Parents walking around the house nude bugs sisters

[jasenj]

Things did change. They are growing up. Now that they are changing into women, they notice men. Now they are different.

Have you ever noticed a kid getting close to mom or dad and grabbing a leg close to their crotch? Or burying their head in their crotch? That is because it doesn't matter. Think a teenager would get this close to a crotch still? Heck no. They now know what the crotch "contains." It's different.

Agreed. My nine year old daughter still grabs my crotch occasionally. One of these days she'll realize what those parts are for and start to really understand what those parts of hers are. Puberty and sexual awareness certainly are good enough excuses for being uncomfortable around Dad and his male sex parts.

When they get more mature they could again be comfortable with familial nudity. But all those hormones raging, peer influence, popular culture; all certainly influence the girls to be creeped out by their naked dad.

- Jasen.

[Bob S.]

Home Nudist: "Could it be dad's naked image is giving her thoughts or feelings (arousal?) that she can't control and knows are inappropriate? And, is she projecting that younger brother will feel the same about mom?"

I doubt they would be having sexual feelings or thoughts about their father. Even if that were the case, clothes would not cover those feelings (pun intended). They never do. I just think they have bought into the popular idea of the opposite sex nudity taboo that is being espoused by friends and society in general, but they are projecting their own feelings onto their brother, which is wrong.

Bob S.

[David77]

Home Nudist:

"Could it be dad's naked image is giving her thoughts or feelings (arousal?) that she can't control and knows are inappropriate? And, is she projecting that younger brother will feel the same about mom?"

As well as I can remember from my classes in social work graduate school, I think that Freud would say that this is true.
He states that there are stages in a child's development including the Oedipal period, concerning affection of opposite gender parent.

I think that posts of Bob S. discredits (at least some?) of Freud's thinking. I think that Bob S. is more eclectic in the area of child development. I myself choose what theory of the many schools of thought which seems to be valid.

Some psychological theorists would suggest that the girl was trying to avoid "psychological incest".

[Home Nudist]

Have you ever noticed a kid getting close to mom or dad and grabbing a leg close to their crotch? Or burying their head in their crotch? That is because it doesn't matter. Think a teenager would get this close to a crotch still? Heck no. They now know what the crotch "contains." It's different.

We're not talking about "getting close to a crotch."

Simply seeing dad naked is a far cry from burying your head in his crotch or grabbing him around the upper thigh, so that your hands are near his "bits." Thirteen and fifteen year-olds don't act that way. It's inappropriate. And if they did, CPS should be called in.

I can accept that they may be seeing "things" differently, but they've grown up with naked dad. Suddenly, it's not acceptable? He's not a stranger, and they haven't accused him of any wrong-doing. Is it his responsibility to now cover up -- because THEY have issues?

I think what Bob S. said is closer to the truth:

I just think they have bought into the popular idea of the opposite sex nudity taboo that is being espoused by friends and society in general, but they are projecting their own feelings onto their brother, which is wrong.

[NAaT]

In my opinion, we are missing a very important part of the equation... communication.

It may be a case where the parents have not communicated with their children about the changes that they will go through during puberty, well in advance of experiencing it.

I have read in these forums before, that the nudist family is a more open and honest family. That nudist children experience things like sex much later in life than textile children. It is my assumption that such children are from families who communicate about everything, including puberty and sexuality.

If a child suddenly becomes modest at puberty, it is likely due to not knowing anything about the changes, that it is normal and expected and what those changes mean in regards to emotions, feelings, and sexual arousal. The kids are scared, unsure of what is happening to themselves and rely on false information from their friends, who also don't know the truths about these things.

I was raised in a textile home where puberty was completely ignored. I was introduced to deodorant when my oldest sister announced to my parents, in front of everyone, that I had B.O. and needed deodorant. I was extremely self conscious about my body. I remember avoiding looking at my own penis! My mother told me nothing of sex until I returned from my honeymoon. She handed me a booklet on sex that her mother had received e for her, from a doctor, which required a prescription! Too late now, Mom!

I was not a muscular or sports minded kid. I was only 130# at 21 years old! Most of my classmates in middle school had already reached puberty. It was torture for me to change clothes and shower in front of them for gym class. Looking back, it would have made a world of difference if my parents had made a point to have many conversations with me about puberty, well in advance of the experience. It may have changed my whole self image and I may not have had the fears of changing in front of others. I shared a room with my brother, 10 years older, for most of my childhood. I don't remember seeing him nude, even once. I was 39 and he was 49 when we discovered that we are both nudists!

Unfortunately, I came to these conclusions much too late to discuss these issues with my own children. Going by my parents' example, I did not address the topic of puberty with my children, either.

Please, if you have small children, begin to talk to them, not only about sex and where babies come from, but also the changes he/she will experience during puberty. It is very important to understand the hormonal changes, the emotional issues, anger, angst, pubic hair, breasts, periods, erections, ejaculations, wet dreams, deeper voices, etc., with your children. It is better for them to hear the truth from their parents than from mis-informed friends who "learn" this from the internet or a porn magazine.

I can certainly understand the situation in which these girls find themselves. They are afraid of the unknown. They are thinking that these changes only happen to them and not to anyone else in the world. Even as adults, we tend to think that no one in the world has ever experienced my problems. Knowledge is power.

-JR

[Home Nudist]

I can certainly understand the situation in which these girls find themselves.

Ah, no you don't.

These girls aren't complaining about lack of information about their own changing bodies. It doesn't seem to be an issue at all:

We aren't prudes and don't have a problem with nudity around our mom and other females...

The problem seems to be specifically about dad being naked around them -- and not respecting their privacy in their own rooms:

it really bothers me and my sister to see our dad this way.....snip..... but we started locking our door because our dad would think nothing of walking in on us

You write a poignant post to which, I'm sure, many people with body image issues can relate. However, you misunderstand the OP, and you are projecting YOUR own experiences into these girls, which does not seem to be what they are saying at all. Read OP again.

I agree with you about communications, however. If the girls have specific issues about being around their naked father and him barging into their rooms unannounced, they should all sit down that have THAT talk -- not the talk about changes during puberty.

The girls haven't raised that issue in this post as far as I can see. They aren't talking about being overly modest. The complaint seems to be dad's lack of modesty and lack of respect for their space.

[Naturist Mark]

Communication? C'mon. These are teenagers we are talking about. The age of extreme conformity - even the 'rebels' demand extreme conformity within their tribe. There is going to be something about their parents that teens find intolerable - most likely whatever is most out of the ordinary. Guess what that it is going to be in nudist families.

[nudeyooper]

I once commented to the parent of an 18 year old with the daughter present that the smartest anyone will be in life is 17 or 18. After that you get dumber and the dumbest you will ever be is when you are the parent of an 18 year old.

Dad should not just barge into the kids' room, but he and mom had set a standard of dress a long time ago, and if the kids don't like this aspect of their parents, they will find something else after the parents get dressed. There will always be an issue. This may be one of the easier with which to deal.

[Bob S.]

David: "As well as I can remember from my classes in social work graduate school, I think that Freud would say that this is true.
He states that there are stages in a child's development including the Oedipal period, concerning affection of opposite gender parent. "

The Oedipal complex is within the phallic stage of development in Freud's psychosexual stages. This stage is between the ages of three and five. Of course, these girls would have gone through the Electra complex, which is the female version of the Oedipal complex. They also should have breezed past them as the parents were home nudists. The girls are in the genital stage now, which should be healthy assuming they passed through all other stages.

Keep in mind I don't buy into Freud's theory, I just know it well. The psychosexual theory actually requires an open nude household, particularly in the early years of the child. After that, it doesn't matter assuming the children got through the stages.

Bob S.

[Kouak]

We're not talking about "getting close to a crotch."

Simply seeing dad naked is a far cry from burying your head in his crotch or grabbing him around the upper thigh, so that your hands are near his "bits." Thirteen and fifteen year-olds don't act that way. It's inappropriate. And if they did, CPS should be called in.

I can accept that they may be seeing "things" differently, but they've grown up with naked dad. Suddenly, it's not acceptable? He's not a stranger, and they haven't accused him of any wrong-doing. Is it his responsibility to now cover up -- because THEY have issues?

You are missing my point. If a 3yo does this, is it normal? a 5yo? a 7yo? When exactly does it stop? My point is, what may be acceptable at one point, can change.