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  • Bringing up nudity to family members

    My question is mostly about how to bring up the topic of nudity to family members. In my case, my father. I spend a lot of time home alone, and during most of that time, I am naked. So the problem arises on days when my parents are home and I have to be clothed pretty much all day. Now, I know my mother isn't the type to be okay with me being nude around them, but my father is a bit more open-minded and tends to seem more comfortable talking about less-conventional topics with me, so I'd started thinking of ways to ask him how he'd feel about me being naked when it's just the two of us home (I have no siblings). One night when my mom was out and I was going to take a shower, I simply decided to ask him if he'd be okay with me going to and from the bathroom naked. He gave me this sort of weird look, and at first I thought he'd be mad, but then he said, "I don't care, but I don't know when your mom will be home." So now I'm kind of stuck wondering if it's worth pursuing the topic, or if that look was my signal that he wouldn't be okay with it. Overall, I guess the real question is whether or not I should ask about being naked more often, and if so, how I should go about doing it. Thanks in advance.

  • #2
    This is a good question, one I struggled with a while back although from different perspectives including my first and current wife. First of all, I believe this has been brought up in this forum before so you might want to do a search and see what you can find. But since I haven't answered it before, here goes my nude cents!

    - you didn't indicate how far it is from your room, to the bath or whether you pass into view from others as you pass. If you pass into view from others, I would suggest you stop once as you are entering or leaving the bath and ask a question...see what the response is. It could be Nona-charlatan, or it could get more focused so be prepared for either with a set answer in case you get questioned.

    - start leaving your door open to your room. See if anyone notices and what the responses are.

    - you said you dad was OK, but he will change his tune if your mother is opposed so be prepared for that.

    - once you get more comfortable in the surroundings, you will unknowingly wind up nude in front of your mother because you will reach a point where you don't notice it yourself.

    - finally, since this is your parents house, accept that you will have to oblige by their rules regardless of how old you are.

    Good luck!

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    • #3
      I did do a brief check trying to find a similar topic, but they were mostly about spouses or about family that no longer lives with them. However, I will check again to see what I can turn up. To give a bit more info, my room is basically the attic, so the bathroom is downstairs and through the kitchen, with direct sight lines through to the living room. Unfortunately that means that leaving my door open doesn't really work, since you can't see into the room without walking up into it. As for my dad, he seemed to know my mother wouldn't like it even when he said okay, which is why I'm not sure if he'd be against it. This is unfortunately always a complicated situation it seems, so I do appreciate your answer. Hopefully this will give people a bit more to go on. As for the rules thing, I do understand that. I'm just trying to see where the boundaries are.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by nudkin View Post
        - finally, since this is your parents house, accept that you will have to oblige by their rules regardless of how old you are.
        Good luck!
        Essentially, this is what it comes down to. If being nude in the house is important to you, I know it's difficult, but you have to get into a situation where you have your own place and once there - you can set your own rules.

        The other night, my elderly mother was making a dish for my father - that I found largely unpalatable when I was growing up. And I joked about it - "One of the nice things about being an adult and living on your own, is that you can eat what you want, whenever you want, and you don't have to eat what your parents force you to eat."

        This is true - not just with food - but with ANY endeavor. You want to call out for Chinese take-away? Go for it. Walk around the house nude? It's your abode. You like smoking a good Cuban cigar? Your place - light up inside OR outside. Entertaining others? It's your palace.

        There are also obligations - if you have your own pad. You have to make the rent or mortgage payment. If you rent, the landlord won't care if you walk around nude (with the curtains closed) or what you eat, or who you have over. He won't even care if you get the AANR Bulletin or "N" magazine delivered.

        The Eagles once sang that "I guess every form of refuge has its price." Thus is the case when you don't have your own place.
        Last edited by usuallylurk; 01-03-2016, 02:00 PM.

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        • #5
          So just as an update, I kind of took Nudkin's advice. I left the door unlocked and just let him walk in on me cleaning the kitchen naked, pretending of course that I didn't realize it was unlocked. He didn't say anything about it, we just sort of joked about how I'd forgotten to lock the door. Since then I've been either fully or mostly naked (Nude with just an unzipped sweatshirt) all day, even after he gets home, though he really can't actually see me 90% of the time due to just being in different rooms.

          Today he finally just casually brought up me being naked a lot, but it was kind of a one-line thing with no real indication as to whether or not he was bothered by it. I'm still trying to find a way to bring it up, but once I do I'll post about it's success - or lack thereof.

          P.S. As I previously said, I understand that it's their house, their rules. I'm not trying to push my ways on them, just testing the waters.

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          • #6
            I agree with usuallylurk. But if you can't get your own place and you don't have a car you may need to be satisfied with being nude those times your parents are out for the day. How old are you?

            Comment


            • #7
              18, almost 19. I can drive, but the nearest place to be naked legally is still a pretty far drive, and of course, it's winter so they're closed.

              So far, I've reached what I consider to be a very good mid-way point. Though we haven't really talked about it, my dad has expressed no concern with me being naked when it's just the two of us, allowing me to avoid putting on clothes for a majority of the time I spend home.

              Comment


              • #8
                Since you are of legal age; i.e. >18 then you have the right to do as you please. However, given that you live with your parents you should respect their rights to live in their home as they deem appropriate. You seem to be doing that. So, if you want to live clothes free your best option is to get a place of your own. On thing that is a concern to me is your "handle": "Lurker". That is a bit suggestive of possible underlying motivations for you being on a nudist website. What is that all about?

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Adler View Post
                  On thing that is a concern to me is your "handle": "Lurker". That is a bit suggestive of possible underlying motivations for you being on a nudist website. What is that all about?
                  Adler - I believe that handle is assigned by the forum as an indication of how long someone has been on the site, and how often they contribute. Don't believe he had anything to do with it. It will change over time and with more contributions...

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by nudkin View Post

                    Adler - I believe that handle is assigned by the forum as an indication of how long someone has been on the site, and how often they contribute. Don't believe he had anything to do with it. It will change over time and with more contributions...
                    Yeah I don't know how it works, there has to be some manual process. I have a high reputation, I have a large number of posts, yet my profile (not that I really care) still says "Gold Member". But I have never sent them any money, so that may have something to do with it.

                    The original poster is 18 - but joined in 2011 - when he would have been around 13-14. This thread holds his first posts.

                    But if you live under your parents' roof, you have to live by their rules, within reason.

                    Example - if you're 30 and still living at home, it would be inappropriate for your parents to put a curfew on you or stop you from going to wherever you want, or dating, or even going to a nudist facility for a day , night , or weekend.-- you should not give explanations, or whatever, beyond "I'm going away camping for the weekend, I'll be back Sunday night, oh probably 'round 8, I'll call you...."

                    Unfortunately - on this board - and others - I've seen too many single, likely lonely young men saying they'd like to try out nudism but need something of a helping hand. My reply - pick up the phone and call a club. You're going to have to socially interact with people while you're there, anyway -- social interaction isn't just possible - it's EXPECTED of you.

                    Can't handle that? Social nudism might not be for you. We're happy to tell you where you can go, how to go about getting started, and even what to expect when you get there - and know what is expected of you. But that's as far as we can go. The rest is up to you.

                    On this board, there used to be a chat area. I got into a dialog with a guy in Long Island, NY - who wondered if I was female (I'm not --- but my handle is gender-neutral). I said = "Hey there's a great group near you. I have a lot of friends in it - the Long Island Travasuns, they have monthly swims in Wantagh".... his reply "My mother would never let me take the car to go there." Hmmm... is this a youngster ? "How old are you?" ....

                    "42"...

                    On another board there was a guy who was looking in his area (Minnesota) and I referred him to a group in Minneapolis-St Paul, open to singles, recommended he contact them and go. His next question "OK, what do I tell my Mom and Dad?" --- again, suspecting we're talking with a teen-ager "How old are you?" =

                    "32".

                    If a 32, or 42 year old can't go to a nudist gathering on his own, and needs his parents' permission -- there is something DREADFULLY wrong. Something not right with this picture.

                    My analysis of this situation, getting back to the original question --

                    - MRLIFLIF is going to have to live by his parents' rules while under their roof.

                    - but - if he has a set of wheels and a few bucks and is over 18, he can likely visit a park, club, or facility near him. But, keeping in mind that the screening begins when the man or woman on the other end of the phone says "hello".

                    - if he, or any adult wants to go to a nudist park for a day and try out "our world" - and has concerns what his parents might think, the answer to that one is easy. DON'T TELL THEM. If it would cause distress or consternation, avoid the topic.
                    Last edited by usuallylurk; 02-13-2016, 11:54 AM.

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                    • #11
                      recently opened up to most of my family members, after being a nudist for almost 18 years. my dau has known for many years but shy's away from it, until recently I go nude around her all the time now. and she is fine with it now. have gone nude around my step mom and step sister and they seem pretty fine with it and my choice to be a nudist. opening up to them have lifted a big weight off my shoulders. and made being nude around them all that much more better.

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                      • #12
                        Kept it quiet for most relatives. If there's no cause for revealing any info, I generally don't reveal it.

                        If we go to Florida for a few days, we're not "going to the nudist resort and staying at Cypress Cove" but "going to Florida and renting an apartment for the week, and visiting friends."

                        Not lying, not going out of our way very much to conceal. If there was no need to discuss it, we don't discuss it.


                        As a parent of a now-fully grown mature adult woman - I now look back to her young adulthood days. There are some things parents DON'T want to know. Getting back to the original question - if a young adult (18+) male or female spends time at a nudist park or club .... and the parents don't know.... then the parents don't know.

                        This is assuming the young adult is mature enough to handle a situation like social nudism, and that his/her (usually HIS) parents aren't exerting unnecessary over-control of their adult child.
                        I say "unnecessary" because there are some young adults -- as I said - in their 20s and 30s who are not emancipated enough from their parents to make decisions on their own.



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                        • #13
                          At one point, it was my desire to let everyone know about us, our lifestyle and what we do ... that has long gone. My wife has always been a bit more private about our life and that's fine, I respect that and that is why I've not taken the more "open" road about our nudist life. I was in the OP's bare feet for a short time during my initial venture into nudism. I had my own bedroom at age 14 and starting HS. My step father ensured that I had a lock on my door. He felt it was necessary with 4 younger siblings that didn't understand my need for privacy. It was then that I began my nudist tendencies and I just confined them to my bedroom when everyone was home and enjoyed the entire house and backyard when everyone was gone. I made it work and that was long before cell phones.

                          Open and honest conversations with your parents is essential for a good relationship. If you feel you're unable to speak freely about your desire to be nude around the house when they are not there and they agree but would rather not see you naked, setting perimeters for doing so is as easy as calling or texting you before they come home and you should then respect their wishes and cover when they are around. With open and honest communication, who knows ... they both may not care. But you'll never know until you sit down and talk with them openly.

                          Nudism/Naturism, nudists/naturists ... it's pretty basic stuff. What complicates things are the individuals themselves. All of us bring our own brand of nudism/naturism to the table. The lifestyle isn't a "one size fits all." We also have adult children with their own families. Agreed ... there are plenty of things we'd rather not know about but ... our girls are open with us about most everything. It's their desire to talk with us and be open with us ... mostly their mother. We still try and give them general advise about decisions they are trying to make but ultimately, it's their decision and their choices.

                          Open and honest conversations between parents and their children, no matter what age, is ... we think, so important for a close relationship. We don't always agree and some of the decisions they make or we make don't sit well with either of us but ... at least we know where we all stand on many issues that make us a close family. We respect and support most everything we do and for those things we don't agree on ... it's just part of life.

                          Talk to your parents or ... look for an option to move out alone or with friends that share your desire for nudism.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            In the day - long before my teens I learned best NOT talk about anything with my parents. My nude time - and in the teens I actually got quite a lot - was [so to speak] strictly under cover.

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