Homeless dude help ? [Archive]

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05-08-2003, 03:39 AM

Hey Fellow INA forum dudes and dutes

RT here again wanting your thoughts on a subject that is tugging at my heart at the moment.

Our (Casey & I) best friend Matt is a social worker and helps homeless kids get back on the right track, either find them a home or helping them get back to school for a better education leading to a job that will help them get a roof over there head.

Last week Matt asked me to talk to a young dude because he (Matt) was having hassles convincing him that anyone with the right atitude can do anything they set there mind too. I'm at university now but after a lot of hard work, I'm not the smartest kid on the block, unlike my twin bro Casey, hence Matt asking me to talk to this young dude.

This dude wants to be a vet but he is homeless, at no fault of his ow. I talked to this dude for a few hours and convinced him that he wasn't stupid and if he has his heart set on being a vet I would help him.

Do you think I'm doing the wrong thing helping a homeless kid get back to school and helping him get into university?

Matt and I promised him all the help he needed, as in help with school.

RT

05-08-2003, 03:39 AM

stevenf64

05-08-2003, 04:01 AM

thats what we are all here for. I know most people have gotten away from it but we were put here to help our fellow man. good luck and I hope everything will work out.
/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif I am sure the last comment will p*** people off but, GOD will bless us when we help even the least of us. to all the people who might pm or email me upset about that comment dont waste your time. I do believe in GOD, if you dont thats your bisness not mine. /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif steve

05-08-2003, 05:07 AM

RT....Please help this kid as much as you can. I believe that it all comes back to you in one way or another. You do good for someone and your payback is 10 times. My favorite saying is: "What goes around, comes around".
In this crazy world, we need more people like you willing to go the extra mile to help someone in need. So do all you can to help this "dude", and you too will be helped in some way.
Stevenf64...I agree.
Have a great day... /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

shãybare

05-08-2003, 08:05 AM

RT, friends in life are few and far between. It sounds like you would make a good friend. Apparently, Matt has alot of trust in you to help this individual. Only you, however, can decide if you will be able to put the time and finances into this situation.
It sounds to me like you are the person for the job at hand so start slow and just go from there.

Forever Nude,
Shaybare /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

Rik

05-08-2003, 08:39 AM

The important thing is to help him help himself.

Rik

nudist_in_Tn

05-08-2003, 09:56 AM

OK here is my 2 cents worth, most of the homeless people I have encountered are dealing with alcohol and or drug addiction(s),until this problem is dealt with by the suffering individual wanting to get clean and sober there is not much any of us can do to help them, I know this may sound cruel and heartless but in most cases money that is given them only goes to feed their addiction, there are homeless shelters and treatment centers that are equipted to deal with these sort of situations. I like the old proverb that says give a man a fish and feed him for a day but teach a man how to fish and feed him for a lifetime. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

CalgaryMark

05-08-2003, 11:33 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by RT:

I talked to this dude for a few hours and convinced him that he wasn't stupid and if he has his heart set on being a vet I would help him.

Do you think I'm doing the wrong thing helping a homeless kid get back to school and helping him get into university?

Matt and I promised him all the help he needed, as in help with school.

RT <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>RT, I'm with the many who say go for it! You could win a friend for life, and have the satisfaction of seeing someone over the hump and on to success. However, based on some bitter experience. . .

Don't lend money that you can't afford to give away;

Be prepared to be disappointed when (if!) it doesn't work out the way you wanted;

Risk it! 'Behold the turtle - he only makes progress when he sticks his neck out.' Of course, sticking your neck out makes it easier to chop. . .

CalgaryMark

05-08-2003, 12:32 PM

Without knowing the person in question, it's impossible to advise. I've helped people before who just took advantage of me. I've helped people who called me a sucker for doing it. I've helped people who took all I had to give them and didn't even give me a bit of gratitude. I don't ask for much in return--just a Thank You will do.

Is this kid interested in helping himself, or is he just looking for a hand-out? Why is he homeless? I'm sure there are people who are homeless through no fault of their own because of circumstances beyond their control, but too often it's because of an alcohol or drug problem which they have no desire to conquer.

It's never wrong to help someone who wants help and wants to help him/herself. It's a waste of time trying to help someone who isn't interested in helping him/herself.

AussieBeachBoy

05-08-2003, 05:20 PM

Hey RT,

I certainly don't think it's the "wrong thing". However, for both your sake and that of the homeless guy, you need to approach the task with a realistic attitude.

From his point of view, he probably deserves support and encouragement, but don't promise him too much - don't promise him things that can't be delivered. I personally don't believe that "anyone with the right attitude can do anything they set their mind to" - rather I believe that people have individual strengths and weaknesses and if they work at harnessing and focussing their strengths they can fulfil their potential. For instance, I am not a gifted runner and so would have no hope of winning an Olympic gold medal for sprinting - I don't have the ability or physique necessary, no matter how determined my attitude was. But I've done OK in my chosen profession because it's one that demands skills I'm good at.

From your point of view - as some have said above, sometimes such good deeds pay off, and sometimes they don't. I know someone who "mentored" a young person with deep personal problems for some time but despite the best efforts of her and the social worker things didn't end up paying off. All she can say is - she tried to help, but things didn't quite work out.

Rather than telling him he is definitely going to become a vet, I would take him along to a careers guidance counsellor and determine his aptitudes and his likelihood of succeeding as a vet. It's a goal worth trying for, but if his talents lie elsewhere he may need assistance.

If Matt does this sort of thing professionally he probably knows a lot more about it than me, though, so you should probably be guided first and foremost by him. As a mate, he probably wouldn't be getting you into anything he thought was a bad idea.

David77

05-08-2003, 05:28 PM

AussieBeachBoy,
What an excellent reply! Bravo!

05-09-2003, 02:22 AM

Hey fellow INA Dudes and Dudets.

Thanks for all the words of wisdom, I think I should clarify a few things, with out giving to much away on this young dude.

Firstly he is homeless because of a family situation and not because he is an alcoholic or a druggy.

I will be helping him in a supportive way with school work etc.. and not in a financial way at all.

Matt is helping him find a place to live and to enrol him back in school.

He is to young to work in this country but will be able to in 3 months legally. He is willing to get out there and find a part time job when he legally can to support himself the best he can.

From talking to this dude, his problem is the lack of confidence. Plain and simple, I can't go into to much detail as I promised I would not give out personal details.

Matt has his side well under control but the lack of confidence in this young dude was very low. As I said in the original post, I'm not the smartest kid on the block but I work hard at it and I'm willing to help this dude with his schooling.

Well, thanks again for all the words of wisdom.

RT

David77

05-09-2003, 05:59 AM

RT,
I cetainly admire your willingness to be a needed friend to this person who so desperately needs your encouragement. I have highest esteem and appreciation for your wonderful attitude and ability to determine and to do the right thing for your fellow human being.

florida-david

05-09-2003, 06:55 AM

RT, congrats on your willingmess to help others. everyday i see a lot of selfish behaviour from people, and if everyone would consider their actions in terms of the good of all people, than the world would be a better place. i try to instill this belief in my kids by joining environmental clean-up days, helping stranded motorists, taking care of injured animals, helping out at their school, etc.

it sounds like your young friend needs a role model and friend from you and nothing else. this you can easily do (its a matter of providing time and patience). his financial and living situation will be handled by the social workers. do not be surprised if he stumbles along the way and you help him up A LOT. sounds to me like you are up to the task and i wish you the best of luck.

does he know or care that you are a nudist? just wondering how this affects the situation??

Snoboy

05-09-2003, 10:07 AM

Bravo Florida David, your comments are awesome. Have a wonderful day nekkid. By the way, the family pictures of you at the beach are great. Have a wonderful summer. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

gamblefish

05-09-2003, 05:59 PM

We were all put on this earth to help others...but who exactly are these "others"?

Well, congradulations RT...you have found an "other". You are a blessing to him, and believe me, he will be a blessing to you.

HomeNudist

05-10-2003, 10:10 PM

Go for it RT. I wish you all the luck. Sometimes we all get wrapped up in our own problems we can't see there are others out there that would give their right arm to be in our shoes. The world needs more people like you and your family! One of my grandparents once told me , If you can't help others you can't help yourself! GOOD LUCK!

NoodJuggler

05-31-2003, 10:17 PM

RT..Your motives are good.
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I would say help the Dude if he really wants the help. Just watch him and if he is just a user you will notice it.
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I have been burnt before helping people like Jon-Marc said and it hurts, but you can still help out..Do what you feel is right..BYE..Keithmj

CalgaryMark

06-01-2003, 06:29 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
Do you think I'm doing the wrong thing helping a homeless kid get back to school and helping him get into university?

Matt and I promised him all the help he needed, as in help with school.
RT [/QB] <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Hey RT - how is it going with Homeless Kid? You got a positive response from many of us, and it would be good to hear of progress (we hope!)

I think the phrase is - Good on yer, sport!

CalgaryMark

06-02-2003, 04:59 AM

Hey Fellow INA Forum Dudes and Dudets.

Firstly thanks for all your support and words of wisdom, I'm finding it hard to keep up with my study, work and housework but I'm managing with the help of my bro Casey and best friend Matt.

Our homeless friend is no longer homeless, Matt found him a foster family and he lives the next suburb away from us. He's doing awesomely, I met his Foster Parents a few days ago and they like me and they are a good family. They have another boy around the same age as this dude and from what I seen they are getting on very well.

I'm happy to say this dude is back at school and doing OK, he's struggling to catch up but he's not giving up. I helped him with an assignment a few weeks ago and I'm happy to say he got 87 out of 100. He phoned me as soon as he got home and told me, I was stoked and so was Matt. I hope he keeps it up.

I didn't do the assignment for him but he asked a few questions and I asked him a few questions and he did it on his own.

Thanks again fellow INA Forum dudes and dudets.

RT

florida-david

06-02-2003, 08:25 PM

rt, thanks for the update, i am thrilled that he is doing well. please keep it up, i have found that the most difficult things for me to do in my life are to continue to do the great things i start. please continue to continue, i have a feeling it will be great in the end...

AussieBeachBoy

06-03-2003, 01:06 AM

Good to hear! Sounds like the right approach on the assignment too. When I used to help my brother with his homework he used to just ask me for the answer but I would sit him down and we would work it out together. That way you understand why the answer is the answer, and can do the same sort of problem again.