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04-02-2003, 12:54 AM
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Gold Member
CFF Chief Moderator
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: NY upstate
Gender: 
CFI Member: Yes
Posts: 2,517
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A guy joined a nudist club and when he told his mom she didn't believe him. So he sent her a picture of his top half.
A week later his grandma wanted a picture but he accidently sent the bottom half. Knowing she had bad eyesight, he didn't think much of it.
A week later his grandma wrote a letter saying, that she didn't like his haircut, because it made his nose look to big
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Promoting naturism and positive values.
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04-02-2003, 12:54 AM
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Gold Member
CFF Chief Moderator
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: NY upstate
Gender:
CFI Member: Yes
Posts: 2,517
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A guy joined a nudist club and when he told his mom she didn't believe him. So he sent her a picture of his top half.
A week later his grandma wanted a picture but he accidently sent the bottom half. Knowing she had bad eyesight, he didn't think much of it.
A week later his grandma wrote a letter saying, that she didn't like his haircut, because it made his nose look to big
__________________
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Promoting naturism and positive values.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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04-02-2003, 09:13 AM
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Gold Member
CFF Chief Moderator
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: NY upstate
Gender:
CFI Member: Yes
Posts: 2,517
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Lady calls up police department: Officer, there is a man exposing himself in the next building.
Dispatcher: OK, we'll be right over, lady.
(Five minutes later at her apartment.)
Officer: Which way, lady?
Lady: This way officer, he's still shamelessly baring himself.
Officer: Where is he, lady? I don't see no naked man.
Lady: Oh, you have to look through this telescope.
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Promoting naturism and positive values.
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04-02-2003, 11:28 AM
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An elderly lady called the police to her home about a man sunning himself nude in his back yard.
When the officer arrived she took him to her back yard and to a step ladder that was near a tall fence.
"It's so shameful what's he's doing, lying there with no clothes on!" said the lady.
"I can't see over the fence," said the officer, "so what's the problem?"
"Well," replied the lady, "you have to climb up on the ladder and use these binoculars, and then you can see him clearly!" [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
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04-02-2003, 02:24 PM
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Gold Member
CFF Chief Moderator
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: NY upstate
Gender:
CFI Member: Yes
Posts: 2,517
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Charlie had just joined the police when he was assigned to duty at a south Florida nudist resort.
That night he reported back to the precinct house.
"Well," asked the Sergeant, "how's it goin'?"
"Real good!" replied Charlie. " 'Cept'n this here badge is killin' me!"
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Promoting naturism and positive values.
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04-02-2003, 02:26 PM
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Gold Member
CFF Chief Moderator
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: NY upstate
Gender:
CFI Member: Yes
Posts: 2,517
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Top 11 Reasons To Go To Work Naked
1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your butt in here by 8:00!"
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. Inventive way to finally meet that hottie in Human Resources.
4. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
5. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
6. You want to see if it's like the dream.
7. So that-with a little help from Muzak-you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.
8. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
9. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work stoned.
10. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
11. No one steals your chair.
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Promoting naturism and positive values.
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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04-06-2003, 06:55 PM
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Gold Member
CFF Chief Moderator
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: NY upstate
Gender:
CFI Member: Yes
Posts: 2,517
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The census taker rang the doorbell and was quite surprised when the door was opened by a nude woman.
"Don't be alarmed," she said, "I'm a nudist."
Although somewhat embarrassed, the man proceeded to ask the routine questions. "How many children do you have?" he asked.
"Eighteen," The lady replied.
"Lady," he gasped, "you're not a nudist -- you just don't have time to get dressed!"
__________________
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Promoting naturism and positive values.
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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04-11-2003, 03:25 PM
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Junior Member
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 23
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30 Harsh Things To Say To A Naked Guy
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
3. Why don't we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. It's OK, we'll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no... a flash headache.
11. (giggle and point)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won't take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the early bird
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04-11-2003, 04:28 PM
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Bronze Member
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Canton, Ohio
Posts: 818
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Of course, with a name like bigbird, you never hear any of those... [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]
One hot day a man steps out of the shower and says to his wife, "Honey, it is just too hot to put on clothes today, what would the neighbors think if I mowed the lawn like this today?".
She replied,"That I married you for your money...".
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I'm a believer
I ain't no deceiver
Mountains move before my eyes.
Destiny planned out
I don't need no handout
Speculation of the wise...~Osbourne
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04-12-2003, 06:44 PM
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Junior Member
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 23
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I WAS going for the sesame street reference, but should any buxom blondes show up, we won't mention this fact.
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Naturists seem to be such comedians. Here is a special place opened by popular demand. This is where you can present iour skills as a comedian, nudist related or not. No off color jokes allowed.
