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Single (or solo) male acceptance at nudist resorts

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  • #16
    Originally posted by riptidenj View Post
    I don't think we can generalize. I have encountered no hostility at the few resorts I have visited, I recall at one where I immediately offered to help setting the table, etc. for the picnic, a number of people were surprised to find I was a first time visitor. And a single.
    I agree. Generalizations cannot be applied -- it depends on the crowd you're trying to interact with, and often it's the individual / couple newcomer him/her/themselves.

    Some groups choose to be more closed, others open. Some individuals mix better than others, too.

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    • #17
      I'm not a trained psychologist nor do I play one of TV, but I have made a few observations over the years my wife and I have visited nudist resorts. Nearly all resorts, either AANR affiliated or not, place a premium on attracting and pleasing female members. Simultaneously there is an unspoken fear that without discrimination against single males, the fill-in-the-blank nudist resort would be overwhelmed by single men and there would go the neighborhood. .

      Many singles visiting resorts also find themselves ostracized from social groups and often report that the nudist resort membership were cool and aloof toward them. Conversely, a single male who brings in a female companion is treated with warmth and respect. It's not an overstatement to say that we've seen a male who resembled the late Don Knotts being shown the royal treatment at a certain resort in Land o' Lakes, Florida. Why? Because he brought to the resort a female co-worker that was young, sleek, blonde and very attractive. None of this mass behavior will show-up in the promotional videos and websites for any resort.

      Until there is a magnetic shift in the poles and human behavioral psychology changes, my suggestion for the single male would be to visit a friendly nude beach or vacation in the Caribbean at a resort like Hedonism II where the term "all-inclusive" also includes single males on the nude side. Better yet, practice up on those long-forgotten dating tips and persuade a woman to try the world of nudism.

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      • #18
        i go to clubs myself wifes just a home nudists the 2 that i go to it took a few times before people made me feel welcome singel woman get acceptance faster then guys do by both men and woman nudists

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        • #19
          I can only speak of my own experience but I have had mixed responses of going single to a nude resort. First, I have never denied entry to a nude resort in Tx, Fl, or Ks because I was alone. When I do go alone, I do everything I can to join in and start simple conversations with those that seem more rooted in the club as has been mentioned here. The only time I felt like no one wanted anything to do with me was in S Fl near Miami where most of the guest seemed to be from the northeast and I had little in common with them. After a while, the girl I was dating showed up and the attitude did change noticeably. Maybe it me, but my basic observation was that if the basic focus of the club was based on family values, I was brought into the collective easier than if the site catered to a more adult oriented clientele. But even in those, I was never made to feel unwelcome.

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          • #20
            Almost ALL of my nudist experiences have been with my wife, so I cannot say from experience. Just observation. Other than my own "home club" - Cedar Waters, which even then, I think I have only visited once or twice in 20 years of membership there (and my wife, likewise) -- only once did I ever visit a club ALONE -- on a business trip, and I had already met one of the owners prior to that, and had been in an online list and talked with the other owner so it was "no prob, come on over!"

            But, quite often - it's the individual HIMSELF that determines social acceptance, as it is in nearly any other social situation. Perhaps nudists are a little more distant toward single men, but we have met both single men who socialize well - and gain acceptance by the group -- and those that don't.

            There is one fellow who we consider a good friend - who - we got out of his "shell" - somewhat. He feels comfortable around us, he will sit and dine, and play board games, and so forth, but it took awhile for him to get to know others. And he goes to a resort once a year for two or three weeks, and mingles there with the men and women. But I could understand - not being an extrovert, he might not get along well with others if he walked into a park by himself, for the first time.

            This is why - attending AANR conventions, and Naturist Society gatherings and festivals - mingling, getting to know each other through the activities there - is almost guaranteed.
            That is, if the individual wants it to happen. I've often said - in social nudism - social interaction is not just available - it's almost EXPECTED.

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            • #21
              I have been single at many different C/O venues over the years and never found anything odd about it. People were always friendly and pleasant towards me and I always managed to find people to talk to including couples or other singles (both men and women). But this past month I experienced a reversal of this for the first time when my wife and I were at one of the larger, more affluent C/O resorts in FL over Christmas. While there, it was the first time we were around a balanced mix between couples and single males. And to my surprise, my wife told me she felt uncomfortable in a C/O environment for the first time which surprised me somewhat. This was not an overwhelming feeling but happened at night when we were using the hot tub. There were 2-3 single guys all wearing something in the area and a few couples who would rather have been alone rather than joining in a random social gathering of strangers. While in the tub, one guy joined us but preferred spending time with his phone over cordial chit chat I tried to start which was OK by us. This basic scene played out 2-3 times before we decided to head back to the room for the night.

              While it won't have much of an impact on future visits, it was interesting to see the impact of single males from a different perspective.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by usuallylurk View Post
                About the married man who can't gain entrance because their wives won't go -- yes, I have seen disgruntled spouses cause problems. The people in some nudist environments don't care, but in others - particularly cooperatively owned clubs, as I said time and time again - they SOCIALLY do not wish to serve as a refuge from your wife and family.
                I think this is a grossly irresponsible premise. Just because someone wants to visit a nudist resort does not mean they are seeking "refuge" from a wife or family. That is an utterly absurd generalization. This is one of the legacy attitudes that is choking nudism.

                And I would be curious to know just how often a disgruntled spouse came to a nudist club, banged on the doors, and caused a ruckus over a male visitor...about as frequent as a bigfoot sighting most likely

                Originally posted by usuallylurk View Post
                That's the answer in a nutshell. I have seen people formulate analogies about joining a model railroad club or going to a bar -- they don't need their wives' permission, etc. but nudism is decidedly different -- particularly mixed-sex nudism - I need not rehash all the social and emotional implications - but it is different. A reluctant wife usually won't object to a guy going to a model railroad club, and may even accompany him if she has no interest. But nudism is different... and you all know that. It's bad news for us in the nudist community -- as we realize that our numbers are declining.
                This is true and is another absurd legacy belief that is doing more harm than good. Holding on to this way of thinking is in direct conflict to everything that the AANR stands for. If nudism is really a safe, non-sexual practice, then this argument is moot. How about practicing what you preach? Clubs should offer entrance/membership without discrimination of any kind (sex, religion, marital status, etc). To do otherwise demonstrates a complete disregard for the AANRs charter and is only self-serving.

                I am not saying that all this does not happen - of course it does - but it's the fault of the older, entrenched nudist collective who are directly contributing to the killing of the lifestyle with their closed mindedness and fears.

                In reality, I doubt clubs want nudism to grow at all - they just want to maintain enough membership to stay afloat. If nudism grows, then they will not have the facilities to accommodate a wave of new members, and the pool will be too crowded, the tennis courts will have too long a wait, parking will be scarce, and the old folks won't like the noise that these young whipper snappers are making. If anything, this is real problem with the club system.

                Last edited by scrptman; 12-31-2015, 05:55 PM.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by scrptman View Post

                  I think this is a grossly irresponsible premise. Just because someone wants to visit a nudist resort does not mean they are seeking "refuge" from a wife or family. That is an utterly absurd generalization. This is one of the legacy attitudes that is choking nudism.
                  You might think so. I might think so, too. But the members of these co-op clubs - those members being the owners and builders of such clubs, feel otherwise. I wish you luck in getting them to change their minds. Although AANR scrapped the "spousal consent form" in 1995 - many clubs still insist on it, and many times when the spousal consent form is put forward, they never see the husband again


                  And I would be curious to know just how often a disgruntled spouse came to a nudist club, banged on the doors, and caused a ruckus over a male visitor...about as frequent as a bigfoot sighting most likely
                  Many club owners have had this experience. And in too many divorce cases where there is a non-participating spouse, the nudist question comes up. And in custody issues , either at the settlement table, or after the fact.


                  This is true and is another absurd legacy belief that is doing more harm than good. Holding on to this way of thinking is in direct conflict to everything that the AANR stands for.
                  AANR stands for its member clubs managing their own admission policies.



                  If nudism is really a safe, non-sexual practice, then this argument is moot. How about practicing what you preach? Clubs should offer entrance/membership without discrimination of any kind (sex, religion, marital status, etc). To do otherwise demonstrates a complete disregard for the AANRs charter and is only self-serving.
                  See AANR's policy, listed above.

                  I am not saying that all this does not happen - of course it does -
                  Yes, it does. which is why some clubs choose to have their policies. They feel that they are protecting themselves. Again, AANR, or some disgruntled gentleman who was turned away does not set the policy -- the club sets its own policy.

                  In reality, I doubt clubs want nudism to grow at all - they just want to maintain enough membership to stay afloat. If nudism grows, then they will not have the facilities to accommodate a wave of new members, and the pool will be too crowded, the tennis courts will have too long a wait, parking will be scarce, and the old folks won't like the noise that these young whipper snappers are making. If anything, this is real problem with the club system.
                  A lot of people forget that many nudist clubs, particularly cooperatively held resorts, do not exist to expand the body of nudists. They do not exist to maximize a bottom line. The boards of directors of these clubs are NOT responsible to shareholders seeking to get the greatest financial return out of their investment.

                  They exist to cater to their members' wishes and operate the facilities and its programs effectively -- this does not mean "most money we can make"; rather, it's "let's keep our members happy without going broke." Sometimes this means charging members higher dues and fees, which they gladly pay as they're getting what they want.

                  I know this is hard for someone who finds difficulty getting into a nudist park because (usually) his spouse won't come along. In my observations - your mileage may vary - if a club has a restrictive policy, if there are enough people in a geographical area who are interested in nudism - the non-landed club idea springs up. Here in northern New England (New Hampshire, Maine) you will find two of the most successful non-landed clubs - the Maine Coast Solar Bares and Naturist New Hampshire. In the meantime, the restrictive club ALSO does fairly well - so everyone has a place to go.

                  The latter was founded by a gentleman who was refused admittance to the state's only landed club because his wife refused to accompany him. There are many - what we now respectfully call "those with non-participating spouses" -- we used to use the term "married singles" (too pejorative IMHO) - in that group. And because those running these groups put on a good program, they get many couples to attend - including mrs lurk and me.

                  There is even a former "admits all" nudist club in Maine - which is now male-only. Twin Ponds Lodge. I don't stomp, whine, and complain because my wife is not welcome there owing to her gender. I know there are other places my wife and I CAN go to and DO go to.

                  One might say the restrictions restrict nudism from growth. On the other hand - it's caused a diversity of options to develop.

                  I say "live and let live". The club that is male-only, or gay-only, let it exist. The club that prefers gender-balancing, let it exist. A "Womyn's Nudist Group"? Sure, let it go forward. The women-only nude yoga that takes place near us - why not? The club that opens its gates or events to all? Absolutely a good thing. In fact, these are all good options.
                  Last edited by usuallylurk; 01-17-2016, 06:45 PM.

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