Warning: Criminal activity

[Bob S.]

This time of the year brings the most dangerous man according to the US Government. This man, who uses foreign workers to make his ware, loads them in an open air glider.

Using unconventional fuel, he takes off from his home and blatently violates US air space. As there is no radio on his glider, he cannot contact ground control to warn them of his arrival. NORAD has always used their satellites to track his movement.

During his illegal entrance into this country, this obese man has a list of his target houses. Quietly and quickly, he trespasses into their abodes while everyone is asleep, using any entrance possible. In there, he leaves boxes with unknown substances in it for the occupants to open up the next morning. Sometimes, he also eats some of their food. So far, that has been the only report of theft.

The givernment has been trying to discover the identity of this unknown criminal. They warn everyone to keep all windows locked, doors locked, and even chimney flues closed. And if you see any unknown presents from this man, to be careful when opening them. He seems to especially target the children of the house.

Authorities have a sketch of this man. Plesae call your local police if you see him.
http://tn2.deviantart.com/300W/fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/353/2/8/Santa_by_NodronSimpleton.jpg

[Bob S.]

This time of the year brings the most dangerous man according to the US Government. This man, who uses foreign workers to make his ware, loads them in an open air glider.

Using unconventional fuel, he takes off from his home and blatently violates US air space. As there is no radio on his glider, he cannot contact ground control to warn them of his arrival. NORAD has always used their satellites to track his movement.

During his illegal entrance into this country, this obese man has a list of his target houses. Quietly and quickly, he trespasses into their abodes while everyone is asleep, using any entrance possible. In there, he leaves boxes with unknown substances in it for the occupants to open up the next morning. Sometimes, he also eats some of their food. So far, that has been the only report of theft.

The givernment has been trying to discover the identity of this unknown criminal. They warn everyone to keep all windows locked, doors locked, and even chimney flues closed. And if you see any unknown presents from this man, to be careful when opening them. He seems to especially target the children of the house.

Authorities have a sketch of this man. Plesae call your local police if you see him.
http://tn2.deviantart.com/300W/fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/353/2/8/Santa_by_NodronSimpleton.jpg

[Evernude]

I'm sure the TSA will save us from this flying foe. Haaa. Yeah, right.

[usmc1]

OMIG, from that sketch, he fits the profile of the source of all the world's miseries: A Middle-Aged White Guy!

[nudeM]

At this point in time, he strongly resembles usmc1's avatar. Are you the one who causes our pocketbooks to run dry at this time of year, every year? http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/mask.gif

[P.J.]

To update this BOLO ("be on the look out") report:

This individual might actually be black. His discriptions are otherwise the same: bearded, heavyset, dressed in red & white...

His MO is the same: enters homes undetected. With all the sophisticated antiburglary equipment out there, he still manages to enter and escape homes undetected. It's obvious that this individual and/or his accomplices have extrememly thorough knowledge of electronics and alarm systems.

Although I have my doubts, it's still said that his favorite method of entry is climbing down chimneys.

Despite the way he flaunts his activities, especially between 25 November and 24 December every year, Nobody has actually been able to catch this man in the act. In fact, none of the law enforcement agencies, such as the Scotland Yard. FBI, INTERPOL, nor even the more infamous strong-armed organizations auch as the KGB or the Gestapo have been able to even get either the suspects fingerprints or a police photo. The center of his operations is said to be in the most inaccessable area in the Arctic region.

Fortunately, noone has been injured or killed attempting apprehension of his suspect. There is the danger of falls from rooftops in attempting apprehension.

Please, tell your children: don't even try be heros by trying to capture this guy. If he thinks they're not sleeping when he's making his rounds, he's been known to leave them a few lumps of coal instead of toys.

[shãybare]

http://oakhurstonline.com/icon/cool4.gif
Well, I'm pretty ticked-off. Santa left me nothing, and to add insult to injury, the reindeer left piles of stuff on my roof.