How to talk to your wife

[redlevin908]

This subject has been covered a zillion time - I know. But, there is always the new guy like me that needs a strategy for introducing my wife to naturism.

We have been to nude beaches in the past (before kids) and she is comfortable with nudity around the house (e.g, she doesn't care if the kids see her coming out of the shower).

However, I have trouble bringing up the subject of going to a club or resort. I don't know how she would take it. I know that after 25 years together I should be able to talk to the woman I love about anything, but I can't seem to do it.

I am thinking of organizing a weekend away for us. I was thinking of a clothing-optional B&B or something in Palm Springs or Miami or somewhere. It would only be for a weekend since the kids have school and they can't be trusted to do their homework without us around.

My concern is that I don't want to ruin a weekend like this by being too bold and springing something on her, but don't want to raise her anxiety by talking about it in advance.

Any ideas?

[comicsfan2001]

There was a time many years ago when my wife, and, for that matter, I were very comfortable visiting clothing optional beaches, but never dreamed of visiting or participating in a club or resort. Now, we are both on the board of our local club. So, how did we make the transition?

During the summer we very much enjoyed the beach and the ocean, while being nude. When Fall came, we really missed that feeling, and my wife, especially, hated having to wear a bathing suit at our local pool. I sought out a club that had rented an indoor pool. We went there only to enjoy the pool while nude, never socializing.

As the months went by, we found other clubs and resorts that had indoor pools, began meeting some of the warmest, friendliest people we'd ever come in contact with, and began socializing.

So, my suggestion is that you search for a club with an indoor pool, or a non landed club that is holding an indoor winter swim. Then, remind your wife how much you both enjoyed the beach, and tell her you really miss that experience and wish you could swim nude in the winter. Then, if she responds to this, suggest one of the indoor swims.

Hope this helps,

Comicsfan

[nudepartime]

The first time my wife went nude in a social setting was in Key West at Marreros Guest Mansion. It is a beautiful B&B that has a C/O pool area. The thought that she did not have to be nude helped her alot. We spoke about it before we left and once we arrived there she had the option of nude or textile. When we travel she still perfers the C/O choice so she will also have a choice. The C/O seems to work out for both of us.

[redlevin908]

Originally Posted by nudepartime

It is a beautiful B&B that has a C/O pool area. The thought that she did not have to be nude helped her alot.

I think this is going to be the approach for me. We don't have much time to ourselves with kids at home still, so I'd like to try for us to schedule a weekend (or even a day) away 2 or 3 times a year. Heck, I'd even settle for dinner at a restaurant once in a while. If we can get away for the weekend, I'd like to find a nice place with a clothing-optional area. If anyone knows some nice places, I'd be interested. I would definitely want someplace that was not family oriented (we are trying to get away from kids after all), but also not adult-oriented (because I do not want to promote the impression that nudity=sex).

I was thinking of Terra Cotta Inn (I've seen some of their ads / blog).

Does anyone know of more places - low key, romantic, C/O, perhaps on the east coast?

[DenitaLC]

Terra Cotta (IMO) would be a great place for you to take her. She can just go topless if she wishes and TC get lots of first time c/o vacationers. You can't go wrong with the weather in Palm Springs either!

Good luck!

[spafan83]

Sounds like my problem. Wife happy on beaches, but when I found a naturist swim near home the idea was rejected in case she met someone she knew. The argument that they would also be nude didn't wash. Eventually found one a bit further away which we visited fairly often. Unfortunately it closed down (not lack of support, but to redevelop the whole sports centre) but anaother was started nearer to home. This was ok for a while. But then on one visit the life guard on duty was someone my wife knew. After that she became very reluctant with various excuses. Still looking for another to try again.

[nakedstudent]

Originally Posted by redlevin908

This subject has been covered a zillion time - I know. But, there is always the new guy like me that needs a strategy for introducing my wife to naturism.

We have been to nude beaches in the past (before kids) and she is comfortable with nudity around the house (e.g, she doesn't care if the kids see her coming out of the shower).

However, I have trouble bringing up the subject of going to a club or resort. I don't know how she would take it. I know that after 25 years together I should be able to talk to the woman I love about anything, but I can't seem to do it.

I am thinking of organizing a weekend away for us. I was thinking of a clothing-optional B&B or something in Palm Springs or Miami or somewhere. It would only be for a weekend since the kids have school and they can't be trusted to do their homework without us around.

My concern is that I don't want to ruin a weekend like this by being too bold and springing something on her, but don't want to raise her anxiety by talking about it in advance.

Any ideas?

When I was with my last girlfriend and thinking about talking to her in the future about nudism (we were only together for 2 months), I stumbled upon a letter for reluctant spouses.

Sadly, I forget where I found it.

I'm sure a simple google would find it though.

Best of luck... If you find a way to keep the simple pleasure of a shower in her mind, you will be just fine.

The other way of thinking is that a good weekend might put her in a mood that is more accepting (if that makes any sense at all).

I think it has to be done though. There's no way of avoiding such conversations when you find so much joy in simple nudity.

[Yasehtor]

http://www.travelites.info/brochure.html

You may want to check out this link to the Travelites site.

[NudonyII]

Originally Posted by redlevin908

However, I have trouble bringing up the subject of going to a club or resort. I don't know how she would take it. I know that after 25 years together I should be able to talk to the woman I love about anything, but I can't seem to do it.

My concern is that I don't want to ruin a weekend like this by being too bold and springing something on her, but don't want to raise her anxiety by talking about it in advance.

Any ideas?

Bringing up nudism to a spouse can indeed be an arduous task. Because even if your spouse is frequently nude at home, even around family members, doesn't mean she'll be receptive to the idea of possibly being nude in an open environment surrounded by nude people.

What worked for me was proposing a day trip, off season, during a weekday to limit interaction to a level she would be comfortable with. As well as an agreed upon "clause" to wear as little or as much as she saw fit; and leaving at any point if she felt uncomfortable. So I would suggest a "trial run" before going for a full weekend stay.

But I think you will have to discuss it first. "Springing" it on her could result in a fierce backlash; I've seen it happen. Have a sit down chat, with a resort brochure on hand and the Travelites brochure also handy. Be ready to discuss terms and conditions; and be flexible. Assure her that her choice to just be topfree or sarong-clad will be at her discretion.

Once she is there - and hopefully you will get there, be very attentive to her reactions and body language. If she becomes agitated or nervous, just walk off to a less crowded area. At our very first visit, my wife was visibly nervous when she saw nude people by the pool, and more particularily when a nude man approached us, so we walked to the other side of the resort, out of sight; and after a few minutes of walking around and hesitantly loosening her sarong, it eventually ended up coming off. She put it back on as we re-entered the main area and for the rest of the day; but she had been nude long enough to find some level of comfort with it. Upon our next visit, which was a weekend stay, she was ready; after spending Friday night, and walking around in her sarong for a bit Saturday morning, we got into a game of basketball, at which point she decided to try playing nude - for a bit. And "for a bit" turned into the whole entire game. After that she also decided that she definetely wanted to get in the pool and hottub, and I was more than happy to take her sarong back to the car. She was still a bit reluctant to openly walk around people nude, but at least she enjoyed swimming and hiking sans clothes. It would take another two or three trips before she got to the point where she would leave her clothes in the car, stay completely nude and socialize with other nudists without any trace of being self-conscious. It was a fairly gradual process.

But that's my scenario, and it's a bit different for everyone. One man I met took his wife to a packed nude resort for the first time; and she went completely nude right away, smack in the middle of the crowd, as if she had been a nudist her entire life. When I talked to her later that day, however, it became quite clear that her body-acceptance level was very high; I'm pretty sure that's what made the difference. So for some people, one trip does it; for others, several or even many, many trips. You just have to be aware, flexible and attentive. And perhaps above all, patient.

[klprcl80]

Having a partner in life that is accepting and willing to participate in the other's interests helps, being open and honest. All good things come with time and we are both very happy to have alot of the same interests.