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How has your partners nudity developed ?

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  • #31
    Re: How has your partners nudity developed ?

    I wish it was as easy as stating my desires and following through with them, but that's not going to work out in a marriage one wants to keep.

    I haven't given up though, just being very, very slow about it.

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    • #32
      Re: How has your partners nudity developed ?

      I have been married for several decades to a dedicated non-nudist (though tolerant of my nude preferences). So I have been pleasantly surprised over the past year to find that she will now frequently swim nude in our pool and remain so afterwards to sunbathe, and comments how agreeable the feeling is. So never despair that a partner is incapable of change. Not that I expect my wife to become a social nudist any time soon.

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      • #33
        Re: How has your partners nudity developed ?

        I wish it was as easy as stating my desires and following through with them, but that's not going to work out in a marriage one wants to keep.
        I believe it should be that easy when what you desire is to enjoy yourself. I know of no married couple that agrees 100% of the time, and compromise is a good thing. Would there be a problem if the activity you wished to participate in, but she does not, did not include nudity? I see no problem in going slow, but I would try to make a compromise of nudity inside the home only, with the understanding that you will not try to talk her into joining you.

        My wife thought I was crazy at first, but I never tried to push her or change her mind, and eventually she went topless at the beach. Asked if she would ever go full nude, she said no, asked why, she said it felt too private, so I let it go. Not saying yours will act the same, just sharing my experience.

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        • #34
          Re: How has your partners nudity developed ?

          Never had a conflict.

          After mrslurk's first try - we were converted social nudists.

          Most of our vacations involve nude recreation in one form or another. We are usually not nudists around the house, but we do have a hot tub (rule = NUDE ONLY! ALWAYS!) -- we hold memberships in several social groups, we entertain and also receive invites to nude parties, and many of our friends are nudists, although nudism isn't necessarily involved in all of our interactions with them.

          If, however, mrslurk didn't like it, on that day in 1979, I would not have pushed the issue further, and probably would never have revisited the concept - for us as a couple, or even for myself, for that matter.

          A common affinity for nudism is like a common affinity for pepperoni pizza or Red Sox baseball. It's nice to have a common interest, but nudism is not enough to build a relationship on. As a couple, you'd better have more in common that just one thing.

          On the other hand - it can either be a) a relationship-breaker , if a partner is forced or coerced into it or b) the symptom - outcropping of a disintegrating relationship. I've seen that happen, too.

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          • #35
            Re: How has your partners nudity developed ?

            Originally posted by usuallylurk View Post
            If, however, mrslurk didn't like it, on that day in 1979, I would not have pushed the issue further, and probably would never have revisited the concept - for us as a couple, or even for myself, for that matter.
            Sounds like nudism was/is a "take it or leave it" endeavour. For many people it's not so black and white; for different reasons other than a "compulsion to be naked."

            I'm not sure how I would have reacted if my x had outright said "NO!" to nudism. I probably would have tried to negotiate some sort of compromise, like her written consent to attend nudist venues without her. If her attitude had been completely uncompromising, there's no telling what the outcome would have been - but it probably wouldn't have been very beneficial to either of us. I doubt I would have just dropped nudism.

            But she didn't say "NO!" She said "maybe." We discussed it, we negotiated, we compromised. It started with my home nudity. She wasn't comfortable just walking around the house nude; I was and we agreed that I could.
            We went back and forth over social nudity, and finally settled on an agreement to attend a nudist resort - the terms were that it would be a week day, we could leave anytime and she would not have to disrobe. It wasn't the "perfect" first time experience I'd dreamed of; but we'd compromised.
            The second nudist resort trip was also the result of a compromise. I wanted to visit a resort while visiting her parents out-of-state; she wanted to get away from them for a couple of days. So it was actually her request to make it a two-day stay. Her "non-nudity clause" was still in effect; although she decided to do away with it on her own on day 2 by sleeping nude and staying that way after waking up the next day.
            When we relocated, I wanted to visit a non-landed club. She didn't want to go. We again compromised on her signing a consent form for me to go to the club without her in exchange for us doing whatever she wanted to do the following week end.

            At some point beyond that, compromises became broader in nature because she'd started being nude at home herself; and she was socially nude consistently. Agreements were more in the nature of frequency: we'd attend nudist venues, but no more than twice a month as to have a "life outside of nudism", as she used to say. I even maintained a calendar of nudist events as to ensure that both ends of the bargain were adhered to.

            A few years later, as our marriage began crumbling, and she renounced social nudity, I was gravely disappointed but also realized this was the result of our decaying marriage. A symptom, not the cause as lurk mentions. Yet, a year or so before our separation, my birthday came up and she asked me what I wanted. My sole request was a trip to the nudist resort. We again compromised: she would not go nude but she would accompany me to our usual resort (flashback to the first trip!). Even in the midst of crisis and our marriage ending, we managed to reach a compromise. And she didn't stay covered long when we got there either. Old habits!

            On a side note, my x and I are still friends; which is why I mention her as often as I do. We still to this day compromise well on decisions relating to our daughter.

            Anyway, to those among us who cannot drop nudism, and cannot reach a compromise with their S/O either: I salute you. You're walking a very, very difficult path.

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            • #36
              Re: How has your partners nudity developed ?

              my wife has become more open about my nudity she has told her on sister that i walk around nude at home now when her sister call and i answer she asks me if iam dressed and just last night there was garbage tobe taken out so i tiold her i go put shorts on she said just run it out witch was very surprising to me we live in town and have neighbors near

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