Bad day at the resort

[garbo]

Is that even possible? Solo admittance to our resort with an ANNR card is guaranteed. No hassle no fuss. Normally people are friendly, but not yesterday?? The resort was packed. The guests were obviously coupled off. Seemed like I was the only solo. Normally, with my all over tan, I am immediately accepted as a fellow nudist. Not this time. No one initiated any conversation with me... at the pool, at the lake or even the more friendly tennis courts! As a naturally friendly chap, I can say hello to anyone, but yesterday, it was if I had the plague! My greeting was actually ignored twice! Don't understand it. I thought nudists were among the friendliest people... what is going on?

[FireProf]

...what's going on? ... a couple of things, in my opinion.

First, nudists are NOT among the friendliest people. Friendly people are friendly. Taking one's clothes off does not make them friendly. There have been numerous accounts, stories, first hand experiences where nudists acted like snobs and actually more distrusting than those we meet on the street, completely clothed. Friendly people will be friendly, whether they are naked or clothed. I truly think, even more so, nudists are guarded in clothes free situations.

Second, you mentioned that the resort was packed. This leads me to believe that lots of weekend nudist types, vacation nudist types, event visiting nudists were in attendance or you just happened upon groups that are typically cliquish. Weekend nudists and vacation nudists tend to huddle into their groups of friends they meet during those times. The frequent quests, members, residents are usually the more friendly because they believe wholeheartedly in the philosophy. Weekend/vacation nudists don't always think that way and can become more guarded and suspicious and much more secretive so they don't want to share their info with anyone and responding to any conversation may lead to questions they do not want to answer.

You are certainly not alone. Single males are treated this way all the time. I was and am on occasion if I visit the club without my wife. Before she retired, I'd visit the club during the week and was treated the same until they saw me there with my wife on the weekend, then I was ... okay. It took me many visits with my wife for many of the regulars and residents to get to know that I was married and did visit alone on occasion. Even nowadays, if we haven't visited in some time and I end up going alone because my wife is busy with other things, I'm treated as though I'd never been before until someone remembers me then magically, all is well with me being there. I thought it quite hypocritical of the mantra that "nudists are the friendliest people ..."

Nudists are not special people with more accepting, friendly, non judgmental attitudes than clothed people ... nudists are just people and we all have the same hang ups our counterparts have ... we just display them without clothes.

[dakref]

I agree with Prof. Since I visit the nearest club infrequently, as a single male and on weekends, I've spent several days without anyone speaking to me. It is very obvious that this club is very cliquish as well. So, I don't push it, just go on about enjoying my visit as best I can. Can usually pick out others who might be "strangers" and speak to them sometimes.

[Agde]

This surprises me a bit. We kind of keep an eye out, at the club or at the beach for "loners" and make sure someone (usually as a couple) always says hello. It is not so much being unnaturally "friendly" as just making sure everyone feels comfortable. Especially when there are "lots of weekend nudist types, vacation nudist types, event visiting nudists", it is also part of the routine of making sure everyone is on the same page in terms of naturist etiquette, etc. It lets people know there is an established presence of protective vigilance. Whether newbies or old-timers, a friendly hello really makes a big difference to people.

[garbo]

It seems that friendliness to solos is a hit or miss situation. I have had more success being tan, but this alone seems not to be a guarantee that I will be openly welcome at the resort. Agde, maybe this indifference and sometimes intentional avoidance of solos is an American thing. Perhaps it is different in Europe???
I continue to show friendliness to others even if it is not returned.

Another observation. As previously stated, theme weekends at my resort generally pack the people in. Prof, you are undoubtedly correct, with possibly a few exceptions, it seems these guests are more cliquish and less tolerant of solos. On less crowded non-theme weekends or during the week, there are more solos and socialization is far easier.

[FireProf]

... but as I stated in my previous post and which proves my point as stated in Agde's post; they/he, Agde, happen to be friendly people and thus will say hello and making sure "everyone" feels comfortable. That doesn't come with a guarantee no matter where you live. Not ALL nudists would do what he/they do. I'm sure there are plenty cliquish and snobby people in Europe, just as there are here in the US. Much of what drives those to be snobbish and cliquish and unfriendly is "naturally" their personality.

We've been nudists for over 40 years and social nudists for almost 20 years. We've visited numerous clubs, resorts, beaches ... people are either friendly or they are not. Those that are friendly, some of them have become good friends. Some of those that were not friendly, secretive, didn't agree with your philosophies on various topics ... became even more unfriendly. Taking ones clothes off or being a nudist, naturists, doesn't automatically make one friendly and it has been proven time over time ... even on message boards, forums, chat rooms on nudist/naturist sites.

I think we'd all like to believe that nudists are the friendliest people but that's really not reality. It is one of the misconceptions that keeps the younger people away. "Grumpy ol' nudists don't want us younger nudists around ..." Been many a blog, post, story, message board response , to that effect and it certainly is proven by the way single men or solo men are treated, watched and type cast.

[Agde]

...maybe this indifference and sometimes intentional avoidance of solos is an American thing. Perhaps it is different in Europe???...

There are probably some structural differences. The FFN has formal management responsibilities at many beaches. During high-season, St Aygulf beach, for example, can have 1000 or more naturist beach-goers and hundreds of singles, so a 'hello' to everyone isn't possible, but an occasional stroll down the beach by couple FFN members with random 'hello's still sets a good tone and let's people know who to contact if there are any issues. Also, being nude at the beach is in general less of a huge deal, so being a single is just part of the general mix. At clubs, we have so many kinds of "re-composed" families now that we kind of deal with things on a case by case basis, with gender not being much of a factor, especially for multi-year card-carrying FFN or other federation members. Internet has made a quick check upon entrance quite simple. Otherwise, as FireProf notes, naturists are just regular people, so there are plenty of groups and differences in personality.

[davy]

I agree with FireProf that (1) single men are highly discriminated against, and (2) nudists are not necessarily more friendly than anyone else. Unfortunately (1) applies in way more circumstances than being at a nudist club; I could not possibly enumerate all the times I have been singled out for harassment merely because I was a male by myself.