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Splitting Firewood

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  • Splitting Firewood

    "Hello, is this here the Sheriff's Office?"

    "Yes, what can I do for you?

    "I'm calling to report my neighbor, Virgil Smith. He's drillin' holes in his farwood and hiding marijuana inside!"

    "Thank you very much for the call, sir."

    The next day, the Sheriff & his deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they split every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

    The phone rings at Virgil's house. "Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?"

    "Yeah!"

    "Did they split yer farwood?"

    "Yep!"

    "Happy Birthday, buddy!"



    (Who says rednecks aren't real bright?!)

  • #2
    "Hello, is this here the Sheriff's Office?"

    "Yes, what can I do for you?

    "I'm calling to report my neighbor, Virgil Smith. He's drillin' holes in his farwood and hiding marijuana inside!"

    "Thank you very much for the call, sir."

    The next day, the Sheriff & his deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they split every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

    The phone rings at Virgil's house. "Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?"

    "Yeah!"

    "Did they split yer farwood?"

    "Yep!"

    "Happy Birthday, buddy!"



    (Who says rednecks aren't real bright?!)

    Comment


    • #3
      LOL.
      Very good. Thanks for the humour.
      Bet the police had splitting headaches afterwards.

      Comment


      • #4
        Similar to the jailbird who wrote his dad in the spring that he buried the loot in the garden. So dad got his garden spaded for free.

        HAH! Censors, y'know!

        Comment


        • #5
          Being from SE Ohio (although I'm not a redneck), redneck jokes are par for the course, its nice to see one where the rednecks win!

          Comment


          • #6
            Paw always said, "If you can find someone more redneck than yourself, then you ain't a redneck".

            Oh, alright, I am still looking, but that don't mean nothin'!

            Comment


            • #7
              Back in the old days, people who were tired of having their firewood stolen would drill a hole through the center of a big log, fill it with gunpowder and plug the hole. A few days later, someone’s house would mysteriously explode. Justice served.

              Comment


              • #8
                Actually splitting firewood is good way to relax and I personally enjoy it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I split my firewood with care when doing it nude. I to find it to be a good workout and very relaxing.Nothing like a good wood fire on a chilly winters eve.
                  Run Well and Smooth--------Roadrambler

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