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  • Cat Tails

    Calling in sick to work always makes me uncomfortable, no matter how
    legitimate the excuse. I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I am lying.
    On one recent occasion I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the
    truth was so damned humiliating.I simply mentioned that I had sustained a
    head injury and hoped that I would feel up to coming in the next day.I
    figured by then I could think up a whopper to explain the bandage on top of my
    head.
    The accident occurred mainly because I gave in to my wife's wishes to
    adopt a cute little kitten.Initially the acquisition was no problem.
    Then one morning, I was taking a shower after breakfast when I heard my
    wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen Honey! "The garbage disposal is
    dead again. Please come reset it. You know where the button is!" I
    protested back, Reset it yourself! But I'm scared! she persisted, What if it
    starts going and sucks me in? There was a meaningful pause and then, c'mon,
    it"ll only take a second.
    So out I came dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent
    outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as
    extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink
    to find the button. It is the last action that I remember performing. It
    struck without warning and without any respect to my circumstances
    No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into it's gnashing metal
    teeth.It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects
    she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and
    stalked me as I reached under the sink. And at the precise moment that I was
    most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys that I had unwittingly offered and
    snagged them with her needle like claws.
    I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly
    rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of the kitten hanging
    from my masculine region. Wild animals are sometimes faced with the fight or
    flight syndrome. Men, in this predicament I chose only the flight option.
    I was fleeing straight up in to the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and
    forcefully impeded my ascent.
    The impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the
    paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in life worse than finding
    oneself lying on the kitchen floor naked in front of a bunch of Been-there,
    Done-that paramedics.
    Even worse, having been fully briefed by my lovely wife on EXACTLY what
    had happened, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct
    their work. All the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter and
    not succeeding. Somehow I managed to live through it all.
    A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where
    colleagues tried to coax and explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent
    claiming it was too painful to talk about. Which it was. What's the matter?
    they all asked, Cat got your tongue?

    Ooh the irony!

  • #2
    Calling in sick to work always makes me uncomfortable, no matter how
    legitimate the excuse. I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I am lying.
    On one recent occasion I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the
    truth was so damned humiliating.I simply mentioned that I had sustained a
    head injury and hoped that I would feel up to coming in the next day.I
    figured by then I could think up a whopper to explain the bandage on top of my
    head.
    The accident occurred mainly because I gave in to my wife's wishes to
    adopt a cute little kitten.Initially the acquisition was no problem.
    Then one morning, I was taking a shower after breakfast when I heard my
    wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen Honey! "The garbage disposal is
    dead again. Please come reset it. You know where the button is!" I
    protested back, Reset it yourself! But I'm scared! she persisted, What if it
    starts going and sucks me in? There was a meaningful pause and then, c'mon,
    it"ll only take a second.
    So out I came dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent
    outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as
    extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink
    to find the button. It is the last action that I remember performing. It
    struck without warning and without any respect to my circumstances
    No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into it's gnashing metal
    teeth.It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects
    she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and
    stalked me as I reached under the sink. And at the precise moment that I was
    most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys that I had unwittingly offered and
    snagged them with her needle like claws.
    I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly
    rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of the kitten hanging
    from my masculine region. Wild animals are sometimes faced with the fight or
    flight syndrome. Men, in this predicament I chose only the flight option.
    I was fleeing straight up in to the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and
    forcefully impeded my ascent.
    The impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the
    paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in life worse than finding
    oneself lying on the kitchen floor naked in front of a bunch of Been-there,
    Done-that paramedics.
    Even worse, having been fully briefed by my lovely wife on EXACTLY what
    had happened, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct
    their work. All the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter and
    not succeeding. Somehow I managed to live through it all.
    A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where
    colleagues tried to coax and explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent
    claiming it was too painful to talk about. Which it was. What's the matter?
    they all asked, Cat got your tongue?

    Ooh the irony!

    Comment


    • #3
      Ooowwwwwwww!

      You did mention it was a tabby kitten, not a tom? [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif[/img]

      Comment


      • #4
        Wow!!!...Oh my gosh,that tale should become a classic...My sympathy ,he he, goes ,hm hm,out,ho ho,to,ha ha,you...ROTFLMAO...So Sorry!..Odb [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif[/img] [img]/infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

        Comment


        • #5
          I'm sure it wasn't at all funny to you, nor would it be to me if I had been the victim, but I thought that was hilarious! I'm sorry but I couldn't help laughing!

          Comment


          • #6
            My sympathy goes out to you. being a cat lover my self i can very well understand the antics of the feline. i have had some injuries my self as results of playing with the many cats that i have had, but
            i don't think i have every heard of a funnier story.
            stay nude and stay happy pahjo2

            Comment


            • #7
              For everyone's information, this didn't happen to me (thank goodness). But it is one of the funniest stories I've seen in a long time!
              Enjoy the nude life......and give your kittens lots of toys !!!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Well, you wrote it as though it happened to you. It certainly sounded that way.

                Comment

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