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  • How do I get my wife to be nude?

    I am 26 years old. I have never been nude around other people, but I want to give it a try. I think I would enjoy it. The only problem is that i want my wife to participate. I cannot seem to convince her that she might enjoy it. I told just try it once and if you don't like it I'll never ask to do it again. I really want to do this, but I also want her to be a part of it. If she continues to decline should I go ahead and go by myself? How can I convince her? Please help.

  • #2
    I am 26 years old. I have never been nude around other people, but I want to give it a try. I think I would enjoy it. The only problem is that i want my wife to participate. I cannot seem to convince her that she might enjoy it. I told just try it once and if you don't like it I'll never ask to do it again. I really want to do this, but I also want her to be a part of it. If she continues to decline should I go ahead and go by myself? How can I convince her? Please help.

    Comment


    • #3
      Jason A..I would think that if you tried it by
      yourself, she might give it a go just so she
      wouldn't be left out. That's especially true
      if you tried it and really enjoyed the experience.
      By the way, welcome to the INA forum!

      Comment


      • #4
        Jason welcome;afew simple tips to start.Dont go alone,it will create a split in your marriage union.Go do outdoor thihgs like camping ,hiking etc.together.My wife an i started this way,it led to intimate outdoor activities while on picnics hiking etc. We progress to sunbathing,skinniny diping,with some of her relatives.This may take years,we dont to nude resorts my wife is not ready yet.Were,married 24 years now the progress has been worth the wait. Good luck Jeep

        Comment


        • #5
          I disagree with Jeep.If your marriage is strong it's hardly likely to fall apart because you want to do something she doesn't. Many a would-be naturist caves in to the demands of their non-nudist spouse and spend years resenting the fact that they can't do what they want and many couples make the mistake of always compromising when they disagree but the end result is that no-one gets what they really want and everyone gets what they don't really want. Either way the relationship is never strengthened by always capitulating.

          I say go it alone but make sure you're completely open and honest about it. You'll both survive.

          Rik

          Comment


          • #6
            Some people will never become nudists, but let's assume that your wife wasn't traumatized in her youth and that she is just a little shy and body-conscious.

            If so, perhaps she could go to a nude beach with you and you could wear as little as you please and she could remain covered up in normal beachwear.

            I know of one couple at a nudist resort. The first time I saw them, she kept her bathing suit bottom on and her husband was nude. One day, they both arrived at the pool in the nude. There was no fanfare; she just quietly decided that she was ready. I hope your wife will come to see nudity won't put her in the spotlight. She will be just like anyone else: comfortable!

            Comment


            • #7
              Welcome, Jason, to the forum. I'm no longer married and probably not qualified to answer, but here's my 2 cents worth.

              Most nudist clubs and resorts are clothing optional. Tell your wife that she can remain clothed until she is ready to try partial or complete nudity. The same thing if you go to a nude beach.

              If she still refuses, ask her if she would care if you went because you're interested in trying a new experience that you believe you would enjoy. Then you can excitedly tell her how wonderful it was to be free of clothes and that you would love to share it with her even if she remains clothed. Of course, she might think you're wanting to go for some reason other than just enjoying being nude outdoors with other people who also enjoy it, but she just might agree to go and try it. I had a man where I work interested in going to Turtle Lake Resort here in MI. When he asked his girlfriend about going, she asked him, "What are you up to? I know you're up to something." He won't go alone because he's afraid it would damage his relationship with her.

              However, if you never go for fear of destroying your relationship, you could always resent that decision and wonder what fun you missed out on by giving in to her. Of course, you can't force her to go, but hopefully you can get her to give in a little at a time. Asking her to go and be nude with total strangers is a lot to ask, but she can start out being fully clothed and gradually wear a little less as time goes by. Good luck, and the key words are "patience" and "perseverence". Hopefully, she will gradually come around. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif[/img]

              Comment


              • #8
                Jason,

                What you should do is start to go naked at home. Ask her to occasionally join you. And in these instances, do not make it out to be something sexual. Just watch TV or make dinner sans clothing.

                She may take to it or not. But don't pressure her. And keep a dialogue open between you two regarding nudism and public nudity. She may allow you to go to a nudist park or beach, but keep in mind that a lot of parks are leery about accepting unaccompanied married persons to their parks. This is mainly, I believe, a legal tactic so that they cannot be dragged into a divorce case where one partner's practice of nudism is a factor.

                Keep on trying. She may one day turn the corner. Good luck.

                Bob S.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I agree with the previous post. Try it at home or in some other "safe" environment, perhaps a hotel with a private hot tub. She has to be comfortable with herself first. For some reason being in or around water is conducive to nudity.

                  Then you could try it with some trusted friends, backyard hot tub after dinner and a few drinks. You may look into joining on a trial basis a nonlanded club, a club without grounds. Quite a few of them have potlucks at club members homes they usually have a hot tub there. Most of these do not require nudity so she may remain clothed.

                  I would like to recomend our nude beaches if you live in an area that has them, but alas many of them are frequented by less than desirable types that may make it uncomfortable for a first timer. So I would not try these until she has progressed a bit.

                  If she is anything like my wife you will have to work to overcome a lot of her fears. Some of which may have to do with your motivation for doing this and your relationship and her own negative body image.

                  Have patience, be gentle but persistant, and always try to demonstrate the positive benfits you and her may derive from this. It took me several years to get my wife to go with me and yes I did go by myself durring that time. Good luck

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Dear Jason,

                    I would like to add my 2 cents worth in on this topic, from a female perspective who was married to a non nudist [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif[/img] It wasn't me being a nudist that destroyed our marriage, it was other factors...so if your biggest concern is "What is it going to do negatively to your marriage," look at all the other other factors that could also be impacting your life together.

                    Sorry but chosing to run around naked with or without each other is just a copout for other things that could also destroy your marriage, such as in the case of mine, he was a closet alcohic amongst many other reasons why it failed.

                    Greensunshine [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Pardon me for straying from the topic at hand but this thread highlighted to me a (vaguely) related issue...

                      I've only been to a nudist beach once, and it ended up being a failed attempt at enjoying public nudity for the first time. I got as far as wearing only my shorts, but I couldn't pluck up the courage to take them off and hence quickly vacated the area - my face flushed with embarrassment! I'll freely admit that "nerves" played a big part in holding me back, but in retrospect I recall several nudists staring at me as if I was committing some kind of crime. I'm sure this played a part in my reluctance to make another attempt at public nudity.

                      A few years pass and I now find myself trying again, only this time taking it one little step at a time. As the weather warms up here in the Aussie summer I've been nude around the house as frequently as possible, and hopefully I'll pluck up the courage to visit a nude beach again before the weather turns cold again.

                      Perhaps the moral of this story is that some of us just need to be "eased" into the lifestyle, rather than thrown in at the deep end. I think it also highlights the importance of established nudists being as tolerant as possible of those who visit their beaches and clubs without removing clothing. I understand the concern about "gawkers" but surely it would be pretty easy to distinguish them from the nervous newcomers.

                      I also hasten to point out that I fully understand not all nudists are as militant as the ones I encountered. That's exactly why I'm committed to giving nude bathing another try.

                      Cheers!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        quote:
                        Originally posted by TomorrowMan:
                        [qb]Pardon me for straying from the topic at hand but this thread highlighted to me a (vaguely) related issue...

                        I've only been to a nudist beach once, and it ended up being a failed attempt at enjoying public nudity for the first time. I got as far as wearing only my shorts, but I couldn't pluck up the courage to take them off and hence quickly vacated the area - my face flushed with embarrassment! I'll freely admit that "nerves" played a big part in holding me back, but in retrospect I recall several nudists staring at me as if I was committing some kind of crime. I'm sure this played a part in my reluctance to make another attempt at public nudity.

                        A few years pass and I now find myself trying again, only this time taking it one little step at a time. As the weather warms up here in the Aussie summer I've been nude around the house as frequently as possible, and hopefully I'll pluck up the courage to visit a nude beach again before the weather turns cold again.

                        Perhaps the moral of this story is that some of us just need to be "eased" into the lifestyle, rather than thrown in at the deep end. I think it also highlights the importance of established nudists being as tolerant as possible of those who visit their beaches and clubs without removing clothing. I understand the concern about "gawkers" but surely it would be pretty easy to distinguish them from the nervous newcomers.

                        I also hasten to point out that I fully understand not all nudists are as militant as the ones I encountered. That's exactly why I'm committed to giving nude bathing another try.

                        Cheers![/qb]
                        Yes,nudists do need to be more tolerant of the clothed people on the beach. I don't think they realize that some of them aren't gawkers and might just need some encouragement. I've made that mistake myself twice so now I just go and ask them why they are there. Sometimes having someone to talk to helps you to actually go all the way and take those shorts off.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          quote:
                          Originally posted by jason_a:
                          [qb]I am 26 years old. I have never been nude around other people, but I want to give it a try. I think I would enjoy it. The only problem is that i want my wife to participate. I cannot seem to convince her that she might enjoy it. I told just try it once and if you don't like it I'll never ask to do it again. I really want to do this, but I also want her to be a part of it. If she continues to decline should I go ahead and go by myself? How can I convince her? Please help.[/qb]
                          You've gotten some good advice so far. Please remember education is a good thing too. If she likes the Internet give her some good nudist websites to visit like this one.

                          If she isn't online then print out anything you find that might help her to understand what we are about.

                          Find out specifically what her objections are so you can show her that her fears are not founded on reality. Many people have religious objections for instance. There are good websites out there for christian nudists like www.cheef.com and lots of others.

                          If her fears are based in a lack of confidence in her physical appearance there are articles on that too, written by women nudists that went through this.

                          Get literature from a resort near you so she can see what it is like. Have her call them and ask them questions if you can. Some places have orientation for newbies so ask the club.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            "Originally posted by jason_a:
                            I am 26 years old. I have never been nude around other people, but I want to give it a try. I think I would enjoy it. The only problem is that i want my wife to participate. I cannot seem to convince her that she might enjoy it. I told just try it once and if you don't like it I'll never ask to do it again. I really want to do this, but I also want her to be a part of it. If she continues to decline should I go ahead and go by myself? How can I convince her? Please help."

                            You don't try to persuade her. She might enjoy it, but she might not. You should respect her wishes not to participate in nudity if she doesn't want to. I would NEVER try to persuade my wife to be naked anywhere - I can just imagine what she would say if I did!!! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]

                            Stu

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I think you need to be patient with your wife. Someone who hasn't thought about nudism much, or who isn't inclined, will take time to come around. In the meantime, if your marriage is strong, your nudism around the house or occasional visits to a resort can be accepted. At least, that's how it is in my case. I am usually nude around the house in the morning and evening, watching TV, and sometimes at dinner. My wife and kids are around, and all seem to accept it, although they don't go nude themselves. I have also been to resorts several times -- alone -- with my wife's encouragement and understanding. I find nudism extremely relaxing. From my few experiences at a resort, nothing tawdry goes on. In many respects, it's more conservative than at a community rec center.

                              Good luck. Talk it out, and maybe she'll come around.

                              Trav

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