joke: The Pastor

Freedom4me2 · #1 04-26-2004, 08:16 AM

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners.

At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but
no answer came his repeated knocks at the door.

Therefore, he took out a card and wrote... "Revelation 3:20"
on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he
found that his card had been returned.

Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of
laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."

Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for
I was naked."

Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are!

"A cheerful heart is good medicine"

Freedom4me2 · #2 04-26-2004, 08:16 AM

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners.

At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but
no answer came his repeated knocks at the door.

Therefore, he took out a card and wrote... "Revelation 3:20"
on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he
found that his card had been returned.

Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of
laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."

Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for
I was naked."

Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are!

"A cheerful heart is good medicine"

hw · #3 04-26-2004, 09:40 AM

Great Joke Freedom! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
(taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)

Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of her own. They like other people's.

A grandfather is a man grandmother.

Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us.

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also Why we shouldn't step on "cracks."

They don't say, "Hurry up."

Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandparents don't have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like "why isn't God married?" and "How come dogs chase cats?".

When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.

They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when we've acted bad.

A 6 YEAR OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED. ''OH,'' HE SAID, ''SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN WE'RE DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE AIRPORT.'' [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

#4 04-26-2004, 03:10 PM

True Life accounts of Stupidity:

Will the real dummy please stand up?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual leadership." He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

----------------------

And what was plan B?

An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

---------------------

And these nitwits are teaching our children?

A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under his elementary school's drug policy--for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump higher." A student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for giving a classmate a coughdrop. School principal Forest Mann reiterated the school's "zero-tolerance" policy---not to be confused with the "zero-intelligence" policy.

-----------------------

Some days, it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the straps.

Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home--a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system."

Jochanaan · #5 04-26-2004, 11:17 PM

quote:
Originally posted by hw:
[qb] Grandmothers...wear glasses and funny underwear. [/qb]

Unless her name is hw? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

NoodJuggler · #6 04-27-2004, 10:53 AM

quote:
Originally posted by Jochanaan:
[qb]
quote:
Originally posted by hw:
[qb] Grandmothers...wear glasses and funny underwear. [/qb]
Unless her name is hw? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] [/qb]

Then they just wear funny underwear.. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] Cheers...NoodJuggler.