I like to be nude, she is scared to death. Any help?

[Idaho]

Hi, I like to run around out in the garden, in the woods and in the house without my clothes. She is terrified when I ask her to go with me. We are in our mid 50's. She still has a nice body, not to be ashamed of. She is just afraid to be naked. We are going to DisneyLand for Thanksgiving week and I wanted us to go visit one of the clothes free or clothing optional resorts while in California. I could see terror in her eyes, but she said she would go but was not sure she could take off her clothes. I don't know how to ease her mind and turn her on to being naked. Can anyone give me some suggestions? Please.

[Idaho]

Hi, I like to run around out in the garden, in the woods and in the house without my clothes. She is terrified when I ask her to go with me. We are in our mid 50's. She still has a nice body, not to be ashamed of. She is just afraid to be naked. We are going to DisneyLand for Thanksgiving week and I wanted us to go visit one of the clothes free or clothing optional resorts while in California. I could see terror in her eyes, but she said she would go but was not sure she could take off her clothes. I don't know how to ease her mind and turn her on to being naked. Can anyone give me some suggestions? Please.

[Dunsunnin]

If she's agreeable, and if you have a digital camera, why not take some pictures of you both nude, in private, just to get her used to being seen - in this case only by the non-human 'eye' of the camera of course. But explain to her the psychological reasoning behind this first.
Being digital, you can delete all the images after.
If you do a few shots on several occasions, the camera may start to represent in her mind another 'person' seeing you both. You can also amuse yourself looking at the images, which may help her to understand that she has nothing to be ashamed of, and what the camera saw is only what the other nude folk will see.
I don't know if this is a proven method or not, as I just dreamed it up, but if it has some positive effect maybe it would help others with the same fears. Worth a try?

She needs to talk with other women that are nudists so she can ask questions and find out what it is like.

First try to get her to agree to go to the resort with the knowledge that she doesn't have to be nude at all unless she wants to. Be sure it's a
C/O resort and not one where nudity is required.

When she sees that most nudists are just average, and few have great bodies, she may not feel so self-conscious about her own. She will see how others are being nude in mixed company without a care in the world about being seen nude or what their body looks like. Eventually she might want to try being topless when she realizes that no one is going to stare or laugh at her, and eventually she might even go nude. Just be patient with her, and let her do it at her own pace.

[Jochanaan]

Is she comfortable being naked with you when you're alone? If not, she may have deeper fears related to her body. Patience and love and acceptance are the only ways to help her deal with these.

Try encouraging her to go naked with you around the house when the children are out. If she's already done so, that's a valuable first step. But make it clear to her that this is not just about sex, that you can see her and enjoy her without dragging her to bed.

A wise pastor once told me that, when I have something important to say to a wife, I should put my arms around her, hold her hand, and speak as if I were telling her I loved her. I am now divorced, but his wisdom remains with me.

[Idaho]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dunsunnin:
If she's agreeable, and if you have a digital camera, why not take some pictures of you both nude, in private, just to get her used to being seen - in this case only by the non-human 'eye' of the camera of course. But explain to her the psychological reasoning behind this first.
Being digital, you can delete all the images after.
If you do a few shots on several occasions, the camera may start to represent in her mind another 'person' seeing you both. You can also amuse yourself looking at the images, which may help her to understand that she has nothing to be ashamed of, and what the camera saw is only what the other nude folk will see.
I don't know if this is a proven method or not, as I just dreamed it up, but if it has some positive effect maybe it would help others with the same fears. Worth a try? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Idaho]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dunsunnin:
If she's agreeable, and if you have a digital camera, why not take some pictures of you both nude, in private, just to get her used to being seen - in this case only by the non-human 'eye' of the camera of course. But explain to her the psychological reasoning behind this first.
Being digital, you can delete all the images after.
If you do a few shots on several occasions, the camera may start to represent in her mind another 'person' seeing you both. You can also amuse yourself looking at the images, which may help her to understand that she has nothing to be ashamed of, and what the camera saw is only what the other nude folk will see.
I don't know if this is a proven method or not, as I just dreamed it up, but if it has some positive effect maybe it would help others with the same fears. Worth a try? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Thank you for the reply. The theroy sounds good, I'll see if it will work. Thanks again.

[Idaho]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by cyndiann:
She needs to talk with other women that are nudists so she can ask questions and find out what it is like. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>It would be nice if we knew someone. If we end up going to a c/o resort, maybe she WILL talk with them, Thanks for the reply.

[Idaho]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jon-Marc:
First try to get her to agree to go to the resort with the knowledge that she doesn't have to be nude at all unless she wants to. Be sure it's a
C/O resort and not one where nudity is required.

When she sees that most nudists are just average, and few have great bodies, she may not feel so self-conscious about her own. She will see how others are being nude in mixed company without a care in the world about being seen nude or what their body looks like. Eventually she might want to try being topless when she realizes that no one is going to stare or laugh at her, and eventually she might even go nude. Just be patient with her, and let her do it at her own pace. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Thank you for the thought. I think I have her agreeable to go to a place called Terra Cotta in Palm Springs while we are in California. It is small and a couples c/o resort. Is this a good place to try for a start? Thanks again.

[Idaho]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jochanaan:
Is she comfortable being naked with you when you're alone? If not, she may have deeper fears related to her body. Patience and love and acceptance are the only ways to help her deal with these.

Try encouraging her to go naked with you around the house when the children are out. If she's already done so, that's a valuable first step. But make it clear to her that this is not just about sex, that you can see her and enjoy her without dragging her to bed.

A wise pastor once told me that, when I have something important to say to a wife, I should put my arms around her, hold her hand, and speak as if I were telling her I loved her. I am now divorced, but his wisdom remains with me. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Thanks for your reply. Yes she will be naked in front of me. But doesn't much like to run around the house without clothes. Our kids are grown and gone. I kind of try a little of what you talk about, I sit in the bathroom and talk to her while she bathes. She is ok with that. I did once get her to go out in the garden with me for a few minutes before she got too nervous. I like your thoughts on love too. Thank you.

[Elery]

Idaho, you do know some nudist women she can talk to right here. Have your wife read what some of the ladies have to say and ask them any questions about any concerns she might have. I'm sure that Cyndiann and HW and some of the others can stear her right...

[Bob S.]

Do you know why she is so afraid? That is one thing you may need to do, get into her psyche and figure out why. Sit down and talk with her about her feelings. If you do that, be completely understandings and do not try then and there to help her out unless you feel that she would be up to it.

Telling us that she had terror in her eyes is a dead giveaway that this will more than likely take a long time. What is her family's attitudes toward nudity (that you know of, don't ask them)? If she is willing, and it is bad enough, you may consider taking her to a marriage counselor. This sounds like it is going to take more than just easing her into the lifestyle.

If all else fails, you could trade wives with stu LOL. (One of those you had to be here jokes).

Good luck.

Bob S.

[Fresh Air]

I'm in a similar boat. Though slightly different. My wife loves being nude and will go nude whenever she can, at home, outdoors, for photo shoots or in our yard. What she won't do is go around anyone but me. When it's just us she's ok, but mixed company is not an option.

The fact that your wife will go with you but remain clothed is good. My wife wouldn't even do that.

One thing I've realized is that it is a slow progression. Though I am not fully where I dream of being with my wife we have made major progress since we met. Here's some things that worked for me.

1. Sleep nude
2. Let her know what it means to you
3. Praise her beauty
4. Never guilt her into it
5. Detach Nudity and sex
6. Find a remote place where just the two of you can be alone, and certain of no one around.
7. Work on the perfect tan together
8. Set a good example /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
9. Find out why she doesn't like being nude

The last one is pretty diverse. I know for my wife it is seeing someone she knows. She cares alot about how others view her. So, clothed or not, if she was seen in that precieved "setting" she would be very uncomfortable. But for those of us who were not born nudists, the setting in reality is different that how it is precieved from the outside.

Fresh Air

[Gary Naturist]

Idaho, here's another suggestion.

Why not take your wife to a clothing-optional beach, somewhere away from where you live so she won't be worried about meeting people she knows.

At a clothing-optional beach, there is usually a good mix of nude and clothed people. Among couples, sometimes the guy is nude and the woman is wearing a bathing suit, sometimes the reverse.

The point is, there is no pressure for anyone to be nude. You can go nude, while your wife can wear a bathing suit. After a bit, or on a subsequent visit, she may become comfortable enough to go topfree or nude, but it will be on her own timetable.

At a clothing-optional resort, most people are nude. Your wife may feel centred out, or under pressure, if she wants to remain clothed.

Gary

[tarsus]

if your wife does not do this already:
go without a bra, then underwear,then topless,
sometimes one cannot plunge into something new.
it takes time to try new things sometimes.

[hw]

Hey Idaho... My advice would be what others have posted here....take it slow.
As for your post about: I think I have her agreeable to go to a place called Terra Cotta in Palm Springs while we are in California. It is small and a couples c/o resort. Is this a good place to try for a start? Although I've only been to a c/o beach, I think FireProf may have some answers for you about Terra Cotta.
Best of luck. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

I used to be concerned about meeting someone I knew at a nudist resort until I realized that they would more than likely be there for the same reason I was. Now I would be more than happy to see someone I know enjoying my favorite pasttime.

[FireProf]

Idaho,

My wife and I visit Terra Cotta Inn in Palm Springs quite often. My wife was also reluctant to be nude in a social setting. We tried the beach for a couple of years before we graduated to a resort. When we did pick a resort we picked Terra Cotta Inn. My wife loves the place. She really feels comfortable and never feels pressured to be nude if she doesn't want to be.

Terra Cotta is a small resort, only 17 rooms. Couples only. Lots of women all about. The owners Tom and Mary Clare are wonderful people. They make you feel very comfortable. The manager is Candy. She is a sweetheart. They, Mary Clare and Candy will make your wife feel at ease and answer her questions and concerns.

Terra Cotta Inn is a clothing optional resort. We have been there many, many times and though almost everyone is nude, there have been numerous times we've seen women wearing something, cover ups, bathing suit bottoms, bikini's and some fully dressed. Within as little as a couple of hours, or before you leave, your wife will feel more comfortable around nude couples and have lots of women to talk to about her fears and concerns.

Just so you and your wife know, we are very close in age to you and your wife.
If you'd like more information or have other questions, feel free to PM me. /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif