The latest dear abby

[EricNY]

Dear Abby column here (http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/)

NEIGHBOR CAN'T CLOSE HIS EYES TO NUDE GARDENER NEXT DOOR


DEAR ABBY: I am 76, my wife is 65. Our neighbor "Roy" is retired, but probably less than 60 years old. The fence between Roy's property and ours is 6 feet tall, but the wood has shrunk and there are gaps of about half an inch or more between the boards.
Abby, Roy likes to work nude in his back yard and has told my wife he does this. Otherwise, he seems like a decent fellow. He has given my wife nectarines from over the fence, which is as close as I want his naked presence to my wife. Roy insists he has the "right" to go naked in his own back yard. Unfortunately, my wife agrees, and tells me she's not looking. I have asked her not to accept any more gifts over the fence from Roy and to keep her contact with him to a minimum. Am I being foolish? How would you recommend I handle this? -- TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT IN CALIF.

DEAR TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT: With a 6-foot fence around his property, Roy is probably within his rights to garden "au naturel." One way to handle the problem would be for you to develop an interest in horticulture. Perhaps the appearance of that fence could be improved by planting bougainvillea, or poison ivy on your side of it. Or a lovely cactus garden ... the possibilities are almost endless if you put your mind to it. P.S. Just be sure to wear gloves.

[EricNY]

Dear Abby column here (http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/)

NEIGHBOR CAN'T CLOSE HIS EYES TO NUDE GARDENER NEXT DOOR


DEAR ABBY: I am 76, my wife is 65. Our neighbor "Roy" is retired, but probably less than 60 years old. The fence between Roy's property and ours is 6 feet tall, but the wood has shrunk and there are gaps of about half an inch or more between the boards.
Abby, Roy likes to work nude in his back yard and has told my wife he does this. Otherwise, he seems like a decent fellow. He has given my wife nectarines from over the fence, which is as close as I want his naked presence to my wife. Roy insists he has the "right" to go naked in his own back yard. Unfortunately, my wife agrees, and tells me she's not looking. I have asked her not to accept any more gifts over the fence from Roy and to keep her contact with him to a minimum. Am I being foolish? How would you recommend I handle this? -- TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT IN CALIF.

DEAR TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT: With a 6-foot fence around his property, Roy is probably within his rights to garden "au naturel." One way to handle the problem would be for you to develop an interest in horticulture. Perhaps the appearance of that fence could be improved by planting bougainvillea, or poison ivy on your side of it. Or a lovely cactus garden ... the possibilities are almost endless if you put your mind to it. P.S. Just be sure to wear gloves.

[Nu]

If I were Dear Abby (or at least the nudist version), I would have responded "that maybe the husband is jealous of the freedom that the neighbour has achieved.
The husband seems to have gone too far in suggesting his wife not accept any more fruit (just a goodwill gesture on the part of the nieghbour).
The husband should try the nude thing, too."


P.S. to ercNY-
Your signature line shows great appreciation for your wife. Well done.
Based on the posts you have both done, you seem like great people. The forum is lucky to have you both.

[krcNY]

Thanks NU

I think Abby should have addressed the fact the the fence did not space overnight. This seems to have been a problem for some time. Why did the husband never say anything to the gardner about being able to see him. If it was addressed I am sure the gardner would have fixed the fence, immediatly.

I know I would have...just to save the peace.

[EricNY]

Thanks to you too Nu.....

I agree. I am sure if the neighbor gave him a chance he would find that he is just a good 'ol nude dude and means no harm.

[PascoDoug]

Go to Home Depot, buy some narrow fence pickets and cover up the gaps.. plain and simple. It's what I did in my backyard. Looks nicer too.

[EricNY]

Good idea...but the nice nude gentleman does not know it is a problem for the nice prude neighbor.

So first step would be to tell the neighbor that it bothers him.

Of course in telling him he may find that it isn't so bad after all.

It's amazing what you will find out and learn if you just talk to your neighbors (or anyone for that matter)

[Nude in the North]

"my wife agrees, and tells me she's not looking."

I think this sentence says it all.
His wife is the more mature person despite her youth.

I just don't understand why it's such a big deal for someone to see someone elses penis or butt.
I'd like to have a talk with the guy that put so many taboos on body parts.

Steve

[Boreas]

What a neat response from Abby. It sounds like she is basically saying "get over it".

I wonder how he responded to the advice?

[Raized_By_She-Wolf]

He wants his wife to accept no more tangerines? Is he afraid that she'll be "tempted by the fruit of a-NUDE-er?" http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Sorry, couldn't resist.

[David77]

Abby's response suggests that the husband wear gloves - but nothing else - in other words (not spoken but implied) "Garden nude too, dude"!

[Zorro]

This is an interesting line:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Abby, Roy likes to work nude in his back yard and has told my wife he does this. Otherwise, he seems like a decent fellow. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
It's obvious that TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT IN CALIF thinks there is something indecent about nudity, since his neighbor is otherwise a decent guy. I notice Abby didn't call him on that...

[Bob S.]

Abby is trying to tell the man to plant these variety of flora to keep his wife away from the fence. This is about him wanting to control his wife. He seems very jealous about her friendship with him. And it may have to do with the fact that the neighbor is so much younger than him and closer to his wife's age. Abby is just playing into his jealousy.

This man just has to get over the idea that his wife can befriend anyone she wants. Maybe the husband should try harder to get to know his neighbor.

Bob S.

[naturalmanwa]

I think the husband is more concerned over his age and physical abilities and keeping his wife under his thumb than anything else.

Abby is not always right and by suggesting poison ivy to plant--what kind of nut would want that in their yard?

[krcNY]

I was mad at the poison ivy thing.

It will keep the wife away from the fence but it will spread to the gardeners yard too.

[nakednudists]

Sounds to me like a tad bit of jealousy. If the wife has no problem with the man's nudity, he should let it go. Possibly, him and the Mrs. should discuss the situation and perhaps trying being nude in their own backyard. If it all works out, they can then invite the neighbor over for a nude BBQ! Like I always said, If you can't beat em, join em!!!

[BackpackerBrian]

Obviously some puritianical values are in play here, with some jealousy. So this guy gardens naked . . . what does that have to do with the nectarines?

Would the writer have also not wanted his wife to accept the fruit if the neighbor had been clothed??? Or if the neighbor had never told them about his nude gardening habits.

Some insecurity is certainly showing here. WHY he has this insecurity is something we cannot answer here.

[Boreas]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by krcNY:
I was mad at the poison ivy thing.

It will keep the wife away from the fence but it will spread to the gardeners yard too. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I hadn't even noticed the poison ivy comment. That certainly puts a different spin on the response!

[Fresh Air]

Nudist or not, I don't know that a male talking with a husbands wife alone about nudism is the most polite thing to do. Especially if she didn't bring it up.

Dan

[Buzzer]

http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gifBarberry bushes are a lot more versatile and easier to control than poison ivy.

[WacoTX]

I think Abby was telling the guy to "get a life" by suggesting those plants. I don't think she really expected him to use plants that were harmful. The guy can always cover the gaps in the fence if he is really bothered by his neighbor.

[RunningNude57]

right on Brian - after all, they aren't "nekked-rines"

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> So this guy gardens naked . . . what does that have to do with the nectarines?

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Bob S.]

"I don't know that a male talking with a husbands wife alone about nudism is the most polite thing to do."

It is if she doesn't mind, Dan. What is the reason that the husband doesn't go and talk with the man? He could either go over to his residence or he could go outside when the gardener is tending to his fruits.

There is no reason to demand that his wife stop being friendly to him from across the fence. He would probably feel the same if the gardener was clothed.

Bob S.

[Vin]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by krcNY:
...Why did the husband never say anything to the gardner about being able to see him.... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

To be sophomoric about it, maybe he liked the view? He just doesn't want to share with the wife. };>

Control and insecurity issues seem rampant in the guy's letter. I hope he gets over them. Unless he's lying about his age, he's on borrowed time anyway according to life expectancy estimates. His wife could always just wait him out, then go back to exchanging nectarines after his funeral.

(Apologies. I appear to be in a mood this morning.)
Vin

[shãybare]

http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
I don't see where Roy did anything wrong. It doesn't say he went into a discussion about nudism, it just says he let her know that he did his gardening in the nude. I think it quite proper for him to give her a "heads up". The letter doesn't say Roy did anything else to cause alarm, other than being a good neighbor and sharing some fruit with them. It just shows Roy in nothing but a good light. Roy seems to be a friendly outgoing neighbor.

The man should talk with his wife about what bothers him, which I am pretty sure he has. He should also talk with Roy. Apparently, the wife has no problems with the situation. She is old enough to know her own mind, make her own decisions and share her thoughts with her husband.

The problem seems to be the lack of communication between the man and his wife, for, as I said, Roy did nothing wrong.

[Fresh Air]

Bob S.

True statements indeed. I was sort of thinking of the opposite though. Meaning, why would the neighboor just approach the wife nude and not the husband.

Dan

[krcNY]

Maybe she just happened by the fence and mentioned to him his state of dress. Maybe he told her he does this regularly and she replied OK. If she did not say she had a problem with it, or tell her husband about it...Maybe it still is not about Roy, but jealousy.

[WacoTX]

Has anyone written to Dear Abby? I think it would be interesting if someone would forward all of these comments to her column.

[Bob S.]

"why would the neighboor just approach the wife nude and not the husband."

Dan, I was thinking along the same thoughts as krc. Maybe she is the only one who goes over to the fence to be friendly to the neighbor. Perhaps wife and Roy have other things in common and husband just doesn't like him.

As I pointed out, this may have as much to do with his attire as with their ages. Roy is "probably less than 60", wife is 65, husband is 76. The husband may also see Roy as a threat to his marraige. Roy is younger and closer to wife's age than his own. He may feel his age and wonders if his wife will start to look before his days of daisy pushing start.

Bob S.

[S.M.A.]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Nu:
If I were Dear Abby (or at least the nudist version), I would have responded "that maybe the husband is jealous of the freedom that the neighbour has achieved.
The husband seems to have gone too far in suggesting his wife not accept any more fruit (just a goodwill gesture on the part of the nieghbour).
The husband should try the nude thing, too." </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Either that, or maybe there's a history of personal confusion. This poor old man has probably been sheltered from nudity practically his whole life.

Stuart http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

[cigarhog]

I wonder If "Dear Abby" ever got a letter from a nudist complaining about their textile neighbor who is constantly in the yard or worse yet going out in front of the house with clothes on.

Bruce

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by cigarhog:
I wonder If "Dear Abby" ever got a letter from a nudist complaining about their textile neighbor who is constantly in the yard or worse yet going out in front of the house with clothes on.

Bruce </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Good point. When I lived in a textile neighborhood, I was upset that I couldn't leave my windows uncovered so I could see out without having to be dressed. I also didn't like having to put clothes just to check my mail, put the trash out, or paint the outside of my house. Painting nude is much more practical.

[EricNY]

Guess what Dear Abbey strikes again!

Artilcle here (http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/)

DEAR ABBY: My son-in-law insists on walking around naked after his shower. He claims that he's hot and must let his hemorrhoids air-dry. Abby, this man has four children, three of whom are girls ages 9, 7 and 4. My daughter has done everything from plead to scream to get him to stop this habit, yet he still emerges from the bathroom with the announcement, "Turn your heads, girls, I'm naked!"
What more can my daughter do to get him to understand how potentially dangerous this is? -- DISGUSTED IN JAMESON, MO.

DEAR DISGUSTED: I discussed your letter with Dr. Stephen Kuchenbecker, a respected colorectal surgeon in Los Angeles. He informs me that while hemorrhoid sufferers are advised not to rub that tender area of the body, they are encouraged to gently "pat" dry or even use a hand-held hair dryer to be sure the hemorrhoids are free of moisture.

It is not appropriate for your son-in-law to parade around in front of the girls. My suggested aversion therapy: The next time he makes his grand entrance, your daughter and the girls should point at his lower midsection and start laughing. If that proves ineffective, she should buy a long extension cord for her hair dryer, and warn her spouse that if he doesn't dry his hemorrhoids, then she will. I'm sure he'll get the message.


I can't beleive that she has instructed her to get her girls to point and laugh. Can she possibly give worse advice?

[PascoDoug]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">What more can my daughter do to get him to understand how potentially dangerous this is? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Err potentially dangerous for whom?


<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">It is not appropriate for your son-in-law to parade around in front of the girls. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ugh. Here we go with the old "parading" bit again. I think the last thing this guy wants to do after taking a shower is go on a parade. Especially with hemorrhoids.

IMHO, I would advise the girls to get naked with dad and laugh at their mother and grandma. http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[EricNY]

My problem with the so called advice she gave, is the fact that she is telling them to point and laugh. What does this teach these two youths?

Unbelievable! I think we should flood her mailbox with our disaproval of her advice and ask her to retract her advice, and consider the impact this could have on children if in fact it is followed by anyone

http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif

[stcloud50]

I have already sent dear Abby a letter. Her mother as I remember was not against being clothed free. She was off the wall on this one.

[Nudeinbama]

Anyone turning to Dear Abb(Ms.Jr.) for advise on their personel life is getting what they pay for-Nothing.
Nudeinbama

[Tyco]

Oh yea, she's gonna be flamed BIG time for this rotten egg.

[krcNY]

You should never point at anyone and laugh. Especially the gentalia, they will grow up with a complex. I would not want anyone telling my child to do that. http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_mad.gif

[puffledud]

Very insensitive advice from our "Dear Abby".

Dave

[NudeAl]

I was floored by this how in the world could this be considered advice? This is like go make fun of someone. I can't ever see myself giving this sort of advice to anyone in any situation what kind of a crack pot response was that?

[grl66]

Why is the mother in law getting involved?

As for the advise, oh dear! Abbey!

[tomkojohn]

I looked at the Dear Abbey site for the indicated article (the last one about the son-in-law) and was unable to find it. I did find several articles on nudity, and they appeared to be more positive than this one.

Is Dear Abbey a bit uncertain to her view on nudity?

One interesting article asked whether it was ok for married parents to shower together as they just had a child and were worried what the child might think if they continued this practise. Abbey basically said don't be too concerned, but to cover up if the child accidentally walked in on them. Although not the answer I'd give, she at least didn't tell them to stop.

In another case, a daughter started sleeping in the nude at college, and upon returning home, she continued the practise. Her mother freaked out after finding her nude one day, accusing her of being a lesbian, etc.! Abbey told the daughter she probably couldn't convince her mom that there was nothing wrong with sleeping nude, but that the daughter would have to trust her own judgement about what was right or wrong.

Your mileage will vary. As someone else already mentioned, the advise is worth what you pay for it.

[EricNY]

tomkojohn, I posted it on this thread just a few posts back

[NakedGary]

The dear Abby link that "ercNY" posted initially and a few posts back is the URL for the daily "Dear Abby" column which changes daily.

I researched the archive and come up with these two nudist or nudity links she has posted recently where you can go directly to the articles.

Link to referenced "Dear Abby articles" (http://www.google.com/custom?domains=uExpress.com&q=NEIGHBOR+CAN%27T+CLOSE+HIS+EYES+TO+NUDE+GARDENER +NEXT+DOOR&sa=Search&sitesearch=uExpress.com%2Fdearabby&client=pub-7612837788893803&forid=1&ie=ISO-8859-1&oe=ISO-8859-1&safe=active&cof=GALT%3A%23008000%3BGL%3A1%3BDIV%3A%23336699%3B VLC%3A663399%3BAH%3Acenter%3BBGC%3AFFFFFF%3BLBGC%3 ABB0202%3BALC%3A0000FF%3BLC%3A0000FF%3BT%3A000000% 3BGFNT%3A0000FF%3BGIMP%3A0000FF%3BLH%3A59%3BLW%3A1 59%3BL%3Ahttp%3A%2F%2Fimages.ucomics.com%2Fimages% 2Fuexpress2%2Fui%2Fuexpress_logo.png%3BS%3Ahttp%3A %2F%2Fwww.uexpress.com%3BFORID%3A1%3B&hl=en)

[xgsft]

Interesting links Gary. The peeping tom one was interesting as we had a problem with one here. One night he decided he would look into my downstairs window while I was there. I don't think he liked what he saw... http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif No problems sence then.

[NakedGary]

xgsft

I rechecked both links and they both work here as to the respective articles. Retry, I don't know why one works and the other doesn't.

Try to hold down the control key, while you mouse click on the link.

The one that didn't work for you should be:

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20050923

.

[xgsft]

Got it, thanks!

[tomkojohn]

Thanks to those who added the more direct links. As I mentioned, I tried searching the Dear Abbey site for the indicated article, but a search on disgusting, nude, son-in-law didn't turn up the article. I eventually found it by paging backwards a couple of days as this was a recent article.

I still say Abbey seems incredibly inconsistent on this issue. Sometimes I wonder if she is really just an artificially intelligent program responding somewhat at random, instead of a real person. http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif


Stay nude free and happy!

[KetchumMaine]

I replied to Abby as well. I told her that she should not be advocating ridicule and assault. I also told her that following her advice would probably be more detrimental to the children than the children seeing the man naked. I told her to research the evidence out there, none of which indicates any harm to children from seeing nudity. I referred her to this article for a summary of the rersearch: http://www.fcn.ca/children_2.htm.

[EricNY]

Fantastic Kevin....I think we all need to take a firm stance on this one.

Her advice was over the edge, and she needs to hear about it.

Thanks Kevin, for speaking out!

[Sammyboy]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Fresh Air:
Bob S.

True statements indeed. I was sort of thinking of the opposite though. Meaning, why would the neighboor just approach the wife nude and not the husband.

Dan </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Perhaps he thought that he needed to give her "fair warning", as it were, because she's a woman, and he assumed as a man, the husband wouldn't be too bothered if he saw him naked.

[Naturist Mark]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I was sort of thinking of the opposite though. Meaning, why would the neighboor just approach the wife nude and not the husband.

Dan </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

As far as we know, the wife approached the neighbor, not vice versa.

-Mark

[nudeonLI]

If the father didn't think there was anything wrong with being nude after coming out of the shower why did he tell the girls to turn their heads? I think the guy was doing this to shock his wife and kids. Obvioulsy he knew it upset his wife yet continued to do it.

[Naturist Mark]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by nudeonLI:
If the father didn't think there was anything wrong with being nude after coming out of the shower why did he tell the girls to turn their heads? I think the guy was doing this to shock his wife and kids. Obvioulsy he knew it upset his wife yet continued to do it. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Telling them to not look if it bothered them makes sense to me - more sense than having to alter his own appearance to please them.

-Mark

[luvnaturism]

There are two Dear Abby letters referenced in this thread, so the comments posted here get a bit confusing.

I wouldn't give Abby an "A" for her response to the first letter, but a "B" would probably be appropriate. She has clearly understood that the nude neighbor is within his rights, and the person with the problem is the complaining letter writer. She points out a fix to cover the fence with spaces that allow visibility; since he has the concern, he can fix the problem to ease his own anxiety without interfering with the rights of the guy who likes to be nude in his own yard.

The second letter? I might give it a "C-." Telling children to make fun of someone's body is awful advice, but at least she has accurately identified that the husband (given what sounds like a pretty extreme reaction from the wife) is engaging in a form of abuse. The advice might well stop that particular abuse, but it substitutes one problem behavior for another. It will probably also lead to the abuser merely finding another way to torment his wife.

I think Abby should have recommended that the entire family seek counseling from a family therapist. Among other things that would allow exploration of what the mother-in-law's role is in relation to her daughter's extreme reaction. It wouldn't be surprising if mother-in-law's needs to control were the emotional mainspring behind the daughter's screaming.

[Bob S.]

The second letter where the husband walks around the house naked I would rate as an F. I have a couple of problems with that. First, the mother-in-law is getting involved with her daughter's marriage. That is always a bad idea.

Second, suggesting that the mother tell her girls to try and humiliate their father is abusive and is getting the children involved in a marital fight between husband and wife. Also a very bad thing to do.

nudeon:"If the father didn't think there was anything wrong with being nude after coming out of the shower why did he tell the girls to turn their heads?"

I think he is doing that as a joke. He knows that his wife does not like it so he gives tham a fun warning when he comes out. It sounds to me like it is a combination of a joke, a warning, and a way to get at his wife.

Both parents need to grow up and learn how to compromise. The fighting over his nudity is what is harming the children. The girls are learning that there is something wrong with his nudity when there is not. And the fighting is having a major effect on them.

Bob S.

[KetchumMaine]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by luvnaturism:


The second letter? I might give it a "C-." Telling children to make fun of someone's body is awful advice, but at least she has accurately identified that the husband (given what sounds like a pretty extreme reaction from the wife) is engaging in a form of abuse. The advice might well stop that particular abuse, but it substitutes one problem behavior for another. It will probably also lead to the abuser merely finding another way to torment his wife.

I think Abby should have recommended that the entire family seek counseling from a family therapist. Among other things that would allow exploration of what the mother-in-law's role is in relation to her daughter's extreme reaction. It wouldn't be surprising if mother-in-law's needs to control were the emotional mainspring behind the daughter's screaming. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

What is abusive about being human? Abby is advocating abuse by hair dryer!

[EricNY]

Well she finally had a follow up about the man that was "parading naked" in front of her kids.

There were a couple of good responses and a bunch of bad ones. It still bothers me that she did not adress the issue where she told her to tell the kids to point and laugh.....

Article:

DAD GETS A DRESSING-DOWN FOR PARADING AROUND NUDE

DEAR ABBY: The letter about the man who parades around naked in front of his daughters after his shower prompts my letter. His stated reason is he claims he's hot and needs to air-dry his hemorrhoids. Well, my advice for him is to wrap a towel around his waist, go straight to his bedroom, shut the door and do his "airing" there. Then if he wants, he can stand on his head and air-dry them as long as he darn well pleases. When he's done, he can get dressed and join the family. And if this doesn't please him, send him to a shrink. -- SIMPLE SOLUTION, TWIN FALLS, IDAHO


DEAR SIMPLE: The mail that poured in regarding that letter -- and scolding me for my lighthearted answer -- was all over the map on this subject. Your solution is a good one, but read on:

DEAR ABBY: My father also did that, and I turned out just fine. I'm female, 37, happily married with no emotional scars. Unless the wife has reason to think he's a predator, she should relax. Americans -- and I am one -- are far too hung up on nudity. -- BETTINA IN CROSSVILLE, TENN.

DEAR ABBY: Only people with dirty minds equate nudity (especially that of a family member) with sex. Those girls are probably so used to it by now they think nothing of it. I suspect this is a power struggle between the husband and wife, and it's none of the mother-in-law's business. -- DISGUSTED IN CANADA

DEAR ABBY: The father's actions are criminal. He's sexually abusing the eyes and emotions of those unwilling witnesses. The wife and mother-in-law should document the times and dates of these assaults. With that documentation they can force Dad into therapy long enough to root out the evil beginnings of this perverse behavior. -- PSYCHOTHERAPIST FROM NEW JERSEY

DEAR ABBY: I am European. For us, it is completely normal to see our parents naked. There is nothing abnormal or wrong about it. -- YASMINE (U.S. AIR FORCE)

DEAR ABBY: I almost spewed my coffee when I saw the letter about the guy letting his hemorrhoids air-dry in front of his daughters. Can I say one word here? Bathrobe! -- PAUL IN FAIRBORN, OHIO

DEAR ABBY: You should have advised "Disgusted" to tell her daughter to try once more to calmly and intelligently reason with her husband. And if that doesn't do the trick, the daughter should inform her mother-in-law about his behavior. One call from his mother, and I'll bet the practice would stop! -- VIVIAN IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR ABBY: I'd get a video camera and film him without his knowledge. Then, when his family comes to visit over the holidays, I'd announce that I have a "special home video" to show. Maybe when everyone has seen him like that, her husband will make an appointment with a surgeon to have those hemorrhoids removed. -- BERNIE IN AYLETT, VA.

DEAR ABBY: I had a similar problem with my husband and son. Every night they'd come to the dinner table and eat their meal shirtless. Finally, I decided I'd had enough -- so I calmly took off my shirt and proceeded to eat my meal. (They got the message!) -- DAWNELLE IN ALTUS, OKLA.



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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

[nacktman]

Glad to see some of those responding have some sense as to the others, well ignorance is not criminal.
Though in the Psycho-therapist from New Jersey's case it is and it is with those supposed "authorities" like the Claimant to be that confuse and pervert the law(s).
Judging from the phrasing of the response the "therapist" used it was a female (yes it is a 50/50 guess, but societal influences make it more likely a female), one that has their own mental and emotional problems with nudity and thusly projects them onto others.

When will people "grow" up?

[Bob S.]

The Psychotherapist needs to see a psychotherapist. He/she has some serious issues regarding nudity to figure out the beginnings of this perverted way of thinking.

I wrote but none of these are my responses.

Bob S.

[Naturist Zoar]

If you are an American before you go into the lavatory and are an American when you leave the lavatory, what are you while you are in the lavatory??
European.

Just a little humor , which was triggered by one of the comments to this topic.

[Bob S.]

If you're gonna tell that joke Zoar, you might as well take that joke all the way.

What are you before you use the lavatory?
Russian

What are you afterwards?
Finnish

http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Bob S.

[foux003]

It sounds like these pepole have a nudity hangup. My wife and I plus my late brother and his girl friend hung around naked in front of the kids when they were young. We went to a nude beach, the ledges and Dyer Woods together and nude. It never bothered the kids and they turned out prety much normal. Then but what is normal. Normal nudits kids that is.

[foux003]

I feel that Abby should get a life and visit a nude beach.