You know you're a Redneck when.....

[hw]

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter

You burn your yard rather than mow it

You think the Nutcracker is something you do off the high dive

The Salvation Army declines your mattress

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph

You come back from the dump with more than you took

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table

You think a subdivision is part of a math problem

Your kids take the siphon hose to show and tell

You have a used rag for a gas cap

Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean

You can spit without opening your mouth

You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it

You have a complete set of salad bowls, and they all say Cool Whip on the side

The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart

Your working tv is sitting on top of your non-working tv

You've used your ironing board as a buffet table

You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart

Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvement

You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

[hw]

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter

You burn your yard rather than mow it

You think the Nutcracker is something you do off the high dive

The Salvation Army declines your mattress

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph

You come back from the dump with more than you took

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table

You think a subdivision is part of a math problem

Your kids take the siphon hose to show and tell

You have a used rag for a gas cap

Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean

You can spit without opening your mouth

You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it

You have a complete set of salad bowls, and they all say Cool Whip on the side

The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart

Your working tv is sitting on top of your non-working tv

You've used your ironing board as a buffet table

You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart

Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvement

You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

[Trailscout]

Where I used to live, yes I burned my yard! It keeps the ticks and snakes under control.

Where I come from, truck tires are frequently used to make raised beds for flowers.

We would white-wash tree trunks for beauty. Some of us decorate the trees in our front yards by hanging glass bottles of various colors from the branches.

Lots of folks put their washing machines out on the front porch. It is a little vain, but some are right proud of a new washer and feel that it decorates the porch to bring out such a pretty white machine for all to see.

I once had a house that came with four wheels. The air conditioning consisted of an elm tree overhead and all windows open and a box fan running by the door.

Our community pool was made by damming up the creek with large rocks.

When I caught a possum in my chicken coop, the neighbors decided to bake him in a big dish, surrounding him with sweet potatoes. When I asked why, they said, "them taters was to sop up all the grease".

I prefer the taste of chicken, so I took good care of my small flock. But as long as a chicken lays eggs, she is worth more to me alive than in the frying pan. I used to sell my excess eggs at work and on the side of the road on Saturday mornings.

I like to visit areas where people sit on their front porch to talk and see who is driving by. On a summer evening it is too hot to go back in the house if you don't have an air conditioner and it used to be a luxury to own one.

Now I have a fancy house with city water and everyday I keep wishing I could go back to the country.

Am I a Redneck?

[hw]

Trailscout....you're not a redneck. You live in the city now, right? I know the feeling of wanting to go back home, to the good old days... unfortunatly things are just so different now. This is just off topic fun stuff.. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] ....so let's have some fun with it..... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

[Trailscout]

Hey HW!
Your post put a smile on my face and helped remind me of all the fun I used to have.
Who knows, I may go back to the deep woods yet!
Thanks for the humor!

Okay, I will share my favorite quote from Jeff Foxworthy, "You might be a redneck if....
You take a beer to a job interview"

[hw]

You are welcome, Trailscout..check your PM's. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

[Kenny G]

Hey HW, me thinks one of my club members qualifies, the other day he was telling me about trimming branches in his back yard.............WITH HIS .22 ! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]

[hw]

Kenny G....either that guy is a red neck, or he's heard my voices [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]

[chuckie30]

And did you ever hear a red neck say:" we cant feed that to the dogs."?

[missouriboy]

quote:

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Originally posted by Trailscout:
[qb]Where I used to live, I once had a house that came with four wheels.[/qb]

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I got it! I got it! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif[/img]

ARKANSAS, right? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif[/img]

Where all the cars are on blocks, and the houses are on wheels! [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]