I'm wearing her down...

Mike2Nude · #1 01-11-2009, 08:46 PM

When we talk about going to a nudist park, my wife's response has always been "I don't want to see men naked, that's just not a pretty sight". So then I just started slipping the nudist parks in. We'd be talking about going somewhere, just the two of us and I'll say a nudist park. She'd just laugh and say maybe, or yeah right. So last night, I just asked her seriously, about going to a park with me and she said it was 50/50. Not the "yes, let's go right now" I was hoping for, but at least it wasn't an "absolutely not".
I hope this summer will bring new things for us.

Lord Drakkus · #2 01-11-2009, 09:42 PM

If she's already at the 50/50 point, then in another few months, you might be able to tell her that you have decided you are going to a nudist park, and she'd be welcome to come along. If she's really at that point, then knowing that you're going with her or without may well be all the motivation she really needs.

Than again, I do not know your relationship with your wife, so that may be the wrong way to go about it. Just go with your gut, I'm only trying to plant the idea in your head. Whether or not you should let it grow is purely up to you.

Naturist4Ever · #3 01-12-2009, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike2Nude

When we talk about going to a nudist park, my wife's response has always been "I don't want to see men naked, that's just not a pretty sight". So then I just started slipping the nudist parks in. We'd be talking about going somewhere, just the two of us and I'll say a nudist park.

A thought:

a) make sure that you are listening to her as much as you want her to listen to you, and put your partner first, not yourself....

b) earlier you also wrote "My BIL told me more about this site" - so maybe things can work from 2 sides??

c) "the ugly white fat naked man syndrome" (now you know why naked men rarely feature in art): maybe you should start looking at places that are more quiet, with fewer people around, maybe out of season, or on a weekday out of a weekend. Team-up with your FIL. In Europe things like this would be easy, but you probably have to be more creative than wearing someone down, or (quote) "I've yet to convince/bribe/trick/threaten my wife". It might be meant funny but could not work out so well

Good luck

1Ace · #4 01-13-2009, 12:32 PM

Most places are clothing optional so take your time with her, she can go at her own pace and she might enjoy herself when she is ready.

My wife now enjoys the resorts we go to now...

Nudeinbama · #5 01-13-2009, 12:44 PM

As others have posted, wearing her down is likely to push her away. I know this all too well.

She'll only come to be comfortable with being nude around others, or alone in her own time, not nessecarily yours. Or she may never be comfortable with it at all.

This too, you have to face. Good luck.
nudeinbama

garbo · #6 01-13-2009, 01:51 PM

All good advice. I have always thought that going to a nudist venue is all about yourself, not whom or what you expect to see. It's about personal comfort and satisfaction.

Mike2Nude · #7 01-13-2009, 07:07 PM

"Wearing her down" was probably a bad choice of words, but I make light of most situations, so I went with that phrase. She actually is comfortable being nude around me, the kids and home, just not as comfortable as I am. If she didn't really want to go, or after going decides she really doesn't like it, believe me, she's not shy about what she thinks.

Centauri4 · #8 01-13-2009, 07:48 PM

When you go:
The clincher is to PROMISE if your partner does not find anything enjoyable about the experience even though you feel confident about it, that the two of you will leave and allow it to "simmer" in the other person's brain for awhile.

I promised this to my wife and said, "You know we have not been doing anything else 'social' to make friends. We haven't joined any other clubs. We don't take in shows with couples from our offices, and we don't throw parties of our own." (or something close to this) And my further promise was that I knew there would be some things she would like and, I knew we would meet people I had chatted with online or exchanged e-mails with and, I also knew there were fun things to do that could be participated in IF we decided to or that could be adapted to our personal wishes (such as laying in the sun and NOT mingling right away if that's what she wanted).

After you go:
Social nudity can be a highly subjective experience and for whatever part of it that is "different" from the new person's background the brain needs time to process and assimilate that experience. It truly is like anything else I remember trying for the first time where unless it was totally cool (which nudism was for ME), a person may still not be clear on what parts they liked and why, or what parts they did not like.

What happened for us one time was:
My wife decidely did not like a portion of our experience when the music was too loud at a "family" dance and, in one instance, when another member bent away from her in a rather inebriated and slightly gymanstic display which my nudist newbie wife described as "burning an unpleasant image into her mind". I do not blame her for this even though it did not bother me and I will not judge her for having this opinion because she is entitled, right? The incident made my wife uncomfortable because it was an unfamiliar situation and (rather) not in line with the expectations of nudist behavior I had set for her WELL in advance.

I think we enjoyed our visit regardless of the few seconds of less desirable time and I hope we will be going back again and again to witness better examples of more appropriate behavior.

So the old saying goes, "Try...":
"..anything once."
"...it twice to see if you like it."
"....and three times to be sure."
(then you have a well informed opinion)

~