HELP!

Kristin · #1 10-29-2002, 06:39 PM

I never thought I'd be posting in New Naturists. I bet most of the rest of you never thought that either. Well, after being at least semi-naturist for all of my 14 years, here's why I'm new: I'm new to all the problems. I've been lucky I'm told, that I've been raised clothing-optional since birth and that I have friends that couldn't care less what or how much I'm wearing.

It's only now that it's starting to sink in that I'm different. Up until now, the fact that I could have some of my friends over and keep my clothes off was enough. I still can. It's not that I have any new problems, I just have a slew of old problems that I didn't realize until now.

Teenagers are always looking for a sense of identity. I have that. I'm a naturist soccer player who loves hanging out with her friends and watching football (the American kind) with her father. I'm outgoing and love making friends. Recently I've started getting into the almost exhibitionist side of things, although just streaking for now.

So there's my identity. The problem is, there's a reason I put naturist first. That's the most important to me. Which means that whenever I'm wearing clothes in school, I'm not being myself. I have to hide the biggest part of myself, both literally and figuratively, in order to get through school, which is the majority of my waking hours counting soccer practice.

Then there's boyfriends. Me and my friends are freshmen in high school. Some of them have started the dating game, others are still in the crush stage. I can't join in. I have two choices if I want a boyfriend. 1) I don't tell him and play the hiding my identity game like I talked about before, or 2) I tell a hormone-charged teenage boy that I enjoy running around buck naked, which will enter his ears as "Naked...must have sex now." In other words, either I delve deeper into the hell that wearing clothes has become (for reasons other than a slight discomfort) or I stand a pretty good chance of losing my virginity well before I want to. Thus the choice is simple, I'm single till the hormones wear off.

I need help. I'm new to all the problems that naturism can cause.

Kristin · #2 10-29-2002, 06:39 PM

I never thought I'd be posting in New Naturists. I bet most of the rest of you never thought that either. Well, after being at least semi-naturist for all of my 14 years, here's why I'm new: I'm new to all the problems. I've been lucky I'm told, that I've been raised clothing-optional since birth and that I have friends that couldn't care less what or how much I'm wearing.

It's only now that it's starting to sink in that I'm different. Up until now, the fact that I could have some of my friends over and keep my clothes off was enough. I still can. It's not that I have any new problems, I just have a slew of old problems that I didn't realize until now.

Teenagers are always looking for a sense of identity. I have that. I'm a naturist soccer player who loves hanging out with her friends and watching football (the American kind) with her father. I'm outgoing and love making friends. Recently I've started getting into the almost exhibitionist side of things, although just streaking for now.

So there's my identity. The problem is, there's a reason I put naturist first. That's the most important to me. Which means that whenever I'm wearing clothes in school, I'm not being myself. I have to hide the biggest part of myself, both literally and figuratively, in order to get through school, which is the majority of my waking hours counting soccer practice.

Then there's boyfriends. Me and my friends are freshmen in high school. Some of them have started the dating game, others are still in the crush stage. I can't join in. I have two choices if I want a boyfriend. 1) I don't tell him and play the hiding my identity game like I talked about before, or 2) I tell a hormone-charged teenage boy that I enjoy running around buck naked, which will enter his ears as "Naked...must have sex now." In other words, either I delve deeper into the hell that wearing clothes has become (for reasons other than a slight discomfort) or I stand a pretty good chance of losing my virginity well before I want to. Thus the choice is simple, I'm single till the hormones wear off.

I need help. I'm new to all the problems that naturism can cause.

Trailscout · #3 10-30-2002, 04:11 AM

Kristin,
This is primarily a dating issue, which is somewhat affected by your nudism.

Teen boys and girls both need help in dealing with these new very strong feelings of attraction for the opposite sex.

I can still remember my high school days quite well and I know that girls under 16 or so who went out on unchaperoned dates, particularly with older boys, often lost their virginity. Wearing clothes will not provide you much additional protection when you are alone with the wrong kind of boy and there is no adult on the scene to help you escape.

I started dating at 17. Girls at that age were getting pretty good at saying no to unwanted sex. Some of them even knew a little martial arts!

Does your family take you to any nudist resorts? Are there any cute guys your age there?
Nudist teens don't lose their interest in sex, but they are used to seeing others nude and the nudist resorts tend to chaperone their young people so you are not alone somewhere having sex.

I did go on a lot of group activities when I was your age instead of solo dating and I don't feel like I missed out on a thing!

I was a pretty good teen guy, but I am glad that I was not ever in a situation where I was tempted beyond my power to resist.

Dude in Nor Cal · #4 10-30-2002, 08:55 AM

Kristen-

I know identity is important, but who you are- the essence of your being- is not dependent on whether or not you are wearing clothes. Yes, you do have to be clothed at school, but if your nudism is the only thing you have to hide at school you should consider yourself fortunate. I don't think there is a high school anywhere that allows nudity, so the only alternative is home schooling.

It is not essential that everyone know who you are, or who you want to be. You have friends who know you, your family accepts you. You're not being false to yourself by wearing clothes at school- you're following a law.

As far as boys go, we do tend to be hornballs. It is likely they wouldn't understand that just because you're naked doesn't mean you want to jump thier bones. Most guys will probably come around to the idea of seeing their girlfriend naked in a nonsexual sense if you start somewhere like a beach or at home (although it would be pretty awkward for a guy to see you naked while your parents are hanging around... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img] but much safer that way). We're not completely bad, after all.

Best of luck! I hope and expect everything will work out for you.

Frank R · #5 10-30-2002, 02:27 PM

Kristin,
You are correct in that I was quite surprised to see your post here. However, I think with your level of maturity and intelligence, you will be quite able to resolve any problems that do arise. I just read an article that said about 1/3 of teenagers having sex are doing it in a bedroom of their parents house during evening hours so even having a boyfriend over to your house is not necessarily a safeguard it appears. Your parents are probably your best source of advice if problems do arise. At this point, I would say simply follow your own best judgement guided by your experience. Best of luck and please let us know how you come out. I loved following your experience in "How not to tell a friend".

**Bob S.** · #6 10-30-2002, 06:42 PM

Kristin, you said that:
"Teenagers are always looking for a sense of identity. I have that. I'm a naturist soccer player who loves hanging out with her friends and watching football (the American kind) with her father.
I'm outgoing and love making friends. Recently I've started getting into the almost exhibitionist side of things, although just streaking for now."

Really Kristin, I believe that you are more than just those descriptors. You are also a very smart teenager with some street smarts. What you are describing are your pasttimes, not your essence. Not truly who you are.

Boys and girls are basically the same when they are born through about the age of 3. After that, social roles come into play. Then puberty hits and suddenly, it is assumed that everybody is different. Suddenly, boys and girls become mysterious to each other. I never really went through that phase as I have always had best friends that were girls. They were no more strange than the boys my age.

Of course, I never had the nudist issue come up, nor did I date in high school. My best friends were all I needed.

Now as I said, you have street smarts. You know which boys are mature enough to hear about your lifestyle and not immediately think about the pre-date drug store purchase. Try and only go out with those guys. And also, it is not necessary to spill your whole life story on the first date. Not telling someone about a part of your life, no matter how major, especially if it as "controversial" as this one, is not lying about yourself, it is getting to know him better.

And you also know how to talk about going naked in a subtle way. Important, trust yourself and your judgement. That is one thing that a lot of teens, and even some adults, are still lacking. You know yourself inside and out. No one else does.

Bob S.

**Bob S.** · #7 10-30-2002, 06:47 PM

One more thing.

I love soccer, either watching it or playing it. I played for a neighborhood team when I was much younger for about 5-6 years (3 seasons per year). My sister played from about the age of 6 through college.

Just wondering, what position do you play? Just for school or another league? I was defender, my sister was goalie. And FYI, Steve Jolly from the MLS NY/NJ Metrostars went to my high school and graduated either in my class or the year ahead of me. I can't remember.

Bob S.

Yooper · #8 10-31-2002, 07:21 AM

Kristin,

If you wait for the hormones to go down you will wait for a long time. I am 52 and enjoy seeing my wife nude. I can be arroused just by the sight of her even when I am fully clothed. I can offer you this. When I was college age, I participated in nude activities with my then girlfriend. When nude for purposes other than sex, we could enjoy ourselves and not have a problem stepping over the line. So, it is attitude that is most important. If you meet a guy that you can trust to treat you with respect and know that sexual relations are not what you are looking for, you should still be able to enjoy nude activities without too much worry.

CT · #9 11-01-2002, 01:20 PM

Hi there Kristin

I'm 22 and a twin, I'm RT's (Robin)twin bro Casey. Rob and I grew up in the naturist lifestyle and enjoy it, I would not change lifestyles for any reason. I have met so many awesome people my age in the lifestyle, both male and female.

I do have non naturist friends and they respect my lifestyle and have even come to a few naturist events, outings with us and some have enjoyed the experience. One mate (Matt) has been to the local nude beach with my bro Robin while I was in the UK and we thing he is a convert, we don't push our lifestyle onto anyone but we invite them to either the local nude beach or a youth naturist event and if they say no, we respect that.

I guess what I'm trying to say is if your mates don't respect you and your lifestyle, are they true mates (buddys, friends).

I know it's hard at your age as I was that age not so long ago and had to decide do I want to tell my high school mates what we do on the weekends in summer. Rob & I decided to be honest up front and where glad we made that decission.

CT (Casey Turnbull), from down under in Aussieville, Go the Wallabies !

Bartamus · #10 11-01-2002, 05:07 PM

Welcome to the forum Casey. It's about time we
heard from Robin's RT's other half!