Sage wisdom and other nonsense.

[nacktman]

I have thought about all the heavy topics in these forums and when my wife's Jack Russell pulled his latest stunt "it dawned on me" --- an advise and otherwise life improving thread for as long as it lasts..... /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

Mac Duff's latest: He went down to the fence line and did what dogs are want to do. As he jumped back and yelped he turned to us and had the look of I just learned the most vital lesson in life..."DON'T WHIZ ON THE ELECTRIC FENCE!" /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif We could learn a lot from a dog.... /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

If you have any amusing adages, proverbs, sayings, and tells to tell please do. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Thanks

Be Free Be Nude

[nacktman]

An oldie but a goodie!

Confused says: Man who sleep naked is in for a nude awakening.

[Rex]

Man who take woman on hill, not on level!

Confucious say..."Man with hand in pocket feel cocky" /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[Outlaw]

"Woman who fly upsidedown have crack-up."

[Rex]

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok

[Outlaw]

"Man who falls in strawberry patch have *** in jam."

[nacktman]

"One only sees full moon when falling head over heels."

[Nude in the North]

Practice safe eating,

Use Condiments.

[JRH]

If a man makes a statement out in the woods and no women are around to hear it, is he still wrong?

This might be off topic, but it is something to think about.

[nacktman]

"One's story who stand too close to fire has warm ending."

[Jochanaan]

You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.

[Naturist Mark]

You can tuna fish if you adjust its scales.

[Rex]

There was a young fellow named Fisher,
Who was fishing for fish in a fissure.
A fish with a grin,
Pulled the fisherman in,
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.

[fanrlawyer]

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like an orange.

[nacktman]

"It is a wise man who drinks upstream."

I reckon as soon as my back is turned everybody is pointing the finger at me and saying that I'm paranoid.

Stu

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

Stu

[Jochanaan]

Is sage wisdom anything like Peyote wisdom?

[Jochanaan]

Hey, Stu! Good to see you over here.

Confucius say, Just because man paranoid doesn't mean they not out to get him. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[CalgaryMark]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nacktman:
I have thought about all the heavy topics in these forums and when my wife's Jack Russell pulled his latest stunt "it dawned on me" --- an advise and otherwise life improving thread for as long as it lasts..... /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

Mac Duff's latest: He went down to the fence line and did what dogs are want to do. As he jumped back and yelped he turned to us and had the look of I just learned the most vital lesson in life..."DON'T WHIZ ON THE ELECTRIC FENCE!" /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif We could learn a lot from a dog.... /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

If you have any amusing adages, proverbs, sayings, and tells to tell please do. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Thanks

Be Free Be Nude <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif Several years ago I lived in Whitehorse, Yukon - my neighbour was an electrical inspector. He told the tale of living in a house with a carport, one post supported the front corner of the 'port. The neighbour's very large dog had a regular patrol route which included the post, and towards the end of the winter (which is very long and very cold in the Yukon) there was quite a large yellow icicle - and when spring came, it became quite rank. So he (the neighbour, not the dog) rigged up a metal plate on the ground and a bare, live, 120v wire wound around the post. When the dog completed the circuit . . . /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif there was never a problem after that, the dog changed its patrol route. Imagine that story being told with a french-Canadian accent!

CMark...proves the old adage .."Necessity is the mother of invention" or "build a better electrical trap and keep the dog away from your post"....Confuscious say..."Man who keep tape measure in toolbox not measure up"... /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[shãybare]

Common sense is not so common.

[vrethos]

Smart man believes he knows everything

Wise man knows he dosen't knows everything and seeks ture enlightenment

Confucious say...Wise man know he not know everything..Only teenager know everything..

[nudistmatt]

hardy har har.

[nacktman]

"What you are speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

[OZJames]

Jochanaan - Isn't "Peyo'te Wisdom" the result of your mind going CACTUS !!!!

JAMES /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif


(sorry I came in on the wrong page )

[Rex]

From the Goon Show:

SEAGOON: I say... will all those prairie dogs never stop howling?

GRYTPYPE: They're always howling..... no trees on the prairie, only cactus.

[sawdust]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CalgaryMark:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nacktman:
I have thought about all the heavy topics in these forums and when my wife's Jack Russell pulled his latest stunt "it dawned on me" --- an advise and otherwise life improving thread for as long as it lasts..... /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

Mac Duff's latest: He went down to the fence line and did what dogs are want to do. As he jumped back and yelped he turned to us and had the look of I just learned the most vital lesson in life..."DON'T WHIZ ON THE ELECTRIC FENCE!" /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif We could learn a lot from a dog.... /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

If you have any amusing adages, proverbs, sayings, and tells to tell please do. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Thanks

Be Free Be Nude <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif Several years ago I lived in Whitehorse, Yukon - my neighbour was an electrical inspector. He told the tale of living in a house with a carport, one post supported the front corner of the 'port. The neighbour's very large dog had a regular patrol route which included the post, and towards the end of the winter (which is very long and very cold in the Yukon) there was quite a large yellow icicle - and when spring came, it became quite rank. So he (the neighbour, not the dog) rigged up a metal plate on the ground and a bare, live, 120v wire wound around the post. When the dog completed the circuit . . . /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif there was never a problem after that, the dog changed its patrol route. Imagine that story being told with a french-Canadian accent! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

My dad told me a story on the subject of dogs taking their unwanted leak. Back in the 20/30es, my dad worked for an auto detailing business. He cleaned the wire wheels on cars and parked them a nearby street. A local dog seem to have just enough bladder content to mark the wire wheels of the parked cars. Finally a hand cranked generater was attached to one of the wire wheels...the trap was set! The dog was coming down the street and doing its usual business. By the time it reached the car with the "hot" wire wheel, the generater was at full crank. It took only a second for that dog to become airborn and then draging its butt yepping down the street. On following days, the dog would pass by the cars, but only bark at them and be on its way. Sawdust

[Jochanaan]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OZJames:
Jochanaan - Isn't "Peyo'te Wisdom" the result of your mind going CACTUS !!!!

JAMES /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey, watch it with those "Barbie jokes"!

Q: What did the balloon say to the cactus?

A: "Hello, buster."

[nacktman]

Why is it that if it goes up it must come down. Who says?