Question for anyone about ediquite about looking

Naked In Florida · #1 07-09-2002, 03:12 AM

I have been wondering and I apoligize for my bad spelling in the topic, but whats apporpiate for looking at someone when at a resort or a beach. Is a quick glance ok or 2 seconds. Is 5 seconds to long, cause I like to look but I dont want to be accused of staring and being perverted which I am neither of. I know staring is wrong but how can you differ from staring and looking?

Naked In Florida · #2 07-09-2002, 03:12 AM

I have been wondering and I apoligize for my bad spelling in the topic, but whats apporpiate for looking at someone when at a resort or a beach. Is a quick glance ok or 2 seconds. Is 5 seconds to long, cause I like to look but I dont want to be accused of staring and being perverted which I am neither of. I know staring is wrong but how can you differ from staring and looking?

Bartamus · #3 07-09-2002, 04:25 AM

Luckyheart: What works for me is the
non-chalant look. In other words..surveying
the entire scene to make it seem like you're
not focused on one person.

David77 · #4 07-09-2002, 04:50 AM

LH,
Wow! That's a good question! It can be asked, "What is the difference between looking and staring"?. When we stare we are looking, but when we are looking we are not necessarily staring. When we are staring we have a great fixation (an intense fixed gaze) on what we are looking at, and when we are "merely looking" we are viewing the sights in our visual field more casually. I don't think that there is any time limit for looking at the various sights in front of us, but if we are making someone uncomfortable and they interpret our looking as staring, then we should have the courtesy to divert our sight elsewhere. People who are nude, I have found, sometimes have more sensitivity to people merely looking at the view in front of them, so we should be aware of the possibility that they may think that we are staring. I don't think that we should mentally time ourselves and then put imaginary blinders on. Let us continue to enjoy our wholesome, innocent sight, but not unwittingly make someone uncomfortable.

Gary Naturist · #5 07-09-2002, 12:50 PM

Looking vs staring? Staring becomes more of a problem the closer you get to a person. Think about how uncomfortable it is when someone sitting across from you in a bus stares straight at you and no one else.

The worst example of staring is the guy at a c/o beach who positions himself just below the feet of a woman lying on her back.

So, staring from far away is not a problem, but staring close up is.

Gary

jerrykc · #6 07-09-2002, 03:36 PM

Hello,
When I am with other nudists I always treat others the same as I do when they have clothes on. I never look a person over when they have clothes on and I don't look them over when they are nude. I try to always keep eye contact and talk to another persons face.I can see very well that they are nude but I do not detail parts of their body with my eyes.
My best advise is to treat other people as you would if they were wearing clothes.Staring at others is never polite with or without.

Naked Bob 2 · #7 07-10-2002, 02:34 AM

I think it has already been stated but my opinion is that you should treat them the way you treat people with clothes on. Hey everyone looks a little, that's okay. Just don't stare at them. It is rude even if they have clothes on. It's just that you treat their other areas the same way you would treat their face or hands or whatever. No big deal, just another a body part.

David77 · #8 07-10-2002, 05:40 AM

JerryKC,
Your statement above, about eye contact when talking with someone, reminded me of the post made here a number of months ago by a woman who had a good sense of humor. She made her point of argument, by saying that she hopes that when men talk to her, that they do not talk to her breasts but talk to her eyes. You would qualify to talk to her.

I think your statement about eye contact is a very good one.

**Bob S.** · #9 07-10-2002, 05:41 AM

The difference between staring and looking is that looking at someone usually will not result in their feeling uneasy. Staring at someone can lead to that uneasy feeling.

There is no time reference, it is the intention combined with the reaction.

Bob S.

#10 07-14-2002, 05:05 AM

It's difficult to know what is correct. Let me relate something that happened to me.

I was at a nudist club where I was a member. I was sitting by the pool just looking down at the ground. A quick movement on my left caused me to look that way. It was a woman who had shook her towel in the air--for what reason I don't know. She was on her knees with her butt staring me in the face when I looked up. As I looked up because of the movement that had caught my eye, she looked at me. Apparently, she thought I was staring at her butt. Personally, butts do nothing for me. I've often wondered if she didn't do that on purpose to get my attention.

Later, I saw her talking to someone and looking at me at the same time. I'm sure she was telling him that I had been staring at her butt which I wasn't. However, a quick movement catching my eye, eye contact with her at that moment, and there's a misunderstanding of why I was looking.

Just be careful. Bart has the right idea. It's the way I do it. A casual surveying of the whole scene without actually appearing to focus on anyone. I either look at the ground or floor, depending on where I am, or I keep my eyes moving and don't focus on anyone for more than an instant. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif[/img]