturism can cause. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Two comments Kristin:

First, your comments that wearing clothes is unnatural to you. Same for me, although only when it's warm and sunny. In colder weather, I don't have the same desire to be nude. It would be interesting to know if others are as strongly driven to be nude as you (all the time) and me (in the summer). How about starting a thread on this topic, and explaining your feelings in more detail?

Re boyfriends. You may be selling your friends short. I think that there are many guys who can handle the idea of nudism without going crazy.

I go frequently to a nudist beach (actually a dock) on a small lake in BC. At this location, there are always groups of teens. Equal numbers of guys and girls, about half nude and half not. They are all very comfortable with their friends' choice to be nude or not.

Having read a lot of your posts, it seems to me that nudism is so big a part of your life that it might be better if you went public, in a low key way. Think of the continuing stress of suppressing your true self. It strikes me that you (and other closet nudists) have the same problem as gays who have not come out. Keeping your true self hidden is not healthy for you.

I think that you can approach communicating nudism from a freedom, body acceptance, sensual (not sexual) point of view -- i.e. you can take on the role of educating your friends to non-sexual nakedness. I think you can even present nudism as being cool.

You have suggested that you are not sexually active and don't intend to "lose" your virginity for some time. I think that this makes things easier re the education approach. You can present yourself as a nudist without giving people a reason to label you as a "slut" or whatever.

Gary

[CT]

Hey INA Dudes and Dutets

Thanks for the welcome Jon-marc, sometimes I wish RT was a figment of my imagination, just kidding bro.

Rob & I just got home from the local nude beach with our best friend Matt, it was awesome day. It is very warm here today.It's still about 31c here right now.

I was stuned to see Matt strip off with no hesitation, unlike previous times he had been to the local nude beach with us. Rob was saying on the way home that he was teh same last time he went alone with Matt.

I don't go to resorts but prefer to hang at the local beach, it's much closer than any of the resorts here in N.S.W. There are a not a lot of youths at the local beach, I would say there was about 20 today, about 12 guys and 8 girls. They where all nude all the time.

Well, It's my turn for a shower so Casey signing out until next time I log on to the INA forum.

[friendlynudist]

Kristen, Don't worry about the nudity going with sex thing, it's all your decision. I had a girlfrind when I was younger that we would go to her father's farm and go skinny dipping in the creek. We had no more sexual contact naked than we did when we were clothed and out necking some where. Stick to your morals and let your closer friends know that your family is a c/o type family. You are the one that can keep him at arms length and you are the one that says yes or no.

[Hub D]

Hi Kristin,

Your desire to fit in is normal and you want to continue your naturist lifestyle but you seem to think that both are incompatible especially if you do not want to be sexually active for a while. I think you could and should expect to have it your way on all three counts. I think it is good for you to be part of an inner circle of friends (guy and girls) that you can trust and that you can have fun with. Actually it is much better for you at your age and right into young adulthhood to be part of a gang of cool, kids you are not ashamed to present to your parents, then to have a boyfriend. That way, it is a lot easier to keep at arms length and you are not locked in to a relationship that you may very well soon find stifling.

As for naturism, you have one up on all your textile friends. You may have noticed that your friends have fears and taboos about the human body that you don?t have. Most girls think that (especially if they?re kinda cute) their body is something that automatically makes the members of the opposite sex go out of control. The guys have fallen for this false idea too. But once they try naturism (that is if they get the nerve to try it) they will find out quite rapidly that this is not the case (something you knew all along). This is where having your own gang comes in handy. You said some of your girl friends know and are getting comfortable that you like to live naked as much as possible. That is good. Now all you have to to is to keep gently pushing the envellope. As time goes by more and more girls will be cool about your lifstyle and maybe some will want to participate. And then as guys will join your group, some will be bound to find out at some point in time. Although things may get a little hot when that happens, you will have a big enough following on the girls side to make it understood right up front that this is not a sexual thing. The guys that have the nerve to try it (on your terms) will find out for themselves to their great relief, and quite rapidly, that it is nowhere as titillating as they imagined it to be just a few moments before. They will realise that they can be the master of their own body and not the other way around.

Good luck,
Hub

[Kristin]

I was going to post this yesterday, but boy am I glad I waited a day. You?ll see why soon. Have fun reading in the meantime.

Originally, my solution to the problem was to streak. Sounds like a great idea, right? Everyone would see me naked, everyone would know I?m a nudist. Well, not exactly. I?m very familiar with the fact that just cuz I see someone naked doesn?t mean they?re a nudist (i.e. a number of my friends). They?re more likely to think I?m a slut than they are to think I?m a nudist. In fact, they?re probably more likely to think I?m a slut if I streak than if I just told them I was a nudist. The nice people at the netnude.com chatroom talked me out of this idea bound to backfire. (This site should have a chatroom.)

For those of you who I haven?t already told and couldn?t infer it from my original post, my problem is that I hide more than my breasts, butt, etc. when I?m clothed. I hide everything. I?m not nearly as talkative in school as I am when I?m naked at home, or anywhere else. I?m always paranoid that someone will overhear me accidentally mention nudism.

The nice people in the netnude.com chatroom helped me realize that it wasn?t the clothes that were holding me back. I don?t live in Taliban Afghanistan, my clothes don?t cover my mouth. It was all paranoia, and a somewhat irrational one. I?ve just got to get over this fear of (basically) talking to my friends. If someone overhears me, so what? That?s what I wanted, wasn?t it? I want them to know. (Just keep telling yourself that, Kristin)

Well, it didn?t take that long for me to get over it to the point where today I was talking to one of my friends, one that did not know I was a nudist, about tanning. She asked me how I keep my tan halfway into November (which is a feat even in the Southeastern US), and it had a simple answer. I just tan better and hold tans longer than anyone I know (which is odd considering my 100% British/Irish heritage, maybe it?s because I?m the first lifelong nudist in my family). The conversation didn?t end there, though, and at one point I found myself discreetly baring a shoulder so she could see my lack of tan lines. When she asked me how I did it, I managed to answer without hesitation that I just laid on a lawn chair in my backyard naked (I might have included the word bare-***). Of course, there were people around, and one of them pointed and called me a nudist as if it were a derogatory term like ***ot. I then gave him the middle finger and said ?So what?? Me and my friend continued walking in silence for a little while until she asked ?Are you?? to which I of course said yes. Her reaction was somewhat positive, but she?s not someone I can open the door naked for like my other friends (panties and a robe with half each breast hanging out maybe).

This girl is literally the first person I?ve ever told I was a nudist without swearing to secrecy first. Who knows who she?ll tell. Probably no one. I?m more worried about/looking forward to who finds out about me flicking off that guy. I can?t wait for school tomorrow, although I?m not sure whether I?m waiting for something good or bad. Truth is, it?s probably the good, the bad, AND the ugly.

[Kristin]

Just a couple of other things to wrap up:

For those of you who were focusing on the boyfriend issue, thank you. But that was the lesser of the two problems and I'm sure it will resolve itself with time (as the maturity level of the guys goes up).

And for Bob who asked about soccer, mostly I play forward but I play every position except goalie now. (I played it before in the youth league.) I played in a youth league from age 6 to 12, then I took a year off, and now i'm playing it for my high school.

[Brian]

Hi Kristin,

Well done!!. I'm soo pleased for you. You have made the step you wanted and needed to make. I am sure things will get easier for you now and you may end up with some more nude friends too. Feel that closet door close behind you.

Best Regards,
Brian.

[The Real Doodles]

Well, you are not the only having this problem. My dilemma was even worse, since I cant even tell my closest friends I am a nudist (it ll be taken the wrong way here, nudism isnt very much popular in Egypt), thus I had to deal with people with a totally different character (same as u do). I was quite sure at a time that I d never meet a nudist girl here so I never had it in my mind that I d be telling them I m a nudist and thus, with every girl I thought about, whether it was a crush or a date I had ta deal with her with ma other identity. I stayed away from the dating game for a while, because I believed in the one and absolute love that is meant for u (sounds daft, but wait till ya read that) and one night, while browsing the Netnude board I came across a post, posted by, a nudist Egyptian girl! of course I was doubtful at the very beginning, we chatted together for sometime (a few months) and then we met! and everything was very real! So, my advice for ya, is not to rush blindly in to some relationship cuz everyone s gt in to the dating game, but to wait, and.. just have some belief /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

I bet it now feels great that you can let all out and share your problems with friends. After all, that's all what friends are for /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[The Real Doodles]

So basically I got it the wrong way.I was talking all about the boyfriends issue while it was the one causing less problems to you. Anyway, back to the main program.
When you said you dont live in 'Taliban Afghanistan' something came up in to my mind. I live in Egypt, which pretty much like Taliban Afghanistan, despises nudity and have the same laws about it.
Add to that the fact that my family is not nudist. My mum is the last person in this world I expect to be nudist. Still, I managed to do things 'my own way', become a 'closet' nudist and stay that way till I leave this house and start my own nudist family. To me, the solution was simpler than the problem. If I go and tell my friends, close or not, sworn to secrecy or not, that I like to 'run around naked' as u quoted, they d think I m lewd. So what should I do? Keep it a secret.
Maybe, because I wasnt raised in a nudist family and because I dont spend the bigger part of my day (and life) naked I found it easy to play both puns- when I am alone in my room I m a nudist, I m naked, I chat to nudist friends online, elsewhere I m the normal average guy that everyone expects me to be. Leading life with a double persona may not be the best thing to live with, but that was the only way for me to survive and live my life the way I want to be.
Maybe your problem is a confidence problem. You are more confident when the person you talk to knows all about you, and maybe you are even more confident when you are naked than when you are clothed. It could be well said that your alter-ego-nudist persona is slowly taking over your other identity.. a classical case of persona dominating persona thing (like Two-Face in Batman.. only less harmful). So generally, you are always left with two choices: either you tell the person infronta ya u r a nudist and bear the consequences (which is what you did), or just shy away , loose confidence, or whateva.
So basically, the better choice is to tell people that you are a nudist, but still let your more confident, fun loving character run free. Here's what I suggest: is to wisely think about matters relatively: if telling a certain friend that you are a nudist wouldnt cause much harm to your reputation amongst other friends- go tell them. If it will do cause you trouble- just avoid it at all costs.

I think a lot of nudists have to lead a double life--being two people in one body. There's the naturist who loves being nude when and wherever possible, and there's the lie some of us live. We wear clothes when we don't want to, and we don't tell some people we're a nudist, not because we're ashamed of it but because we know we will be judged and condemned. I'm not talking about the general public whose opinions mean nothing to me. I'm talking about friends and family members that we are sure will turn against us if they knew. We may be wrong, but are we willing to take that chance? I'm not sure I am. I wish I had the courage to openly tell everyone that I'm a nudist. By "everyone" I don't mean every single person I see. I mean everyone that I know. Nudism is something that is so shocking and embarrassing to so many people.

My grown nephew who lives with me has a 10-year-old son. I'm always nude in my home even when the boy is here. He mentioned to his mother and step-dad that I'm a nudist. The step-dad said something like, "How can he be a Christian and run around naked?" That is the "problem" with my being a Christian who is a nudist. Too many people don't believe the two are compatible. I and other Christian nudists know the two are compatible. However, I'm afraid of the damage being a nudist can do to my testimony as a Christian. So I keep quiet about it to most people. I have no intention of giving up the nudist lifestyle since I KNOW there's nothing wrong with it. I'll just be particular as to who knows about it. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

[Brian]

So, Kristin, how are things on this front now. Has your collection of people who know grown much?

Regards.

[Kristin]

By a few, yes. And no major problems to report. /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

[Brian]

That's soo good to hear Kristin. My daughter has decided that she will tell only her 'special' friends that she likes to go skinny-dipping with her dad & brother -- mind you, she is only 7 now. She told her b/f (yes b/f!) and his parents and they are surprisingly ok with it (but would never do it..LOL), which is nice.

BTW, how's the streakign going - bit cold now I guess.

Regards,
Brian.