One-liners to explain being nude

[Gary Naturist]

We need some good one-liners to use when others catch us nude unexpectedly. Each should provide an explanation or excuse and should serve to offset any shock or anger on the other person's part.

An explanation: "It's my birthday."

An excuse: "My clothes are at the cleaners".

Can you contribute others?

Gary

[Gary Naturist]

We need some good one-liners to use when others catch us nude unexpectedly. Each should provide an explanation or excuse and should serve to offset any shock or anger on the other person's part.

An explanation: "It's my birthday."

An excuse: "My clothes are at the cleaners".

Can you contribute others?

Gary

[wannabenaked2001]

Moths! /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

[shãybare]

Looking down quickly I exclaim-"I've been robbed!" /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

[Jochanaan]

"Hot day, isn't it?"

"I knew I forgot something!"

[florida-david]

here's one to try, but be humurous about it---

i'm naked , get over it!!

[Suntied]

What about making animal noises... start barking, mooing... bahhhh... meeooow. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif

It would be fun to watch how fast they run. Then when the men in white suits show up you can just act normal and tell them "It's laundry day... nothing to wear" (I got that from "Terminator"). /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Good idea for a post! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif Suntied /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif

[gamblefish]

"Why are you lookin' at me like that? It is 'casual Friday'...isn't it?!?!

[AussieBeachBoy]

"It's the latest fashion trend in Japan. Do you like it?"

[bennett]

I threw out all my french designer label clothes and this is all I have to wear! ... Do you like it?

[Bob S.]

I lost more than my shirt in Vegas.

The government is spying on me and I want to prove to them that I am not a terrorist!

I'm dressed, it's just a new breathable fabric.

I'm dry cleaning myself.

Bob S.

[missouriboy]

"Whoooops! Guess you've never seen one of these before, have you?" (Indicating: the entire body, not just any one part.)

[greensunshine]

How bout this one:

My CC is so maxed out, this is all I can afford to wear /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

and

With what I make here, I am so broke, I can't even afford to go to the thrift shops for their rejects /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif

and finally,

I am into designer fashions and this is what my latest designer created for me /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif (Greensunshine sports her Birthday suit that is taylor made for just her) /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Greensunshine in the Pacific NW /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[nudeM]

How about: It's nice to see you could join me, or, great day for a tan, isn't it?

[hw]

Today is National Nude Day right?
**********************************
My Dr. told me I needed more vitamin "D", so I thought I'd catch a few rays.
*************************************************
I thought it was awfully drafty in here!
hw

[tarsus]

i told you to call.

[Macanudist]

I needed a LOT of last-minute tax deductions so I donated all my clothes to the Salvation Army.

-or-

I was just elected Emporer - how do you like my new clothes!

[Dunsunnin]

Drat! I've put my clothes on inside out again!

[izzynude]

See -- no weapons......

[bigbird]

"What?!

You mean, you can't you see them?

The tailors said only intelligent people could see these clothes. Look harder. See? You just have to concentrate."

/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[Gary Naturist]

Another explanation: I'm The Emperor.

Gary

[Rik]

I know that the reality of life is that when you're caught nude unexpectedly you find yourself being defensive (as most of the replies here suggest) but perhaps we should look for one liners that put the other person on the defensive.

What about something like "Hey, you've still got your clothes on" or "What are you doing dressed like that?".

Any others?

Rik

[gamblefish]

If I had the bullocks (did I say that right, Rik?) I'd say something like:

"What the #&!@ are you lookin' at!?!?"

Or,

"Didn't your mama teach you that staring is not polite? Now, piss off!!"

[Rik]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by gamblefish:
If I had the bullocks (did I say that right, Rik?) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>LOL. Bullocks are young bulls. You meant to say bollocks but, to be honest, it's better to say "If I had the balls...." meaning "If I was mentally strong enough..." as bollocks is also used to mean 'nonsense' as in "you're talking a load of bollocks!".

End of English lesson. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Rik

[gamblefish]

Oops!! I thought bullocks,er ,bollocks meant balls. How 'bout "If I had the jacobs...", is that right?

This forum is not only fun, it's educational!!

[gamblefish]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rik:
You meant to say bollocks but, to be honest, it's better to say "If I had the balls...." meaning "If I was mentally strong enough..."
Rik[/QB] <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Oh my gosh!! I think I've just been insulted!!

I actually meant to say that I was chicken...not stoopid!!

[Rik]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by gamblefish:
Oops!! I thought bullocks,er ,bollocks meant balls. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Yes it is the same thing but with slightly different meanings when used metaphorically. <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> How 'bout "If I had the jacobs...", is that right? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>LOL. Where did you pick that up from? It's a bit obscure even in British English largely because the word "knackers" (meaning testicles and rhyming with "Jacob's Cream Crackers") has gone out of fashion.

"Knackered", on the other hand means "exhausted" and occasionally you'll hear people say "I'm cream crackered" and horses are often said to "go to the knacker's yard" to be slaughtered for pet food when they come to the end of their useful life.

Rik

[gamblefish]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rik:
LOL. Where did you pick that up from? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>OK, I've been watching the movie "Snatch" lately...have you seen it? It has got to be one of the funniest movies ever!! I've watched it like, 12 times now and still can't get enough.

Anyway, in one scene, one of the characters says to another, "If you stop me again whilst I'm walkin', I'll cut your (expletive deleted) jacobs off!", and proceeds to cut the man with a knife down low, presumably around the crotch area. Soooooooo, I thought jacobs = balls.

[AussieBeachBoy]

Gamblefish, if you liked Snatch you should also watch 'Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels', another Guy Ritchie film. It's very similar to Snatch. In one scene the characters speak in such deep slang that it's subtitled!

[gamblefish]

Yeah, Aussie, I've seen that one too. I liked it OK, but Snatch is just high-larious!! I mean, when Tommy and Gorgeous George drive away with that "caravan", and the wheels fall off, and they try to get their money back, and Mickey says "What the **** do I want with a caravan that's got no ****in' wheels!!"...too funny!!

[Berky]

I'm allergic to all fabric.

[hw]

I am not naked, just clothing impaired. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[fred950]

" Da-link, I don't have a THING to vear." ZhaZha

[Nude in the North]

I would have dressed, But my thong is at the cleaners.

Steve

[shãybare]

Has anyone mentioned "love bone" yet? Of course mine is too small to consider a bone. Maybe a piece of love cartilage. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[hw]

Gamblefish, I noticed in this post you loved "SNATCH". Good for you.....better for wife.

Shaybare......So you're saying you are naked because of your "love Bone"? Ummmm tastes just like chicken. I hope no one chokes on that chicken-bone. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[gamblefish]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by shaybare:
Has anyone mentioned "love bone" yet? Of course mine is too small to consider a bone. Maybe a piece of love cartilage. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Shaybare, you are in the wrong room again...honestly!! Besides, if you are caught nude by a total stranger and you yell out "love bone!!", chances are you're gonna get your *** kicked.

[gamblefish]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by hw:
Gamblefish, I noticed in this post you loved "SNATCH". Good for you.....better for wife.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>It's a movie hw. And, no, it isn't in that little blue room in the back of the video store, either.
Seriously, if you haven't seen it, go out right now and rent it. I mean it, RIGHT NOW!! Don't wait. You will be rolling on the floor. What? No! Not on top of nudeM...rolling on the floor laughing your *** off...GEEZ!!

[hw]

Gamblefish.......You sure do use the a-word a lot! How come? And I don't have time to be rolling around on the floor, not w/hyperactive 4yearoldthatrunsawayfromme!
Maybe we'll snatch the movie up some time!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[shãybare]

OOPS!! Sorry 'bout that. I went tpo school. I was edjucaded ina oklahma pubick scool. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

[AuMatturel]

I've actually used this one:

"Why are you looking at me like that? Are you imagining me naked again?"

[Jochanaan]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by shaybare:
OOPS!! Sorry 'bout that. I went tpo school. I was edjucaded ina oklahma pubick scool. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Now jest eggzackly how d'ja pranouns tha nex-ta-last wurd?