OK to compliment?

[barmonkey]

I know that this article has to do with couples/lovers rather than nudists, but it's kind of related...

http://www.hour.ca/columns/messybedroom.aspx?iIDArticle=8227

It got me thinking...if you meet some new people at a nudist resort, is it OK to compliment their penis or breasts the same way you would their hair or their eyes? Obviously, since everyones naked, then noone cares if they're seen, but is it OK to let them know that you think they have nice breasts, or a nice butt? Or does such compliments imply only sexual intentions?

[barmonkey]

I know that this article has to do with couples/lovers rather than nudists, but it's kind of related...

http://www.hour.ca/columns/messybedroom.aspx?iIDArticle=8227

It got me thinking...if you meet some new people at a nudist resort, is it OK to compliment their penis or breasts the same way you would their hair or their eyes? Obviously, since everyones naked, then noone cares if they're seen, but is it OK to let them know that you think they have nice breasts, or a nice butt? Or does such compliments imply only sexual intentions?

[SunGod]

I think it is, so long as it runs along with the conversation. For instance, two occurences come to mind for me:

some friends of ours were chatting with us about a upcoming marathon and how training is tough and whatnot. Comment was made regarding the benfits that they were losing unwanted pounds and extra butt. So I said this person had a nice butt to begin with and still does, but congrats anyway, and the comment was taken as the compliment it was, no hint of sexual undertone.

Another time was when this guy on Haulover walked by who had an uber massive schlong. All the ladies giggled, we guys tried not to stare as well, and it was then that one girl with us said, "dont worry boys, we think all your ***** are plenty big". So....that comment went over well with all of us and as we were all naked I dont see how any of us would have felt odd about it in nature and nor do I feel that it had any sexual intentions. So, in certain contexts I think its fine.

Just dont walk up to a naked girl on the beach and say "nice [breasts]" expecting a smile in return. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/wink3.gif

[Journeyman]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by barmonkey:
I know that this article has to do with couples/lovers rather than nudists, but it's kind of related...
It got me thinking...if you meet some new people at a nudist resort, is it OK to compliment their penis or breasts the same way you would their hair or their eyes? Obviously, since everyones naked, then noone cares if they're seen, but is it OK to let them know that you think they have nice breasts, or a nice butt? Or does such compliments imply only sexual intentions? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I dunno...seems to me that to single out and compliment any body part - eyes, legs, genitals - implies a definite attraction to that person, and personally I wouldn't do that at a naturist venue. But to say, "Gee, don't you look nice today" or "You look relaxed/rested/whatever" - is more generic and acceptable, IMHO.

The only time I have heard a man paying a woman a compliment about her breasts was at a naturist resort I visited last year.

About six of us all got together nightly for happy hour. This one guy from Europe, who happens to be gay, told one of the women he thought she had great boobs. She thanked him and explained about them being implants. Then she went on to tell him he had a great penis. He thanked her and said it was not an implant. We all laughed and that was that.

Somehow I can't see the same conversation happening at the Tampa Holiday Inn. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/wiseguy.gif

[Red Baron]

This is an excellent question. Although I have been to a c/o beach several times, I have not been in a position to say something to some one of the opposite (or even same) sex regarding their "privates". I would be interested in hearing from more experienced naturists on this subject.

[hm0504]

The article is specifically about sexual relationships and in those I would say it is fine to compliment the other on whatever.

Generally, I would say it is not appropriate, or that one is likely to meet with an unwelcome reaction, to compliment someone on body parts not typically commented upon. For example, I would not go up to a stranger and say what a nice nose they had. On the other hand, if a friend had a nose job for a bona fide reason, I would be happy to say the new nose looked great.

[ncnudlady]

Compliments to anyone for their appearance in general as J'man said are appropriate and appreciated for the most part nude or not.

You do run into the hypersensitve female every so often that saying 'nice dress' to them is considered a sexual overture (personally I think such females need to be horsewhipped but that's another topic).

However, commenting on specific body parts is a dicey proposition. Saying someone has 'nice looking hands' is not quite the same as saying someone has 'nice looking breasts'.

My advice would be to stick with non primary and secondry sexual parts of anyone's anatomy if you feel compeled to comment on any particular body part.

[justnude]

It would seem that it would be inappropriate to comment such as the question suggests. It would also be a lie to say that people do not notice a nice body (nude or not). I would strongly suggest that one refrain from commenting about a specific body part. If a person has an overall muscular body, for example, i see nothing wrong in asking about his/her exercise or diet routine.

[NudeAl]

Among good friends in a appropriate setting it may not be inappropriate. I would say you should refrain from commenting otherwise unless you do so in the most generic of terms such as you look good no specifics. I have told a friend they look good, lost weight, nice tan etc, but no more. I have seen some who were truely endowed and felt like complementing them but I never felt it was appropriate to tell them anything as I did not know them very well.

[NudePete]

I was relaxing on our local C.O. beach one day last summer when out of the blue a man came up to me and made what he thought was a positive comment about my body. (Apparently I make a nice bear cub.) I quietly and bluntly told him in as many words that I was not interested. He started to protest that he was not propositioning me, but I firmly and simply repeated that I was not interested. He gave up and wandered away.

I know from experience that I am not interested in unsolicited comments from strangers, positive or negative, about my body and I suspect that most other men and women feel the same. I don't think such observations are appropriate for anyone perhaps aside from close and personal acquaintances.

[Tara]

I'd have to say it completely depends on the person, the chemistry and the context. With some people any complements is unwanted and can make you uncomfortable, especially when they ignore your feedback. And other people, you just click, and can joke around or compliment each other on anything.

So I don't think there's a definate answer on this one, except to stay on the cautious side with the compliments in general. A stranger complimenting your eyes can be just as uncomfortable/creepy as stranger complimenting your breasts if the comfort level isn't there.


NudePete I'm confused, someone thought you were a bear cub? Was it Stephen Colbert? I'm lost here...

[nudeM]

I echo in the not appropriate category, unless you absolutely know the individual and they had some sort of 'problem' with the mentioned organs, or some other part of their bodies. But even though if they were to approve such a question, I would bring it up, but not in mixed company. It would have to be a private comversation between the two of you, unless of course, they were willing to discuss it in the open, with others around. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/smoking.gif

On a different note now, if the person had a scar and you were conversing with him/her, then it could be open to conversation, but then again, I would have to be comfortable with that person to bring up the subject.

[DenitaLC]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">You do run into the hypersensitve female every so often that saying 'nice dress' to them is considered a sexual overture ((personally I think such females need to be horsewhipped but that's another topic).
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

LMAO.......well said!!

I had a fellow at Caliente comment on my "nice [breasts]". To which I explained they were implants...blah, blah, blah. It was nice get a comliment but then he said "[it]" about 4-5 more times. At that point it was too much and beyond just a compliment. Hubby just laughed when we got back to our room. He still teases me to this day about having "nice [breasts]"!

I know as a woman I appreciate other female bodies I see from time to time. I'd like to be able to pay them a compliment such as "You have a wonderful figure or you are in great shape" etc. I don't say anything because I fear it coming off like a sexual advance...which it isn't at all. I just appreciate how much work it takes to get in good shape and stay that way for the average woman.

It's also hard to take a complement for some people. Hubby has finally got me to the point where I just say THANK YOU and leave it at that. I know I used to have to add in other small talk versus just saying TY and then shuting up! LOL

[NudeAl]

As a side note I have been on the other end so to speak. I was a guest at a resort in another state and attended a dance they were having. I was asked to dance by a woman who then proceeded to tell me she had recently had her boobs done and what did I think of them? Well it was a bit awkward, but I said they were very nice. Reminded me of a scene from the John Candy movie, Summer Rental.

[nacktman]

Commenting of the appearance of another either complimentary or not can be distressing to them as well as the commentator and should be judged by the knowledge of the parties involved.

I see no problem with complimenting the general appearance of an individual, i.e., nice tan, looking happy today, etc., however I do think compliments directed at a specific part of anyones anatomy is questionable to say the least.

The exception to this I would think would be in cases like that related by NudeAl when your opinions were solicited by the idividual, here again that can turn into a minefield rather quickly as well.

[tinner666]

Tara put it pretty good. Some people are very thin-skinned and commenting on their tan can upset them. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/embarassed.gif Some, you can say the most ribald thing, and they respond in kind. I'm like that, as long as nothing derogatory in meant. I think that's very important ( meaning, intent,context,etc.)

Safest bet is to keep the pie-hole shut! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/laugh.gif

Joking is best left to good friends.

[Bare in the Desert]

I agree its best to keep the compliments between close friends if anyone.

[FireProf]

I'm gonna have to agree with those that stated that those comments should be between close friends. We have a good friend that has recently had cosmetic surgery.

We've not seen her since then and I'm sure when we do finally go to the beach or to a resort and see the end result, she may want some sort of reaction from us about it.

I feel we know each other well enough to comment on the new look but I don't think either of us would say something to someone we just met at the beach or at a club or resort. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/wink3.gif

[karrenlandry]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Tara:
...So I don't think there's a definate answer on this one, except to stay on the cautious side with the compliments in general. A stranger complimenting your eyes can be just as uncomfortable/creepy as stranger complimenting your breasts if the comfort level isn't there. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I agree entirely, Tara. "Nice dress" can also be extremely creepy--and I do not consider myself a 'hypersensitive female'!--without that comfort level. For example, I've often commented to my partner (in private) that so-and-so at the club has a really nice ***, or did you see the cool tattoo on what's-her-name's boobs? But I wouldn't dream of walking up to these people and saying these things.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> I'm confused, someone thought you were a bear cub? Was it Stephen Colbert? I'm lost here... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
...For that matter, I'd love to privately appreciate Stephen Colbert's ***, but if I met him at a nudist club I'd simply shake his hand and say, "Welcome, Stephen! I admire your work"--the same thing I'd say if we were fully clothed.

karrenlandry

[Christian]

I think complimenting a friend or someone you know well would not be a problem. Giving compliments to a stranger about some things is OK but I would limit it to superficialities. I think NudePete's response may have been a little over-the-top though I am not familiar with the curcumstances but anyway...say nice things, people like it.

[karrenlandry]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">You do run into the hypersensitve female every so often that saying 'nice dress' to them is considered a sexual overture (personally I think such females need to be horsewhipped but that's another topic). </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Hmmm, I hope it's not a topic covered on this board. Too bad you feel anyone needs to be horsewhipped. Even I usually limit myself to a harsh verbal tonguelashing. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/wiseguy.gif

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">However, commenting on specific body parts is a dicey proposition. Saying someone has 'nice looking hands' is not quite the same as saying someone has 'nice looking breasts'.

My advice would be to stick with non primary and secondry sexual parts of anyone's anatomy if you feel compeled to comment on any particular body part. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
I've always believed sex happens between the ears, not between the legs. That would make the brain a primary sexual part, right? Not to mention eyes and nose and so forth. Seriously, I do think we've all been conditioned by society to focus on the 'naughty bits' to the sad exclusion of everything else. I suppose until we evolve further--a few millennia from now should do the trick--we should bow to everyone's comfort levels and keep specific comments to a 'bare' minimum.

karrenlandry

[Jay473]

I wouldnt compliment unless I really know them.

[fred950]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by karrenlandry:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">You do run into the hypersensitve female every so often that saying 'nice dress' to them is considered a sexual overture (personally I think such females need to be horsewhipped but that's another topic). </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
Hmmm, I hope it's not a topic covered on this board. Too bad you feel anyone needs to be horsewhipped. Even I usually limit myself to a harsh verbal tonguelashing. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/wiseguy.gif

karrenlandry </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Whatever happened to Abby's (or was it Ann's) wet noodle? http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/goofy.gif


I find myself agreeing that conversations about external sexual body parts should be limited to spouse, doctor/patient and very close friends.

[BeachBum]

I really don't think a compliment wold be appropriate.... and I personally would feel kinda ackward discussing the subject.

BB

[Nudony]

Tara and others have said it well: it depends on the context and the person being complimented. I've only complimented one person: it was a friend in her 50's, whose body was/is unusually firm for her age. I simply said something to the effect of "her breasts and butt being way too firm for her age!", and she took it as the compliment it was intended to be. I would have never taken that liberty if we hadn't been good friends.

But commenting on specific body parts as I did is not a good idea if you don't know the person well enough, or if an opinion is not requested by the person. More generalized comments, such as posture, skin tone, hair care and tan are more likely to be well received...again, depending on context.

[missouriboy]

"Whatever happened to Abby's (or was it Ann's) wet noodle?"

The wet noodle was Ann's, but she died, so the noodle is probably dry by now. http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/sad3.gif

[DenitaLC]

*I posted the other day in this thread but put in some "no no" words and it got filtered. So, if that post shows up sometime, I apologize for the repeat!

Hubby and I were at Caliente in the upper hot tub visiting with a couple. The fellow paid me a complement with "great T*ts!" I said Thank You and explained that they were implants and continued to visit...no big deal. Well, during the course of our conversations...he preceeded to say "Great T*ts" another 3-4 times. At that point, it was beyond a compliment and annoying.

I know from a female standpoint that there have been times I wanted to tell another woman how great she looked (clothed or not) but didn't for fear she would take it as a come-on...which it certainly wouldn't be. I just appreciate those that work hard to stay in shape, it's not an easy thing to do.

:-) http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/happy.gif

[Daveinct]

I also think Tara said it well (again). In general, I'd take great pains to avoid any such compliments to someone I'd just met. Once I'd gotten to know them, I'd still excercise some caution. Even with someone you know well, what works one day might not the next.

Dave

[xgsft]

I don't complement. Keeps the chances of someone getting upset to a minimum.

[Show Me Naked]

I have never mionded when someone gave me a compliment while I was naked. I shave my pubic hair and have been complimented just a few times on the smoothness of the area. My wife has been complimented several times on the size and shape of her nipples. She was embarrassed the first time, but then she realized that it was a compliment and actually liked being noticed.

So I think it is ok to compliment as long as it is done in good taste.

[WNYjoe17]

Here is what I could never understand

Why is this even an issue?
Why is it an issue that we never do anything or speak of, or otherwise acknowledge our sexuality?
Nudity is not about sex. But life as a human includes sexuality.

And if, on some inner level we find some one, or some item attractive; why is it so bad to say so-IN or OUT of a nudist environment?
A complimet does not need to mean a pick-up.
A pick-up does not need to mean a bad thing.
BUT a happy monogamous couple also means you do not fool around.
This is no different at a nudist club or the neighborhood grocery store.

Why can we not just express an opinion because of being nice to someone???

Joe

[Pops]

on my first visit to Sunny Rest in Pa. I had just gotten there and set up camp and decided to take a walk around the grounds.
I was way out back when a woman in a golf cart came along and stopped to say hi and introduce herself and ask my name. She said that she couldn't see very well and something about needing something to remember my name with.
She looked at my crotch and said " I see you are cut, I'll call you cut Dan."
We both had a laugh and went on our way.

Worked for me.

[David77]

In our life drawing or sculpturing group, none of us would ever compliment the nude models about thier body parts, but we would circumvent the issue by merely saying what a good model she/he is.
We made certain that we did not frighten the model so that she/he might not come back because of being uncomfortable with body compliments, which might be considered too intimate of an expression.

[FMII]

http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/applause.gifI believe karenlandry has appropriately address the issue of rendering compliments. Well done Karen
All the best
FCMII

[Bob S.]

Silent admiration is sometimes the best thing. As long as the admiration isn't too long http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/shocked.gif

Complimenting strangers about hair, styled nails, tats, or piercings may be fine in some instances so long as the compliments are general and tame. My friend has her hair just like that and I have always liked it...Where did you get your nails done?...That is an intersting design for yout tattoo. What does it mean?

However, those above attributes have been put there for a specific reason by the person. Compliments about anatomy or innate attributes of the human body are different and most people will take those compliments in a more intimare manner. These compliments should be reserved either for pick-up artists who like to be very upfront and don't mind being rejected or slapped every now and then and to close friends who have the right kind of relationship and context.

Bob S.

[Christian]

Bob S. -

It's like I do at work. I work for Starbucks and we have a tendancy to be talky and notice things about people BUT I am always careful to point out things about a person's appearance that have been specifically placed for recognition - i.e., a brooch, a hair pin, a hair style, etc - and avoid comments that may draw attention to a physical attribute that may cause them embarassment. I have made the "pegnant lady" mistake often enough to now know better.

[Naked In Florida]

I wouldnt have a problem with a female complimenting me!

[barbararuth]

You never know how people are going to react to compliments.. even people you know! Some may take them well, some with humor, some as sarcastic. I have seen both positive and negative reactions in both clothed and nude situations. Many times it is not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it. Often it is best to say nothing at all.

In a nudist situation, I have never heard anyone comment on genitals, with the exception of those nudists with piercings and/or tatoos. These seem to generate conversation for some reason. I have heard generic compliments, like.. you look great, or great tan, or love your haircut, etc. Textiles often dress up "to be noticed", while nudists often look not to be noticed in the same way.

[David77]

Some years ago, I was in the park behind my easel painting a scene in the park, and outers in our painting group were near-by.
A man and his friend walked up to me to view what I was painting. One of the men said, "I appreciate art too". He then proceeded to disrobe expansive parts of his body to show me his "tatoo art", and I was obliged to view most of his total body, even though I do not like for persons to use their wonderful body as a canvas for permanent ink.
I would have prefered to view the nice drawings in a book. Never-the-less, I complimented him on the nice pictures he revealed.

In contrast, a young man behind the cash register at the filling station, had obvious tatoos on his arms. I asked to look at it, and he haltingly showed me several tatoos on his body, but seemed a little shy and embarrassed doing it.

[Tara]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by NudeAl:
As a side note I have been on the other end so to speak. I was a guest at a resort in another state and attended a dance they were having. I was asked to dance by a woman who then proceeded to tell me she had recently had her boobs done and what did I think of them? Well it was a bit awkward, but I said they were very nice. Reminded me of a scene from the John Candy movie, Summer Rental. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


LOL I love that movie! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/beam.gif If someone asks, you should certainly give praise since that's what they're fishing for. Like every husband/boyfriend/partner should know to do with the "Do I look fat..." question!

[riptidenj]

I think commenting on "private parts" is improper, compliments should be limited to things you would comment on politely in a clothed setting.

[DenitaLC]

Quote by Christian:
" I have made the "pegnant lady" mistake often enough to now know better."

OMG that made me laugh! I was talking to a neighbor many years ago and asked him when his wife was "due"....he preceeded to tell me that he'd had a vasectomy! (She was just getting chubby in that area.) Boy, talk about opening mouth and inserting foot! LOL Thanks for the giggle!

:-)
Dee

[FireProf]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Jason Lee:
If a lady nudist asks me for a comment/compliment about her private area because it is shaved or trimmed.

Should I remain silent ? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

NO.....just say..."I really hadn't noticed! http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/wink3.gif

[Fresh Air]

I sort of view a nudist setting as still having all the same manners required of a non-nudist setting. If you would not say the same thing to someone clothes or in a bathing suit because that "setting" was wrong, then don't say it at a nudist setting.

It's not hard to figure out. Just don't act any different than if you were meeting strangers elsewhere. In my oppinion, when meeting someone new, there are pleanty of other things to compliment someone on (that will make them feel much better about themselves) than genitals.

[Mun]

hi,

it seems my experience and views are bit different. i have been complimented many a times on my butt or penis ... which i take in stride and dont think twice .... and have also complimented if i liked something ... again not thinking twice... if i can compliment someone when clothed, why cant i compliment them without clothes http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/happy.gif so i really dont mind getting any or giving any http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/happy.gif

[pukunui]

I don't think one should comment at all on another persons nude body, positive or negitive. It implies (and rightly so) that you have judged them.

Let's face it, we all do this, be it through our own insecurities, attraction or whatever, it's human nature. But we all want to be acceptted AS IS, good or bad and not be be judged. Just acceptted for who and what we are.

I would no sooner go up to anyone and say "you have great B***/that's a monster D***" than I would say "you have small B***/your D*** is really small man". What's the point? And who am I to be judging them?

[shãybare]

http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/cool4.gif
I agree with Fresh Air. The setting has a lot to do with what compliment could be given.

Always use manners and common sense(?) when complimenting anyone.

And, of course, it depends on how well you know the person.

I always shy away from complimenting anyone on their breasts or penis.