Bob S.
07-08-2007, 07:54 PM
The following was in the Annie's Mailbox (http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/annies-mailbox/annie-s-mailbox-r-2007-07-07.html) column from July 7:
Dear Annie: My sister and brother-in-law revealed some information to me this weekend. It is disturbing, and I don't like the way they are handling it.
It seems my 8-year-old niece, "Amy," was playing with a boy and girl next door. The boy, who is also 8, talked Amy into pulling her pants down. Although my sister and her husband didn't go into it, I gather a similar incident happened another time with a different boy.
Amy's parents are concerned about their daughter's well-being, but are unwilling to take Amy to a counselor who may be bound by law to report any kind of abuse such as this. Their current solution is to not let Amy be with any males except her father and grandfather, both of whom are trustworthy.
I didn't say anything at the time, but now I believe I should have insisted they take her to counseling. The boys who victimized Amy need help as much as she does. Pushing the incident into the closet will not do any of these children any good.
Should I tell my sister this, or should I let them handle it? Amy is home schooled and an only child, so she doesn't have many playmates. Any suggestions? — Concerned Auntie
Dear Concerned: An 8-year-old boy who convinces an 8-year-old girl to pull down her pants is not guilty of abuse. This type of "playing house" between children is quite common, and although it should be discouraged, it only necessitates counseling if Amy were somehow traumatized by the event. Instead of keeping her away from all boys, Amy's parents should calmly teach her not to allow others to view or touch those parts of her body covered by a swimsuit, and to be able to say "no" when asked to do anything that makes her uncomfortable. She also should be taught to report this behavior to her parents, who, hopefully, will not overreact when they call the boy's parents and ask them to speak to their son.
I like "Annie's" response confirming that there was no abuse that took place and the girl should not necessarily be kept from all other boys, but instead taught not to engage in that play. I know, not a typical nudist response, but when dealing with textiles, that is the best I can give.
I would love to just say oh, let them be naked. It won't hurt them. Their curiosity will be satisfied and they will move on. But the important thing that "Annie" stated was that it is normal and not abuse.
Bob S.
Dear Annie: My sister and brother-in-law revealed some information to me this weekend. It is disturbing, and I don't like the way they are handling it.
It seems my 8-year-old niece, "Amy," was playing with a boy and girl next door. The boy, who is also 8, talked Amy into pulling her pants down. Although my sister and her husband didn't go into it, I gather a similar incident happened another time with a different boy.
Amy's parents are concerned about their daughter's well-being, but are unwilling to take Amy to a counselor who may be bound by law to report any kind of abuse such as this. Their current solution is to not let Amy be with any males except her father and grandfather, both of whom are trustworthy.
I didn't say anything at the time, but now I believe I should have insisted they take her to counseling. The boys who victimized Amy need help as much as she does. Pushing the incident into the closet will not do any of these children any good.
Should I tell my sister this, or should I let them handle it? Amy is home schooled and an only child, so she doesn't have many playmates. Any suggestions? — Concerned Auntie
Dear Concerned: An 8-year-old boy who convinces an 8-year-old girl to pull down her pants is not guilty of abuse. This type of "playing house" between children is quite common, and although it should be discouraged, it only necessitates counseling if Amy were somehow traumatized by the event. Instead of keeping her away from all boys, Amy's parents should calmly teach her not to allow others to view or touch those parts of her body covered by a swimsuit, and to be able to say "no" when asked to do anything that makes her uncomfortable. She also should be taught to report this behavior to her parents, who, hopefully, will not overreact when they call the boy's parents and ask them to speak to their son.
I like "Annie's" response confirming that there was no abuse that took place and the girl should not necessarily be kept from all other boys, but instead taught not to engage in that play. I know, not a typical nudist response, but when dealing with textiles, that is the best I can give.
I would love to just say oh, let them be naked. It won't hurt them. Their curiosity will be satisfied and they will move on. But the important thing that "Annie" stated was that it is normal and not abuse.
Bob S.