What is the protocol about introducing yourself to others at a nude beach

[walter05]

Yesterday, a mentor and I were at Apollo Beach. We were relaxing and enjoying the beach. We were not at water level but closer to the dunes.

(It was raining just south of us and drizzling at parking area 3 but beautiful in the nude area.)

A man who was wearing clothes from the same designer as us. He was walking down the beach and walked up close to us. We said hello and he said hello. He then walked off but kept walking in our general area and looking back at us for about fifteen minutes.

Nothing untoward happened. He may have been as inexperienced as me. I would prefer to think he was not sure if he should formally introduce himself or not.

I would have preferred while we were away from the water to have been left alone. If I were on a textile beach, I would not have expected anyone to walk up and introduce himself while we were laying out, relaxing, and enjoying the beach.

However, the incident raised an interesting question. If there are others on a nude beach that are lying down, reading etc., is it better to leave them alone or introduce oneself? I would prefer to be left alone.

Is it impolite to hang around close enough to see what they are doing but at a distance? I think so.

Again, I don't think this gentleman meant any harm. I never felt threatened. I think he was as inexperienced as me. The question is what is the correct thing to do.

[walter05]

Yesterday, a mentor and I were at Apollo Beach. We were relaxing and enjoying the beach. We were not at water level but closer to the dunes.

(It was raining just south of us and drizzling at parking area 3 but beautiful in the nude area.)

A man who was wearing clothes from the same designer as us. He was walking down the beach and walked up close to us. We said hello and he said hello. He then walked off but kept walking in our general area and looking back at us for about fifteen minutes.

Nothing untoward happened. He may have been as inexperienced as me. I would prefer to think he was not sure if he should formally introduce himself or not.

I would have preferred while we were away from the water to have been left alone. If I were on a textile beach, I would not have expected anyone to walk up and introduce himself while we were laying out, relaxing, and enjoying the beach.

However, the incident raised an interesting question. If there are others on a nude beach that are lying down, reading etc., is it better to leave them alone or introduce oneself? I would prefer to be left alone.

Is it impolite to hang around close enough to see what they are doing but at a distance? I think so.

Again, I don't think this gentleman meant any harm. I never felt threatened. I think he was as inexperienced as me. The question is what is the correct thing to do.

[NakedGary]

All depends on the actual situation. Sounds as if you describe a textile walking by and stopping or hanging around the area while you were nude lying out on the beach. If it’s an all-nude area or nude beach I would think it would be odd he would hang around viewing or looking at naked participants while clothed and introducing himself. If he wants to intermingle with others on a beach set aside for naked nudists then I think his intro approach while textile is inappropriate. Why not just get naked like the rest and then join in or introduce himself to others.
.

[luvnaturism]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by walter05:
A man who was wearing clothes from the same designer as us. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Help us understand what this statement means. Were you both clothed? Were you both nude? Were you nude while he was wearing the kinds of clothes that you wear when you're dressed?

With better understanding we can better respond.

[tiger79]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by walter05:
A man who was wearing clothes from the same designer as us. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>Walter, you need to simplify your posts! Most of us understand you, but it's obvious not everyone does.

In answer to your question, I'd also generally prefer to be left alone, and so my response to others often tends to be polite rather than effusive. On nude beaches, most people seem to establish their own little "comfort zones", and intrusion into these (unmarked) areas can be unwelcome. The place for interaction tends to be away from these comfort zones, usually near the water's edge, when conversation can usually be initiated without problems. People who hang around too close can create uncomfortable vibes.

[walter05]

For NakedGary and luvnaturism;

"A man who was wearing clothes from the same designer as us" was meant to be a clever way to say we were both nude.

tiger79, you seem to be close to thinking what I am.

[Nude in the North]

When I see a guy hanging around like that I see lots of <span class="ev_code_RED">RED FLAGS</span>too.

He was most likely after more than just a chat on the beach. And I doubt he was even a nudist.

The protocol is the same as anywhere, beach or not.
If a couple or 2 friends are relaxing together it's best to leave them alone. If they wanted company I'm sure they would invite you to join them.
If they don't invite , be polite. Move on.

Steve

[Baron Lake]

Walter, apparently your "mentors" area of expertise does not include either social interaction or written communication. Quotation marks around the word clothes would have been helpful, if not quite as subtle.
b.l.

[NakedGary]

Walter05

Nude or not I still consider one hanging around or watching others nude from a distance or close by and then approaching to introduce themselves while others are busy, reading, listening to music on earphones, or talking with others is rude and inappropriate if not invited, or first being communicative by a welcoming nod, hi how are you, or its a nice day to be nude or some indication they want to be talked to.

[luvnaturism]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by walter05:
However, the incident raised an interesting question. If there are others on a nude beach that are lying down, reading etc., is it better to leave them alone or introduce oneself? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Coming up to strangers who are lying down or reading and introducing yourself would seem pushy in most situations, and certainly so in a nude situation. In your case the man may have been a first timer, not sure what the expected protocal might be. Or he may have had hopes that were a long way distant from yours. Either way it sounds like an odd encounter.

I'm the outgoing sort who always enjoys talking with others, but I make sure not to intrude. Typically in a similar situation it works well to smile and say "Hi" as you keep walking. If the person is inclined to chat, he can then start the conversation. If not, walk on by and don't look back.

Similarly if circumstances are such that one is taking a chair or spreading a blanket near someone else, you can give them a smile, a nod, and the briefest of comments: "It's a great day to be here." If the person feels like talking he'll let you know. If not, pick up your book and read. In my experience in nudist settings names often aren't exchange until the conversation has gone on for a while.

[Orangexcalibare]

Luv,

I completely agree. It is certainly a much better idea to just while walking up and down the beach to say "great day to be here," "hello," "hey there," or something else neutral and then if the individual wants to continue the discussion they can carry on.

On a personal note, I am not a big fan of males or females who hang out while wearing clothes, swimming suits, etc, in the nude section of beaches. Obviously it is free for everyone, I just tend to be a little nervous when someone is just "checking things out."

My 2 cents.

[Dave Shaver]

Gee.............

The most obvious response is,
what would behaviour would you expect at a textiled beach?

I have been to many beaches, natural and of course textiled, and have never approached another person because of their attire or lack of attire. Times I have ever chatted with a stranger at a beach are few because I don't go to the beach to meet people. But of course, it is okay to do so.

The example presented in the previous post could be either a 'creepy old guy', just an outgoing textiled person, or a person who was actually was interested in enjoying a natural existance.

Unfortunately I would consider this encounter; an encounter of the COG.

[Dave Shaver]

I agree with Orange.

My only public 'nude beach' experience has been at Apollo and Haulover.
When clothed Park Rangers or Deputies were around, I never felt discomfort or alarm.

But whenever a textiled voyuer approached, I felt that 'it' was there for voyuerism. Of course, not all who wear cloth are actually textiled. (At nude beaches, I hope that every human would feel comfort in shedding their rags.)

I don't care about voyuerists! My only concern about their presence is how my peers at the beach feel about their presence.

The proper way to introduce yourself at a 'nude beach' is the same as at a 'beach'.

[nudeM]

I have tried to introduce my self at a nude beach several times, but each time was different. I saw this gentleman walking along the beach, and I said, "Nice day today, isn't it"? I just got a glare as though to say, "Don't bother me". On other occaisions, I was able to strike up a converation. Mind you, they and myself were nude.

I took it that several nudists enjoy their private time and wish not to be bothered. Personally, I don't care. I'm up for a nice conversation myself, but apparently everyone is not like me. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/smoking.gif

[Liam]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Dave Shaver:
....a 'creepy old guy'.... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Slanderous!!

Creepy Old Guy aka Liam

[David77]

Why say "creepy <u>old</u> guy"!
How about "creepy young guy",
or "creepy middle aged guy".

[Walt Iliff]

Reminds me of our AANR youth camps and Mark Foley. There was a COG- Creepy OUTSIDE Guy (or Girl)- alert mentioned in the NY Times article that Foley used as ammo for his diatribe about youth camps. Actually, the COG euphamism was about "Creepy Old Guys" who seemed to affect an inordinate amount of interest in our teen campers. At this year's camps, we eliminated "COG" from our lexicon and replaced it with "HUMAN", so we now could call out a HUMAN alert on the radio if it became necessary. HUMAN=Help Us Manage A Nuisance. Anyway, thanks for the smile.

Walt Iliff

[usuallylurk]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by walter05:
The question is what is the correct thing to do. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

At a beach -- I would say that you wouldn't act any differently than you would at a textile beach. If you're walking along and someone is walking toward you, you might exchange a verbal greeting as you would if you were walking on a textile beach.

Going over, planting yourself next to someone you don't know -- well, you might not do that on a textile beach, either.

If there's a large group -- say a volleyball game, etc. going on, that might be different and an opportunity to socialize.

In a nudist resort or park, the customs are somewhat different -- there, you are expected to be social and socialble. You can stick by yourself in a corner. But, nudist resorts are social places by nature, and many activities there are open to all, so the "protocol" there is different.

At a nudist non-landed gathering - where a group may gather at a rented facility or even someone's house -- those get-togethers are truly social. There, you would talk with just about anyone and people will definitely approach you for conversation.

[EricNY]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by nudeM:
I said, "Nice day today, isn't it"? I just got a glare as though to say, "Don't bother me". </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I do not understand why a person like this would even be out in public...If you can't be social or even just civil, stay home or at least don't go where there are other people.

Well my 2 cents to Walter is this.... When you are at a nude beach, just act like you would anywhere else. If you are a social person and would normally say hi then say hi. If you get a good response from people than great....If someone is rude because you said hi, well in my opinion that is the other person's problem. When it all comes down to it *there is no protocol* Just be YOU and let them be them. That is what being social is all about.

[NudistGuy47]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by ercNY:
Well my 2 cents to Walter is this.... When you are at a nude beach, just act like you would anywhere else. If you are a social person and would normally say hi then say hi. If you get a good response from people than great....If someone is rude because you said hi, well in my opinion that is the other person's problem. When it all comes down to it *there is no protocol* Just be YOU and let them be them. That is what being social is all about. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well said, erc! I heartily second the words above!

[Nudony]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">quote:
Originally posted by nudeM:
I said, "Nice day today, isn't it"? I just got a glare as though to say, "Don't bother me".


I do not understand why a person like this would even be out in public...If you can't be social or even just civil, stay home or at least don't go where there are other people. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

That is, certainly unfortunately, a fairly common response at the nude beach, at least in my experience. There is a certain level of "weirdo apprehension", particularily on the part of newbies or occasional nudists who are not quite accustomed to being addressed while nude, and feel somewhat "vulnerable." I have gotten the "don't bother me" glare a few times myself. On the other hand, I've been able to strike up conversations with people who were obviously nude beach veterans. So before addressing someone, I tend to try to assess whether they seem comfortable enough with their own nudity to be approached. And then I assess from the turn of the conversation whether to pursue socializing with them, or keep it "short and simple." I'll have to add that I've never made any friends at the nude beach; but plenty at the resort.

[Fuzzy Nuts]

I act as I do at home - I say good morning or good afternoon to anyone I meet. If they answer maybe a conversation will develop and if they dont what is lost?

[NorthVanNudist]

When at our nude beach, I have always made a point of saying "Good Morning" or simply "Hello" to persons, both clothed and nude, who were passing by me or who I was passing by. It just seems to be more friendly than ignoring each other. I can't think of a time when I didn't get at least a "Hi" back, and have met other persons and families this way. I suppose there may be some voyeurs who come down to the beach to look at the nudists, but I tend to treat everyone there as if they are either a nudist or are at least curious about the lifestyle. It doesn't cost anything to be friendly and who knows, you may make someone else's first time easier.

[Jason Lee]

Originally posted by usuallylurk:
In a nudist resort or park, the customs are somewhat different -- there, you are expected to be social and socialble.


are nudist camp visitors expected/required to be social with other nudists ?

[emsdude]

I don't think should be any real protocol on how to talk to someone on nude beach. I think the same way you would be on clothes beach,hi hello how's going all the same. Nude beach most everyone's dress the same nothing to hide any way.You get checked the same no matter what your doing clothes or nude. All the same very funny the way we look at each orther.So enjoy going to nude beach.

[nakedjohn]

I do not think there should be a protocol. Dressed or undressed, people should behave and have manners. Always being polite is my motto.

[walter05]

First, I want to several of you for thoughtful responses. I have learned from y'all.

I want to repeat that all of us were nude. I joked about clothes from the same designer meaning that we all had naked bodies. However, my attempt at humor appears to have confused.

It seems to me that the general approach is as follows:

1)If the person is closer to the water, walking, playing, etc. it is considered friendly to say "Hi". It is also polite to respond. If more does not develop, then the person attempting to be friendly, should move on.

2) If people are lying out on towels, sitting on chairs, etc. it is better to leave them alone. However, if you see the person(s) looking your way a friendly wave is okay. If the person signals to come over, then it is okay. Otherwise, move on.

3) Under no circumstances should one hang around or lurk nearby to strangers without being invited. This behavior makes others nervous.

My instincts tell me this person was alone and new to nude beaches also. I think he was as inexperienced as I was. Again, he was also nude so he was not just looking. However, in his clumsiness, his behavior was unsettling.

Since I am also new to nude beaches. I have learned how to behave under similar circumstances.

[EricNY]

Walter, no offense, as I meen this in a good natured way....

You are reading too much into this. When you are out in public the key is to act the way you would always act, and be you.

It is no different if you are at the mall or a nude beach. Be you! If you normally walk past a person in the grocery store nod and say hello, then do that at the beach. If you are normally a social being then be so all the time. What fun would social naturism be if it weren't fo the social part.

Naturists are normal, everyday people that happen to like being nude. There is not a list of rules that we need to learn on how to interact with other naturists, and we do not need to tip toe on eggshells around anyone.

As long as your normal social mode is respecting and "good natured, then you are all set.

[luvnaturism]

Walter, I think you've got the hang of it pretty well. If someone is engrossed in a book or in conversation with someone else, usually you just pass on by. If they make eye contact with you, then smile and say "Hi."

An exception might be if you need information, i.e., "Where's the toilet?" Then I usually stop and wait to be noticed, ask my question, thank the person for helping, and move on—-unless the other person makes it clear that he/she is open to conversation. It's not hard to tell.

[walter05]

ercNY;

Whenever one finds oneself in a new social setting, one always wants to make the proper impression. One does not want to be pushy, appear threatening, or rude.

For me being nude at a beach is a new setting. You are probably right about my making too much of this. But I think that is normal for someone new.

luvnaturism;

Thanks for the reinforcement.

For both of you;

I will try to be more relaxed about it but follow those guidelines to avoid trouble as a personal reinforcement and confidence builder.

[EricNY]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by walter05:
ercNY;

Whenever one finds oneself in a new social setting, one always wants to make the proper impression. One does not want to be pushy, appear threatening, or rude.

For me being nude at a beach is a new setting. You are probably right about my making too much of this. But I think that is normal for someone new. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


Well I am replying assuming you are not pushy and rude. If people normally react to you in a positive way, than why act any different at a nude venue?

And as far as this is normal for someone new....well you are right it is normal to have questions on how you should act, but it need not be. I do not understand why we need to act any differently than we would in any other public setting.

It is my belief and experience that one should act "normal" and be yourself. It is when you act different than you normally would that people get turned off, because you are "forcing" yourself to be someone you are not. In doing this people sense your fraud and become suspicous of you and your intentions/behaviour.

[DenitaLC]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by ercNY:
It is when you act different than you normally would that people get turned off, because you are "forcing" yourself to be someone you are not. In doing this people sense your fraud and become suspicous of you and your intentions/behaviour. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Very well put ERC! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/happy.gif

[walter05]

ercNY and DenitalC;

I guess then, my original thoughts are still valid.

I normally say hello to people in public settings. i.e meeting in the street, a store, etc. If there is a response, I let if flow on its own.

If I see people doing something separate such as reading a book, typing on a keyboard, lying on a beach away, etc. I leave them alone and don't intrude. I would also not lurk nearby so as to perhaps make that person uncomfortable.

I would also expect others to do the same. I would do that when wearing clothes. I will do the same when nude.

[tinner666]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by usuallylurk:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by walter05:
The question is what is the correct thing to do. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

At a beach -- I would say that you wouldn't act any differently than you would at a textile beach. If you're walking along and someone is walking toward you, you might exchange a verbal greeting as you would if you were walking on a textile beach.

Going over, planting yourself next to someone you don't know -- well, you might not do that on a textile beach, either.

If there's a large group -- say a volleyball game, etc. going on, that might be different and an opportunity to socialize.

In a nudist resort or park, the customs are somewhat different -- there, you are expected to be social and socialble. You can stick by yourself in a corner. But, nudist resorts are social places by nature, and many activities there are open to all, so the "protocol" there is different.

At a nudist non-landed gathering - where a group may gather at a rented facility or even someone's house -- those get-togethers are truly social. There, you would talk with just about anyone and people will definitely approach you for conversation. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's about right. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/beam.gif

Originally posted by ercNY:
It is when you act different than you normally would that people get turned off, because you are "forcing" yourself to be someone you are not. In doing this people sense your fraud and become suspicous of you and your intentions/behaviour. Very true! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/happy.gif

I only have experience at home and WTR. I'm sociable and say hello to everybody. It's an ice breaker for nervous newbies trying to fit in. The reaction of the person I say hello to will dictate the rest of the conversation.

WHICH BRINGS UP ANOTHER POINT!
Younger nudists showing up at a resort or beach want company and the cold shoulder will turn them away from naturism. Naturists do WANT to feel accepted. But, you cant be pushy.
Somebody like Walt could expound on this thought more articulatly than I can. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/happy.gif

[foux003]

I will say hi or nice day and if they don't respond that's their problem and not mine. It don't bother me at all.

[barebum]

Sounds like a very sensible policy foux, may try it out this summer!

[Zerokini]

That is an interesting question. I really liked how one young couple answered it on a beautiful day near the Verde Hot Springs in Arizona. I and a couple of others were relaxing naked on towels on the grassy area north of the hot springs, and we saw a clothed couple approaching from the far side of the river. They were striding purposefully toward us, but that wasn't too strange because passing through our area was one of only two ways to get to the hot springs and tubs. After wading the river, as soon as they hit our shore they both paused just long enough to strip off their sweat pants, and then they were naked from the waist down. I gave them a thumbs up and we all smiled, and they smiled back, and they proceeded on to the hot springs and tubs. Had they felt like conversation, they had set the stage perfectly for it and no one would have felt uncomfortable. I thought that theirs was an excellent protocol that should be recommended to everyone. Comments?

[clebare]

Last August, I went to a nude beach for the first time. When I walked to the latrine by myself, I was surprised at the glares I received from passers-by. It was like I was some kind of pervert there alone.

I have been going to nudist camps and resorts, etc. for years, frequently alone, and have never experienced anything like that. It was very unnerving!

Folks at nudist facilities are usually very friendly. I travel a lot on business and sometimes stay at a nudist camp if the facilities are acceptable and close to my work. When possible, I schedule my trips so I can spend an extra Friday or Saturday at a local nudist camp, etc. I am always alone on these trips but I have never been treated any way but with respect and friendliness. As a group, nudists are the friendliest people I have ever met. As they say, nudity is the great leveler.

People that go to nude beaches generally must not be associated with organized nudism. At least, they certainly seem to have an unpleasant attitude toward strangers.

[lk2bnud]

evolving

Hear, hear. I totally agree with your statement!

lk2bnud

[Drrummer]

I generally chat to just about anyone, so i would talk to people in nude situations just as much as i would in a clothed situation. Plus, if i saw a girl i thought was cute in a nude situtaion, i would probably be more likely to approach her than anyone else, just the same as i would in a clothed situation. The main thing is, i know how to read a cue, if there is a negative or declined response to any aproaches or advances of mine, i will soon retreat.

[BinCo]

I usually wait to make eye contact. If someone is not interested in speaking they will usually go out of their way to not look me in the eyes. Otherwise if I'm relaxing in my chair and you walk by a look me in the eyes you will get a friendly "hello" or "hi". If you speak back I will ask some nonchalant question like "great day for some sun, huh?". This is a clear indication that I would like to speak to you. If you keep walking while replying with a "yup", I'll go back to reading or whatever. This is a great way to meet new people. I find many are uncomfortable with this approach, with or without clothes. Others are curious or want to know what I'm reading or how often I am at the beach. They might stop and speak for a couple minutes before moving on, or sit a spell and chat.

I'm one of those people who open conversations, not just glare at you like a dog over my food bowl.

--Waiting for the warmth in Colorado--