Dog haiku

DOG HAIKU

I love my human;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long dead squirrel.
Today I sniffed
Many dog butts - I celebrate
By kissing your face

I lie belly up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend - come to kill us all!
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat - come to kill us all!
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot -
Sniff this and weep

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle

I hate my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack

Sleeping here, my chin -
On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
Maybe chasing cats

I sound the alarm!
Dinner guests - come to kill us all -
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

The cat is not all
Bad - she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls

Dig under the fence - why?
Because it's there. Because it's
there. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do.
author unknown

DOG HAIKU

I love my human;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long dead squirrel.
Today I sniffed
Many dog butts - I celebrate
By kissing your face

I lie belly up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend - come to kill us all!
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat - come to kill us all!
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot -
Sniff this and weep

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle

I hate my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack

Sleeping here, my chin -
On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
Maybe chasing cats

I sound the alarm!
Dinner guests - come to kill us all -
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

The cat is not all
Bad - she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls

Dig under the fence - why?
Because it's there. Because it's
there. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do.
author unknown

[barelybob]

So true, so true! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[Hooked]

awwww.....that's cute...I just got a puppy 2 months ago and he is the joy of my life. My other dog I had for 17 years before he passed on...dogs are one of my favorite things in the whole wide world. I just wish I could take mine to nude places with me... /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif (

[Prometheus]

I was just thinking of starting a pets thread because of MaxNik's signature and something Riverrat said on another thread.

This afternoon I took my cat outside and he started chasing the neighbor's two little tiny dogs. I tried to tell him he has it backwards but he didn't listen as usual.

When I was growing up in the country we always had dogs (everyone does). They were always the type that liked to run around in the yard and would go completely crazy if they were cooped up indoors. I don't think I will get another dog until I move to a house that can have a fenced in yard.

I've never been without a dog...matter of fact for most of the last ten years I've had three of them. Down to two now, Australian Shepherds.

Then add in the 6 birds, very old cat (16) with no teeth, the lop eared bunny, snapping turtle in the kitchen and fish out in a small pond made from a kiddie pool.

I do animal rescues and sometimes I end up adopting some that come through here.

Thank goodness I just rent! If I owned a home I'd have three times that many pets.

[florida-david]

2 inside kittnes, one 15 yr. old cat, one australian cattle dog (2ish).

love pets

[Snoboy]

My two Yorkshire Terriors, Kanga and Joey are my most devoted nudist companions. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[fred950]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Prometheus:


This afternoon I took my cat outside and he started chasing the neighbor's two little tiny dogs. I tried to tell him he has it backwards but he didn't listen as usual.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>When my oldest was only six months old, the landlord's full-grown German Shepard made the mistake of sniffing Amy in sight of my Siamese cat. Copa sank her claws into that poor dogs nose, refused to back down and then chased that dog around the yard. The landlord disn't know wether to laugh or cry... that shepard had been train to be the guard dog for his auto body shop.

[butnaked]

Hi, We lost our last (Black Lab) friend to cancer, two years ago and that hurt so much we have not found anyone to take her place. Our daughter and son-inlaw left thier cat several months ago, as they moved into an apartment that did not allow pets. My wife and I were never "cat people" but our buddy "Kissel" has made us his slaves, and that is the way It's sssupose ta-be. Happy Trails /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

[missouriboy]

Yeah. The dog considers you to be "family." But to the cat, you are just "staff." /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[greensunshine]

I too am the proud slave to 2 birds who heaven forbid discover I have decided to sleep in in the mornings...waking up to the sound of "A Wolf Whistle" isn't my idea of fun every morning but then again...the thoughts of coming home to an empty apartment is far worse...think I will except and enjoy the that the luxury of that means leaving the guys at home means getting to sleep in past 6:30am /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

These guys do have a way of making the world a much nicer place /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

They also have a way of turning a crummy date into something I want to chat about if he gets to booooring and I want to drop really good hints bout why he should leave /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Greensunshine in the Pacific NW /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[nakeddrvr]

Missouriboy, How true your statement is, I have 11 cats and three dogs. That is how I feel most of the time I am just the staff and care taker for the the cats and the dogs are my best freinds, we take care of each other. To Cyndiann I really liked your poem that you posted, how true it is also. Thank you for reminding me just how specail my little freinds are to me.

Eleven cats and three dogs? I can just barely manage and tolerate one cat. Of course, I'm not realy a cat person, but I'm allergic to dogs and not cats. Although my tiger cat (not a real tiger) is mostly quiet, which I like, she is very curious. Animals are a great comfort for those who have the time and patience for them. Being retired I now have the time; I'm not sure about the patience. Cats are the easiest to care for, because they're pretty much self-sufficient. All they require is that you feed and water them and pet them when they demand it. She lets me know when she wants a little attention.

She lies next to me when I watch TV and lays her head on my leg, and sometimes she licks my leg or my hand. No, she doesn't lick what you're probably thinking. I rather enjoy her sandpaper tongue on my skin.

I have a folding door on my bedroom, and I close it now that I have her because I've never liked animals in my bed since I'm a very light sleeper. Unfortunately, she has learned how to open it from the outside. I just recently took her in as a stray. She was scrawny and starved, and I couldn't leave her outside to starve to death. I love animals and don't like to see any suffer. I haven't named her; I just call her "animal". I've had only two cats that were smart enough to answer to a name. One I named Tom, and the other I named Kitty.

What would people do without pets? Probably be very miserable since they are great therapy for depression and loneliness. We always had a dog or cat in the house as I grew up.

[hw]

To all you cat lovers...

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
And that will show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
Elevator butt.

I need a new toy.
Tail of a black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! Good dog! Good dog!

The rule for today.
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hairball somewhere.
Will find in morning.

Grace personified
I leap into the window
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then-
Silence, me, a paper bag
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds
Your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing
Well, let's see you ignore me
Sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.

Terrible battle
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a term paper?

Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don't leave tarp around.

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitos
Fear vacuum cleaner

Want to trim my claws?
Don't even think about it!
My yelps wake the dead.

I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! My Big One
has been trapped by newspaper.
Cat to the rescue.

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams!
My claws aren't that sharp...

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much."

Litter box not here
You moved it on me again
I'll crap in the sink

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for "Cup Hockey"

We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt?

[barelybob]

Killer enjoyed that. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[missouriboy]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
Terrible battle
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a term paper?

Oh no! My Big One
has been trapped by newspaper.
Cat to the rescue.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>ROTFLMAO!!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

The poet who wrote this stuff is brilliant!

[gamblefish]

Cindiann, as a dog lover, I thank you for this wonderful thread...brilliant!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

hw...leave it to you to ruin a perfectly good thread about dogs with stupid poems about cats. Way to go... /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif

Barelybob, have you let Killer out again? I hear that familiar scratching at the door... /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

[barelybob]

Actually, Killer is sleeping on a chair in the dining room. Maybe he expects me to serve breakfast. He was out for a bit yesterday, but failed to bring home any dinner. I'll see if he wants to take a trip. BTW he has family in Vegas. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[hw]

Hey Gamblefish....
"hw...leave it to you to ruin a perfectly good thread about dogs with stupid poems about cats. Way to go..." ....you're welcome! /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif
Hey barelybob....how would Killer like to take a little trip to O-hi-O....I hear the fishing is great there! /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[Trailscout]

A cat is nothing more than a dog that meows, climbs trees and won't come when you call it.

[hw]

Hey Gamblefish...is this a home video of yours?

http://www.StupidVideos.com/?VideoID=598

/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[gamblefish]

Whoa!! That is too cool!! Not one of mine, butt I sure wish it was...

Trailscout, I always thought of cats as nothing more than souped-up rats.