Why is everyone telling me long distace romance will not last ?

[CT]

Why is everyone telling me that long distance romance won't work, my mother, my twin bro Rob, best friend Matt etc....

I met this awesome Irish girl on the way over to the UK on the plane and I spend 4 weeks with her at her parents in this little village in Ireland. I had the most sick time with her and her family. Her father realy liked me. I would be the first to admit that the distance between Austrtalia and Ireland is huge but these days with email and telephones it's not that far.

Am I really trying to convince myself that the romance will last or am I kidding myself ?

I can't type on this forum what Rob(RT) said with out it being either deleted by the administrator or edited, but basicly he said, I'm dreaming and I'm thinking with the wrong head.

Would appreciate some open thoughts from fellow INA forum members.

Casey T

[CT]

Why is everyone telling me that long distance romance won't work, my mother, my twin bro Rob, best friend Matt etc....

I met this awesome Irish girl on the way over to the UK on the plane and I spend 4 weeks with her at her parents in this little village in Ireland. I had the most sick time with her and her family. Her father realy liked me. I would be the first to admit that the distance between Austrtalia and Ireland is huge but these days with email and telephones it's not that far.

Am I really trying to convince myself that the romance will last or am I kidding myself ?

I can't type on this forum what Rob(RT) said with out it being either deleted by the administrator or edited, but basicly he said, I'm dreaming and I'm thinking with the wrong head.

Would appreciate some open thoughts from fellow INA forum members.

Casey T

[Ian ftlotlwc]

Well a realtionship is about beingable to do things together its a little difficult from a distance. If your going to go back to Irleand keep in touch if not its going to be hard to keep the relationship going dont you think

[RT]

Casey, Casey, Casey !

Sit down and think about it logically, grrrr !

If you stop thinking about it with the wrong head, I know you will realise the obvious if you just sit down and write out thr pros and the cons of this romance/relationship. I know love is blind but come on bro, trust your younger bro for once.

RT

[Stevedaoust]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CT:
Why is everyone telling me that long distance romance won't work, my mother, my twin bro Rob, best friend Matt etc....

I met this awesome Irish girl on the way over to the UK on the plane and I spend 4 weeks with her at her parents in this little village in Ireland. I had the most sick time with her and her family. Her father realy liked me. I would be the first to admit that the distance between Austrtalia and Ireland is huge but these days with email and telephones it's not that far.

Am I really trying to convince myself that the romance will last or am I kidding myself ?

I can't type on this forum what Rob(RT) said with out it being either deleted by the administrator or edited, but basicly he said, I'm dreaming and I'm thinking with the wrong head.

Would appreciate some open thoughts from fellow INA forum members.

Casey T <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Stevedaoust]

Casey,
Life is not what others think or say. Life is what YOU do with it. It is not the JONES' that decide that you will be getting up at 7am or sleeping in. It's YOU that makes it happen. Not for the fact that you need to get up at 7am but that it's the awaiting EXPERIENCE/the-life-lesson that makes you do this. So with this in mind...whether if you have a long distance relationship or not, if this EXPERIENCE is what life has in mind for you then see it thru, either way. If this experience or THE FATES that bring you two back together or send you on your way onto a whole new road, it is YOU that has grown from it. Whether it be what you "TRUELY" (key word here) wanted or not, you now can say I remember when.....As long as you can finish by saying, What "I" (key word here) got out of it was....
Do "I" think that you're thinking with the other head? NOPE. You have a life lesson here. It's what YOU get out of it that teaches YOU. Stop worrying about what others think or say. It's YOU that lives in this body my friend! Your life was already made up long before you were born. Kick back and enjoy the ride. You'll be in for heck of a suprise.

Steve

[Kristin]

I'm 14. Do any of the adults see the taboo in thinking with the wrong head? Or am I as bad as the teenage boys I try to avoid?

[Im Naked, are You]

CT,
My wife of 12 years moved four hours away when we were 9 or 10 and we kept contact via snailmail and the telephone. We kept this up all the way through school and we would make vacations just to see each other as often as we could. We have been married for 12 years, but been together for about 23 or 24 years, and now we have three wonderful kids. So how do I feel about long distant romances...if you and your lucky lady freind can deal with the distance issues then I say go for it. Good Luck to you both.
INAY /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[luvnaturism]

Since your brief relationship obviously became very intense very fast, I think distance is likely to be helpful for you (though you've sort of overdone the distance thing).

Romances are built on high voltage encounters. Satisfying marriages are built on mutual values, shared goals, and ability to tolerate each other's quirks?things that don't really come to the surface when you are in the midst of an intense romance. Distance provides space for you to find out what you really share in addition to hormones.

Can relationships survive separation? Absolutely. Mine did, and it helped us make sure that we had what it takes for marriage. But the truth is that many don't, and for good reasons.

So do the emails and whatever long distance phone calls you can afford, and see how it goes for both of you.

[luvnaturism]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kristin:
I'm 14. Do any of the adults see the taboo in thinking with the wrong head? Or am I as bad as the teenage boys I try to avoid? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Kristen, I'm not sure I understand your point, but I don't think that either you or the teenage boys are necessarily bad. I do think that teens in general struggle (or worse, fail to struggle) with how to keep sex in its proper place in relationships.

What I would hope you might see in this thread is that it's really a lifetime struggle. It's not something that you're going to grow out when you're a couple of years older, though it's true that perspectives change as you get more experience in life.

I've done counseling with a lot of couples, both before and after marriage. One of the things that's clear is that introducing sex too early in the relationship makes it hard for a couple to get to know each other in the ways that end up counting the most.

If some distance is kept early on, couples learn about each other's hope, dreams, goals, values, habits, etc. These are things that will tell you whether you really have a future with that other person. If the hormones take charge, so that other head takes control, good judgment is often a casualty.

Right now our family is working through the pain involved in a divorce between two people who are dear to us. They started a family before they got to know each other, and now they can't stand to be in the same house.

[Kristin]

You're right luvnaturism, you missed my point completely. Anyone not miss it?

[luvnaturism]

Kristin -

How about restating your point?

Thanks.

[Kristin]

It wasn't a point so much as recognizing a (perhaps intentional) Freudian slip. It's not really appropriate to explain here, so I won't, but the fact that it's inappropriate might give you a clue as to what I'm talking about.

[The Real Doodles]

Here is a short bedtime story that is all, in the end, about a girl.
I live in Egypt. I met this half Egyptian/ half English girl who lives in England. We became online friends, and the next summer she decides to come. We stay together for ike a month, the best month I ve ever lived in my life. We both knew that we fell for each other, and we decided to try our luck with Long distance relationships. Two years later, and I still love her more than ever. I see her in the summer, and in the winter she has to go back for university. We are plannin to marry the moment we finish our uni studies. CT- Believe in Long Distance Relationships, Believe in love at first sight. If you know u truly love her, keep clingin to that love /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[Bir\'d\'in]

I have to agree with Doodles, although my personal experience with the subject is less happy. If you think your relationship is going to work, then by all means go for it. On the other hand, what's really important is that you are happy. If you find yourself moping around all the time just bummed out because you can't be with your girlfriend, then maybe you should think about giving it up. After all, if your relationship isn't making you happy then what's the point?

Wishing you the best of luck,
David Smith a.k.a. Bir'd'in

[labtec11]

My wife and I made it through 3 years of being mostly apart while attending college. So we were able to do it. But we would see eachother one or two weekends a month and were within driving distance. So i guess its a little different that half way across the world. But my point is, a long distance relationship can work. It is just a matter of how much the two people want to put into it and how much they care for eachother. Some people are able to do it and others cant.

[sunshinesandandsurf]

Hey mate.
Go with what works for you. Love and relationships are built on time, trust, and mutual understanding, not necessarily in what happens in the heat of the moment. I think being able to phone, email, or write this girl is a good thing for you and will enable you to really get to know each other better. Just because you can't go out every weekend doesn't mean you have less of a relationship or that your relationship is doomed to fail. Just do your best and get to know her, and it can happen for you. If it doesn't, you'll still have learned a lot from it and had the blessing of sharing in someone's life for the time you got to.

Best,
Dan

[Happy Hidden Heathen]

Hey man, be strong. If it's really what you both want then it will work. I've been in a semi-long distance relationship for almost three years and going strong. It's not an impossible thing.

[EVAN .C]

all i can say is good luck with that

[Naturist Mark]

Y'all are responding to a post CT made nearly 4 years ago. I suspect he has his answer by now.

-Mark