Peoples Opinion Please!!

steevo · #1 02-27-2003, 03:19 PM

I have a situation where my neice and her husband live across the street from us. Now my neice lived here first, I just moved in because I love her so. Having no children myself, I think the world of my neice and would not want to do anything to wrack our very close relationship.
But I am the type of person to have to have everything out in the open. My wife on the other hand, beleives that this part of our lives is purely privet.
I have been wanting to go over alone and have a talk with my neice, and ask her not to tell my wife that we talked. As I write it, it sounds dishonest. but for some deep reason I WANT my neice to do the real me. And I know she will handle it well. Is this all unnessisary?
Steevo Here [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif[/img]

steevo · #2 02-27-2003, 03:19 PM

I have a situation where my neice and her husband live across the street from us. Now my neice lived here first, I just moved in because I love her so. Having no children myself, I think the world of my neice and would not want to do anything to wrack our very close relationship.
But I am the type of person to have to have everything out in the open. My wife on the other hand, beleives that this part of our lives is purely privet.
I have been wanting to go over alone and have a talk with my neice, and ask her not to tell my wife that we talked. As I write it, it sounds dishonest. but for some deep reason I WANT my neice to do the real me. And I know she will handle it well. Is this all unnessisary?
Steevo Here [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif[/img]

**FireProf** · #3 02-27-2003, 04:40 PM

If you're asking that you should go over and tell your niece and her husband that you a both nudists and your wife wants it kept a secret...my answer would be to side with your wife's wishes.

If they live across the street, your secret will come out soon enough without you doing something your wife would rather you didn't. I think this could backfire and you'll loose you nudist partner.

Nudism between partners where one is open and the other isn't, like in our relationship is better left to side with the more private, reluctant partner. Your wife trusts you to keep something she enjoys doing with you private and keep it between just you two. I'd honor her wishes.

Just my feeling. [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif[/img]

**EricNY** · #4 02-27-2003, 05:23 PM

Amen..

Never never never never never have secrets from your spouse. That is the beginning of the end, once you start you cant stop. If she finds out she will have a hard time trusting you in the furure.

I also agree with fireProf she will find out eventually,on her own.

Nude in the North · #5 02-27-2003, 06:08 PM

I tend to agree with the above. She's bound to find out soon enough. Breaking confidence with your wife to "Get it out in the open" won't do any good.
Be true to your wife first.
Your niece will find out soon enough.

Steve

steevo · #6 02-28-2003, 01:21 AM

Thanks everyone,
I know you are all right on the money. I will definatly charish my wife's trust. Because I had lost it once before and I nknow what you'er saying is true.
I guess the next question is, why do I have this very strong need to tell some one "I AM A NATURIST"? I love to share thimgs I enjoy so much. Plus, I think it is because I hear so many here say that their family knows all about their nudist life style.
Steevo Here

**EricNY** · #7 02-28-2003, 03:52 AM

Part of it might possibly be, that you feel the need to have your lifestyle choice validated by those that mean something to you.

Not necessary a bad thing, we all deep down, need to be accepted for our choices by freinds and family.

I know that I would feel better if 100% of my circle would give me the thumbs up for the way I decided to raise my family.

Caution though, it may not end up the way we picture it. We still, however need to do what we feel is right for us. Just trust yourself, know that your choices are right for you.

greensunshine · #8 02-28-2003, 11:46 AM

Here is a better idea...if you have to tell someone...consider us that someone...that way the trust you have regained with your wife won't be violated...and you will have the satisfaction of being able to disclose your being a nudist with someone else in your life [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] We being that someone [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img]

Greensunshine [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif[/img]

Christian Bare · #9 03-03-2003, 04:33 AM

Speaking from experience...

First, I agree with all that you need to honor your wife's wishes, for all the reasons in a marriage that you shouldn't break confidence.

Second, and I dare to say more importantly, You just don't need to tell your niece. If it were something in your life that were odd, or wrong, or something you wanted to change I could see needing to confide in others. But that's what it will seem like to your niece.

On the other hand, because your recreation or life style is not wrong, when it is discovered naturally there is much better acceptance by others because they realize that it's no big secret, you just didn't find it important to share.

Now, I don't run and tell all anymore, but I also make sure that I take advantage of situations to allow the subject to come up.

i.e. A friend starts talking lustful about a woman he sees (doesn't happen much now that most know I'm a minister, but...). I confront the situation in a friendly way, and may move onto a conversation of body acceptance.

i.e. When going to a non-nudist friends house for a swin or hot tub, I directly ask if skinny dipping is ok. (This is more common than we think). If they are offended, it's easily joked off or opened to a good conversation about soggy swimsuits...

i.e. When a friend talks about a weight problem I bring body acceptance up and in a descent way, may pull in nudism storys.

All this is not to trick another person, but to reveal my feelings in a manner that is acceptable to those I may think to be offended.

My 2 cents...

steevo · #10 03-03-2003, 05:26 AM

THANK YOU ALL,
I can clearly understand what each of you are saying. And couldn't agree more Thanks.

ercNY; I really related to what you had to say, it seemed you understood where I was coming from exactly, Thanks.
Greensunshine; I too enjoy hearing waht you had to say and it makes sense, Thanks.

Wow, that felt good to say what was on my mind, and get good sound advise from people who truly understand. Dinomite, Opp's that a BAD expression these days. COOL MAN and THANK_YOU ALL,
LOVE Steevo Here [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif[/img]