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2007 Darwin Awards - Can you top these nominees?

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  • 2007 Darwin Awards - Can you top these nominees?

    I've been wondering for quite some time now how to FIX STUPID!!! And I've drawn and accepted the conclusion that you CAN'T!!! All you can do is give them a DARWIN AWARD!!!!

    And it's year end, so it's time for you to post your nominee(s) for the 2007 Darwin Awards! Here's mine.

    1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....

    And now, the Honorable Mentions:

    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train... When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, l eaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief wa s then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m. , flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away


    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

    In the interest of bettering humankind, please share these with your friends and family ... unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

  • #2
    Thanks for my LOL of the day. Omigod, are these people for real?!

    And from my hero, Oscar Wilde, who once wrote, "There is no sin except stupidity.”

    cheers USMC1,


    • #3
      There were some really fine winners this year, but not much reduction to the gene pool. Gotta like the one with the gun.


      • #4
        I concur with number one. Alas it is the only one who would qualify for a Darwin Award. The idea is to do something so stupid that you are removed from the Gene Pool. Like the guy who had some pictures making the rounds of a foolish twenty-something that decided he would take the bet that he could hold an M-80 firecracker in his mouth. He did, but his mouth sort of flopped over his forehead and down his chest. I thought the flower form left over proved him a true idiot. He even still had the lighter in his hand. I guess the police could take his lighter when they could pry it from his cold dead hand. So they did. Not sure when it happened of if he already has honerable mention on the Darwin website.

        That site is a laugh riot. It's truely amazing that some people are permitted to breed.