Surgical scars

[Sakhara]

I recently had a hernia operation. So now my belly button has a smiley face. Which intersects a scar that goes to my groin, where it intersects with two more scars.

What bothers me, is that while people look, they don't ask me about it.

When I bend over or squat, I feel the implants. They'll be with me for the rest of my life.

So how come no one bothers to ask me about it?

Is it rude to ask about scars?

[Sakhara]

I recently had a hernia operation. So now my belly button has a smiley face. Which intersects a scar that goes to my groin, where it intersects with two more scars.

What bothers me, is that while people look, they don't ask me about it.

When I bend over or squat, I feel the implants. They'll be with me for the rest of my life.

So how come no one bothers to ask me about it?

Is it rude to ask about scars?

[PascoDoug]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Is it rude to ask about scars? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Some people think so.. others don't care. They probably don't know how you feel about the matter and decided to just "play it safe" and not bring up what might be a sensitive issue for you.

[Hooked]

I've never once had surgery other than wisdom teeth removal. I still have gaping holes in my gums but no one has ever commented on them http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[Nudeinbama]

Ive got one fairly noticable hernia repair scar on my lower belly and a small hernia bulging on the other side of my belly, thats been that way for ten years or so. you can see these in my latest pic's in the photo album, but the dr. says if the hernia is not bothering you, lets not worry with it. No ones ever asked about them, but surely have seen them and wanted to.
Nudeinbama

Most people consider it impolite to ask about physical things like scars or deformities. I saw a man at one resort who was covered with huge clumps of skin. No matter how curious I was, I would never ask about them. Nor would I ask someone, "Why are you in that wheelchair?" There are some things that polite people don't ask about. If they want you to know they will tell you.

[DoctorSurferDude]

Same kind of candor aplies in nudist settings and textile settings when it comes to pointing out physical flaws. If it is an interesting scar on their arm, for instance, not many people would be offended. But people get more sensitive when it's on their abdomen or something like a breast reconstruction.

Best bet is to be patient and wait till the subject is mentioned....if they mention "hernia repair" for instance, then say "is that where you got your scar, or was it when you were with the Hells Angels and got shot at point blank?"....instead of just bringing it up out of the blue.

[florida-david]

I have a hernie scar as well, but it has lessened over time and the pubic hair hides it the rest of the way. I would generally not ask someone about their scar, unless i knew them well. I had a friend in college who destoryed his hand with fireworks - he used to wear a glove for several years. He finally took the glove off and did not wear it anymore. One day, out of the blue, I asked him what was the deal with his hand, and he was a bit shocked as we were not great friends (yet). It actually broke the ice between us and snapped him out of his hand phobia. Later, we became regulars at the YMCA where we got naked in the showers and the hot tub along with all the other guys. That was when i noticed he also blew out a bit of his torso, but he became ok with his body....

[toofeelgood]

Scars are no big deal just make sure to cover them with sunscreen and vitamin e at home to help them heal. I have a few from surgeries and also from just plain living and to me they signify that I have lived an active and full life and not just sheltered inside all the time.

[nudeaussie]

I have two hernia scars and i shave my pubic region as well and both scars are visible to anyone who sees me nude at the beach or resort and i do get questions about them and just tell others what they are.

[Sauna]

The scars are minor problem but I have seen breast amputated nudists and they were happy with one breast and it is very visible. So don't worry about your scars.

[Rabid_Clam]

On my left leg, my little toe sticks out where it is not connected to the bones, next to that is a scar where the #5 metatarsle head was removed. Then there is a large lump on the lower fibia near the ankle where that healed back togather, and then over the left femer is a 12 inch scar where a compression plate was installed to knit the bone back togather, and another scar on the left Iliac crest of the hip where bone was taken to graft a 'key' into the broken femer, and the right wrist has a 5" scar from a nasty cut that cut off all tendons and all to the hand. But I also have a belly button!

I do get questions about the femer scar where it is so huge and it does not tan. Sometimes think I need to carry about 100 copies of the story behind that so I don't have to relate it so many time but I grin and bear it and explain enough to ward off continuation of the subject.

Everyone has a scar. The belly button is one, so we all have one. Scars are nothing to be ashamed of nor something to be worked on to hide. Just a part of life.

[barelybob]

I have just over six feet of scars on my body. Caused by various accidents, surgeries and even malicious reasons. I don't have any problems with people asking about them, but I don't feel right asking others about theirs, unless it should come up in conversation.

[johny]

RE: `Sauna` - ""but I have seen breast amputated nudists ""

I think I had seen this Lady too, because she is Finnish (somehow World know is so small...). She is really the Human with a big letter and nudist with most biggest letter too.

The best sample for us all, as those with scars, as those without while.

[Sakhara]

It's interesting that only men responded to this question.

I guess I am in the minority, because I think I would even ask a woman about her scars.

You can learn a lot about a person that way. By asking about their life.

I think I like just being naked better, instead of being a nudist!

[blackrebel]

Why should we ask person medical questions? I dont understand the meaning behind the question.

I have over 25 inches of liver transplant scar on my stomach and I think that I have been asked 3-4 times over 6+ years of socializing as a nudist.

I think that nudists just go about our business knowing that people will have scars of surgery and/or just signs of age.

I generally don't notice scars unless the person points it out. We had a young man (aged 21) here at Natura who has a large scar on his stomach, I didn't notice until he mentioned it.

[John P]

At the Naturist Gatherings you'll see people who've endured all kinds of misadventures--I've seen several women with missing breasts, a few people with colostomies, some pretty gross abdominal scars--but all these things are part of the bodies of the people they've happened to, and those people are just people. If we accept them, we accept their bodies.

It was a bit much to be in the middle of a conversation on a riverbank during a Paddling Bares canoe trip, where a man and a woman were comparing gall bladder scars, his the old style where they made a large incision and hers the new kind where they just make a couple of small holes and do the job using tubes. They both seemed to think they had something to show off!

[Ruins of Ayutthaya]

(Sakhara: considering the lopsided gender ratios in nudism, there will probably always be more men replying to a topic than women here. Just keep that in mind.)

I have an appendix scar -- never bothered me too much, it seems to be increasingly hard to see and besides, it could be a good icebreaker, I suppose. So on a personal level, I don't mind.

Still... asking about marks on the physical shell, especially on a place where such things aren't suppose to matter, is understandably rude. I would have thought that such things would be common sense, anyway. But excercise your best judgement, regardless. Goodness knows enough people out there use it as a point of pride, but you can usually tell who those people are, I guess...

[Shoobie]

I have a large scar from sternum to navel..thanks to a car accident that required surgery, and then a subsuquet hernia to that original incision.

It hasn't healed well because of how i scar.. its big. I can understand people looking at it, though. It is a bit startling. Especially for kids... Folks i know eventually ask... Kids usually have an alarmed expression.

That said, if people ask that's fine.. i just tell them.. no big deal.

[nudista]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by blackrebel:
Why should we ask person medical questions? I dont understand the meaning behind the question.

I have over 25 inches of liver transplant scar on my stomach and I think that I have been asked 3-4 times over 6+ years of socializing as a nudist.

You have it right, most nudists would never ask about the scars. I have three large ones. No body has ever asked me about mine.
I think that nudists just go about our business knowing that people will have scars of surgery and/or just signs of age. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

[jhoni008]

i dont have a surgical scar but i do have quite noticable severe acne scars from when i was younger. Ive got very dark and large spots on the sides or my body and on my buttocks that are very noticable.

I do feel embarassed and extremely self conscious especially in a social setting and am paranoid that people are looking and laughing. But like the others have said, you just have to forget about it and just enjoy being nude!

Jon

[takeitontherun]

The mishappen shape of my stomach can be seen even with clothing so i am none too in a hurry to fully expose and sorry, all the *we dont notice* does nothing. http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif The doctors were blankity blank stupid and i hate it but i guess i am at least alive.

[MJ_KC]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by takeitontherun:
The mishappen shape of my stomach can be seen even with clothing so i am none too in a hurry to fully expose and sorry, all the *we dont notice* does nothing. http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif The doctors were blankity blank stupid and i hate it but i guess i am at least alive. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
I would never say that I wouldn't notice, but it would not be that big of a deal to me. It would mean to me that you are a survivor.

I have a multitude of major and minor scars and I will go nude whenever the opportunity presents itself. There is no reason to hide because of what someone's reaction may be.

[justnude]

I think part of being a nudist is simply acepting people's body as they are. I believe it would be poor manners to comment on a scar just as it would to comment on a person's weight!

Enjoy the freedom of simply letting it all show-scar and all-unless you feel the NEED to talk about the scar and the operation. Some folks do enjoy doing that http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[stcloud50]

I have 3 operations which left scars. People some times ask me about them but have never senced anything bad. I really do not care as this is the real me. I think it is is no different than some who like to be smooth or pierced.

[krcNY]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by takeitontherun:
The mishappen shape of my stomach can be seen even with clothing so i am none too in a hurry to fully expose and sorry, all the *we dont notice* does nothing. http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif The doctors were blankity blank stupid and i hate it but i guess i am at least alive. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

When I was pregnant, I was absolutely huge mostly belly. The baby had a whole lake in there to swim. My belly turned purple towards the end of the pregnancy...after the delivery it just hung there for many years. It is slowly going away, there is nothing I can do about it. I was always consious about it, and jealous of anyone with a belly button, cause mine no longer looks like one. I am average height and average weight, but the belly made me selfconsious.

Anyway, where I am leading.....after going to a few nude venues...my body is pretty common. I feel better with my nude body than trying to stuff that belly into clothes that were not made for it. My kids even went up to ask the wrong woman for snacks.

[Journeyman]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by jhoni008:
i dont have a surgical scar but i do have quite noticable severe acne scars from when i was younger. ...I do feel embarassed and extremely self conscious especially in a social setting and am paranoid that people are looking and laughing. Jon </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Jon, I'm in the same boat as you (acne scars), which I hate but have come to accept, as I didn't cause them to happen. And if someone stares or, god forbid, make a comment, then that just goes to show how shallow that person is.
Be proud of the person you are, inside and out, and remember that everyone has cosmetic flaws -- if it appears they do not, then chances are their insides could use some work. http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[Journeyman]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by justnude:
I think part of being a nudist is simply acepting people's body as they are. I believe it would be poor manners to comment on a scar just as it would to comment on a person's weight! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

My vote goes to you, justnude!

[P.J.]

The idea of asking someone about the scars which he or she might consider disfiguring violates good manners and consideration. http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

If you know the person well enough to discuss personal issues, then maybe this subject would be up for discussion. http://clothesfreeforums.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif

[tinner666]

I've been asked about my scars and an I've asked others about theirs. While spending months at a time in hospitals, I've found that you get used to them and a lot of people like to be asked. It gives them a chance to talk about themselves and some of their problems.
You don't make a big deal of it, you are showing, in a way, that they aren't being shunned for their misfortune.
Not any different than talking about tatoos, which are also shown off if somebody asks about them.
Think back a few years. The standard then, was that if somebody was disfigured in any way, you tried to ignore that person out of politness, as if they were lepers.

The point is, with or without talking about to them about a difference, treat them the same as a flawless person. Every scar has a story! Or even a lesson! Frank

[krcNY]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by tinner666:
I've been asked about my scars and an I've asked others about theirs. While spending months at a time in hospitals, I've found that you get used to them and a lot of people like to be asked. It gives them a chance to talk about themselves and some of their problems.
You don't make a big deal of it, you are showing, in a way, that they aren't being shunned for their misfortune.
Not any different than talking about tatoos, which are also shown off if somebody asks about them.
Think back a few years. The standard then, was that if somebody was disfigured in any way, you tried to ignore that person out of politness, as if they were lepers.

The point is, with or without talking about to them about a difference, treat them the same as a flawless person. Every scar has a story! Or even a lesson! Frank </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Great Post. I never thought of it this way.
Thanks

[BareDebCNA]

I've got a number of surgical scars and the recent ones are only 5 weeks old. I had weight loss surgery 5 weeks ago which came with a scar that is 18 inches breastbone to below bellybutton and two more drain incisions. The other is a gallbladder scar 7 1/2 inches and other misc scars from other surgeries. At least I am still alive and happy even during the pain of recovery.
Yes each scar for those who have them do tell a story.
Have a great nude day,
Deb in Montana

[David77]

A couple medical doctors are the only persons who asked me about my scar. (Old appendectomy scar.)

I don't mind asking personal friends about a scar, and about the story behind the scar, but I would not ask most persons about a scar, as I feel that would be impolite.

[Nudeinbama]

Wear them proudly. You Have something to be proud of, Not Ashamed. You Are healthy and alive and still that way because of those scars. If someone is curious of your scars, tell the story behind them. Just my opion of my body scars. A near rupured appendix, Vertibrae fusion of my neck, took bone from my hip for the fusion,two hernia's, and one that I'll have repaired someday, adding to the scars.
Nudeinbama