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HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

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  • HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

    HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.


    Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.


    Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.


    Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.


    Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.


    France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.


    Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.


    85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.


    Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.


    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut


    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.


    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.


    Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.


    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.


    Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.


    Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines .
    Mexico, complaining about the ignorance of its new citizens, are trying to return Mexas (formerly Texas) back to the US.

  • #2
    HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.


    Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.


    Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.


    Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.


    Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.


    France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.


    Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.


    85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.


    Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.


    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut


    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.


    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.


    Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.


    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.


    Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.


    Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines .
    Mexico, complaining about the ignorance of its new citizens, are trying to return Mexas (formerly Texas) back to the US.

    Comment


    • #3
      Too cool.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Sanslines:
        HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

        ...
        George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
        ...
        Does Jeb Bush have a son named George? Just wondering, because George W. Bush does not have a son named George.

        Take Care & Stay Bare,
        David
        Last edited by D-TX; 09-22-2007, 10:51 PM. Reason: Fixing "quotes", they didn't transition well to the new forum.

        Comment


        • #5
          quote:
          Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.



          Frankly, I think that it is difficult to get more racist than that.

          It reminds me of nazi propaganda when Hitler said that the Jews were very dangerous for the German culture.

          The Christians who pretends to be persecuted in the USA because gays can get married in Massachussetts is another good example.

          Comment


          • #6
            Eric

            It seems to me that racism is defined as the persecution of an ethnic group. This entry was posted is in the Fun and Humor section of the forum and every one of its sub-parts is a joke - and most of it pretty funny in my mind.

            I am reasonably sure that racism was not intended here at all. I firmly believe that we should all be able to laugh at our differences, providing that target of the laughter also "gets the joke" too. Don't you agree?

            Comment


            • #7
              Can't say I thought the post was very funny, either, NudePete. I agree that we should all be able to laugh at ourselves, but there seemed to be an underlying meannesss to this "humor". Clearly written by a conservative, the post slags Mexicans, the French, Massachusetts' liberals, etc - and also manages a swipe at gay marriage.

              Sanslines, are you the author, or is this from a conservative radio station or something similar?

              Comment


              • #8
                Hey Journeyman,

                No, I am not the author. This was sent to me from a friend in California and was meant as a joke. Nothing serious was meant by it. We can't take everything in life too seriously or else who would watch Jay Leno and David Letterman?

                Comment


                • #9
                  .

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Well,

                    I would say that there is a kind of jokes that are dangerous because it is either racist or homophobic or sexist.

                    I think the jokes in the first post are in denial of reality.

                    I mean civil rights are not to be laugh about when you live under the Patriot Act,

                    The situation of gays and lesbians is not to be laugh about when they have no protection in many states,

                    The situation of Mexicans immigrants is generally not funny either.

                    I mean, there is a war in Irak that makes the USA very unpopular in many parts of the World.

                    I do not think that it was very funny.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      quote:
                      Originally posted by Eric6420:

                      .........I do not think that it was very funny.


                      Some might find it funny and some might not. Such is the nature of humor. As was said above, this was posted in fun and humor section and was not to be taken seriously. Some of it might be a bit strong but as with jokes the intention was not to directly offend anyone. Some will still get offended no matter what. Some might not like Jay Leno or David Letterman's humor but then again many do as their shows are very popular in the USA. Sometimes people make statements with humor over events that they have no control. I don't think that Jay Leno or David Letterman are out to seriously offend anyone and their intention seems to be to always express with humor.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I think that humor is also a powerfull weapon.

                        Trivialisation of people can really hurt them. Just think how long homosexuals had been trivialised, there was much more than humor in thoses "jokes", there was an intent to kill an identity.

                        Pratically all French Canadians remember the day Canada has repatriate the Constitution from England in 1982.

                        René Lévesque was the premier of Quebec at the time and he was invited in Ottawa like premiers of other provinces.

                        It turns out that the prime minister and other premiers had repatriate the Canadian Constitution without any respect for René Lévesque or French Canadians in general. They were making jokes about our premier.

                        René Lesvesque said an historic comment that day, he said : "A day, they will maybe realized that this was not that funny".

                        Let me tell you that if the prime minister and others premiers had respected Quebec and French Canadians that day, the separatist movement would maybe dead since then.

                        Instead, André Boisclair is now the main leader for making Quebec a country, and the fact that he is an openly gay man is symbolic because he looks as a defender of two repressed minorities.

                        Be aware of who you ridicule, because one day, they may be stronger than you or they may hurt you in a way you do not like.

                        Humor is more serious than most people think.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          This is supposed to be fun and humour section and as such what is posted here is not to be taken seriously. Had these jokes been posted in another section of the forum, then they would most probably have been taken more seriously. These jokes are not about Canadian politics or the situation between Quebec and the other Canadian provinces. (I live close enough to the Canadian border and travel to Toronto often. I understand both sides of the issue that you mention but such a discussion is way too serious for this fun and humor section.) I don't think that you have watched Jay Leno but be forewarned that he is very popular here and can 'appear' to offend anyone when in fact he is laughing with people. Would you be offended by some of his Bush jokes? These jokes are obviously an American 'thing' and with the many difficulties that we face in America now, if we lose our sense of humor, then what do we have left? Believe it or not, but it is getting to the point that no matter what we say, we offend 'someone' and therefore everything has to be white washed to be 'politically correct'. There are also things that you might find funny that others find offensive. Do we ban those things? Do we ban everything? Do we ban nudism because some people find nudism 'offensive'? Do we ban this forum because non nudists might find it offensive? Remember, it is not always what it said but how it is said that conveys the true meaning. La vie est trop court!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Eric,

                            Lighten up!

                            Ever heard of the term 'Satire'

                            quote:
                            Originally posted by Eric6420:
                            I think that humor is also a powerfull weapon.

                            Trivialisation of people can really hurt them. Just think how long homosexuals had been trivialised, there was much more than humor in thoses "jokes", there was an intent to kill an identity.

                            Pratically all French Canadians remember the day Canada has repatriate the Constitution from England in 1982.

                            René Lévesque was the premier of Quebec at the time and he was invited in Ottawa like premiers of other provinces.

                            It turns out that the prime minister and other premiers had repatriate the Canadian Constitution without any respect for René Lévesque or French Canadians in general. They were making jokes about our premier.

                            René Lesvesque said an historic comment that day, he said : "A day, they will maybe realized that this was not that funny".

                            Let me tell you that if the prime minister and others premiers had respected Quebec and French Canadians that day, the separatist movement would maybe dead since then.

                            Instead, André Boisclair is now the main leader for making Quebec a country, and the fact that he is an openly gay man is symbolic because he looks as a defender of two repressed minorities.

                            Be aware of who you ridicule, because one day, they may be stronger than you or they may hurt you in a way you do not like.

                            Humor is more serious than most people think.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              quote:
                              Eric,

                              Lighten up!

                              Ever heard of the term 'Satire'


                              Yes, I am not against humor in general, I am just saying that humor has long been used to put down minorities.

                              And there are subjects that I would not make humor or satire about, because I think that theses subjets are too serious.

                              For example, I think that it would be totally inapropriate to make jokes about the 9/11 victims or their families.

                              Or making jokes about the soldiers in Irak would be wrong also, because I wouln'd want to be at their place.

                              Or jokes pretending that Arabs are all terrorists would be quite bad also.

                              I have nothing against humor in general, and I am not personnally angry at what I read. I just find that sometimes , so called humor is not that funny.

                              Comment

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