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A Guide to Reluctant Wives

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  • A Guide to Reluctant Wives

    Reading some of the comments on the topic; some of us here have encountered, lived with - or given up - on a reluctant wife. I thought it might be fun to come up with a tongue-in-cheek “look” at the different flavors of reluctant wives, remembering my own experiences and encounters with them.
    Keeping in mind that this is just for fun, and not intended as sexist rant or diss. Just because I’m poking fun doesn’t mean I don’t sympathize with the plight of the reluctant wife.

    Here goes:

    The invisible reluctant wife: No one has ever seen her because she’s never even attended a nudist function. Will not and perhaps never will. So the nudist husband often finds himself having to prove that he actually has a wife, and explaining why she’s not there with him. “But how did he get here in the first place if his wife is not even there with him? Who let him in?”

    The shorts and t-shirt reluctant wife: She’s there, with her husband. But she’s not very happy about it; she’d rather be somewhere else. If asked, she will say: “I’m just here for my husband.” But what she’s really thinking is: “That %^$ dragged me out here!” She may not be antisocial in the textile world, but at the club she’s a stickler about personal space; she doesn’t want “dangling parts in her face”, which is how she views nudist social interaction.

    The sarong wrapped reluctant wife: She’s “just not ready to be nude” yet, and will say this emphatically to anyone who asks. She rationalizes that she’s nude under her tightly wrapped sarong; and therefore is really nearly nudist enough to be part of the group. She doesn’t shy away from nudist interaction; on the contrary she welcomes it because she likes the idea of “feeling nudist” without actually being nude.

    The one-knot reluctant wife: Well she’s nude. Sometimes. Intermittently. But only in the pool or hot tub or to tan. As soon as she gets up to go somewhere, she grabs a towel or sarong and ties it with one knot; because it’s easier and quicker than having to constantly wrap herself every time. It’s not that she doesn’t enjoy being nude; it’s because she doesn’t like the idea of “jiggling all over the place” when she moves around or socializes. If for some reason that towel or sarong's knot unfastens, she will go into a small panic; in spite of the fact that she was just nude in the hot tub, like 10 mns ago.

    The topless or bottomless reluctant wife: Come on guys, give her a break. She's almost there. She's wearing a t-shirt or a sarong tied around her hips because she still has issues with showing certain specific parts of her body.

    The reluctantly nude reluctant wife: She's nude. But she's sitting in a corner of the pool area clammed up and not moving. She actually looks like a statue. More than likely she arrived that day with no intention of disrobing; but she somehow challenged herself or was challenged to undress. And now she's petrified. It may take a while to snap out of it; but eventually she probably will!

  • #2
    Hahaha ... great stuff Nudony! Very fun and I'm sure many a reluctant wife would agree wholeheartedly with some of your definitions!


    • #3
      Another is the "Scarce Reluctant Wife" -- who may spend her time in hiding .... at the campsite, in the car, or in the cabin....

      Another is the "Hostile Reluctant Wife" -- who will growl, snarl, doesn't want to be there, and takes her anger out on anyone who walks by.

      I've seen those as well as your other six characterizations.


      • #4
        mines fits in with the one knot definition.


        • #5
          Just have one thing to add. Some reluctants may go through different phases of acceptance or reluctance during their lives. Case in point, wife at 21 yrs old is part of the hippie generation. Nudity was literally no big deal. Some visits nude beaches in south florida. Age 25, married and still open minded and experimental but interest waining. Age 28 first child, last thing on her mind. Age 35 through early 60s, absolutely NO INTEREST in nudism at home or elsewhere. Age 65, nudity no big deal once again. Nude at home and open to a daily resort visits once in a while. Circle of life!


          • #6
            My wife went through a tough period of time, with nudism. She was going through menopause and was having a difficult time. One of the issues was having such inconsistent and sometimes constant menstrual cycles that she didn't feel comfortable being bottomless so ... we reverted back to home nudism for some time. Once she had a procedure done and she was done with menstrual cycles, she had some body image issues and we worked through that but we visited clubs and resorts and the beach on weekdays only.

            Time passed and she reverted back to her ol' self. Couldn't/can't keep clothes on her! hahaha


            • #7
              That's good to hear FireProf. I like the list too, and have definitely seen/known people who fall into some of the categories. I think the categories can also be applied at the beach too where you can see a similar thing happening.


              • #8
                As Fireprof and Garbo mentioned, I have also seen women go through "reluctant phases." It's usually tied to their emotional state/circumstances, which can shift their self-perception, and in turn their comfort being nude.

                I'd like to add one more, although this one is perhaps a little more rare:

                The reluctant Mom: In a way, she "gets it." She feels nudism is good for her child(ren) and encourages hers to be nude. But for some reason though, she doesn't want to be nude herself; be it because she doesn't want others, or her children, to see her nude. She can often be seen sitting in her sarong in a corner of the pool area, keeping a watchful eye over her child(ren) playing in the pool; or dressed on the resort campground, followed closely by her kid(s.) You'd like to ask her why she doesn't join in; but she rarely associates with anyone outside of her family circle.


                • #9
                  My wife is beyond reluctant, she is adamantly opposed. She is a victim of sexual abuse via a grandfather and has associated nudity for other than appropriate lovemaking as a bad thing. She has gotten to the point of using our pool and hot tub nude with me, but only if we're alone and if she swims alone it will be in a suit. She sleeps near nude in panties because she "feels safer" with them on. But that's as far as it's ever going to get with her. I have some latitude as far as my own nudity around the home, but will say something if she thinks I've pushed it too far out in the yard. It's been years of frustration trying to get her to change, including having her read things about nudism etc., but I have come to accept things are not going to change for her. On the rare occasion that she may be out of town, I will get to spend a day out at the local club or nude beach, but that's it and without her knowledge. I have come to accept it is what it is.


                  • #10
                    This issue has been discussed since nudists starting posting. Probably have heard every side to the story by now. The anquish and disappoinment that male nudists feel regarding their reluctant spouses or partners is real and frustrating. Dozens of suggestions have been offered and, no doubt, some may work, while others not. In a sense, this issue is not unlike dieting. The most successful diets are those generally when the dieter changes their relationship with food. For the reluctant, changing her (or his) relationship with nudism may be the key to solving this mystery. I have talked to many women nudists over the years and, interestingly enough, nudism is the LAST thing they concern themselves with. To the reluctant, it is the ONLY thing they concern themselves with. My wife recently put it... "you are either in it or not". Its not that complicated. Try as you will. Fireprof's wife excluded, it seems most will fail but for the lucky few, it is well worth the journey.


                    • #11
                      But even the Prof still has her great days, good days and ... not so good days! Thanks ... and I am fortunate but I hope it doesn't sound as though my wife is into nudism as much as I am. She isn't interested in the least about this type of nudism. She's not one to agree with posting pictures, even though she has been hesitant about which ones and where I will post them. She's not chomping at the bit to go to every club and resort around here. She has her standards and doesn't like rustic and she doesn't feel the need to always go someplace to relax in the sun. She's a private person and she loves our circle of nudist friends but isn't looking for dozens more. She can be social but she's also not going to start up conversations in the pool or hot tub. If someone opens the door for conversation on a subject or topic she's interested in, she'll chime in but won't start one. There are very few women that are into nudism as us guys. It comes quite natural to many of us. No matter how involved a spouse is with nudism, they all seem to still be conscious of their appearance and still have body image issues and don't like being compared to other women. Some guys don't seem to care and fall back on the "body acceptance" excuse that's it's okay to be overweight or obese. It's not ... not because it's bad for the lifestyle ... it's bad for your health and if your wife is going to try and take pride in her appearance, for you, then maybe you should return the favor?

                      I think one of the worse things that a "nudist" site can do is allow nude pictures of model type women. Many sites have galleries and within these galleries, some guys post pictures of their wife and some guys search the web to find pics to copy and post and those always seem to be of the naked woman posed provocatively or out and out sexually. If you're looking at them and your wife sees this ... she will undoubtedly think ... "that's what he wants me to look like and how he wants me to pose ... and that's not what I thought nudism was about."

                      I moderate a couple other sites and at times I have to moderate pictures that are uploaded. Many times I have to delete photos that have been copied and pasted from soft porn sites and that begins to flood the home pages, nudist tumblr sites, the galleries and then the women think ... "so I was right. This IS what nudism is about." I've stated way back that the Prof changed her tune dramatically after I threw away all the Playboy mags I'd saved for 27 years! I thought I was going to make some money off them if I saved a quarter century and had them in excellent condition. Seems there are not as hot a commodity as I thought! Some ended up at the fire house, some ended up at some of the guys house and some even found their way into the dumpster. No matter, as long as they found their way outta my house cuz it made life and nudism, around here, easier!

                      Many women, is suspect, feel the same way all our female nudist friends feel; "there are times when I don't feel attractive, I don't feel good about myself and I don't want to accentuate my low self esteem by being naked." Our female friends go through this, as well as the Prof, from time to time and they need reassurance, support and patience to get back on track. If your spouse is having some of these issues, the last thing they want to see is you in front of the computer, looking at other women naked and especially when all those pictures of naked women are of those taken from soft porn sites and are trying to be passed off as "nudists" pictures. We've talked about all of this over the years and if that's one thing I think I have that some/many guys with reluctant spouses don't have is a wife willing to talk about it and willing to find common ground. Before any guy tries to get their wife to try nudism ... he needs to ensure she's willing to at least listen and talk about it. If not ... it's probably not going to ever happen.

                      Just some more food for thought. Hopefully it's within the diet!
                      Last edited by FireProf; 01-07-2015, 02:46 PM.


                      • #12
                        'lurk's New (Nude) Year's Resolution - try to help. And so..

                        This is a "second post" -- but -- if a wife is willing to discuss and listen - or - or - you might just get this copy of "N" and leave it where it can be "found".... one never knows. Since making this post back in August - I've read some of the articles. Good stuff. This might help someone.... remembering, the two principals at The Naturist Society are women.

                        N Magazine - issue 33.4 - all women authors and stories

                        (originally posted 8/14)

                        A rather unusual and unique issue. The summer 2014 edition of "N" - The Magazine of Naturist Living - number 33.4 - features a wide variety of topics, from body acceptance, to photography, to self-assurance -- all authored by women. The description of the magazine content =

                        You don’t even have to open the cover of 33.4 to know that this is going to be a great issue! Helen Smith Jones created this issue's cover to encompass the many facets of women in naturism and we feel she did exactly that. We'’ve included a profile on Helen so you can get to know the innovative lady behind the art.

                        This issue begins with The Vagina Monologues which was performed nude on the February 2014 Bare Necessities cruise. Then Nancy Casey regales us with The Naked Truth About Being Nude; there is an article on Facebook censorship, the healing powers of naturism and Judy Williams proclaiming I am Naturist Woman! Hear Me Roar!

                        If that’'s not enough to get you reading this issue. check out Shirley Mason talking about Haulover Beach and all it has to offer, another profile on a young naturist mom who began taking Yoga classes and is now a Yoga instructor. Another profile on a naturist woman who practices naturism on her terms and yet another who questions whether she is right with God. Becky Silverstein writes about naturism and how it’s not what she thought it would be and Suzanne Schell shares aren’'t we all naturists for ourselves? And there’s even more…!

                        There is no doubt that this is the issue that is bound to be the go to publication for anyone who is on the fence about trying naturism. From cover to cover this issue is filled with something for everyone. We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed putting it together for you.

                        Be sure to purchase two copies… - one to keep and one to give as a gift!

                        If you're a member of The Naturist Society, you should have received your copy by now. Some bookstores might carry it; some nudist parks offer it for sale ($9 U.S., $11.50 Canada). If you are NOT a TNS member, you can order a copy directly from the link below - for $9 plus $3 shipping --


                        or call them at
                        800-886-7230 during normal business hours. I don't know if the link above will work from here. Be sure to ask for issue 33.4.

                        If you have a reluctant wife or girlfriend - it might make some effective shared reading/discussion, or a wonderful coffee-table magazine, or both.

                        And all you have to lose is $12. It's a good read. Best of luck.

                        Last edited by usuallylurk; 01-07-2015, 11:09 PM.


                        • #13
                          Okay ... for those of you that do have a participating wife; how much of a participant is she, did it take some time and effort to get her to where she is now, is she ALWAYS willing, if not, what are some of the issues she may have that make her take a step back? Is it all great, no problems, she's always been a nudist, she was a nudist before you, you met at a resort or club ... what is your story?


                          • #14
                            I think our experience (the lurks) is somewhat typical for most nudist couples who are long-timers, but I can't say for certain. We were 27 / 28 and while we were in Florida we tried it at a park called City Retreat in Hudson. It's something else now (Gulf Coast?). The particular environment (she had to disrobe) scared mrs. lurk a bit. Once we were there, we were fine.

                            This isn't to say that all women will be "converted" once they visit -- as they say "your mileage may vary". Now - when you are a young couple in your 20s - you end up spending a lot of time together nude anyway... so it wasn't that difficult to do socially.


                            • #15
                              Yes, Gulf Coast was just sold and is now called Eden Resort. Good luck to the new owners! GB