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More of the funny things I've come across:
Thing One:
Sign over the door at a Machining Shop "If you think OSHA is a small town in Wisconsin, you're in big trouble!"
Thing Two:
Question -- What is the difference in a sperm cell and a lawyer?
Answer -- The sperm cell has a shot at becoming a human being.
Thing Three:
Daffynition -- Impotent Loser: a guy who can't even get his hopes up.
Thing Four:
Driving her sports car erratically, a gorgeous blonde was pulled over by a state trooper.
The lawman promptly asked her to get out of the vehicle, but as she did, he caught her slyly putting a tiny object in her mouth.
"Did I just see you trying to swallow something, Miss?" the trooper barked, thinking it had been drugs.
"Yes," replied the blonde. "That was my just my birth-control pill, Officer."
"Birth-control pill?" the confused copper reiterated.
"Yeah," the blonde explained. "The minute I saw your flashing lights in the mirror; I knew I was f*@ked!"
Thing Five:
An elderly woman riding on a train was doing a crossword puzzle, but she was stumped on one clue.
Eventually the exasperated biddy turned to the commuter seated next to her.
"Young man," she asked. "what's a four-letter word ending in I-T that is found in the bottom of a birdcage and that president George W. Bush is full of?"
"Well," said the young man after some thought, "that would have to be grit."
"My goodness, you're right!" the old lady exclaimed. "Uhmm, say, do you have an eraser?"
Thing One:
Sign over the door at a Machining Shop "If you think OSHA is a small town in Wisconsin, you're in big trouble!"
Thing Two:
Question -- What is the difference in a sperm cell and a lawyer?
Answer -- The sperm cell has a shot at becoming a human being.
Thing Three:
Daffynition -- Impotent Loser: a guy who can't even get his hopes up.
Thing Four:
Driving her sports car erratically, a gorgeous blonde was pulled over by a state trooper.
The lawman promptly asked her to get out of the vehicle, but as she did, he caught her slyly putting a tiny object in her mouth.
"Did I just see you trying to swallow something, Miss?" the trooper barked, thinking it had been drugs.
"Yes," replied the blonde. "That was my just my birth-control pill, Officer."
"Birth-control pill?" the confused copper reiterated.
"Yeah," the blonde explained. "The minute I saw your flashing lights in the mirror; I knew I was f*@ked!"
Thing Five:
An elderly woman riding on a train was doing a crossword puzzle, but she was stumped on one clue.
Eventually the exasperated biddy turned to the commuter seated next to her.
"Young man," she asked. "what's a four-letter word ending in I-T that is found in the bottom of a birdcage and that president George W. Bush is full of?"
"Well," said the young man after some thought, "that would have to be grit."
"My goodness, you're right!" the old lady exclaimed. "Uhmm, say, do you have an eraser?"
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